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Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast.

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Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life.

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Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.

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When most people ask, "How are you?"

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They aren't actually looking for an in-depth or even honest response.

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It seems to be a societal norm to only exchange brief pleasantries such as,

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"I'm fine, how about you?"

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Followed by the equally generic and vague, "I'm good."

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This ritual reflects how little attention we give to the full range of our emotions,

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except, of course, for the frequent complaints we are compelled to voice throughout the day.

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Anything from the common "I'm so busy," 

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which is often worn as a badge of honor for some reason, to expressions like, "I'm tired,"

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"I'm angry," or "I'm irritated and fed up," all of which we freely express.

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As a result, we rarely look deep within ourselves, unless we are either fortunate

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enough to have therapy sessions on a regular basis, or we have close friends who are

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genuinely interested in our well-being.

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Even then, people don't always listen, they just wait for their turn to speak. So,

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once again, our feelings go unacknowledged, unrecognized, and unchecked.

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Historically, many of us were actually discouraged from expressing our feelings

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growing up. Whether you want to blame toxic masculinity for it, which urged boys to never

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show any emotion, but just pretend to have answers, and act like you know

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what you're doing, never cry, and God forbid, don't you dare giggle like a little girl!

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But, women were also raised to hide their pain and anger, for example,

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because it wasn't "lady-like," so they went through life resilient but silent.

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Until, at some point, they have had enough, so the pendulum swung in the other direction, 

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and parents started raising their kids to cry when they want to cry

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and scream when they want to scream. So now we have an entire generation of people 

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who freely express how they feel, but without actually knowing how to explain their feelings.

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Without proper understanding of what's going on with us, we just act out, and everyone

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understands a tantrum because we are all on the verge of throwing one ourselves.

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Luckily, it's not all bad news. There is a somewhat new path to self-awareness

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available from the Yale University Center for Emotional Intelligence. They offer a free

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mobile notification that asks, "How are you feeling right now?" accompanied by a

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long list of emotions to select from. You log your emotional state every day or twice a day,

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so that over time you learn to regulate your feelings in healthier ways.

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You are prompted to note factors like your sleep quality, location, weather, and

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who is with you. There are informative one-minute videos for you to watch, 

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as well as helpful tips, articles, and more...

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The reason we need to get better acquainted with how we feel is because I've noticed that

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whenever I'm in a good mood, I am joyous even if the weather is funky or if there's a

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long line at the grocery store. But, when I'm in a bad mood... oh boy... 

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I roll my eyes if there is even only one person in front of me at the store,

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or if someone is in "my way" on the freeway. It's ridiculous!

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When I'm happy I find myself smiling for no reason, even amidst challenges, 

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while a bad mood usually leads to seemingly endless trivial irritations.

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Realizing this, we can learn to take responsibility for our behavior,

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recognizing that external circumstances don't determine our happiness.

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Nobody in the world but me is responsible for my state of mind, and the moment I stopped

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blaming others for my suffering, was the moment I found freedom and bliss.

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By keeping a journal of your feelings, you notice patterns that influence your

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emotional responses. For instance, I have experienced my mood improve with 

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consistent meditation, exercise, and drinking enough water, but my mood tanks if I 

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don't get sufficient rest or when I eat poorly and constantly complain.

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All of these things are within my control.

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So, understanding our own patterns allows us to focus on the entirety of our

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holistic experience, rather than fixating on just the positive or the negative.

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I am personally a very visual person, so seeing the automatically generated graphs

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and charts within a few weeks while using the App is extremely helpful,

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depicting how often I am calm and relaxed versus stressed and drained.

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The How We Feel Project responsible for the App is a non-profit organization with which

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I am not affiliated in any way whatsoever, except I use the App myself.

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It's called How We Feel and it has a little heart icon when you look for it.

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So, next time someone wonders how you are feeling, first of all, determine whether the

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situation only requires a vague response, such as a casual chat with a cashier at the

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store, or if it's okay for you to ask, "Do you really want to know how I feel?"

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"Because I just took inventory of my feelings and I know exactly where I stand."

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Mostly, the App is there for you to better understand yourself. And since we are all

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battling similar demons, you will have more compassion for people who are all

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experiencing a multitude of feelings without necessarily knowing how to juggle them all.

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Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Buddhist Boot Camp, Faithfully Religionless,

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and The Opposite of Namaste.

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For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com,

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where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project,

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watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list.

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We hope you have enjoyed this episode

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 and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions.

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Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏