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Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich,

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and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life.

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Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.

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Many years ago, I lived in a one-bedroom condominium.

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As a first time homeowner, I made the rookie mistake of becoming president of the

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Homeowners' Association (HOA), responsible for community rules and regulations,

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guidelines and budgeting.

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The monthly HOA dues were already high when I was elected, and costs were only

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continuing to rise, covering common area expenses such as landscaping,

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pool maintenance, exterior paint, and so on.

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Nobody was happy with how expensive the 

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monthly fees were getting, so I looked for ways to lower them.

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I discovered a portion of the monthly dues was actually paying for

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shared services that the board was technically not allowed to split between the tenants,

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such as cable TV in every unit.

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The residents who didn't own a TV were thrilled to no longer have to

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pay for something they weren't using.

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But the ones who previously benefited from splitting the cost between all the tenants

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were furious about having to suddenly pay more for cable than they did

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before I came along. They sent me death threats in the mail, one resident spit on me

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from his balcony when I walked by,

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yet others praised me for being the best board president they've ever had.

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Whether we're talking about HOA's, a city, state, or country, there is never a ruling

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with which everyone is happy.

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The question is, how can we mindfully respond to what we think is unjust when

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someone else believes it is fair?

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Some people direct their anger toward the lawmakers, others are upset with those who

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voted them into office, and quite a few target their fury at the many people who didn't 

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vote at all when they had the chance.

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When we are emotionally triggered like that,

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we tend to get tunnel vision and only see things from our perspective.

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We feel victimized, outraged, and disempowered.

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Groaning to each other about injustices doesn't bring about a peaceful resolution,

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and hostility is never effective in addressing what we think needs fixing.

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In fact, dwelling on what we believe is unfair

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negatively affects our ability to do anything productive. Complaining drains our energy, 

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amplifies our emotions, and keeps us more 

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focused on the problems than on possible solutions.

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We feel so wronged that our brains actually rationalize irrational behavior, 

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like aggression, when we most need to remain calm and patient.

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The first step is to accept what we stubbornly refuse to acknowledge, 

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which is that life is sometimes unfair.

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Other times, life doesn't move with the same sense of urgency we think it should,

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and every once in a while, it feels as if we are actually going backward, 

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or like the pendulum swings from one extreme to the other.

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When the rug is swept out from under you, it's difficult not to take it personally,

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even when it has nothing to do with you.

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The more deeply I contemplate what I personally consider to be fair,

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the clearer I can see how it may be perceived as unfair to someone else.

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The less right I think I am about anything, the more I can approach everything from a place

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of humble surrender to what is, rather than comparing it to my ideal.

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I'm not suggesting we let go of our ideals,

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only that we loosen the grip on our sense of urgency. After all, patience is not about

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how long you can wait, it's about how well you behave while you're waiting.

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Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless

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and Buddhist Boot Camp.

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For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com,

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where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project,

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watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list.

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We hope you have enjoyed this episode 

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and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions.

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Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏🏼