1 00:00:01,230 --> 00:00:04,400 Welcome to real world, peaceful parenting, a podcast for parents 2 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:07,050 that are tired of yelling, threatening, and punishing their kids. 3 00:00:07,630 --> 00:00:11,719 Join mom and master certified parent coach Lisa Smith, as she gives you 4 00:00:11,790 --> 00:00:15,129 actionable step by step strategies that'll help you transform your 5 00:00:15,129 --> 00:00:17,400 household from chaos to cooperation. 6 00:00:17,819 --> 00:00:18,439 Let's dive in. 7 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:24,340 Welcome, welcome, welcome. 8 00:00:24,340 --> 00:00:25,830 Welcome to today's episode. 9 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:26,720 Okay. 10 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:27,510 Y'all listen to me. 11 00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:30,479 I know every week I say, I'm super excited to be with you here today. 12 00:00:30,910 --> 00:00:32,729 But today I'm triply excited. 13 00:00:32,740 --> 00:00:37,180 I'm excited to be with you, but also my very two special guests. 14 00:00:37,859 --> 00:00:43,130 And today's podcast episode is a real step outside of. 15 00:00:43,589 --> 00:00:47,569 The traditional cadence of real world, peaceful parenting, and a 16 00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:51,309 real step outside of my own comfort zone as I tend to be a little 17 00:00:51,309 --> 00:00:53,339 bit more of a serious person. 18 00:00:53,359 --> 00:00:57,309 But today, y'all today, we got some celebs in the house. 19 00:00:57,660 --> 00:00:59,699 We have ABC parenting. 20 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,849 And if you don't know ABC parenting, you will, by the end of today's 21 00:01:03,850 --> 00:01:07,639 episode, ABC parenting is a hilarious. 22 00:01:08,455 --> 00:01:13,024 I was binging all the videos yesterday on ABC Parenting and it 23 00:01:13,024 --> 00:01:16,175 is an absolutely hilarious take. 24 00:01:16,725 --> 00:01:19,585 on parenting and you got to get yourself over there. 25 00:01:19,985 --> 00:01:20,525 Run. 26 00:01:20,535 --> 00:01:24,785 Do not walk to tick tock and watch the videos. 27 00:01:24,795 --> 00:01:26,294 You are going to bust a gut. 28 00:01:26,355 --> 00:01:28,664 My abs are sore today from laughing. 29 00:01:28,945 --> 00:01:33,405 So with no further ado, I am going to introduce first Stephanie Drake. 30 00:01:33,810 --> 00:01:38,670 Stephanie is the costar of the hit web series, ABC parenting. 31 00:01:38,930 --> 00:01:43,420 She's an actress, writer, producer, and audio book narrator living in L. 32 00:01:43,420 --> 00:01:43,730 A. 33 00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,320 She's a graduate of U. 34 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:45,520 S. 35 00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:45,900 C. 36 00:01:45,909 --> 00:01:49,749 will try not to hold that against her as I am a wildcat over 37 00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:52,410 here, but we'll let that slide. 38 00:01:52,719 --> 00:01:55,030 So, she went to USC school dramatic arts. 39 00:01:55,475 --> 00:01:59,445 And she is most known for her role as Don Draper's ditzy, but lovable 40 00:01:59,445 --> 00:02:03,384 secretary Meredith on the Emmy winning television show, Mad Men. 41 00:02:03,405 --> 00:02:04,955 I think most of you have heard of that. 42 00:02:05,535 --> 00:02:10,445 Most recently Stephanie appeared on ABC's the Goldbergs, and she's got a whole 43 00:02:10,454 --> 00:02:13,055 slew of other credits behind her name. 44 00:02:13,064 --> 00:02:18,014 You can learn more about her, uh, additional appearances, if you'd like 45 00:02:18,044 --> 00:02:23,605 over on that thing called the web, but Stephanie is funny, adorable, amazing. 46 00:02:23,645 --> 00:02:25,374 And I'm thrilled to have her here today. 47 00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:29,660 And then writing shotgun, if you will, with Stephanie is Arthur Meyer. 48 00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:35,410 And Arthur is the creator, writer, and co star of the hit web series, ABC parenting. 49 00:02:35,910 --> 00:02:38,730 Most recently, Arthur was y'all get this. 50 00:02:39,105 --> 00:02:40,065 You ready for this? 51 00:02:40,665 --> 00:02:43,455 Arthur was the head writer for the Drew Barrymore show. 52 00:02:43,495 --> 00:02:44,315 I mean, come on. 53 00:02:44,674 --> 00:02:45,945 I love Drew Barrymore. 54 00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:46,984 I love the show. 55 00:02:47,365 --> 00:02:48,364 It's so cute. 56 00:02:48,465 --> 00:02:48,945 Awesome. 57 00:02:48,945 --> 00:02:49,695 Wonderful. 58 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:54,015 And just really what the world needs right now. 59 00:02:54,385 --> 00:02:59,075 Prior to that, Arthur was the staff writer on the new half hour Amazon 60 00:02:59,105 --> 00:03:01,494 prime sitcom called dinner with parents. 61 00:03:02,155 --> 00:03:04,145 From 2012 to 2019. 62 00:03:04,145 --> 00:03:09,225 He was a writer, sketch, supervising writer and performer with the late night 63 00:03:09,475 --> 00:03:15,115 with Jimmy Fallon, also a funny guy and the tonight show with Jimmy Fallon, and he 64 00:03:15,115 --> 00:03:17,205 was a long time contributor to the onion. 65 00:03:17,694 --> 00:03:20,934 Uh, and he's got a whole slew of other things behind his name as well. 66 00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:24,975 But if we read your bios, we'd be here all day and we wouldn't get to the funny part. 67 00:03:25,245 --> 00:03:26,975 So welcome Arthur and Stephanie. 68 00:03:26,975 --> 00:03:28,245 I'm thrilled to have you here. 69 00:03:28,555 --> 00:03:29,235 Thank you so much. 70 00:03:30,735 --> 00:03:31,045 Yeah. 71 00:03:31,395 --> 00:03:31,955 So great. 72 00:03:32,085 --> 00:03:33,475 So great to have you all here. 73 00:03:33,815 --> 00:03:39,905 So let's talk, introduce us to ABC Parenting, tell the listener how it came 74 00:03:39,905 --> 00:03:45,575 about, what it is and what is your goal in producing this entertainment for us. 75 00:03:46,075 --> 00:03:50,294 So ABC Parenting is a, uh, I suppose you would call maybe 76 00:03:50,294 --> 00:03:52,854 a satirical comedy web series. 77 00:03:53,115 --> 00:03:58,595 Uh, and it's a parenting advice channel, except all of the advice is terrible. 78 00:03:58,595 --> 00:03:58,669 It's terrible. 79 00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:02,880 Um, but the hosts, me and Stephanie, deliver the advice with the 80 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:08,510 confidence of actual, you know, people giving parenting advice. 81 00:04:08,839 --> 00:04:10,640 Um, so it's just a comedy web series. 82 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,180 There are 50 episodes. 83 00:04:12,209 --> 00:04:14,949 We've released about 37 or 38. 84 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:20,379 And I started writing them about two years ago when my wife Kat was, uh, pregnant. 85 00:04:20,950 --> 00:04:25,940 Uh, with our son, Theo, and I would kind of, uh, Google search or 86 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,960 YouTube search, like how to be a dad. 87 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:32,380 Um, and I, I would find, uh, videos, you know, with all kinds of parenting advice. 88 00:04:32,670 --> 00:04:34,439 And I thought, Oh, this is really cool. 89 00:04:34,439 --> 00:04:35,989 There's so much to learn from this. 90 00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,339 Um, what do I have to add to this? 91 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,800 I have nothing actually substantial, but what I can do 92 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,660 is make a comedy version of this. 93 00:04:43,670 --> 00:04:46,539 So I just kind of set out to do that, wanted to make it feel 94 00:04:46,539 --> 00:04:47,949 like a real parenting channel. 95 00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:49,590 That's why there's 50 episodes. 96 00:04:49,869 --> 00:04:54,935 And, uh, I guess the goal is just to, um, You know, reach out to people 97 00:04:54,935 --> 00:04:59,075 who are both our, our target audience is both parents and non parents. 98 00:04:59,345 --> 00:05:01,274 So I think that there's a lot of humor in there. 99 00:05:01,275 --> 00:05:05,875 That's kind of specifically things that parents will really understand topics 100 00:05:05,875 --> 00:05:10,695 that they've read about, you know, baby proofing hacks, you know, breastfeeding 101 00:05:10,705 --> 00:05:12,464 circumcision, things like that. 102 00:05:12,515 --> 00:05:13,945 Um, how to deal with a bully. 103 00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:15,640 How to deal with the bully. 104 00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:19,970 But I also, I tried to write the episodes in a way that would appeal to people 105 00:05:19,970 --> 00:05:24,000 who, uh, you know, don't have kids or aren't interested in that as well. 106 00:05:24,439 --> 00:05:29,040 It's interesting that you say, Stephanie, I want to get your take on this as a mom. 107 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:33,760 It's interesting that Arthur says it's for parents and people who aren't parents. 108 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:38,690 And it immediately reminds me, I was married for 14 years before I had my son. 109 00:05:39,330 --> 00:05:43,760 And, uh, you know, I, I would say that the only perfect parents in the world, 110 00:05:43,770 --> 00:05:48,040 I'd love to get your take on this, are the people that are yet to be parents, right? 111 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:50,609 Absolutely. 112 00:05:50,659 --> 00:05:55,740 There were so many things I swore I would never do as a mom. 113 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:56,690 And guess what? 114 00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:57,930 I do all of them. 115 00:05:58,820 --> 00:05:59,120 Right. 116 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,020 Handing the phone over at dinnertime. 117 00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:02,809 Of course. 118 00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:06,150 Giving the extra cookie 10 minutes before we're about to eat. 119 00:06:06,849 --> 00:06:12,159 Yeah, it's the hardest job in the world and I feel so lucky that 120 00:06:12,189 --> 00:06:17,710 Arthur let me come be a part of his really funny, his funny show. 121 00:06:18,739 --> 00:06:21,580 We didn't know each other before this. 122 00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:23,490 I'm in LA. 123 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,810 He's in New York. 124 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:31,560 We have mutual friends, but after, I think it was shortly after Theo was born, 125 00:06:31,580 --> 00:06:34,779 you and your wife were watching mad men. 126 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:40,820 And he found me on Instagram to tell me how great he thought I was. 127 00:06:41,219 --> 00:06:43,369 And I always love hearing that. 128 00:06:43,859 --> 00:06:46,659 And I was like, Oh my gosh, like this guy just had a kid. 129 00:06:47,729 --> 00:06:48,939 I feel for him. 130 00:06:48,969 --> 00:06:52,510 I think I'm about 10 months ahead of you guys. 131 00:06:53,155 --> 00:06:57,185 Um, and we kind of left it at that. 132 00:06:57,185 --> 00:06:58,905 I was like, congrats on having a baby. 133 00:06:58,905 --> 00:06:59,405 Good luck. 134 00:07:00,255 --> 00:07:02,115 Thank you for reaching out. 135 00:07:02,674 --> 00:07:06,724 And then a whole year passed by and he messaged me again, telling me about 136 00:07:06,724 --> 00:07:08,594 this idea for a show that he had. 137 00:07:09,224 --> 00:07:14,805 And he had asked me originally every episode of our show starts with 138 00:07:14,815 --> 00:07:17,325 a parent asking a real question. 139 00:07:17,885 --> 00:07:19,585 And he asked me to do one of those. 140 00:07:20,595 --> 00:07:21,835 So I did one of those. 141 00:07:21,835 --> 00:07:23,355 I was like, this is such a funny idea. 142 00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:24,905 I can't wait to watch myself. 143 00:07:25,495 --> 00:07:30,645 And a few days later, he came back saying, Hey, the girl that the friend 144 00:07:30,664 --> 00:07:35,944 that I was going to co host this with is actually pregnant and not feeling well. 145 00:07:36,215 --> 00:07:37,734 Do you want to do this with me? 146 00:07:38,274 --> 00:07:40,665 And I was so game. 147 00:07:40,665 --> 00:07:41,795 I was so down to do it. 148 00:07:41,835 --> 00:07:45,935 A week later, I was in New York and we were shooting 50 episodes. 149 00:07:46,145 --> 00:07:46,945 It was a blast. 150 00:07:47,494 --> 00:07:50,475 It was, yeah, we shot 50 episodes in four days. 151 00:07:50,844 --> 00:07:55,994 Um, and all of those, uh, are supplemented by footage that I got from like, you know, 152 00:07:55,995 --> 00:07:58,055 real parent friends of mine, their kids. 153 00:07:58,224 --> 00:08:02,745 Like if you watch episodes, you'll see all kinds of, you know, videos and photos 154 00:08:02,755 --> 00:08:04,355 sent from parents and friends of mine. 155 00:08:04,565 --> 00:08:08,365 But yeah, I just reached out to Stephanie because, uh, when my wife and I were 156 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:13,215 watching Mad Men 15 years behind everyone else, uh, we would see Stephanie 157 00:08:13,215 --> 00:08:15,135 appear as Don Draper's secretary. 158 00:08:15,135 --> 00:08:16,885 And she was so funny in every scene. 159 00:08:17,315 --> 00:08:19,434 Uh, that's why I initially reached out to her. 160 00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:22,185 And then when my friend dropped out, I thought like, who would 161 00:08:22,195 --> 00:08:23,704 be a perfect person for this? 162 00:08:23,724 --> 00:08:27,254 And Stephanie was above and beyond like everything I ever would 163 00:08:27,254 --> 00:08:31,225 have hoped she would be both as a performer and as a person and just 164 00:08:31,225 --> 00:08:33,735 so much more, you know, I hear you. 165 00:08:33,785 --> 00:08:35,145 Well, it works for the two of you. 166 00:08:35,145 --> 00:08:37,025 And I would have never guessed. 167 00:08:37,515 --> 00:08:40,954 That you met through the project, right? 168 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:44,915 I would have thought you two in watching this series. 169 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,685 I would have thought that the 2 of you. 170 00:08:47,155 --> 00:08:48,755 Had been friends since high school. 171 00:08:49,385 --> 00:08:52,155 So that's, that's a, that's quite the compliment, right? 172 00:08:52,155 --> 00:08:57,154 The chemistry is there, uh, and, and the timing between the two of you. 173 00:08:57,155 --> 00:08:57,955 So it's great. 174 00:08:58,534 --> 00:08:59,005 It's great. 175 00:08:59,515 --> 00:09:02,904 So the reason that I wanted to invite Stephanie beyond gushing over 176 00:09:02,904 --> 00:09:07,950 them, Stephanie and Arthur today, Is, I wanted to have a, a serious 177 00:09:07,950 --> 00:09:13,420 but fun pun intended conversation about the importance of humor. 178 00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:18,300 Stephanie touched on it that parenting really is the hardest job we do. 179 00:09:18,540 --> 00:09:21,570 The surgeon general recently would back you up on that, right? 180 00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:23,340 The new report came out saying that. 181 00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:27,930 And he, and he quotes Stephanie directly in the study and saying that 182 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,390 parenting is the hardest job stress. 183 00:09:30,430 --> 00:09:32,300 The parents are feeling stress more than ever. 184 00:09:32,690 --> 00:09:37,429 So it seems timely to talk about the seriousness of bringing humor into 185 00:09:37,429 --> 00:09:42,009 parenting, both from the standpoint of first, I'd like to talk about the 186 00:09:42,010 --> 00:09:46,850 importance of humor and raising a child, and then transition into the 187 00:09:46,850 --> 00:09:51,970 importance of parenting parents, having a sense of humor about parenting. 188 00:09:52,545 --> 00:09:54,705 So those are the two topics that we're going to kind of 189 00:09:54,705 --> 00:09:56,945 tackle today for you, listener. 190 00:09:57,215 --> 00:10:02,344 So take a deep breath, shake it all out, relax your nervous system and jump on this 191 00:10:02,344 --> 00:10:08,105 ride with us for the next few minutes as we discuss this serious topic of humor. 192 00:10:08,645 --> 00:10:13,724 So Arthur, tell us, uh, in what ways do you think humor, I mean, you're 193 00:10:13,725 --> 00:10:15,855 in the business of humor, right? 194 00:10:15,855 --> 00:10:18,485 You've, you've been writing humor for a long time. 195 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,235 in your, in your bio. 196 00:10:21,235 --> 00:10:25,205 So tell us in what ways you think humor contributes to a child's 197 00:10:25,235 --> 00:10:27,805 emotional development and resiliency. 198 00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:33,630 You know, it's interesting because humor is the sort of non tangible quality 199 00:10:33,630 --> 00:10:38,470 that in a way doesn't really lend itself to super practical parenting advice 200 00:10:38,489 --> 00:10:43,560 because it's not really, you can't really list off a steps of like how 201 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:47,120 to exhibit humor, you know, that you would be a robot if you were doing that. 202 00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:48,100 But I think. 203 00:10:48,339 --> 00:10:52,030 What humor is so amazing at is emotional connection. 204 00:10:52,310 --> 00:10:56,789 And I feel like, uh, anytime you find someone really funny, whether 205 00:10:56,789 --> 00:11:00,439 they're a friend of yours or just a, you know, comedian or actor 206 00:11:00,439 --> 00:11:03,640 that you really admire, you know, you're, you're connecting with them. 207 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,809 I mean, there's something about their personality and their 208 00:11:05,809 --> 00:11:08,539 intelligence and just them as a human. 209 00:11:08,795 --> 00:11:09,685 That you're connecting with. 210 00:11:09,685 --> 00:11:15,074 So humor is this kind of sympathetic, uh, thing that we all feel, 211 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:16,235 and it's part of connection. 212 00:11:16,235 --> 00:11:20,164 So I think that that's why it's such an important thing to incorporate, 213 00:11:20,594 --> 00:11:21,545 you know, with your child. 214 00:11:21,545 --> 00:11:24,604 And it could take, you know, an infinite number of forms. 215 00:11:24,604 --> 00:11:28,045 I mean, something that just happened last week with my wife as she started, 216 00:11:28,324 --> 00:11:31,564 and I don't remember how she started doing this, but she started doing a 217 00:11:31,564 --> 00:11:35,724 David Attenborough voice around the house to Do you know David Attenborough? 218 00:11:36,165 --> 00:11:36,424 I do. 219 00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:38,939 Yeah, he's like that guy who like narrate this. 220 00:11:38,980 --> 00:11:39,580 What does he narrate? 221 00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:42,130 Like the Nat Geo docs or something like that. 222 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,119 So she'll just be like, okay, Theo, it's time, time for us to 223 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,949 eat some eggs for breakfast, you know, like that kind of thing. 224 00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:53,429 And it's kind of gotten to the point now where he's is he's pretty much demanding 225 00:11:53,429 --> 00:11:55,400 that she entirely speaks in that voice. 226 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:58,900 So that might be a little bit of a problem. 227 00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:01,810 We'll have to consult ABC Parenting for how to deal with that. 228 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,289 Yeah, she's a victim of her own success. 229 00:12:04,289 --> 00:12:04,329 Right. 230 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,950 Yeah, that's exactly it. 231 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:10,560 She, she, and it's, uh, it's driving her a little bit crazy, but it's 232 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,990 such a, it's such a fun way that they connect with each other. 233 00:12:14,210 --> 00:12:17,800 Um, so that's kind of the main thing that I think humor is, is 234 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,909 good at, you know, is a useful tool. 235 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:24,770 And as you're talking about that, I want to, I, you know, as the real world 236 00:12:24,770 --> 00:12:29,010 peaceful parenting parent co chair, I would say it's so powerful that you 237 00:12:29,010 --> 00:12:32,500 put it like that because connection, I use Brene Brown's definition. 238 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:37,239 It's when the other person feels the word they're seen, heard, and valued. 239 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:37,509 Right. 240 00:12:37,509 --> 00:12:42,649 So, so when we're, when we're connecting through humor, I'm getting 241 00:12:42,649 --> 00:12:44,540 a feel good chemical hit in my brain. 242 00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:46,109 I'm feeling connected to you. 243 00:12:46,139 --> 00:12:51,739 Cooperation, cooperation is more likely to follow connection than compliance, right? 244 00:12:51,739 --> 00:12:54,780 So as a parenting tool, and I can relate to that. 245 00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:56,559 I'm at the other end of the two of you. 246 00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:03,189 I have a 20 year old son who's a sophomore in college and we use a lot of humor. 247 00:13:03,585 --> 00:13:07,955 in our family to drive points home to parent to get points across. 248 00:13:08,035 --> 00:13:09,895 He uses humor with me. 249 00:13:10,225 --> 00:13:15,024 There's a lot of, you know, that's iron sarcastic humor. 250 00:13:15,025 --> 00:13:18,615 We use, there's a lot of memes that go back and forth to, you 251 00:13:18,615 --> 00:13:21,634 know, to punctuate, uh, statements. 252 00:13:21,655 --> 00:13:24,055 And, you know, we're at a point now where. 253 00:13:24,569 --> 00:13:28,000 When he really wants my attention, he'll say something like Lisa, 254 00:13:28,719 --> 00:13:31,050 you know, or woman, listen to me. 255 00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,770 And it's very playful. 256 00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:36,830 And it's the perfect way for us to communicate with each other 257 00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:41,950 as we're transitioning into that adult child parent role. 258 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:42,500 Right. 259 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:47,220 Which is very different than the, you know, role in as a parent, when 260 00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:49,080 you're parenting little, right. 261 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,349 I'm learning how to parent him. 262 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:55,470 And humor is really, I would say a lot of times that the 263 00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:57,460 epicenter of our conversation. 264 00:13:57,460 --> 00:13:58,650 So I love that you. 265 00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:00,760 Talked about emotional connection. 266 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:01,400 That's great. 267 00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:02,360 Yes. 268 00:14:02,390 --> 00:14:02,939 That's great. 269 00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:04,310 Stephanie. 270 00:14:04,330 --> 00:14:05,030 Tell me. 271 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:10,380 Um, How do you balance using humor as again a professional 272 00:14:11,230 --> 00:14:13,219 humorist if that's the right term? 273 00:14:13,609 --> 00:14:17,489 How do you balance using humor with your little one with setting 274 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,450 necessary boundaries and discipline? 275 00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:22,159 Give us some insight into that if you will. 276 00:14:22,619 --> 00:14:23,449 Oh goodness. 277 00:14:23,489 --> 00:14:25,899 I mean, it's, it's challenging, right? 278 00:14:25,919 --> 00:14:28,329 Everything is a balance. 279 00:14:28,759 --> 00:14:36,925 Um, We find my husband and I find that humor and really making things exciting 280 00:14:36,935 --> 00:14:43,935 work works really well with our son to get him to put his pajamas on at night. 281 00:14:43,935 --> 00:14:48,454 I mean, bedtime is always a struggle, but if we make it as fun as, as 282 00:14:48,464 --> 00:14:51,475 humanly possible, it's exactly. 283 00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:53,569 it works. 284 00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:59,819 But then of course, there are those nights after a long day and I find it 285 00:15:00,119 --> 00:15:08,369 the most challenging to keep up the humor and playfulness of parenting after. 286 00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:11,069 And I'm sure everyone can relate in their own way. 287 00:15:11,210 --> 00:15:14,810 But as an actress, I use a lot of those skill sets. 288 00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:16,355 In my work. 289 00:15:16,845 --> 00:15:20,045 So if I have a day where I'm on set or if I have a day when I 290 00:15:20,055 --> 00:15:24,255 have a bunch of auditions I have to do I am spent on the humor. 291 00:15:24,375 --> 00:15:31,885 Like I've been being funny for all day and then I have to also be funny for my kid. 292 00:15:32,545 --> 00:15:33,955 It's hard. 293 00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:39,344 And I think when those times come where it is a serious situation, 294 00:15:39,354 --> 00:15:44,014 we're currently dealing with hitting, there's nothing funny about that. 295 00:15:44,604 --> 00:15:48,235 And we're, you know, we're struggling because I think our go to is to make 296 00:15:48,235 --> 00:15:50,495 things funny and it works well with him. 297 00:15:50,564 --> 00:15:53,605 But then you do have to kind of turn that off when things get. 298 00:15:54,125 --> 00:15:54,765 Serious. 299 00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:58,255 Um, it's, it's a work in progress. 300 00:15:58,615 --> 00:15:58,875 Yeah. 301 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:02,814 I love that though, because you hit on a fundamental thing I teach, 302 00:16:02,835 --> 00:16:06,374 which is the kids are hardwired for two things and only two things. 303 00:16:06,785 --> 00:16:10,304 And the first one is getting their needs met their core basic needs, right? 304 00:16:10,305 --> 00:16:14,165 Attention, affection, appreciation, acceptance, autonomy, and connection. 305 00:16:14,585 --> 00:16:18,615 And the second one I tell parents all the time is F U N. 306 00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,235 And that's it, right? 307 00:16:20,235 --> 00:16:22,475 That's why a five year old or a nine year old. 308 00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:25,700 Or even a 15 year old can't move out and live on their own 309 00:16:26,030 --> 00:16:27,440 because they're hardwired for fun. 310 00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:29,360 The prefrontal cortex isn't developed. 311 00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:34,350 So when you use that humor, you know, a lot of times parents will want to say, 312 00:16:34,890 --> 00:16:38,639 you know, well, well, Stephanie, we've played all day and now it is time to 313 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,319 pick up the toys and clean up the room. 314 00:16:40,319 --> 00:16:41,870 And kids don't care about that. 315 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:42,110 Right. 316 00:16:42,140 --> 00:16:46,040 But if you can make cleaning up a part of the fun or getting 317 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,850 the pajamas on a race or right. 318 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:52,100 The more you can bring fun into your parenting. 319 00:16:52,610 --> 00:16:57,290 What I like to think of is the 20 percent of the time where we have to say, no, it's 320 00:16:57,290 --> 00:17:02,060 time to go to bed or don't run out in the street, or they will listen to us because 321 00:17:02,090 --> 00:17:05,130 we haven't been commanding them all day. 322 00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:10,660 We've been connecting on a fun level, even when you get home from work and are tired. 323 00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:11,719 Yeah. 324 00:17:11,719 --> 00:17:15,310 And to give another example, this is something that we've been doing recently 325 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:20,690 to pretty decent success is, um, trying to get my son to eat vegetables. 326 00:17:20,690 --> 00:17:20,709 Okay. 327 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:25,290 You know, he's naturally like every human on the planet, not super inclined 328 00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:27,150 to really wanting to eat vegetables. 329 00:17:27,390 --> 00:17:31,200 So what we started to do is, you know, he'll be in front of his 330 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,770 carrots and we'll just say, whatever you do, don't eat the carrot. 331 00:17:35,070 --> 00:17:38,059 And he's, and then looks at me and then he picks up the carrot. 332 00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:39,179 I go, no, no, no, don't eat it. 333 00:17:39,179 --> 00:17:39,659 Don't eat it. 334 00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:44,629 And he puts it in his mouth and I go, no, I can't believe it. 335 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,024 And he gets such a big kick out of this. 336 00:17:47,335 --> 00:17:49,205 But the key thing is he ate the carrot. 337 00:17:49,205 --> 00:17:51,845 Now, some might call that manipulation. 338 00:17:51,845 --> 00:17:53,355 I prefer to call it humor though. 339 00:17:54,325 --> 00:17:55,575 Humor manipulation. 340 00:17:55,585 --> 00:17:56,345 It's a fine line. 341 00:17:56,445 --> 00:17:57,325 Don't we all agree? 342 00:17:57,775 --> 00:17:58,325 Yeah. 343 00:17:59,305 --> 00:17:59,665 Right. 344 00:18:00,235 --> 00:18:00,805 Okay. 345 00:18:00,855 --> 00:18:03,135 I'd love to get both of your takes on this. 346 00:18:03,394 --> 00:18:06,874 What advice would you give to parents who might feel uncomfortable 347 00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:09,604 or unfamiliar with using humor? 348 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,420 In their parenting approach. 349 00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:13,530 Obviously, you're both naturally funny. 350 00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:16,560 You've also worked at the skill of being funny, right? 351 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,780 It's your profession. 352 00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:22,030 In some regards, you know how to switch into a role, but just thinking, 353 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,639 given all that experience, right? 354 00:18:23,639 --> 00:18:28,190 As Malcolm Gladwell would say, you're 10, 000 hours into your skill development. 355 00:18:28,590 --> 00:18:30,830 If I was a parent, maybe I'm a new parent. 356 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,930 Maybe I lean more toward the serious side. 357 00:18:33,310 --> 00:18:35,170 How do I bring humor? 358 00:18:35,825 --> 00:18:39,805 Other than binge watching every ABC parenting video 359 00:18:39,835 --> 00:18:42,125 out there, which is a must. 360 00:18:42,475 --> 00:18:46,015 In addition to that, how would you guide someone into bringing 361 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,494 humor into the parenting? 362 00:18:47,904 --> 00:18:51,075 I think it's easy to confuse humor with being funny. 363 00:18:51,125 --> 00:18:53,545 I don't really think that they're exactly the same thing. 364 00:18:53,605 --> 00:18:56,195 I think it's kind of a lot of pressure to ask every parent. 365 00:18:56,405 --> 00:18:57,965 You know, to be funny with their kid. 366 00:18:58,255 --> 00:19:01,535 I think as I was saying before, humor is kind of a form of connection. 367 00:19:01,985 --> 00:19:07,454 So I think it's kind of just, uh, taking a cue from your child and doing something 368 00:19:07,455 --> 00:19:10,215 that in improv, there's a term called yes. 369 00:19:10,255 --> 00:19:13,044 And it's basically the idea of. 370 00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:16,550 You're in a scene with someone and, uh, you know, they say, 371 00:19:16,550 --> 00:19:17,920 Hey, I'd like to buy a bagel. 372 00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:20,370 And if you, yes, and them, then that kind of means that 373 00:19:20,370 --> 00:19:22,230 you're accepting their reality. 374 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,350 And you'll, you know, now maybe you're the person who works in the bagel shop. 375 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:25,630 Okay. 376 00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:27,030 Well, we have this big on this bagel. 377 00:19:27,289 --> 00:19:28,530 You kind of do that with your kid. 378 00:19:28,539 --> 00:19:32,709 You sort of take a cue from them of like, what is something that is fun to them? 379 00:19:33,009 --> 00:19:36,349 If there's something that they're kind of enjoying, you basically just kind of 380 00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:41,730 like hop on board with them and just go for that ride and just indulge them in. 381 00:19:42,165 --> 00:19:44,034 wherever their imagination is leading. 382 00:19:44,034 --> 00:19:45,745 So it doesn't actually require you to be funny. 383 00:19:45,745 --> 00:19:47,745 It just requires you to kind of, yes. 384 00:19:47,774 --> 00:19:52,844 And whatever the thing is that they're interested in, if that makes sense. 385 00:19:53,074 --> 00:19:54,094 Ah, I love that. 386 00:19:54,094 --> 00:19:56,094 I love that distinction too, between. 387 00:19:56,725 --> 00:19:59,235 Because being funny feels like a lot of pressure. 388 00:19:59,314 --> 00:19:59,975 Yes. 389 00:20:00,054 --> 00:20:02,595 Especially those of us that are not naturally funny. 390 00:20:03,165 --> 00:20:03,594 Right. 391 00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:07,975 So even for me, it always is pressure to feel like a need to be funny. 392 00:20:07,975 --> 00:20:10,465 I do not thrive under those circumstances. 393 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:18,224 Playing along with the humor sounds easy and doable at any stage, at 394 00:20:18,224 --> 00:20:21,774 any age, no matter how many kids you have, how old they are, just. 395 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,695 Indulge in that and play along a little bit. 396 00:20:25,155 --> 00:20:25,605 I love it. 397 00:20:25,705 --> 00:20:27,475 Okay, Stephanie, what would be your advice? 398 00:20:28,625 --> 00:20:30,655 Um, I mean that was great advice, Arthur. 399 00:20:30,655 --> 00:20:34,425 I don't know if I have much more to give than that, but you know, I 400 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:39,330 Thinking about just our day yesterday, you know, the weekends are tough. 401 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:44,950 We get out of our normal weekday routine and we're a little more lenient 402 00:20:44,950 --> 00:20:46,660 on bedtime and things like that. 403 00:20:46,709 --> 00:20:50,649 So by, you know, four o'clock on a Sunday, we're pretty 404 00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:54,229 spent, but it takes so little. 405 00:20:54,239 --> 00:20:55,990 I think that's what we have to remember. 406 00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:01,560 Like it really doesn't take that much for our kids to enjoy being around us. 407 00:21:01,610 --> 00:21:08,584 Like I was just sitting on the floor in my son's room and he was playing 408 00:21:08,584 --> 00:21:13,385 with something and would ask me a question and I just answer very simply 409 00:21:13,385 --> 00:21:17,884 and he thought that was funny, like I, we don't want to feel like we have 410 00:21:17,884 --> 00:21:23,514 to be, yeah, like we have to be on all the time, just being around, I 411 00:21:23,544 --> 00:21:25,044 think, and putting down the devices. 412 00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:31,380 That's huge for us, like giving that one on one connection is everything. 413 00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:34,870 You're undivided, full focus, attention. 414 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:35,990 Yeah. 415 00:21:36,470 --> 00:21:39,670 I think that's such a good point that Stephanie made, is that kids 416 00:21:39,670 --> 00:21:45,029 are, uh, so much more interested in things than adults are. 417 00:21:45,029 --> 00:21:49,540 Just so much more easily You know that because everything is so new to them, 418 00:21:49,810 --> 00:21:53,180 they're giving their attention to so many different things that that's you're 419 00:21:53,180 --> 00:21:55,170 really just kind of following them. 420 00:21:55,179 --> 00:21:59,059 I went when I was a camp counselor, I worked with like seven, eight and nine 421 00:21:59,059 --> 00:22:04,369 year old kids, and it was just so fun and easy to kind of joke around with them 422 00:22:04,689 --> 00:22:05,950 because you're just taking their lead. 423 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,900 And if and when in doubt, you could just fart and they'll be in hysterics. 424 00:22:09,770 --> 00:22:10,580 That always will work. 425 00:22:11,260 --> 00:22:14,280 There is no kid who does not find farting funny. 426 00:22:14,725 --> 00:22:17,915 I don't know if there's any humans who don't find farting funny. 427 00:22:18,305 --> 00:22:18,935 I agree. 428 00:22:19,155 --> 00:22:22,815 I was at yoga, hot yoga the other day in a very serious class and 429 00:22:22,825 --> 00:22:25,705 someone let one out and you know, you just can't help but chuckle. 430 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:27,485 I mean, it's just funny. 431 00:22:27,525 --> 00:22:28,444 Farts are funny. 432 00:22:28,925 --> 00:22:31,664 Yeah, actually I should, I should promote our episode called how to 433 00:22:31,664 --> 00:22:35,145 fart your baby for anyone who wants to know more about this topic. 434 00:22:35,465 --> 00:22:36,935 Yes, there we go. 435 00:22:37,005 --> 00:22:37,595 There we go. 436 00:22:38,265 --> 00:22:44,899 You know, I do think that humor is a good way as a parent To bring 437 00:22:44,899 --> 00:22:49,120 yourself back to your Children to be more playful to be fully present. 438 00:22:49,129 --> 00:22:54,279 It really is an invitation to be present and to connect with them rather 439 00:22:54,279 --> 00:23:00,180 than sort of phoning it in or being distracted and the beauty of humor. 440 00:23:00,815 --> 00:23:03,335 My husband and I were talking about this last night. 441 00:23:03,855 --> 00:23:05,235 We're empty nesters now. 442 00:23:05,685 --> 00:23:09,404 And I was mentioning to him, or I was explaining to him that you all were 443 00:23:09,405 --> 00:23:11,105 going to come and be on the podcast. 444 00:23:11,565 --> 00:23:15,825 And, and we were talking about some of the fun times we've had over the years 445 00:23:15,854 --> 00:23:21,665 with our son and some of the playful things we did and, and, and the little 446 00:23:21,665 --> 00:23:26,995 routines we had, or the things that we said, you know, the nicknames or, or, um, 447 00:23:27,255 --> 00:23:29,125 we were just reliving a bunch of memories. 448 00:23:29,135 --> 00:23:30,065 It was super fun. 449 00:23:30,735 --> 00:23:31,225 And. 450 00:23:31,719 --> 00:23:35,459 You know, of course, I'm getting as I was reliving the memories getting feel 451 00:23:35,459 --> 00:23:37,989 good chemical hits coming in my brain. 452 00:23:38,449 --> 00:23:38,820 Right? 453 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:45,509 And then I was thinking about how as a parent, when you bring the humor in at 454 00:23:45,509 --> 00:23:49,499 the right time, at the right place, and even the simple stuff, like answering 455 00:23:49,499 --> 00:23:55,180 your kids question or playing a makeup game or farting or, you know, Having 456 00:23:55,180 --> 00:24:00,010 silly nicknames, you're connecting, you're being present and you're helping them 457 00:24:00,030 --> 00:24:06,880 enjoy the experience and make memories and be fully present with you, right? 458 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,380 It's like making deposits. 459 00:24:08,890 --> 00:24:11,690 into an account and everybody wins. 460 00:24:12,190 --> 00:24:14,820 That's also a really good point you make about being in the moment. 461 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:18,100 It is impossible to genuinely laugh at something without 462 00:24:18,110 --> 00:24:19,290 being in the moment, right? 463 00:24:19,620 --> 00:24:23,040 So if anyone could kind of fake laugh and be thinking about something else, 464 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:26,440 but if you're really truly laughing at something, you're in the moment of that. 465 00:24:26,645 --> 00:24:29,584 And that is when I find I enjoy parenting the most is when I'm not 466 00:24:29,584 --> 00:24:34,845 thinking about, you know, life's stressors or work stuff or money stuff, 467 00:24:34,864 --> 00:24:39,694 but just, you know, the, the sheer beauty of, uh, being in the moment and 468 00:24:39,694 --> 00:24:41,524 laughing with, you know, with my son. 469 00:24:42,225 --> 00:24:42,764 Totally. 470 00:24:43,405 --> 00:24:43,915 Yes. 471 00:24:44,064 --> 00:24:44,455 Yeah. 472 00:24:44,899 --> 00:24:49,530 It's the best feeling in the world when you hear them really laugh from their gut. 473 00:24:49,990 --> 00:24:51,060 I crave that. 474 00:24:51,210 --> 00:24:51,530 Yes. 475 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:52,979 I want that all the time. 476 00:24:52,979 --> 00:24:57,240 I know that's not possible, but I love that you and your husband were 477 00:24:57,260 --> 00:24:59,840 able to look back on 20 years of that. 478 00:25:00,550 --> 00:25:02,399 And it's the most beautiful thing ever. 479 00:25:02,790 --> 00:25:04,379 I hope to have that too. 480 00:25:04,780 --> 00:25:05,689 You, you will. 481 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,879 I mean, I just gotta tell you, I love my kid. 482 00:25:09,260 --> 00:25:10,930 I think he's so cool. 483 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:16,460 I, I just, I mean, he's, he's an awesome human. 484 00:25:16,460 --> 00:25:18,340 I can't wait to see what he does in the world. 485 00:25:18,770 --> 00:25:22,810 And he's just so, he's been my greatest teacher. 486 00:25:22,810 --> 00:25:25,310 I talk about this all the time on the podcast. 487 00:25:25,350 --> 00:25:28,210 I mean, he really has been my greatest teacher. 488 00:25:28,210 --> 00:25:30,640 This kid can talk about his feelings. 489 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:31,639 He has boundaries. 490 00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:34,890 He's, you know, he can't, he knows what he wants. 491 00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:36,770 He's not afraid to go after it. 492 00:25:36,810 --> 00:25:40,940 He's a thoughtful person, but doesn't get taken in. 493 00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:46,859 I mean, he is just, he's my greatest body of work and I've done some 494 00:25:46,859 --> 00:25:48,359 really amazing things in my life. 495 00:25:48,889 --> 00:25:50,209 Really amazing things. 496 00:25:50,629 --> 00:25:54,209 There's a lot of products on the market that I've had a hand in developing 497 00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:56,370 and had an incredible career. 498 00:25:56,370 --> 00:26:02,239 And, but this kid is just the connection, the presence, the time spent with them. 499 00:26:02,610 --> 00:26:06,169 I it's my greatest, um, contribution. 500 00:26:06,239 --> 00:26:06,740 I feel. 501 00:26:07,159 --> 00:26:07,919 That's amazing. 502 00:26:07,929 --> 00:26:09,770 And you have so many more years with them too. 503 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,929 So that's just going to continue to grow and develop and other really amazing ways. 504 00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:16,290 You know, the saying is so true. 505 00:26:16,330 --> 00:26:21,520 The days are long and the years are short because it feels like there were days 506 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:26,179 when, you know, work, you work all day and you go home and I have to start my second 507 00:26:26,179 --> 00:26:31,980 job and, you know, if struggle and getting a kid to bed and whatnot, and then boom, 508 00:26:31,989 --> 00:26:35,169 it's just sort of, it flies by, right. 509 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:39,220 And so that, that I think is a great lead into the second part 510 00:26:39,260 --> 00:26:40,310 that we're going to discuss. 511 00:26:40,310 --> 00:26:45,715 Um, Arthur is a big fan of the idea, and I know Stephanie is as well, 512 00:26:45,725 --> 00:26:47,115 that parents need to laugh too. 513 00:26:47,535 --> 00:26:51,605 And he says one of the main reasons he created ABC Parenting is there 514 00:26:51,605 --> 00:26:54,935 are so many parenting channels out there that are awesome, just like 515 00:26:54,935 --> 00:26:56,145 Real World Peaceful Parenting. 516 00:26:56,780 --> 00:27:00,980 But the world could use a little bit more of, let's say, motivation, 517 00:27:00,980 --> 00:27:07,099 prodding and incentive to just really have a sense of humor about parenting. 518 00:27:07,780 --> 00:27:08,190 Right. 519 00:27:08,220 --> 00:27:16,510 And so Arthur created ABC parenting, and I want to just talk about the role of 520 00:27:16,999 --> 00:27:19,110 having a sense of humor about all this. 521 00:27:19,505 --> 00:27:21,805 And how that helps us be a better parent. 522 00:27:22,295 --> 00:27:24,405 Yeah, that's such a good question. 523 00:27:24,465 --> 00:27:27,385 I, I think, um, I guess just, I don't know. 524 00:27:27,385 --> 00:27:31,165 I, I think that there's sort of a chaos that is inherent to 525 00:27:31,165 --> 00:27:33,204 the nature of parenting, right? 526 00:27:33,265 --> 00:27:37,394 There's no, there's no parent ever on earth who has been able to kind of map 527 00:27:37,394 --> 00:27:39,175 out exactly how things are going to work. 528 00:27:39,185 --> 00:27:42,295 And you could read as much as you want to about any given topic. 529 00:27:42,725 --> 00:27:46,385 You know, we, we've read, you know, we read a book about potty training. 530 00:27:46,395 --> 00:27:49,834 You know, we've read books about Like sleeping and there will 531 00:27:49,844 --> 00:27:52,354 still be things that come up that were not covered in the book. 532 00:27:52,674 --> 00:27:56,495 And there's so much advice out there, so much of which is so helpful, but I feel 533 00:27:56,495 --> 00:28:02,015 like a lot of parents can maybe relate to the idea of just, there's almost like two, 534 00:28:02,045 --> 00:28:05,714 there's not, there's like so much advice out there that I think sometimes you just 535 00:28:05,715 --> 00:28:10,115 need to be able to laugh at the chaos of parenting and just how ridiculous it is. 536 00:28:10,570 --> 00:28:14,030 And I think one thing that we try to do with ABC Parenting is we try to 537 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:18,479 present this really bad advice, but be just, be very confident about it. 538 00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:21,080 Like, as I was saying before, delivering it with the confidence 539 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:22,750 of an actual parenting expert. 540 00:28:23,220 --> 00:28:25,079 Um, but all of our ideas are bad. 541 00:28:25,399 --> 00:28:28,279 And I, I think our goal there is to just hopefully let parents kind of 542 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,119 like, just be like, oh yeah, it's okay. 543 00:28:31,650 --> 00:28:34,110 You don't need to be perfect with everything. 544 00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:37,690 Like all of this stuff is kind of ridiculous and we're all just 545 00:28:37,700 --> 00:28:41,479 kind of making it up, you know, as we're going along, like, you 546 00:28:41,479 --> 00:28:42,790 know, there's no real adults. 547 00:28:42,790 --> 00:28:47,070 I mean, I, I, I can't speak for Stephanie, but I've never personally felt like 548 00:28:47,930 --> 00:28:52,370 paternal in the way that I looked up to as my dad when I was a kid or my mom, when 549 00:28:52,370 --> 00:28:54,330 I was a kid, I'd feel like just a person. 550 00:28:54,659 --> 00:28:59,100 Who happens to be a parent, you know, . So to me it always makes me feel a lot 551 00:28:59,100 --> 00:29:04,139 of comfort when I talk to other friends who share in some of the same, uh, you 552 00:29:04,139 --> 00:29:07,979 know, like funny aspects of parenting or difficult aspects of parenting. 553 00:29:08,249 --> 00:29:10,590 But we just all need a breather as parents, right? 554 00:29:10,889 --> 00:29:14,129 Like we just all need to like take our minds away from the actual 555 00:29:14,129 --> 00:29:16,529 advice for a little bit, you know? 556 00:29:16,940 --> 00:29:17,450 Yes. 557 00:29:17,450 --> 00:29:18,260 And I would say. 558 00:29:19,290 --> 00:29:25,129 The reason, you know, the books and the podcasts and everything doesn't work 559 00:29:25,129 --> 00:29:29,320 to a T is because we're in relationship with these other living organisms. 560 00:29:29,819 --> 00:29:32,380 And we're constantly growing and developing. 561 00:29:32,410 --> 00:29:35,010 And so it's, it's not static. 562 00:29:35,060 --> 00:29:37,170 I mean, that's the good news, bad news, right? 563 00:29:37,179 --> 00:29:41,850 So if you screw up, I mean, the official mantra of real world, peaceful parenting 564 00:29:41,850 --> 00:29:43,999 is progress over perfection, right? 565 00:29:43,999 --> 00:29:48,769 So the great news is if you screw up, you get it wrong, and you can laugh. 566 00:29:49,225 --> 00:29:52,305 And regroup, then you just begin again. 567 00:29:52,945 --> 00:29:57,005 And for some people, humor is the. 568 00:29:57,630 --> 00:30:01,310 Activity that can take the edge off the shame, the blame, the guilt, 569 00:30:01,740 --> 00:30:06,600 and just bring you back to center point to begin and dry again. 570 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:12,129 And so those people should go straight to ABC parenting and, and get a laugh or 571 00:30:12,129 --> 00:30:14,610 two and be like, Oh yeah, right, right. 572 00:30:14,630 --> 00:30:15,489 This is all. 573 00:30:15,990 --> 00:30:19,660 A big experiment, the 18 year experiment where you don't collect 574 00:30:19,670 --> 00:30:21,910 any data until years later. 575 00:30:21,910 --> 00:30:22,320 Right. 576 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:24,980 Let me just regroup and begin again. 577 00:30:25,610 --> 00:30:25,800 Yeah. 578 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:30,449 And it's not just, and it's not just parenting that we need a breather from. 579 00:30:30,449 --> 00:30:36,549 I mean, I love ABC parenting life in general is just, it's hard. 580 00:30:36,559 --> 00:30:41,620 There's so many scary things happening out there that we're constantly being shoved. 581 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:48,630 In our face and there's, besides just like the world drama, there's a lot 582 00:30:48,630 --> 00:30:56,280 of sad TV shows that we watch and you know, sometimes we just need a pick me 583 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:59,510 up and I fully believe that laughter. 584 00:30:59,950 --> 00:31:00,930 can cure all. 585 00:31:01,230 --> 00:31:02,810 They say it's the best medicine. 586 00:31:03,420 --> 00:31:07,950 And my goal in life is to spread that to everyone. 587 00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:09,610 I think it makes everyone happier. 588 00:31:10,319 --> 00:31:11,120 I love that. 589 00:31:11,530 --> 00:31:12,140 I love that. 590 00:31:12,190 --> 00:31:16,840 Yeah, I definitely think humor can help parents cope, you know, with 591 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,829 the pressures and the expectations. 592 00:31:19,410 --> 00:31:24,860 And also a reminder to put everything down and focus on our kids. 593 00:31:24,860 --> 00:31:29,090 You know, they're not something, they're not a side hustle to fit into our life. 594 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:33,080 You know, when we take on the responsibility of raising kids, we 595 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,739 need to give them our attention. 596 00:31:36,049 --> 00:31:40,290 And that's the number one core need of kids is attention. 597 00:31:41,210 --> 00:31:47,270 And, you know, a lot of times humor can be the connecting piece 598 00:31:47,310 --> 00:31:48,590 to give them that attention. 599 00:31:48,630 --> 00:31:49,620 A dance party. 600 00:31:50,085 --> 00:31:55,755 a silly dance party, singing out loud, uh, you know, doing hand clapping games, 601 00:31:56,305 --> 00:31:58,125 telling jokes, knock, knock jokes. 602 00:31:58,165 --> 00:32:01,245 I mean, my gosh, who doesn't love dad jokes, right? 603 00:32:01,265 --> 00:32:02,664 Because they're so bad. 604 00:32:03,004 --> 00:32:04,975 You know, my, my husband has these four or five. 605 00:32:05,605 --> 00:32:09,625 Go to jokes and he'll tell them one at a time to my son. 606 00:32:09,625 --> 00:32:12,915 And my son's just like, dad, but we're all laughing. 607 00:32:13,515 --> 00:32:19,385 Oh, they're so corny and so old, but you're laughing over them and connecting. 608 00:32:20,055 --> 00:32:21,574 Yes, that's totally true. 609 00:32:21,604 --> 00:32:24,674 And by the way, for any people who are about to become parents 610 00:32:24,674 --> 00:32:28,345 or who are new parents, uh, especially dads, you will find that. 611 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:32,550 Your humor will slowly start to bend towards dad humor, 612 00:32:32,550 --> 00:32:33,990 whether you want it to or not. 613 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,010 So I just want to issue that warning. 614 00:32:37,530 --> 00:32:38,070 No way. 615 00:32:38,070 --> 00:32:38,634 It's inevitable. 616 00:32:38,634 --> 00:32:39,749 No way to avoid it. 617 00:32:39,750 --> 00:32:40,500 Inevitable. 618 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:44,179 You're going to start making more puns around the house, puns that you don't even 619 00:32:44,180 --> 00:32:48,639 like as you're saying them out loud, but you have to say them because you're a dad. 620 00:32:48,909 --> 00:32:49,249 Right? 621 00:32:49,259 --> 00:32:50,899 Like why is six mad at seven? 622 00:32:51,395 --> 00:32:51,895 Yes. 623 00:32:52,165 --> 00:32:55,625 Suddenly that becomes an important joke in your armamentarium. 624 00:32:56,105 --> 00:32:57,295 Yes, exactly. 625 00:32:59,935 --> 00:33:01,915 Stephanie, what happens when you become a mom? 626 00:33:01,975 --> 00:33:04,475 What advice would you have for new moms? 627 00:33:05,455 --> 00:33:08,725 That's a good question because I'm, I'm actually super curious about like, that 628 00:33:08,725 --> 00:33:13,265 seems like, I mean, I, at least even just as a dad and I feel like it's much 629 00:33:13,265 --> 00:33:16,675 more exhausting when you're starting out as a mom, when your kid is first born. 630 00:33:16,675 --> 00:33:21,340 But I remember That was a time when I'm like, it's pretty hard to find humor and 631 00:33:21,340 --> 00:33:25,920 stuff, but like, just, just because you're so exhausted, but I'm curious what your 632 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:31,960 experience is like since becoming a mom, especially those first couple of months 633 00:33:32,460 --> 00:33:37,630 and even years, it's really Sometimes hard to find the humor in the situation. 634 00:33:37,660 --> 00:33:38,990 Everything is so new. 635 00:33:39,580 --> 00:33:43,310 Everything is so, I don't, there's something that happens when you 636 00:33:43,310 --> 00:33:48,659 push out a baby that you have to be like teaching them things and 637 00:33:48,970 --> 00:33:53,249 making sure they know their ABCs right away, um, to get ahead in life. 638 00:33:53,649 --> 00:33:58,149 And I don't know what that is, but it just happens innately. 639 00:33:58,330 --> 00:34:01,155 Um, Much like the puns in dads. 640 00:34:01,505 --> 00:34:06,355 So you've got to like, you've got to just like step back and yeah, take a breath. 641 00:34:06,805 --> 00:34:13,085 And, and one thing that I'm always telling myself and reminding myself is to remember 642 00:34:13,085 --> 00:34:18,294 what it was like when I was that little and finding the play and the humor. 643 00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:23,745 In that and knowing reminding myself that especially right now, my son 644 00:34:23,745 --> 00:34:28,824 is three and I'm loving this age so much and it's so much fun while 645 00:34:28,824 --> 00:34:30,825 it has its like own challenges. 646 00:34:31,575 --> 00:34:33,355 Like I know I'm gonna miss this phase. 647 00:34:34,275 --> 00:34:38,495 I wouldn't say I'm missing the newborn phase, but I'm going to miss this phase. 648 00:34:38,505 --> 00:34:41,335 So I'm really trying to soak it all up as much as I can. 649 00:34:41,754 --> 00:34:42,344 Yeah. 650 00:34:42,845 --> 00:34:45,005 So let's talk about this. 651 00:34:45,034 --> 00:34:49,184 I think you two could give our listeners some great advice. 652 00:34:49,185 --> 00:34:50,385 One of the things. 653 00:34:51,415 --> 00:34:57,905 That comes up a lot, uh, in the people I work with is we all often, and it's 654 00:34:57,905 --> 00:34:59,215 part of the human condition, right? 655 00:34:59,215 --> 00:35:02,725 If you understand neuroscience, now we're going to get deep into some 656 00:35:02,725 --> 00:35:04,315 science here, but we'll tag it back. 657 00:35:04,555 --> 00:35:06,394 Arthur looks scared to death, but I promise it's going 658 00:35:06,395 --> 00:35:07,714 to relate back to humor. 659 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:09,600 I never did well in science. 660 00:35:09,910 --> 00:35:10,240 Yeah. 661 00:35:10,530 --> 00:35:14,140 One of the things that happens a lot is we feel judged, right? 662 00:35:14,140 --> 00:35:17,570 We're out with the three year old and he's having a meltdown in aisle six of 663 00:35:17,570 --> 00:35:24,219 target, or we're at church and our kid won't sit still, or we're at a wedding 664 00:35:24,219 --> 00:35:28,900 and our kid is running around, or he's clinging to us at preschool drop off. 665 00:35:28,930 --> 00:35:36,420 And oftentimes the cycle is I look over and I see eyes on me and I immediately 666 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,470 feel judged and then I want to get triggered and start storming in a 667 00:35:40,470 --> 00:35:43,540 negative way alongside my child, right? 668 00:35:43,550 --> 00:35:48,249 And that's where oftentimes the dominant or the permissive parenting 669 00:35:48,259 --> 00:35:49,859 at either extreme will come out. 670 00:35:50,139 --> 00:35:53,680 We're giving into the toy because we feel judged and aisle six, the target, 671 00:35:53,950 --> 00:35:58,900 or we're giving the cookie because, uh, you know, we don't want to feel 672 00:35:58,900 --> 00:36:02,280 the eyes on us at the restaurant or we're handing over the cell phone. 673 00:36:02,650 --> 00:36:06,790 Or we're like grabbing, gripping our child's arm and like 674 00:36:06,790 --> 00:36:09,310 dragging away stuff right now. 675 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:09,820 Right. 676 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:14,550 So I think a reminder to the listener, this is one of the greatest 677 00:36:14,550 --> 00:36:19,119 places that you can just bring some humor about the situation. 678 00:36:19,130 --> 00:36:24,410 And even inside your mind, like, yep, it's having a meltdown and aisle six, the 679 00:36:24,430 --> 00:36:27,110 target, ladies and gentlemen, come watch. 680 00:36:27,845 --> 00:36:34,255 You know, like just alleviating the pressure a little bit with a funny thought 681 00:36:34,285 --> 00:36:39,935 or, yeah, I remember one time the three of us, our family, we were on an airplane 682 00:36:40,424 --> 00:36:44,935 flying somewhere, obviously flying cause you fly on an airplane and my son had 683 00:36:44,935 --> 00:36:46,815 a blowout up the back of the diaper. 684 00:36:46,874 --> 00:36:50,275 I mean, just a volcanic blowout. 685 00:36:50,345 --> 00:36:51,365 And it's like. 686 00:36:51,775 --> 00:36:54,975 everywhere and I have clothes for him, but not me. 687 00:36:55,025 --> 00:36:55,925 I'm holding him. 688 00:36:56,375 --> 00:36:58,025 I tried to get up to go to the bathroom. 689 00:36:58,025 --> 00:37:01,435 The flight attendant is yelling at me to sit down and I'm looking 690 00:37:01,435 --> 00:37:02,714 at her like, do you see me? 691 00:37:03,074 --> 00:37:03,885 Do you see him? 692 00:37:04,245 --> 00:37:05,505 I'm not going to go sit back down. 693 00:37:05,785 --> 00:37:06,105 Right. 694 00:37:06,125 --> 00:37:11,194 And, and just like, I remember like just thinking you got to laugh at this Lisa. 695 00:37:11,394 --> 00:37:13,624 You gotta give it a little chuckle. 696 00:37:14,164 --> 00:37:14,404 Yeah. 697 00:37:14,404 --> 00:37:18,715 That's the thing is that you really have no, Choice in a moment like that. 698 00:37:18,745 --> 00:37:21,625 So you like, this is an actual true story that happened to me recently. 699 00:37:21,625 --> 00:37:24,505 We were on a flight and it was pretty long flight. 700 00:37:24,535 --> 00:37:27,835 And my son, Theo, you know, he was. 701 00:37:28,625 --> 00:37:32,755 I can't remember if he was crying or just being loud or something. 702 00:37:32,825 --> 00:37:36,365 I think he was maybe crying while I was trying to help him. 703 00:37:36,415 --> 00:37:39,455 There was someone sitting nearby who kind of gave me an eye roll 704 00:37:39,465 --> 00:37:43,035 like a very visible, you know, like, Oh, you're one of those. 705 00:37:43,174 --> 00:37:44,395 Yes, exactly. 706 00:37:44,405 --> 00:37:46,275 And I didn't know what to do or say. 707 00:37:46,275 --> 00:37:50,345 And what ended up coming out of my mouth was just, Hey, you were a baby, too, dude. 708 00:37:51,125 --> 00:37:55,205 And for whatever reason, that kind of defused the situation where it's just like 709 00:37:55,205 --> 00:37:57,875 there's kind of nothing you can Really do. 710 00:37:57,895 --> 00:38:01,215 You have to just sort of let it pass and just be like, eh, whatever 711 00:38:01,225 --> 00:38:03,135 this stuff happens, it's okay. 712 00:38:03,585 --> 00:38:08,825 You know, I mean, I'm doing it to give everybody around him a hard time. 713 00:38:08,835 --> 00:38:10,315 He's having a hard time. 714 00:38:10,615 --> 00:38:11,485 Yeah, exactly. 715 00:38:11,525 --> 00:38:12,155 Yeah. 716 00:38:12,285 --> 00:38:17,194 I feel like I've become less judgmental of other parents since becoming a mom. 717 00:38:17,225 --> 00:38:22,004 I mean, I'm sure, um, everyone feels maybe everyone feels that way. 718 00:38:22,615 --> 00:38:25,585 Like if I see a kid melting down, I'm like, Oh my God. 719 00:38:25,605 --> 00:38:28,025 Like I feel, yeah, we've all been there. 720 00:38:28,175 --> 00:38:29,325 Same on an airplane. 721 00:38:29,855 --> 00:38:33,025 I mean, obviously not everyone is a parent, but. 722 00:38:33,655 --> 00:38:39,545 just knowing that when it happens to me, I try not to take it like 723 00:38:40,325 --> 00:38:46,145 Yes, so seriously, like if I get a look from somebody like Whatever. 724 00:38:46,215 --> 00:38:50,044 I mean, yeah, there's nothing you can really do about it Also, I do think 725 00:38:50,044 --> 00:38:54,785 like it's important to just remember to like pick your battles Like when 726 00:38:54,785 --> 00:38:59,444 you're are in a grocery store and your kid is screaming like I don't know 727 00:38:59,475 --> 00:39:03,265 Sometimes it is just easier to give them the cookie and then you fix the 728 00:39:03,265 --> 00:39:07,790 problem later Like if you don't want to deal with the meltdown There's only so 729 00:39:07,790 --> 00:39:09,910 many, so much you can handle in a day. 730 00:39:09,990 --> 00:39:10,260 Yeah. 731 00:39:12,180 --> 00:39:14,310 Sometimes I just need some, some breathing room. 732 00:39:14,740 --> 00:39:19,000 I would also, I would also argue by the way that, um, uh, the majority of 733 00:39:19,070 --> 00:39:23,150 airplane meltdowns now are happening with adults more so than babies. 734 00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:25,240 That's a whole different podcast. 735 00:39:25,650 --> 00:39:29,639 I'm staying regulated, staying regulated. 736 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:29,800 Right. 737 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,500 That's a whole different topic. 738 00:39:32,510 --> 00:39:35,434 You know, here at real world peaceful parenting, we designated, you know, 739 00:39:35,575 --> 00:39:38,165 2024 as the year of self regulation. 740 00:39:38,545 --> 00:39:40,345 So many podcast episodes. 741 00:39:40,950 --> 00:39:46,190 Because I mean, all joking aside, if you want your child to be regulated, 742 00:39:46,210 --> 00:39:48,440 you have to model regulation for them. 743 00:39:48,830 --> 00:39:50,440 Kids don't, they aren't born with it. 744 00:39:50,620 --> 00:39:52,090 It's not an innate skill. 745 00:39:52,189 --> 00:39:55,250 It's learned and they don't do what we say they do what we do. 746 00:39:55,559 --> 00:39:56,059 Right. 747 00:39:56,070 --> 00:39:58,550 So, so if you want your, yes. 748 00:39:59,085 --> 00:40:03,795 Most of the meltdowns are, are from us parents and yet we're stunned 749 00:40:04,005 --> 00:40:05,315 that our kids are melting down. 750 00:40:05,345 --> 00:40:08,355 So it's like, I'm not surprised, right? 751 00:40:08,355 --> 00:40:12,715 If you know, if your kid is melting down, it's probably because it's been 752 00:40:12,715 --> 00:40:14,805 modeled for him in the home or her. 753 00:40:15,295 --> 00:40:20,055 And so step one always is to learn to regulate ourselves so that 754 00:40:20,055 --> 00:40:21,675 we can model it for our kids. 755 00:40:22,110 --> 00:40:22,330 Yeah. 756 00:40:22,340 --> 00:40:23,180 That's such a good point. 757 00:40:23,610 --> 00:40:24,060 Yeah. 758 00:40:24,170 --> 00:40:25,880 Another funny airplane story. 759 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:27,950 One time Dave and I were on an airplane. 760 00:40:28,260 --> 00:40:31,379 I think Malcolm might've been there too, but he was older and 761 00:40:31,379 --> 00:40:33,140 this family comes down the aisle. 762 00:40:33,555 --> 00:40:38,345 And in the surrounding periphery, and I'm passing this out as a tip for all 763 00:40:38,345 --> 00:40:43,114 of us, this mom coming down the aisle is handing all of us around her a little 764 00:40:43,125 --> 00:40:47,325 baggie and there's a little note and there's candy and earplugs inside. 765 00:40:47,354 --> 00:40:51,455 And the little note says, like, hey, my name is Joshua and I'm 3 766 00:40:51,485 --> 00:40:53,245 and this is my 1st airplane ride. 767 00:40:53,515 --> 00:40:54,695 And I might cry. 768 00:40:54,910 --> 00:40:58,340 And my mom might cry, so I'm just going to go ahead in advance and 769 00:40:58,350 --> 00:41:01,070 ask for some grace and kindness. 770 00:41:01,090 --> 00:41:06,160 And my mom's packed you earplugs in case it's too much and some snacks for 771 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:10,350 you, hopefully to help you just relax while I'm screaming the entire flight. 772 00:41:10,735 --> 00:41:12,845 And it was the cutest idea ever. 773 00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:17,195 I mean, what a way, you know, to use some humor to nip that in the bud 774 00:41:17,205 --> 00:41:19,734 and just predict what might happen. 775 00:41:19,765 --> 00:41:25,334 And, and, and the entire grouping around us, everybody was so sweet 776 00:41:25,334 --> 00:41:29,084 when the kids started crying because they'd used humor to sort of, you 777 00:41:29,085 --> 00:41:30,835 know, squelch it on the front end. 778 00:41:30,835 --> 00:41:32,605 I thought I've always remembered that. 779 00:41:32,605 --> 00:41:34,095 And I thought it was a great idea. 780 00:41:34,460 --> 00:41:35,490 That is such a good idea. 781 00:41:35,490 --> 00:41:37,190 Humor and candy, you said, right? 782 00:41:37,460 --> 00:41:40,400 Well, yes, candy does fix many things in life, right? 783 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:43,400 Candy fixes many problems. 784 00:41:43,590 --> 00:41:48,360 We may not agree on which candy, but we all probably have a candy that fixes 785 00:41:48,810 --> 00:41:52,420 breakups, heartaches, disappointments, you know, the whole nine yards. 786 00:41:53,185 --> 00:41:53,905 100%. 787 00:41:53,985 --> 00:41:54,435 Yes. 788 00:41:54,885 --> 00:41:55,285 Okay. 789 00:41:55,285 --> 00:41:58,905 Anything else you want our listener to hear about humor before we wrap up and 790 00:41:58,905 --> 00:42:00,355 tell them where they can find you guys? 791 00:42:00,895 --> 00:42:01,645 I don't think so. 792 00:42:01,645 --> 00:42:05,354 I think, uh, I feel like we covered the topic, uh, really well, and 793 00:42:05,354 --> 00:42:08,825 you did such an excellent job of, uh, moderating this heated debate. 794 00:42:09,170 --> 00:42:09,620 Well, thank you. 795 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:11,060 Thank you. 796 00:42:11,090 --> 00:42:14,440 I fact checked everything along the way, so I can report. 797 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:15,680 We're good on all facts. 798 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,549 That's excellent All right. 799 00:42:20,549 --> 00:42:25,400 Well tell our listeners where they can find abc parenting and a little 800 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,945 bit about what they'll see when they get there Okay, so we are on 801 00:42:28,955 --> 00:42:31,725 YouTube, uh, Instagram, and TikTok. 802 00:42:31,735 --> 00:42:36,124 If you just search for ABC Parenting or ABC Parenting Advice, we're on all 803 00:42:36,125 --> 00:42:40,325 those channels, and we have, um, kind of shorter versions of the episodes that 804 00:42:40,325 --> 00:42:44,515 are on TikTok, and the longer versions of the episodes that are on YouTube. 805 00:42:44,674 --> 00:42:48,595 But yeah, just to give you a few, Examples of topics that we have 806 00:42:48,595 --> 00:42:52,315 recently, there's, um, an episode that we did that's called sick of reading. 807 00:42:52,315 --> 00:42:53,115 Good night, moon. 808 00:42:53,405 --> 00:42:54,365 Here's what to do. 809 00:42:54,385 --> 00:42:58,135 So it's kind of about ways that you can get your child to no longer 810 00:42:58,144 --> 00:43:00,075 be interested in good night moon. 811 00:43:00,564 --> 00:43:03,474 Um, as I said before, there's how to fart your baby. 812 00:43:03,765 --> 00:43:07,644 We cover what to do if your child accidentally emails your boss. 813 00:43:08,130 --> 00:43:11,030 We have, uh, oh, this is, this is one of my favorites. 814 00:43:11,030 --> 00:43:14,440 This is one about, so I, I don't know if other parents have this experience out 815 00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:18,879 there of getting texts from their daycare staff during the day, their child's 816 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,740 daycare staff of like, your kid just took a nap or they just had this meal. 817 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:26,029 So we have an episode about how it's just as important for you, the 818 00:43:26,029 --> 00:43:29,739 parent to text the daycare staff, what you are up to during the day. 819 00:43:30,179 --> 00:43:34,059 I just, I just made copies at the UPS store. 820 00:43:34,059 --> 00:43:36,749 I just took a poop, you know, like basically that kind of thing. 821 00:43:37,020 --> 00:43:39,870 I just poured my second iced coffee of the day. 822 00:43:40,330 --> 00:43:41,540 Yes, exactly. 823 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:45,749 And another one about screen time addiction, what to do about that. 824 00:43:45,749 --> 00:43:50,289 And our solution is to show your it's it's not to take away the screen, but 825 00:43:50,289 --> 00:43:54,550 to rather show your kid only things that are tedious or no longer relevant 826 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:59,290 so that they therefore have no interest in watching the screen anymore, 827 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:00,540 which I actually think that one's a. 828 00:44:00,630 --> 00:44:04,480 I was going to say, all joking aside, that actually would work. 829 00:44:04,820 --> 00:44:05,989 Yeah, totally. 830 00:44:06,490 --> 00:44:12,880 If, if, if there was just things way above their head or, you know, dry 831 00:44:13,130 --> 00:44:18,460 popcorn fart lectures, kids wouldn't be as interested, you know, part of not to 832 00:44:18,460 --> 00:44:22,460 get off on this topic, but since you both have little kids, I'll share this with 833 00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:28,339 you part of the reason that little that all kids, all of us, all humans, you know, 834 00:44:28,339 --> 00:44:34,049 we're, we're get so into our phones, but especially little ones playing games. 835 00:44:34,805 --> 00:44:40,575 is the games always have some kind of coin or prize or a thing popping up 836 00:44:40,575 --> 00:44:44,485 that they're rewarding and the brain gets chemical hit from the reward. 837 00:44:45,065 --> 00:44:46,195 And then it wants more. 838 00:44:46,205 --> 00:44:48,905 It's a very quick chemical release, right? 839 00:44:48,905 --> 00:44:52,405 That's why they call it the digital drug, because it follows the similar 840 00:44:52,715 --> 00:44:57,425 pleasure pathways of drugs and alcohol and shopping and things like that. 841 00:44:57,765 --> 00:45:01,584 And I remember the first time Malcolm, he was little, he was on 842 00:45:01,584 --> 00:45:06,125 a phone playing a game and I saw these coins popping up and I was sure 843 00:45:06,125 --> 00:45:08,115 that he had somehow bought coins. 844 00:45:08,655 --> 00:45:12,235 And so I'm in the phone digging in and I realized that there's no 845 00:45:12,265 --> 00:45:14,435 actual money taking place or no. 846 00:45:15,205 --> 00:45:20,005 He's just getting points, but I watched his face light up when these 847 00:45:20,595 --> 00:45:26,125 points came about, and you can just watch the kid want that reward. 848 00:45:26,635 --> 00:45:31,095 And then the chemical, you know, dies down quickly and then they want it 849 00:45:31,095 --> 00:45:37,194 again and that's the hyper focus, which is what I call it on the gaming and 850 00:45:37,194 --> 00:45:38,885 the watching the thing after thing. 851 00:45:39,155 --> 00:45:42,025 And even sometimes educational videos will give them. 852 00:45:42,435 --> 00:45:45,175 That hit and that's what makes them want to come back for more. 853 00:45:45,485 --> 00:45:50,775 So ironically, to your point of this video, you know, no rewards, tedious 854 00:45:50,785 --> 00:45:55,495 work, they would probably feel like it's a Mac book and want to put it down. 855 00:45:56,045 --> 00:45:56,815 Exactly. 856 00:45:57,075 --> 00:45:58,085 That's totally it. 857 00:45:58,085 --> 00:46:00,094 And we even have a name for this process. 858 00:46:00,125 --> 00:46:03,115 Cause you know how a lot of parenting place, maybe you do this 859 00:46:03,245 --> 00:46:04,805 to have, we'll have an acronym. 860 00:46:05,030 --> 00:46:06,690 We kind of use an acronym for something. 861 00:46:06,910 --> 00:46:13,740 So our acronym is STIMULANT, which stands for screen time is mesmerizing 862 00:46:14,350 --> 00:46:18,970 unless it's average, intolerable, no longer relevant, or tedious. 863 00:46:20,270 --> 00:46:22,010 So that's our little acronym for that one. 864 00:46:24,300 --> 00:46:24,949 Very nice. 865 00:46:25,590 --> 00:46:27,300 Very timely, very timely. 866 00:46:27,860 --> 00:46:32,720 All right, listener, your homework assignment is to go and watch short 867 00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:36,610 versions on TikTok or Instagram or long versions on YouTube. 868 00:46:36,610 --> 00:46:38,860 I promise it will be worth your time. 869 00:46:39,410 --> 00:46:44,299 I'm telling you, Stephanie and Arthur are very funny, very creative, very 870 00:46:44,300 --> 00:46:47,970 poignant, and, and it's, it's a good time. 871 00:46:48,310 --> 00:46:51,060 So if you're looking for a good time, go watch Stephanie 872 00:46:51,250 --> 00:46:53,049 and Arthur at ABC Parenting. 873 00:46:53,530 --> 00:46:56,300 And to both of you, thank you so much for being here today. 874 00:46:56,300 --> 00:46:57,500 It was a pleasure to have you. 875 00:46:58,130 --> 00:47:00,650 My cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much. 876 00:47:01,340 --> 00:47:02,700 Oh, thank you. 877 00:47:03,530 --> 00:47:03,720 Yeah. 878 00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:04,580 Thank you so much. 879 00:47:05,710 --> 00:47:08,050 Round of applause for Lisa Smith, everybody. 880 00:47:09,090 --> 00:47:10,559 And I was sort of funny too. 881 00:47:10,559 --> 00:47:11,420 So that was good. 882 00:47:11,910 --> 00:47:12,640 Very funny. 883 00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:13,719 You are funny. 884 00:47:13,730 --> 00:47:13,940 Yay. 885 00:47:14,739 --> 00:47:15,709 I love to be funny. 886 00:47:15,939 --> 00:47:16,289 Okay. 887 00:47:16,290 --> 00:47:16,780 Listener. 888 00:47:17,100 --> 00:47:18,249 I love you very much. 889 00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:22,670 And until we meet again, I'm wishing you peaceful parenting. 890 00:47:24,150 --> 00:47:26,220 Thanks for listening to Real World Peaceful Parenting. 891 00:47:26,730 --> 00:47:29,470 If you want more info on how you can transform your parenting, 892 00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:30,080 visit ThePeacefulParent. 893 00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:32,210 com See you soon.