1 00:00:04,650 --> 00:00:07,474 >> Edroy Odem: live from the mist and shrouded mountaintop fortress 2 00:00:07,522 --> 00:00:10,314 that is X and Y Communications headquarters, 3 00:00:10,402 --> 00:00:12,682 you're listening to the world famous Mountain Top 4 00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:15,490 Podcast. And now, here's your host, 5 00:00:15,650 --> 00:00:16,830 Scot McKay. 6 00:00:19,090 --> 00:00:22,010 >> Scot McKay: All right, gentlemen, welcome to yet another episode of the world famous 7 00:00:22,050 --> 00:00:24,850 Mountaint top podcast. I'm your host, Scot McKay. 8 00:00:24,970 --> 00:00:27,916 You can find me on X, on True Social, on 9 00:00:27,948 --> 00:00:30,756 Tik Toc and on YouTube. Scot McKay. That's C O 10 00:00:30,788 --> 00:00:33,340 T McK A Y and Real Scot 11 00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:36,324 McKay on both threads and Instagram. 12 00:00:36,492 --> 00:00:39,412 The Facebook group which you guys should all be a 13 00:00:39,436 --> 00:00:42,360 part of by now is indeed facebook.com 14 00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:45,412 groups mountaintop 15 00:00:45,476 --> 00:00:48,220 summit. If you go to Facebook, search and type in 16 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:51,156 Mountain Top Summit, it should come right up. Join our group of guys who are getting better 17 00:00:51,188 --> 00:00:53,864 with women and becoming better men in the process. 18 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,456 And as always, gentlemen, 19 00:00:55,568 --> 00:00:58,448 mountaintoppodcast.com is the place to 20 00:00:58,464 --> 00:01:01,240 go for all things related to this podcast. Free 21 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,416 download, show notes, all that is there for you and 22 00:01:03,448 --> 00:01:06,096 more@mountaintoppodcast.com. 23 00:01:06,248 --> 00:01:09,112 my returning guest today is none other 24 00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:12,120 than Michael Allison, who is the CEO of 25 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,848 the Adversity Academy and a 26 00:01:14,904 --> 00:01:17,640 professional speaker at the national and perhaps 27 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,606 international level. the difference today is he has 28 00:01:20,638 --> 00:01:23,262 brought his lovely wife Courtney Allison with 29 00:01:23,286 --> 00:01:26,038 him to talk about, well, 30 00:01:26,134 --> 00:01:29,088 second chances with women. And, I'm looking forward to 31 00:01:29,104 --> 00:01:31,840 a great show. It's not typical for this 32 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,832 podcast to have two guests at once, but I'm excited about this 33 00:01:34,896 --> 00:01:37,720 particular one for sure. Michael and Courtney Allison, 34 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:38,816 welcome to the show. 35 00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:39,864 >> Courtney Allison: Thank you. 36 00:01:40,032 --> 00:01:42,928 >> Michael Allison: Hey, Scot, thank you for having us here, man. It's an absolute pleasure to be back with 37 00:01:42,944 --> 00:01:43,376 you, man. 38 00:01:43,448 --> 00:01:46,392 >> Scot McKay: It's an absolute pleasure to have you both here. Double the pleasure, because you're 39 00:01:46,416 --> 00:01:47,464 both here this time. 40 00:01:47,592 --> 00:01:50,576 >> Courtney Allison: Absolutely. We're excited that be on the show together. 41 00:01:50,688 --> 00:01:53,603 >> Scot McKay: Yeah. And, Courtney, I'm going to throw you under the bus. This is 42 00:01:53,627 --> 00:01:55,711 your first podcast interview ever. 43 00:01:56,291 --> 00:01:59,075 >> Courtney Allison: It is. But it's a delight to have this as our 44 00:01:59,123 --> 00:02:02,083 conversation point. So I'm excited about it and 45 00:02:02,107 --> 00:02:03,083 ready to rock and roll. 46 00:02:03,147 --> 00:02:05,747 >> Scot McKay: Yeah, you're already doing a great job. Now, see, by day, 47 00:02:05,939 --> 00:02:08,835 you're a lady boss in the it world, so you know what 48 00:02:08,843 --> 00:02:11,427 you're doing. You have lots of confidence. You're ready to rock. This is 49 00:02:11,459 --> 00:02:14,379 just another little knch in 50 00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:15,471 your gun, huh? Huh? 51 00:02:15,851 --> 00:02:16,703 >> Courtney Allison: That's right. 52 00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:19,231 >> Scot McKay: That's right. All right, now, truth be 53 00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:21,943 told, both of you have a future 54 00:02:22,007 --> 00:02:24,407 together as podcast host for 55 00:02:24,439 --> 00:02:27,103 couples. So you have a show upcoming. Is that 56 00:02:27,127 --> 00:02:27,703 correct? 57 00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:30,808 >> Michael Allison: Yeah, that's correct. We have the, Marriage Beautiful podcast. 58 00:02:30,864 --> 00:02:33,760 That's we're in their works and in the makings right now. But it's 59 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,672 more so about helping couples based off some of the things that 60 00:02:36,696 --> 00:02:39,512 we've been through ourselves that we'll share here, probably here with you 61 00:02:39,616 --> 00:02:42,568 on your podcast. But it to help people to get through some of those same things that 62 00:02:42,584 --> 00:02:44,794 we've been through challenging as with. As well. 63 00:02:44,882 --> 00:02:47,802 >> Scot McKay: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, with that title, you'll have some convincing to 64 00:02:47,826 --> 00:02:49,350 do, but I'm sure it'll be a 65 00:02:51,050 --> 00:02:54,042 change a lot of hearts and minds and marriages, I'm 66 00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:56,596 sure. You know, on that note, Emily and 67 00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:59,540 I launched. Oh, man, it's probably going back 68 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,452 16 or 17 years. Tempest fugitss, 69 00:03:02,492 --> 00:03:05,324 doesn't it? We had the domain. 70 00:03:05,508 --> 00:03:08,476 We had the whole forum set up. We were going 71 00:03:08,484 --> 00:03:11,460 to do a podcast, and we called it the Happy Couples 72 00:03:11,516 --> 00:03:14,204 Hangout. Sounds like a great name. 73 00:03:14,308 --> 00:03:17,204 Yeah, we've abandoned the domain since then and 74 00:03:17,228 --> 00:03:20,228 everything. Boy, it never got off the ground because 75 00:03:20,260 --> 00:03:22,792 happy couples don't have any questions. 76 00:03:24,332 --> 00:03:27,300 We're happy. What do we need? What do we need you fools for? You know, 77 00:03:27,316 --> 00:03:30,244 I mean, we're over here, you know, living the dream. What do you want to do? Disrupt that 78 00:03:30,268 --> 00:03:33,180 or something? Why would I want to talk about my marriage with 79 00:03:33,196 --> 00:03:36,164 a bunch of other happy couples? I can do that with my bfs. 80 00:03:36,268 --> 00:03:39,071 So it actually, there was no pain point there, so nothing 81 00:03:39,103 --> 00:03:41,861 happened. But, I mean, waving the banner of 82 00:03:41,893 --> 00:03:44,813 marriage, being beautiful, I think is beautiful in and of itself. And I'm sure 83 00:03:44,829 --> 00:03:47,517 you guys have a great show and everybody needs a little bit of 84 00:03:47,541 --> 00:03:50,477 encouragement. And, Michael, the last time you 85 00:03:50,501 --> 00:03:53,493 were on, you were one of the few guests we had on who 86 00:03:53,549 --> 00:03:56,105 actually gave his backstory, 87 00:03:56,725 --> 00:03:59,101 because it's one hell of a backstory. You've been through a 88 00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:02,047 lot. you're a military veteran. Thank you for your service again, 89 00:04:02,071 --> 00:04:02,775 by the way. 90 00:04:02,895 --> 00:04:03,575 >> Michael Allison: Thank you. 91 00:04:03,695 --> 00:04:06,615 >> Scot McKay: And, man, the things that you have overcome 92 00:04:06,655 --> 00:04:09,185 in this life would just make Will Smith 93 00:04:09,225 --> 00:04:11,645 and Pursuit of Happiness blush. 94 00:04:13,825 --> 00:04:16,465 Man, that movie's so hard to watch. It's like any 95 00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:19,345 Taylor Sheridan show where everything bad happens to everybody 96 00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:22,153 all the time. It's just. It's not entertainment. And 97 00:04:22,249 --> 00:04:25,071 certainly, your early life was less than entertaining. But 98 00:04:25,103 --> 00:04:27,887 now you are with Courtney again, 99 00:04:27,991 --> 00:04:30,775 I might add. And I would love for both of you to 100 00:04:30,815 --> 00:04:33,807 share that story, especially you, Courtney, 101 00:04:33,831 --> 00:04:36,749 from your perspective, because, man, 102 00:04:36,917 --> 00:04:39,845 this is one of those stories. Gentlemen, let me just give you the spoiler 103 00:04:39,885 --> 00:04:42,853 alert where if they can do it, you could do it. You know, if 104 00:04:42,869 --> 00:04:45,821 you have something that's just rot in your life right now 105 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:48,829 and you're kind of in a dark time. Let 106 00:04:48,877 --> 00:04:51,781 these two speak to you, minister 107 00:04:51,853 --> 00:04:54,653 to you even. Because what they've been through and what 108 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,565 they've overcome and not only still standing, but being happy 109 00:04:57,605 --> 00:05:00,413 is just overwhelming. So you two tell your story. I've 110 00:05:00,429 --> 00:05:01,265 said enough. 111 00:05:01,905 --> 00:05:04,577 >> Courtney Allison: Okay. I don't know where to begin, man. So I'm 112 00:05:04,601 --> 00:05:07,561 gonna start at the. Not too far to the beginning, 113 00:05:07,593 --> 00:05:10,515 but we'll give it a little go here. I met Michael. 114 00:05:10,595 --> 00:05:13,345 We actually dated on from an online app 115 00:05:13,685 --> 00:05:16,541 and that's how we met. We dated for five 116 00:05:16,613 --> 00:05:19,597 years in Georgia after we actually got to see 117 00:05:19,621 --> 00:05:22,275 each other after, being online. 118 00:05:22,695 --> 00:05:25,615 And then we got married, move. I moved 119 00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:28,293 to Maryland. And that 120 00:05:28,349 --> 00:05:31,277 first six months we were blended family as well. I 121 00:05:31,301 --> 00:05:34,261 must say that I had a nine year old 122 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:37,197 at the time and he had ah, a three year old 123 00:05:37,221 --> 00:05:39,785 at the time. And when we got married, it was 124 00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:43,069 definitely a rocky road trying to blend the families. And 125 00:05:43,157 --> 00:05:45,850 as you know from, Michael's past, 126 00:05:46,230 --> 00:05:49,102 he also was in the military and he was dealing 127 00:05:49,126 --> 00:05:51,910 with his own traumas. I was also dealing with 128 00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:54,931 my own, family upbringing trauma. So trying to 129 00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:57,675 blend not just the families but also the traumas 130 00:05:57,755 --> 00:06:00,651 together. We didn't have a lot of tools in the toolbox on 131 00:06:00,683 --> 00:06:03,347 how to figure out communication, conflict 132 00:06:03,491 --> 00:06:06,489 resolutions. so that was a battle in our home 133 00:06:06,537 --> 00:06:09,465 for the first six months and we 134 00:06:09,585 --> 00:06:12,193 decided to part ways. He also was going through 135 00:06:12,249 --> 00:06:14,896 a, nasty custody battle 136 00:06:14,952 --> 00:06:17,768 in another state down in Florida. So 137 00:06:17,888 --> 00:06:20,748 with that being said, I left, 138 00:06:21,063 --> 00:06:23,975 and went to live with my son in 139 00:06:24,039 --> 00:06:26,923 Maryland and he went to live with his son 140 00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:30,194 in Florida. And we struggled, trying to figure 141 00:06:30,218 --> 00:06:32,426 out how to make a long distance 142 00:06:32,514 --> 00:06:35,490 relationship. During our separation. We didn't quite get 143 00:06:35,506 --> 00:06:38,500 a divorce yet. We separated, and then 144 00:06:38,516 --> 00:06:41,188 we just decided at that point it was not working. 145 00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:44,108 And six months after that, so about a 146 00:06:44,140 --> 00:06:47,070 year later we were divorced. And 147 00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:50,102 we, I want to say about a month after that 148 00:06:50,142 --> 00:06:52,686 divorce was final, we was like, oh 149 00:06:52,734 --> 00:06:55,242 crap, what did we just do? 150 00:06:55,822 --> 00:06:58,566 Because ultimately we really loved each 151 00:06:58,614 --> 00:07:01,542 other. And yeah, we had some 152 00:07:01,582 --> 00:07:04,502 challenging times, but we felt like we could kind of rebuild 153 00:07:04,582 --> 00:07:07,222 and we struggled with the rebuilding, going to 154 00:07:07,262 --> 00:07:09,787 counseling virtually. and then 155 00:07:09,867 --> 00:07:12,831 we also decided to date long 156 00:07:12,879 --> 00:07:15,107 distance for quite a while and 157 00:07:15,487 --> 00:07:18,327 fast forward a little bit. There's a lot more to this story 158 00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:21,027 and I'll let Michael fill in any gaps here. But 159 00:07:21,317 --> 00:07:24,293 after about, I want to say about three to 160 00:07:24,405 --> 00:07:26,977 four years of long distance 161 00:07:27,317 --> 00:07:29,957 dating, we then decided to. Okay, now 162 00:07:29,997 --> 00:07:32,917 let's, let's try again. And we 163 00:07:32,957 --> 00:07:35,829 moved back in a House together. And there we go again. 164 00:07:35,893 --> 00:07:38,495 It was a battle. so still didn't really 165 00:07:38,551 --> 00:07:41,479 learn a lot. Didn't have a core foundation 166 00:07:41,543 --> 00:07:44,447 in. In our beliefs as far as our faith with 167 00:07:44,487 --> 00:07:47,143 Christ. Both of us was just struggling, 168 00:07:47,295 --> 00:07:50,295 and, we part ways again. So it 169 00:07:50,311 --> 00:07:53,095 wasn't the second chance. It was like a third 170 00:07:53,191 --> 00:07:55,784 chance. so after that, 171 00:07:55,968 --> 00:07:58,264 I moved back home in Atlanta, 172 00:07:58,408 --> 00:08:01,368 and he worked on himself individually, 173 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,500 I worked on myself individually. And 174 00:08:04,556 --> 00:08:07,052 we decided to do counseling. One more try, 175 00:08:07,172 --> 00:08:10,124 virtually. And we 176 00:08:10,148 --> 00:08:12,948 got remarried in March of 2023, and I moved 177 00:08:12,980 --> 00:08:15,668 back to Florida at the 178 00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:18,284 time. So here we are again, two years 179 00:08:18,348 --> 00:08:21,268 now, remarried, and it's been the 180 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,892 best two years of my life, to be honest, 181 00:08:23,932 --> 00:08:26,396 Scot. I mean, we've learned so much through this 182 00:08:26,484 --> 00:08:29,476 process of marriage and understanding each other as a 183 00:08:29,524 --> 00:08:32,478 relationship. And this has 184 00:08:32,510 --> 00:08:35,414 been the happiest time we've ever had in 185 00:08:35,438 --> 00:08:38,254 this whole 15 years of dating, remarried, dating, 186 00:08:38,278 --> 00:08:40,118 remarried, time of our life. 187 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,910 >> Scot McKay: Now, see, Michael's going to get up here and go, that's not how it happened at 188 00:08:42,926 --> 00:08:43,482 all. 189 00:08:46,022 --> 00:08:49,005 Now, just a little comic relief there. that is a beautiful story. I 190 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,989 love the name of your upcoming podcast even more. Marriage is 191 00:08:52,021 --> 00:08:55,005 Beautiful. Because people would look at both of you 192 00:08:55,029 --> 00:08:57,967 and go, well, that would be an ironic name. this 193 00:08:57,975 --> 00:09:00,703 is gonna have to be some kind of comedy show or something, because that doesn't sound 194 00:09:00,743 --> 00:09:03,111 beautiful at all. It sounds like a total lurid 195 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,895 mess. But you know 196 00:09:05,919 --> 00:09:08,847 what's interesting about what you just said, Courtney, and you 197 00:09:08,855 --> 00:09:11,735 have no way of knowing this, but two of our 198 00:09:11,799 --> 00:09:14,399 recent guests, not one, but two, got on this 199 00:09:14,431 --> 00:09:17,023 show and said the greatest harbinger of a 200 00:09:17,063 --> 00:09:19,999 lasting relationship is not necessarily how much 201 00:09:20,151 --> 00:09:22,775 a couple has in common, but their ability to 202 00:09:22,799 --> 00:09:24,471 handle conflict together. 203 00:09:24,527 --> 00:09:26,455 >> Courtney Allison: Yes, absolutely. 204 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:29,471 >> Scot McKay: And that's what you're preaching, isn't it? Because maybe the 205 00:09:29,487 --> 00:09:32,471 first time around, possibly even that second time around, you two 206 00:09:32,487 --> 00:09:35,403 were kind of out in the cold when it comes to that stuff. I. Michael. 207 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,919 >> Michael Allison: Yeah, that's true, man. You know, for us, when we 208 00:09:38,951 --> 00:09:41,823 got together, we were in our late 20s, 209 00:09:41,903 --> 00:09:44,255 and then we got married in our young 30s, 210 00:09:44,439 --> 00:09:47,239 and we're thinking that we know it all, but quite 211 00:09:47,271 --> 00:09:50,041 honestly, there's no true blueprint to what marriage is like 212 00:09:50,167 --> 00:09:53,082 with two people from two different, backgrounds. And I say that she's. 213 00:09:53,130 --> 00:09:55,994 I'm from the Caribbean, have a different background, upbringing, and 214 00:09:56,026 --> 00:09:58,970 what marriage. And what does a couple relationship look like? 215 00:09:59,114 --> 00:10:02,042 Especially somebody coming out of the military, too, as well, where things are much 216 00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:04,930 more structured, much for standard for me. And 217 00:10:04,954 --> 00:10:07,738 then meeting her and her son in Our blended 218 00:10:07,818 --> 00:10:10,786 family situation. So there's a lot more dynamics that I had to deal with 219 00:10:10,802 --> 00:10:13,546 and understand. And someone being 220 00:10:13,682 --> 00:10:16,570 at that particular time of my life with dealing with 221 00:10:16,594 --> 00:10:19,450 so many things, I, It was coming at me pretty fast, 222 00:10:19,554 --> 00:10:22,528 and, it was a big struggle for me to, as well, going 223 00:10:22,568 --> 00:10:25,544 through that. And I guess you want to say 224 00:10:25,736 --> 00:10:28,662 someone that has, ptsd, someone that is dealing with some of 225 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,022 the mental challenges and things like that. I have a very short 226 00:10:31,070 --> 00:10:33,742 temper and get frustrated very 227 00:10:33,790 --> 00:10:36,502 easily. I could easily go into depression mode very 228 00:10:36,550 --> 00:10:39,550 fast. And some of those things were really triggering a lot of things for 229 00:10:39,574 --> 00:10:42,038 me. And I was pouring out some of that 230 00:10:42,078 --> 00:10:44,882 frustration into my family, too, as well. Man. 231 00:10:45,030 --> 00:10:47,882 And that's some of the things that I truly had to address before 232 00:10:48,010 --> 00:10:50,826 I even wanted to step back into our relationship and put 233 00:10:50,842 --> 00:10:52,226 our family back together. 234 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,306 >> Scot McKay: Yeah. You know, a lot of times people talk 235 00:10:55,362 --> 00:10:58,010 about relationship readiness, don't they? And it 236 00:10:58,034 --> 00:11:01,013 seems, this ethereal standard that 237 00:11:01,029 --> 00:11:03,665 we all have to kind of live up to, and 238 00:11:04,005 --> 00:11:06,973 no one really can define it very well, but they know it when they see 239 00:11:06,989 --> 00:11:09,989 it. Apparently, if you're going through a whole lot of stuff 240 00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:13,015 like that, there really isn't a whole lot of yourself left 241 00:11:13,055 --> 00:11:15,951 to give to a relationship because you're trying to bail 242 00:11:15,983 --> 00:11:17,999 out your own lifeboat. You know what I mean? 243 00:11:18,167 --> 00:11:19,439 >> Courtney Allison: Right. Yeah. 244 00:11:19,567 --> 00:11:22,415 >> Michael Allison: When you're. When you're going through this stuff and you're sinking 245 00:11:22,535 --> 00:11:25,439 and there's no one there to help you, like, 246 00:11:25,487 --> 00:11:28,157 throw an anchor and help you, man. it'll keep you down there, man. But 247 00:11:28,189 --> 00:11:30,781 luckily for us, you know, we kind of, like, relied on each 248 00:11:30,821 --> 00:11:33,733 other and knew that there was something there between the 249 00:11:33,757 --> 00:11:36,733 bond between us, and we just had to, like, dig in 250 00:11:36,757 --> 00:11:39,717 and actually truly work on that if we truly wanted to make this thing 251 00:11:39,749 --> 00:11:40,373 work. 252 00:11:40,557 --> 00:11:43,189 >> Courtney Allison: Also, we both come from families 253 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:46,029 where our mom and dads are still together, 254 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,197 and so that is a significant part of our 255 00:11:49,229 --> 00:11:52,026 life. And seeing those, relationships, 256 00:11:52,186 --> 00:11:55,018 we knew that they've been through difficult times, 257 00:11:55,162 --> 00:11:57,978 and we knew that they figured it out. Yeah, they're 258 00:11:58,002 --> 00:12:00,932 not perfect. U. they. They've had a lot of conflict in 259 00:12:00,948 --> 00:12:03,676 their lives, both of our families, but. So we wanted 260 00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:06,676 to understand why we couldn't figure it 261 00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:09,340 out. Why did we. We couldn't 262 00:12:09,452 --> 00:12:12,364 understand how to be, I guess, like the 263 00:12:12,404 --> 00:12:14,652 old folks would Relationships. 264 00:12:14,708 --> 00:12:17,484 >> Scot McKay: Right, Right. No, I understand exactly what you're 265 00:12:17,524 --> 00:12:20,180 saying. And again, the two of you 266 00:12:20,212 --> 00:12:22,988 probably would have no way of knowing this, but I was 267 00:12:23,036 --> 00:12:26,004 the first divorcee in my entire family's history 268 00:12:26,044 --> 00:12:27,156 on both sides. 269 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:28,295 >> Courtney Allison: Oh, wow. 270 00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:31,725 >> Scot McKay: And you can imagine the shame and the guilt at, the 271 00:12:31,797 --> 00:12:34,285 familial level. I mean, all of a sudden I 272 00:12:34,317 --> 00:12:37,169 was, you know, not exactly 273 00:12:37,209 --> 00:12:40,177 Persona non grata. I mean, everybody was gracious, but nobody knew how 274 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,129 to handle me or my situation. You know, it's 275 00:12:43,169 --> 00:12:46,129 almost like when you're married and you have other couples 276 00:12:46,169 --> 00:12:49,017 as friends and then somebody gets divorced and no one wants to hang out with the 277 00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:51,769 third wheel anymore. They have to go start all over, even at the friendship 278 00:12:51,809 --> 00:12:54,705 level with other people. Yeah, there's 279 00:12:54,737 --> 00:12:57,633 a lot of pressure there when your family has a 280 00:12:57,681 --> 00:13:00,273 history of strong, positive marriages or even 281 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:03,185 dysfunctional marriages where they gutd out and stay together anyway, 282 00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:06,127 even though one of them probably should have left, because that's 283 00:13:06,143 --> 00:13:08,463 just not what we do around here. So I completely 284 00:13:08,551 --> 00:13:11,535 understand what you're talking about. I would like to add 285 00:13:11,607 --> 00:13:14,543 two things there. First of all, the fact 286 00:13:14,591 --> 00:13:17,343 that the two of you are together after breaking up not 287 00:13:17,391 --> 00:13:20,319 once, but twice is unusual 288 00:13:20,439 --> 00:13:23,095 and indeed improbable. And I've been on 289 00:13:23,167 --> 00:13:26,079 record as saying that when couples break up, it's 290 00:13:26,119 --> 00:13:28,871 probably for good reason and they should stay broken 291 00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:31,815 up. And usually when they get together, 292 00:13:31,847 --> 00:13:34,695 it's because they don't have any other options or they're returning to 293 00:13:34,727 --> 00:13:37,431 what they know, or they have a somewhat 294 00:13:37,495 --> 00:13:40,495 fantastic, in the true sense of the word, view 295 00:13:40,527 --> 00:13:43,279 of what happened the first time around, because human memory likes 296 00:13:43,319 --> 00:13:46,183 to remember only the good times and close 297 00:13:46,231 --> 00:13:49,231 out or repress those bad times. But 298 00:13:49,255 --> 00:13:51,511 the two of you have beaten the odds here, 299 00:13:51,695 --> 00:13:54,559 and that indicates that there was something there both 300 00:13:54,599 --> 00:13:57,455 of you needed to figure out, or a lot of something'there that both of you 301 00:13:57,487 --> 00:14:00,447 needed to figure out, and you've done it. And that's what I want 302 00:14:00,463 --> 00:14:03,457 to talk about next. But before we go there, there's 303 00:14:03,473 --> 00:14:06,225 a lot of talk on this show, Michael and Courtney, 304 00:14:06,337 --> 00:14:08,909 about transactional relationships, 305 00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:13,033 because you mentioned Courtney, what is it about the old folks, you 306 00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:15,977 know, as you called them, and I resemble that nowadays. I'm 307 00:14:15,993 --> 00:14:18,977 getting closer and closer to that point, by the way I 308 00:14:18,993 --> 00:14:21,384 look in the mirror and go, dad, you know? And, 309 00:14:21,999 --> 00:14:24,967 they all tend to be together for a long time. I think there 310 00:14:24,983 --> 00:14:27,239 was. I mean, there's no doubt there was less 311 00:14:27,319 --> 00:14:30,199 divorce back during, you know, the greatest Generation, 312 00:14:30,279 --> 00:14:32,663 as we call them. M. The World War II folks are in their 90s 313 00:14:32,711 --> 00:14:35,247 now. And nowadays 314 00:14:35,423 --> 00:14:38,119 relationships seems somewhat disposable, don't they? 315 00:14:38,199 --> 00:14:40,695 Yeah, it's like, if I get together with 316 00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:43,735 someone, what are they going to do for me and what am I 317 00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:46,767 going to do for them? What's the deal, we strike here. That's 318 00:14:46,783 --> 00:14:49,783 in the best interest of both parties. And of course, 319 00:14:49,831 --> 00:14:52,695 when someone's not getting what they need, they cut and they 320 00:14:52,727 --> 00:14:55,655 run. Because it was all a business deal. It was a 321 00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,855 transaction. And 322 00:14:58,047 --> 00:15:00,913 also nowadays, the most 323 00:15:00,961 --> 00:15:03,753 current state is people are entering into relationships 324 00:15:03,801 --> 00:15:06,761 really without any mind at all towards what the other 325 00:15:06,785 --> 00:15:09,705 person should get or is entitled 326 00:15:09,777 --> 00:15:12,753 to get from this relationship. It's all about what I want, what I need, and 327 00:15:12,761 --> 00:15:15,601 if I don't get it, I'm cutting and running, regardless of whether you're fed or 328 00:15:15,625 --> 00:15:18,561 not around here. And that's really a sad state 329 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,553 of affairs. So talk to us a little bit 330 00:15:21,601 --> 00:15:24,177 more, Courtney and Michael, about how you 331 00:15:24,233 --> 00:15:26,273 battled back against that postmodern 332 00:15:26,321 --> 00:15:28,891 mindset and said, okay, both of 333 00:15:28,915 --> 00:15:31,867 us, we've been through some stuff here, but we do. We 334 00:15:31,923 --> 00:15:34,451 absolutely love each other. This isn't something that's 335 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:37,283 a purely transactional relationship. There's 336 00:15:37,331 --> 00:15:40,267 meaning, there's purpose, there's a longing for each 337 00:15:40,323 --> 00:15:43,283 other that a lot of other couples lack, and that's worth 338 00:15:43,331 --> 00:15:45,651 giving this every shot we have. What 339 00:15:45,795 --> 00:15:48,579 process caused you to arrive at that solution 340 00:15:48,659 --> 00:15:51,319 of going old school, for lack of a better way to put it? 341 00:15:52,059 --> 00:15:54,899 >> Courtney Allison: For me, Scot, I would say that it had a lot 342 00:15:54,939 --> 00:15:57,726 to do with my faith. Right. I grew up 343 00:15:58,086 --> 00:16:00,958 knowing that divorce wasn't an option 344 00:16:01,142 --> 00:16:04,086 in my family or just in my. My 345 00:16:04,126 --> 00:16:07,014 faith. And I. And I was battling that, 346 00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:09,861 being separated, from Michael, 347 00:16:09,987 --> 00:16:12,886 ah, just m. Me and my spiritual growth with. With 348 00:16:12,934 --> 00:16:15,854 God. And I had to 349 00:16:15,878 --> 00:16:18,806 find reasons, just trying to figure out 350 00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:21,030 and balance the reasons on why am I 351 00:16:21,126 --> 00:16:23,396 separated. And just 352 00:16:23,574 --> 00:16:26,360 reflecting in my spiritual growth and my spiritual faith, 353 00:16:26,456 --> 00:16:29,288 I just knew that that's not something that I wanted in 354 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,024 my life. And so I had to do the individual 355 00:16:32,088 --> 00:16:34,968 work as well to kind of reflect on what did 356 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,812 I do in this relationship that caused 357 00:16:38,272 --> 00:16:41,208 us to move into a direction of separation and 358 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,048 divorce. So I went to individual counseling. 359 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,864 It wasn't just about Michael doing his work. 360 00:16:46,968 --> 00:16:49,966 I had to also reflect as a woman, where did I 361 00:16:50,054 --> 00:16:52,942 need to grow? And that's what 362 00:16:52,982 --> 00:16:55,774 really made me realize that there's more to this 363 00:16:55,838 --> 00:16:57,882 relationship than just, 364 00:16:58,652 --> 00:17:01,644 the issues that we were having. Also with a 365 00:17:01,668 --> 00:17:04,540 saint. With that in mind, the issues that 366 00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:07,244 we were having were not irresolvable. 367 00:17:07,428 --> 00:17:10,380 We could get through these issues if we were just talking through them 368 00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:13,268 and had the right tools in the right 369 00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:16,302 people to talk with. And some wisdom, 370 00:17:16,382 --> 00:17:19,343 basically, is what we needed, about the issues that we 371 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:22,159 were going through. So after understanding 372 00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,903 that, then I realized that our 373 00:17:24,959 --> 00:17:27,932 relationship is much more than what we've allowed 374 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:28,812 us to be. 375 00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:31,508 >> Scot McKay: Michael, it sounds like the two of you didn't play ye old 376 00:17:31,652 --> 00:17:34,636 blame game with each other. Like this is all her fault. She's go 377 00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:37,564 going toa have to fix everything or I'm not coming back and vice versa. You didn't 378 00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:38,460 play that game. 379 00:17:38,628 --> 00:17:41,428 >> Michael Allison: No, we didn't. We actually took accountability and 380 00:17:41,492 --> 00:17:44,476 responsibility individually first, which that was the first thing that we 381 00:17:44,516 --> 00:17:47,410 did. And as we separated, we identified 382 00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:50,274 some of the things that was tied to that. And for myself, 383 00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:53,139 I had to work all myself from the inside out 384 00:17:53,307 --> 00:17:55,963 and identify what were some of the 385 00:17:56,019 --> 00:17:58,691 areas that were keeping me back to 386 00:17:58,723 --> 00:18:01,659 be my whole self in this relationship and give 387 00:18:01,707 --> 00:18:04,603 100% of myself in this relationship. And as I 388 00:18:04,619 --> 00:18:07,571 took a step back, you know, Scot, I was dealing 389 00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:10,395 with the trauma from the past. But then some of those 390 00:18:10,435 --> 00:18:12,955 things I was dealing with also was tied 391 00:18:12,995 --> 00:18:15,796 to some people. People call it, soul ties. So things 392 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:18,692 from past relationships that included from like my 393 00:18:18,732 --> 00:18:21,436 ex wife that I was still carrying on with some 394 00:18:21,484 --> 00:18:24,340 fear, some guilt, some aggression that was tied to that 395 00:18:24,396 --> 00:18:27,036 that could potentially hurt me in this relationship. 396 00:18:27,204 --> 00:18:30,140 And subconsciously I was holding that 397 00:18:30,236 --> 00:18:32,932 against Courtney as well too. Then 398 00:18:33,092 --> 00:18:35,996 following that, I'm going through this child custody situation 399 00:18:36,164 --> 00:18:39,108 with my own personal son and I'm 400 00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:41,802 going through raising a son, which is her 401 00:18:41,842 --> 00:18:44,522 son, and I'm struggling in that department 402 00:18:44,602 --> 00:18:47,290 too. And it caused a bit of resentment, a whole bunch of 403 00:18:47,346 --> 00:18:50,250 other feelings that I was dealing with and going through at that time. So that's when 404 00:18:50,266 --> 00:18:53,082 I really had to start looking at what is causing me to feel this 405 00:18:53,122 --> 00:18:55,986 way. And that's how I started working on myself to 406 00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:58,458 address some of these things in regards to moving 407 00:18:58,530 --> 00:19:00,982 forward, following that. For me, you know, 408 00:19:01,442 --> 00:19:03,962 I think it was a moral 409 00:19:04,002 --> 00:19:06,874 obligation for me in regards to taking this woman, 410 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,338 taking her hand and asking her to be my 411 00:19:09,370 --> 00:19:11,828 wife. And I guess 412 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,900 knowing that I did not fulfill what I said I 413 00:19:14,916 --> 00:19:17,764 was going toa do and keep my word to that. And 414 00:19:17,908 --> 00:19:20,827 kind of like when it, when I look at the accountability standpoint 415 00:19:20,867 --> 00:19:23,323 of it, did I uphold my end of the 416 00:19:23,355 --> 00:19:25,955 bargain in regards to us walking away? 417 00:19:26,091 --> 00:19:29,083 And I personally did not feel like I did that. So 418 00:19:29,115 --> 00:19:31,875 that's when I said, all right, how can I change, 419 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:34,731 change things about myself to be a better man? And 420 00:19:34,779 --> 00:19:37,447 that's when I got into things with accountability 421 00:19:37,527 --> 00:19:40,485 partners, got into things with coaching, got into things with our mentors 422 00:19:40,541 --> 00:19:43,365 and different groups. And some of those things truly helped 423 00:19:43,381 --> 00:19:45,941 me. And one of the biggest things was also 424 00:19:45,989 --> 00:19:48,893 changing my environment. So either the people that was hanging 425 00:19:48,925 --> 00:19:51,749 around. Some of the things I was watching on tv, some of the things I was 426 00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:54,661 listening to, some of those external factors 427 00:19:54,749 --> 00:19:57,645 that could actually have an impact on that played a 428 00:19:57,661 --> 00:20:00,577 partner to me changing and going a different direction to as well. 429 00:20:01,037 --> 00:20:03,925 >> Scot McKay: Yeah, you know, you're talking about those external influences. A lot of men out there 430 00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,725 are listening to this red pilled stuff. And the men go in their own way, 431 00:20:06,781 --> 00:20:09,563 have a huge presence on YouTube. And 432 00:20:09,595 --> 00:20:12,435 guys who actually mean well and actually lik and 433 00:20:12,451 --> 00:20:15,331 adore women can fall into that trap of being a little 434 00:20:15,379 --> 00:20:18,219 jaded by what they hear. You know, you'll be called a simp if 435 00:20:18,243 --> 00:20:20,893 you do anything to try to get a woman back. you 436 00:20:20,925 --> 00:20:23,469 get derided in the men's groups 437 00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:26,373 on Facebook for even trying to 438 00:20:26,405 --> 00:20:29,373 repair a marriage because these guys will get all macho and go, just kick 439 00:20:29,405 --> 00:20:32,077 her to the curb. Meanwhile, the women are no better. You have angry 440 00:20:32,117 --> 00:20:34,713 feminists out there telling women they don't need a man at 441 00:20:34,745 --> 00:20:37,385 all. You probably shouldn't even want a man. 442 00:20:37,561 --> 00:20:40,302 And all this does nothing but, spur 443 00:20:40,382 --> 00:20:42,926 along that idea that men and women shouldn't be 444 00:20:42,974 --> 00:20:45,788 together. And next thing you know, men shouldn't 445 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,380 be masculine. They don't need to be providers and protectors. 446 00:20:48,476 --> 00:20:51,276 Masculinity and femininity at best 447 00:20:51,444 --> 00:20:53,714 are social constructs. at worst, 448 00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:56,770 masculinity is toxic, no matter what you try to make it 449 00:20:56,786 --> 00:20:59,378 look like, even if you mean well. And that 450 00:20:59,410 --> 00:21:01,966 means fewer couples are getting married, fewer 451 00:21:02,014 --> 00:21:04,958 couples who get together stay together, there's pressure 452 00:21:04,990 --> 00:21:07,454 on the birth rate, fewer couples are having kids, 453 00:21:07,638 --> 00:21:10,518 and that to me is what's toxic. 454 00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:13,662 But by the two of you having the wherewithal 455 00:21:13,742 --> 00:21:16,430 and yes, to use the same word you did, Courtney, 456 00:21:16,606 --> 00:21:19,334 having that wisdom that really only comes from 457 00:21:19,358 --> 00:21:22,270 life experience. You know, you could be as book smart as you want 458 00:21:22,286 --> 00:21:25,262 to be, but until you've lived some life and been kicked around the block 459 00:21:25,302 --> 00:21:28,182 a few times, you really don't have the wisdom you should have to make the kind of 460 00:21:28,222 --> 00:21:31,206 decisions you need to make to really succeed in life. So with that wisdom 461 00:21:31,254 --> 00:21:34,124 the two of you share. Now, both of you did work 462 00:21:34,148 --> 00:21:36,748 on yourself saying, hey, you know what? I don't care 463 00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:39,748 who has an opinion on this. I'm going toa do 464 00:21:39,780 --> 00:21:42,712 what I think is right between me and my God, 465 00:21:43,012 --> 00:21:45,900 to be the best person I can be. And then when the 466 00:21:45,916 --> 00:21:48,556 two of you got back together, it 467 00:21:48,684 --> 00:21:51,661 wasn't really that you were, a simp or anything because you had 468 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:54,685 this goal in mind of getting your ex back. Both of you were 469 00:21:54,717 --> 00:21:57,677 on the Same page. You see, when it's a double standard 470 00:21:57,773 --> 00:22:00,429 or it's one sided, that's when someone's acting 471 00:22:00,469 --> 00:22:03,461 foolishly. But because both of you knew you loved each other and you 472 00:22:03,485 --> 00:22:06,445 wanted this, that was almost like, you know, 473 00:22:06,477 --> 00:22:09,341 the magic wand you needed to wave over this to get the two of you 474 00:22:09,365 --> 00:22:12,341 back together. Although it's perfectly logical, not magical. 475 00:22:12,485 --> 00:22:15,031 >> Michael Allison: Yeah, I agree with you, man. When it's, a 476 00:22:15,135 --> 00:22:17,727 common bond and both of us 477 00:22:17,783 --> 00:22:20,615 feel equally yoked together and 478 00:22:20,687 --> 00:22:23,595 we're equally vested, I think 479 00:22:23,667 --> 00:22:26,620 it made the, process much more seamless for us 480 00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:29,676 in regards to wanting to be involved and wanted to be there to support 481 00:22:29,708 --> 00:22:32,540 each other as we did. We did went on this journey 482 00:22:32,620 --> 00:22:35,284 individually, and then we went on this journey collectively 483 00:22:35,372 --> 00:22:38,188 together too. Then we even brought our kids in. And that 484 00:22:38,204 --> 00:22:41,165 was the, beautiful aspect of this in regards to 485 00:22:41,333 --> 00:22:44,253 bringing our family back together. As I mentioned to you before, I felt 486 00:22:44,277 --> 00:22:47,061 like this was my part in regards to, 487 00:22:47,141 --> 00:22:49,851 as a man, as a father, that I wanted to 488 00:22:50,011 --> 00:22:52,795 get my family back together, get my kids back together 489 00:22:52,963 --> 00:22:55,379 and rebuild that. You know, I feel 490 00:22:55,555 --> 00:22:58,467 obligated that this was something that I played a part in 491 00:22:58,499 --> 00:23:01,467 breaking down and I wanted to play a part in building that back up. 492 00:23:01,619 --> 00:23:04,427 You know, we could, we could get caught up in some of these 493 00:23:04,459 --> 00:23:07,435 things out, hear either the rhetoric around alpha males 494 00:23:07,523 --> 00:23:10,211 getting quot of the rhetoric around some of the things where 495 00:23:10,331 --> 00:23:13,323 you're not a man of this or any of those types of things, but for me, 496 00:23:13,347 --> 00:23:16,213 at my core beliefs and some of the things that I feel 497 00:23:16,237 --> 00:23:19,197 like I'm truly obligated to do as a man, as a husband, as a 498 00:23:19,229 --> 00:23:22,085 father, you know, I'm going to step into that place and step 499 00:23:22,133 --> 00:23:25,133 into that role to make sure that I'm going to be in 500 00:23:25,157 --> 00:23:28,037 that position, to make sure that I'm going to take care of my family, 501 00:23:28,069 --> 00:23:30,509 take care of my wife and take care of my kids, well, you'll. 502 00:23:30,525 --> 00:23:33,493 >> Scot McKay: Get no argument from this side that a real man puts 503 00:23:33,517 --> 00:23:34,561 his family first. 504 00:23:35,021 --> 00:23:35,453 >> Michael Allison: Right? 505 00:23:35,517 --> 00:23:38,453 >> Scot McKay: You'll get no argument from me there. Michael, what 506 00:23:38,477 --> 00:23:41,021 would you say to men out there who say, 507 00:23:41,061 --> 00:23:43,967 look, all women are terrible, they're all going to 508 00:23:43,999 --> 00:23:46,871 leave you. None of them really love you. They're all selfish, they're 509 00:23:46,911 --> 00:23:49,911 solipsistic, they're kind of in their own 510 00:23:49,951 --> 00:23:52,687 head. They live for the moment and as soon as someone taller, more 511 00:23:52,719 --> 00:23:55,671 handsome and richer comes along, they're out the door. So, yeah, you really 512 00:23:55,711 --> 00:23:58,663 are being foolish here. This is all a big pipe dream. You're being 513 00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:01,623 a little quixotic about this. If you will. What would you say 514 00:24:01,647 --> 00:24:02,571 to those guys? 515 00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:06,191 >> Michael Allison: Yeah, what I would say to those guys is truly identify 516 00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:09,293 what is your standards, what is your identity? 517 00:24:09,357 --> 00:24:12,197 What is things that you believe in at 518 00:24:12,229 --> 00:24:15,229 your core that you will die on a 519 00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:17,949 hill for. And you're going to have 520 00:24:18,045 --> 00:24:20,893 plenty of women come across you, but the 521 00:24:20,917 --> 00:24:23,693 ones that's truly for you, they're going to truly be there for 522 00:24:23,717 --> 00:24:26,037 you, regardless of any of your 523 00:24:26,069 --> 00:24:29,061 circumstances, any of those situations. And 524 00:24:29,141 --> 00:24:31,949 when you're looking for the type of woman that's going to be in your 525 00:24:32,005 --> 00:24:34,679 corner, be by your side through the good, through the bad, 526 00:24:34,845 --> 00:24:37,739 any of those circumstances, that's who you truly need 527 00:24:37,755 --> 00:24:40,531 to identify with. But you need to identify what your standards 528 00:24:40,571 --> 00:24:43,291 are. Because whenever you get into circumstances, 529 00:24:43,331 --> 00:24:46,195 situations where you're going to have these women that 530 00:24:46,243 --> 00:24:49,155 are transactional fly by night or in it for some of 531 00:24:49,163 --> 00:24:52,155 these superficial types of things. If you're not making the money, if 532 00:24:52,163 --> 00:24:54,947 you're not driving the car, if you don't have the job, if you 533 00:24:54,979 --> 00:24:57,515 don't have a certain typ of status or 534 00:24:57,563 --> 00:24:59,739 stature in life, then 535 00:24:59,835 --> 00:25:02,603 eventually you might see her walk out the door on 536 00:25:02,627 --> 00:25:05,563 you, cheat on you, or seek things in other places that 537 00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:08,203 you cannot provide. So you need to truly be 538 00:25:08,307 --> 00:25:11,216 confident in yourself. You need to build up yourself to, 539 00:25:11,465 --> 00:25:14,321 understand where this is who I am, this is who I 540 00:25:14,361 --> 00:25:17,353 stand for, and this is the type of person that I'm looking for 541 00:25:17,377 --> 00:25:20,209 to be with. And if this person cannot be with me for 542 00:25:20,305 --> 00:25:23,001 what I stand for, what I believe in, then that's a good 543 00:25:23,041 --> 00:25:25,593 telltale sign that this person is not for you. 544 00:25:25,777 --> 00:25:28,601 >> Scot McKay: Courtney, this show is almost 100% 545 00:25:28,681 --> 00:25:29,449 men listening. 546 00:25:29,505 --> 00:25:31,857 >> Courtney Allison: Oay. Okay, that's good. 547 00:25:31,969 --> 00:25:34,807 >> Scot McKay: I love how you. I love how you had a good natured laugh at that 548 00:25:34,839 --> 00:25:37,623 one. I'm gonna ask you the same question 549 00:25:37,687 --> 00:25:40,687 from your perspective. There are a lot of women out there who think 550 00:25:40,719 --> 00:25:42,011 there are no good men. 551 00:25:42,356 --> 00:25:42,496 >> Courtney Allison: Uh-huh. 552 00:25:42,871 --> 00:25:45,799 >> Scot McKay: And you and Michael, and 553 00:25:45,815 --> 00:25:48,575 this is addressed to both of you had every right to 554 00:25:48,623 --> 00:25:51,399 believe, you know, what they said about the other gender 555 00:25:51,455 --> 00:25:54,415 and about marriage was absolutely correct. This 556 00:25:54,463 --> 00:25:57,343 sucks. I should never have done it. It was a big mistake. Now I've 557 00:25:57,367 --> 00:26:00,297 made that mistake twice as you roll your eyes. And I'm 558 00:26:00,329 --> 00:26:03,297 never going back. I am going my own way. But here you are, both 559 00:26:03,329 --> 00:26:05,969 of you are together. I think you've talked very 560 00:26:06,025 --> 00:26:08,825 eloquently and clearly about what 561 00:26:08,873 --> 00:26:11,457 got the two of you back together for good this time. 562 00:26:11,609 --> 00:26:14,361 But, Courtney, what would you say to the guys out 563 00:26:14,401 --> 00:26:17,273 there who were pretty convinced all women are 564 00:26:17,337 --> 00:26:20,257 against men? They've decided that none of the men are any 565 00:26:20,289 --> 00:26:22,979 good. there are a lot of women out there who 566 00:26:23,115 --> 00:26:26,115 think men are responsible for everything bad 567 00:26:26,163 --> 00:26:29,019 that's ever happened in the world. And there's a lot of propaganda 568 00:26:29,035 --> 00:26:31,933 out there about it. First of all, 569 00:26:32,077 --> 00:26:35,053 why are you still thinking differently? And second of all, what would you 570 00:26:35,077 --> 00:26:38,013 say to the men out there who might be suffering from this mindset that 571 00:26:38,037 --> 00:26:40,645 says, I'm never going to find a good woman, so why try? 572 00:26:40,813 --> 00:26:43,773 >> Courtney Allison: Well, the first thing I would say is we, you have to be able 573 00:26:43,837 --> 00:26:46,477 to find the ability to silence the 574 00:26:46,509 --> 00:26:49,259 noise. there is a lot of noise that 575 00:26:49,315 --> 00:26:52,294 happened while we were trying to get back 576 00:26:52,358 --> 00:26:55,334 together. Whether or not it was family that didn't want me to go 577 00:26:55,358 --> 00:26:57,978 back, whether or not it was friends 578 00:26:58,090 --> 00:27:01,050 or just like you say social media 579 00:27:01,106 --> 00:27:03,754 or you see it on tv, they don't go back to 580 00:27:03,778 --> 00:27:06,194 your ex or don't men or this, men or 581 00:27:06,218 --> 00:27:09,049 that. so you have to silence the noise and know what you 582 00:27:09,081 --> 00:27:12,073 want for yourself. And I think M. Michael said it best. Being 583 00:27:12,153 --> 00:27:14,897 confident in who you are as well as 584 00:27:14,985 --> 00:27:17,433 knowing exactly what matters to you 585 00:27:17,473 --> 00:27:19,969 most in a significant other. 586 00:27:20,161 --> 00:27:22,811 You have to understand that. Take some time 587 00:27:22,977 --> 00:27:25,943 to sit down and reflect. Reflect on what 588 00:27:25,983 --> 00:27:28,807 makes what, what makes you proud, what makes 589 00:27:28,855 --> 00:27:31,847 you happy, what, what do you want out of life 590 00:27:31,975 --> 00:27:34,647 and then start to, to believe and understand 591 00:27:34,695 --> 00:27:37,631 that you are capable of finding someone. 592 00:27:37,638 --> 00:27:40,157 you have to, you have to truly believe that in your 593 00:27:40,205 --> 00:27:43,181 heart that there is something out there for you. 594 00:27:43,317 --> 00:27:46,069 Do some soul searching. You have to work on yourself first. 595 00:27:46,141 --> 00:27:49,109 Get that negative mindset out. Because it 596 00:27:49,141 --> 00:27:52,109 really comes down to your mindset as well. If you 597 00:27:52,141 --> 00:27:55,125 sit here and believe that there's something out, there's nothing out there, 598 00:27:55,149 --> 00:27:58,069 then nothing will find you. If you believe that there is 599 00:27:58,181 --> 00:28:00,629 a woman that fits what you 600 00:28:00,661 --> 00:28:03,261 want out of life and compliments 601 00:28:03,317 --> 00:28:05,981 you, then you will find that person. 602 00:28:06,157 --> 00:28:08,997 Also, you might just need to stop looking and understand 603 00:28:09,045 --> 00:28:12,037 where you're looking. If you're going to the bars looking for a 604 00:28:12,085 --> 00:28:15,045 woman, you might find the wrong woman. So you may need to 605 00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:17,589 figure out where the best place to 606 00:28:17,621 --> 00:28:20,501 go to find that mate. And sometimes it 607 00:28:20,517 --> 00:28:23,285 could just be natural finding by going for a 608 00:28:23,309 --> 00:28:26,229 walking AP park. You never know. If you keep your 609 00:28:26,261 --> 00:28:28,829 mind open, just be confident in who you 610 00:28:28,861 --> 00:28:30,877 are, you'll find the right person. 611 00:28:31,005 --> 00:28:33,861 >> Scot McKay: You know, a lot of people out there would say you beat the eyesds by meeting 612 00:28:33,877 --> 00:28:36,693 each other on a dating app because man is that ever assessed pool 613 00:28:36,733 --> 00:28:39,273 nowadays. So it really can be anywhere. 614 00:28:39,653 --> 00:28:42,501 Marriage is not supposed to be a Sociopol political 615 00:28:42,557 --> 00:28:45,261 agenda. So when you let sociopit 616 00:28:45,277 --> 00:28:48,061 political stuff poison something 617 00:28:48,117 --> 00:28:50,437 beautiful that's arising between a man and a 618 00:28:50,485 --> 00:28:53,293 woman, really what you're doing is being easily 619 00:28:53,373 --> 00:28:56,309 led. That's not leadership, that's following, 620 00:28:56,501 --> 00:28:59,469 and that's not very smart. And in many ways 621 00:28:59,501 --> 00:29:02,501 it's not very practical. Yet I know so many 622 00:29:02,557 --> 00:29:04,989 couples who have a 623 00:29:05,021 --> 00:29:08,013 reasonably good relationship and it's being strained 624 00:29:08,093 --> 00:29:10,917 by what they're being told by social media and the 625 00:29:10,925 --> 00:29:13,673 evening news. And I just think that's tragic. 626 00:29:13,753 --> 00:29:16,649 So I thank you so much for bringing that up. You know, my last 627 00:29:16,721 --> 00:29:18,933 question was going to be for both of you. 628 00:29:19,553 --> 00:29:22,097 What would you tell someone who's struggling with 629 00:29:22,145 --> 00:29:24,913 exactly what you've been struggling with over the years right 630 00:29:24,953 --> 00:29:27,721 now? And what would you tell them to help 631 00:29:27,817 --> 00:29:30,665 inspire them to lift themselves out of that pit? But you know 632 00:29:30,689 --> 00:29:33,041 what, Courtney? You gave a brilliant answer to that 633 00:29:33,097 --> 00:29:35,921 already. Do you have anything to add to that before I turn the 634 00:29:35,937 --> 00:29:37,253 mic over to Michael? 635 00:29:37,328 --> 00:29:40,181 >> Courtney Allison: I think that the one thing that I will. I want 636 00:29:40,197 --> 00:29:43,197 to make sure that we, we call out. If you're struggling 637 00:29:43,245 --> 00:29:45,413 right now, find a 638 00:29:45,453 --> 00:29:48,237 counselor and make sure you. I 639 00:29:48,285 --> 00:29:51,101 always tell Michael that counseling is like dating 640 00:29:51,157 --> 00:29:54,061 because you have to find the right counselor too. Just don't pick 641 00:29:54,117 --> 00:29:56,957 any counselor. You need to match your counselor with 642 00:29:57,005 --> 00:29:59,759 who you are, what your background is, your cultural 643 00:29:59,791 --> 00:30:02,639 upbringing. That's very important as well. So find 644 00:30:02,671 --> 00:30:05,567 a counselor if you're struggling with it and talk those things 645 00:30:05,615 --> 00:30:08,023 through with the right person that can give you the right 646 00:30:08,063 --> 00:30:08,687 advice. 647 00:30:08,855 --> 00:30:09,711 >> Scot McKay: Michael? 648 00:30:09,887 --> 00:30:12,615 >> Michael Allison: Yeah, I would just add, I would recommend to 649 00:30:12,719 --> 00:30:15,687 any man that's out there that either been divorced 650 00:30:15,735 --> 00:30:18,151 or struggling or try to navigate this relationship 651 00:30:18,207 --> 00:30:21,055 thing is court, you mentioned this first, but 652 00:30:21,079 --> 00:30:23,879 is identify some things and do that soul searching within 653 00:30:23,911 --> 00:30:26,767 yourself and identify who you are, 654 00:30:26,815 --> 00:30:29,279 reclaim yourself, reclaim your masculinity. 655 00:30:29,471 --> 00:30:32,111 And once you step into who you're truly 656 00:30:32,167 --> 00:30:35,007 supposed to be, then so many things 657 00:30:35,055 --> 00:30:37,751 will open up for you because your, your vision 658 00:30:37,807 --> 00:30:40,663 has changed, your perspective has changed, your outlook 659 00:30:40,703 --> 00:30:43,575 have changed, and now you could actually go in 660 00:30:43,599 --> 00:30:46,311 the direction of where you're trying to go with your 661 00:30:46,367 --> 00:30:49,327 relationship now. You'll identify, this is the type of 662 00:30:49,375 --> 00:30:52,303 woman that I'm looking for. This is the type of woman that meets the 663 00:30:52,343 --> 00:30:55,231 standards that I want to be within my life that I 664 00:30:55,247 --> 00:30:57,735 could say, this is something I could go a long term with. 665 00:30:57,879 --> 00:31:00,615 Because we could get so down the rabbit 666 00:31:00,639 --> 00:31:03,517 hole of, falling into the traps of 667 00:31:03,565 --> 00:31:06,525 distractions, drift off of the path of where we're 668 00:31:06,549 --> 00:31:08,073 trying to go in a relationship. 669 00:31:08,413 --> 00:31:11,373 >> Scot McKay: Boom. I think that's Your mic drop. Wonderful, 670 00:31:11,413 --> 00:31:14,397 wonderful conversation, man. We went a lot of places. 671 00:31:14,485 --> 00:31:17,293 Angel fear to tread nowadays when it comes to talking 672 00:31:17,333 --> 00:31:20,165 about relationships. But I want to thank both of you. 673 00:31:20,189 --> 00:31:23,013 You're very inspiring Indeed. And I'm 100% 674 00:31:23,093 --> 00:31:25,189 sure the guys'got a lot out of this 675 00:31:25,221 --> 00:31:27,601 conversation. I want to point these 676 00:31:27,657 --> 00:31:30,488 guys to your website, Michael, which, 677 00:31:30,438 --> 00:31:33,318 is the Adversity Academy where they can find out 678 00:31:33,374 --> 00:31:34,238 more about you. And 679 00:31:34,254 --> 00:31:37,050 that's@mountaintoppodcast.com 680 00:31:37,750 --> 00:31:40,542 Allison with two L'A L L 681 00:31:40,606 --> 00:31:43,582 I S O N. And what are they going to find when they get 682 00:31:43,606 --> 00:31:45,166 to that website, Michael? 683 00:31:45,318 --> 00:31:48,054 >> Michael Allison: Yeah, definitely when they come to the website, they'll have the opportunity 684 00:31:48,102 --> 00:31:50,501 to be a part of my, group coaching, my one on one 685 00:31:50,549 --> 00:31:53,183 coaching, my online personal development 686 00:31:53,295 --> 00:31:56,175 programs called a Break the Bottle. And then also for 687 00:31:56,231 --> 00:31:59,047 our CEOs and executives out there, we do have 688 00:31:59,207 --> 00:32:01,751 leadership development training for our first time 689 00:32:01,799 --> 00:32:04,703 supervisors, middle management supervisors and executive CEOs 690 00:32:04,735 --> 00:32:05,631 too as well. 691 00:32:05,799 --> 00:32:08,727 >> Scot McKay: Yeah, that's something I've come to realize lately as well is that 692 00:32:08,807 --> 00:32:11,359 relationships and business are very similar. 693 00:32:11,463 --> 00:32:14,127 >> Michael Allison: Definitely, Scot. I agree with you man. I think personal development and 694 00:32:14,167 --> 00:32:15,967 professional development do coincide. 695 00:32:16,127 --> 00:32:18,915 >> Scot McKay: Yeah, good stuff. And also, gentlemen, be on the 696 00:32:18,931 --> 00:32:21,723 lookout for the upcoming podcast, Marriage 697 00:32:21,755 --> 00:32:24,587 is Beautiful, hosted by both Michael and Courtney 698 00:32:24,627 --> 00:32:27,347 Allison. Both of you, thank you so much for joining 699 00:32:27,387 --> 00:32:30,011 us today. I think it's been absolutely 700 00:32:30,059 --> 00:32:32,835 valuable and fantastic to have both of you on as a 701 00:32:32,851 --> 00:32:34,219 couple. Thank you again. 702 00:32:34,403 --> 00:32:36,779 >> Michael Allison: It was an absolute pleasure to be here with you, Scot. Thank you, man. 703 00:32:36,843 --> 00:32:39,555 >> Courtney Allison: Yes, thank you so much, Scot. I enjoyed every minute of 704 00:32:39,571 --> 00:32:40,011 it. 705 00:32:40,139 --> 00:32:43,083 >> Scot McKay: Well, both of you are quite welcome. Hope to have you back as your 706 00:32:43,115 --> 00:32:45,970 marriage evolves. When your, podcast is launched, make it a 707 00:32:45,978 --> 00:32:48,028 point to come back and talk to us about that. 708 00:32:48,202 --> 00:32:49,472 >> Courtney Allison: Absolutely, absolutely. 709 00:32:49,584 --> 00:32:51,768 >> Scot McKay: All right, gentlemen, head on over to 710 00:32:51,792 --> 00:32:54,776 mountaintoppodcast.com and check out our 711 00:32:54,816 --> 00:32:57,704 three main sponsors. JoCo, WillInKx, company 712 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,592 origin in Maine, the Keyport, and also, and especially 713 00:33:00,624 --> 00:33:03,360 this time around, Hero soap. Check it out guys. 714 00:33:03,408 --> 00:33:06,328 Hero soap just came out with shampoo and no, they're not 715 00:33:06,352 --> 00:33:09,088 going to send you a bottle of this stuff. They're going toa send you about a 716 00:33:09,192 --> 00:33:12,072 3 inch bar that looks 717 00:33:12,104 --> 00:33:15,068 a lot like soap. And what you do is you put it in your soap dish 718 00:33:15,092 --> 00:33:17,980 in the shower and get your hair wet like you normally do. 719 00:33:18,068 --> 00:33:20,956 And about three swipes of this shampoo bar 720 00:33:20,996 --> 00:33:23,676 on your head and you're going toa lather right up. You're not going to 721 00:33:23,716 --> 00:33:26,660 believe how squeaky clean your hair is going to be. Now listen, 722 00:33:26,708 --> 00:33:29,660 I've had this bar of shampoo. I know it sounds 723 00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:32,652 strange to even say it in my shower for probably three weeks now, 724 00:33:32,684 --> 00:33:35,404 and there's no appreciable difference in the size of the 725 00:33:35,420 --> 00:33:38,348 thing. It's like Willy Wonka's everlasting 726 00:33:38,452 --> 00:33:41,444 Gobstopper, the shampoo edition. Guys, you got 727 00:33:41,460 --> 00:33:44,332 to try this. Not only does it work as advertised 728 00:33:44,444 --> 00:33:47,404 and last that long, it smells great, too. And you can get it in 729 00:33:47,420 --> 00:33:49,956 a bunch of different scents that are all 730 00:33:49,996 --> 00:33:52,964 masculine and none of those things that feminize you. The phthalates 731 00:33:53,020 --> 00:33:55,852 and the parabens and all that nasty stuff that's in that cheap shampoo 732 00:33:55,884 --> 00:33:58,884 you've been using. Give it a try. This is brand new from Hero 733 00:33:58,940 --> 00:34:01,860 Soap, and you can check it out@mountaintoppodcast.com 734 00:34:01,908 --> 00:34:04,180 by clicking the HeroSoap link or go to 735 00:34:04,188 --> 00:34:07,180 mountainoppodcast.com HeroSSoap 736 00:34:07,268 --> 00:34:10,204 Gentlemen, I also want to hear about you, about what you got going on 737 00:34:10,260 --> 00:34:12,996 in your relationships with women and, yes, in your career. Right 738 00:34:13,036 --> 00:34:15,996 now, the first call is absolutely free. You can 739 00:34:16,036 --> 00:34:19,020 schedule that@mountoppodcast.com using the red 740 00:34:19,068 --> 00:34:21,980 button in the upper right hand corner of the website, 741 00:34:22,068 --> 00:34:24,948 especially if you're on a desktop. I think if you're on a mobile, it's front 742 00:34:24,972 --> 00:34:27,860 and center right there at the top. Schedule that call with me for about a 743 00:34:27,868 --> 00:34:30,556 half an hour. We'll talk about what you got going on. I guarantee 744 00:34:30,636 --> 00:34:33,508 results in advance even if you don't do a coaching program with me. 745 00:34:33,532 --> 00:34:36,453 But if you do want to do a coaching program with me, if you think that's a 746 00:34:36,469 --> 00:34:39,429 good fit, we'll put that together as well. All of that 747 00:34:39,477 --> 00:34:40,637 and more is there for 748 00:34:40,661 --> 00:34:43,749 you@mountaintoppodcast.com. 749 00:34:43,877 --> 00:34:46,845 and until I talk to you again real soon, this is Scot McKay from 750 00:34:46,885 --> 00:34:49,365 X&Y Communications in San Antonio, 751 00:34:49,405 --> 00:34:51,505 Texas. Be good out there. 752 00:34:58,085 --> 00:35:00,988 >> Edroy Odem: The, Mountain Top Podcast is produced by EXO and 753 00:35:01,004 --> 00:35:03,892 Y Communications. All rights reserved 754 00:35:03,996 --> 00:35:06,092 worldwide. M Be sure to visit 755 00:35:06,156 --> 00:35:09,708 www.mountaintoppodcast.com 756 00:35:09,844 --> 00:35:12,676 for show notes. And while you're there, sign 757 00:35:12,708 --> 00:35:15,605 up for the free X and Y Communications newsletter. 758 00:35:15,555 --> 00:35:18,507 for men. This is Ed Roy Odom 759 00:35:18,571 --> 00:35:21,155 speaking for the Mountain Top Podcast.