WEBVTT 00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:06.000 Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage. Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad, 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:11.000 I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader. The oldest dad in the world gave you this assignment, 00:00:11.000 --> 00:00:16.000 which means you must be ready for it. As a dad, I get on my knees and I fight for my kids. 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:22.000 Let us be those dads who stop the generational pass down of trauma. I want encounters with God where he teaches me what to do with my kids. 00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:28.000 I know I'm going to be an awesome dad because I give it my all. 00:00:39.000 --> 00:00:46.000 Welcome back to Dad Awesome. Today, Episode 426 — it's book launch week. I'm so thankful you're listening. 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:53.000 My name is Jeff Zaugg, and for over eight years I've been having conversations with incredible dads, gathering discoveries, 00:00:53.000 --> 00:01:00.000 applying them with my own family — my four little girls — and sharing them with you on Dad Awesome. 00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:07.000 All of these discoveries have been distilled down to the core six findings, and I've been sharing them with our Dad Awesome Accelerator groups. 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:14.000 We take about ten dads at a time through a six-week sprint called the Accelerator. We've graduated eleven groups, 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:21.000 and we have our twelfth cohort starting next week. There are still a few spots left — jump to dadawesome.org/coaching. 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:29.000 We've tested the Dad Awesome core discoveries over two and a half years with our coaching cohorts. Now I get to celebrate 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:36.000 bringing those distilled discoveries from eight-plus years of Dad Awesome into book form. 00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:43.000 Story-driven chapters — short, seven-to-eight-minute reads — written for the non-reader. Easy to engage with. 00:01:43.000 --> 00:01:50.000 Every chapter launches you into activation steps. And it's called Dad Awesome. 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:58.000 Right now, jump to our website to buy the book: dadawesome.org/book. It's not on Amazon yet — the hardcover. That's a whole other story. 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:05.000 But you can buy it today, and many people are buying the five-pack and ten-pack and sharing — which is so fun. 00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:14.000 Here's where we're going today. I want to share some gratitude and go upstream. Then we'll jump into a chapter from the book. 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:22.000 And then I want to share what happened yesterday on book launch day. It mirrors dad life. It was a wild dad-fail moment. 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:30.000 This is kind of a three-part episode. Shouldn't be super long — but I'm so thankful you're listening. Let's dive in. 00:02:53.000 --> 00:03:01.000 The book launched on March 17th — my grandpa's birthday. My grandpa passed away six years ago. My mom's dad. 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:09.000 My grandpa was Dad Awesome. He was Grandpa Awesome. Was he perfect? No. Neither are you, and neither am I. 00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:17.000 But my grandpa made strategic moves that impacted his kids, his grandkids, and now his great-grandkids. 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:25.000 He showed up for one-on-ones. He prioritized them on his calendar. At six, seven, eight years old — once a month, my grandpa took me out for a doughnut. 00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:33.000 He would pick me up. There was always anticipation as his grandson, a little bit of nervousness. He always had questions he was asking. 00:03:33.000 --> 00:03:41.000 That graduated around nine or ten to McDonald's. One-on-ones with grandpa, every single month. He had ten grandkids. 00:03:41.000 --> 00:03:49.000 That's a lot of strategic investment of time — many of those forty-five-minute one-on-ones — but he showed up. 00:03:49.000 --> 00:03:57.000 The second thing: family moments. Sporting events. Special school moments. My grandpa drove hours when we moved to Northern Wisconsin. 00:03:57.000 --> 00:04:05.000 A five-hour drive to come to a basketball game. He showed up for the special moments. 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:13.000 He stayed connected through college with monthly phone calls. If I didn't call back within a day or two, he'd call again. 00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:21.000 When I was in Australia, he was calling internationally. He basically slipped into a coaching role as grandpa. 00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:29.000 Another upstream move: he made strategic financial decisions — downsizing from a house to an apartment — 00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:37.000 to gift resources that helped pay for the majority of his grandkids' college. Vehicle gifting. Financial gifts at young marriages. 00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:45.000 He helped us remodel our kitchen. Strategic. At scale. Across all ten grandkids. 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:53.000 He was also the glue for our family. He pulled us together around Father's Day, Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving. 00:04:53.000 --> 00:05:01.000 It wasn't every year and it wasn't on a perfect rhythm, but he was the glue. He loved the togetherness. 00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:09.000 Here's the bigger principle: what are we deciding today? What moves are we making today that will bear fruit with our grandkids? 00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:17.000 I know my grandpa is smiling from heaven. He was not a perfect grandpa, but he was strategic and intentional. 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:25.000 I want to share a few responses from early readers. We had about three hundred early copies go out. 00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:33.000 [Early Reader 1] Man, I am so thankful for you. I'm just filled with so much joy to see this book come to life. 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:41.000 All the things we went through in the cohort — being on paper now for so many more dads to be impacted by. 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:49.000 Reading through your book, the piece that's so simple but so profound is identity. When you know you're a loved son of God, you parent from abundance rather than emptiness. 00:05:49.000 --> 00:05:57.000 I sent that page to some dads yesterday and three of them responded: "Exactly what I needed." Thank you. Praying blessings over this book. 00:05:57.000 --> 00:06:05.000 [Early Reader 2] When I got your book, I cracked it open to the page from Chris Bruno — about being the dads who actually face our pain and don't pass it down. 00:06:05.000 --> 00:06:13.000 Man, that impacted me for a whole week. Thank you for writing the book. 00:06:13.000 --> 00:06:21.000 [Jeff Zaugg — Chapter 18: "The Crashing Cabinet"] The entire cabinet was already falling. Four shelves. Eight half-gallon glass mason jars. 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:29.000 Flour, sugar, rice, coffee beans — all of it coming down on my one-and-a-half-year-old daughter. 00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:37.000 I lunged across the table, my forearm catching the cabinet mid-fall. But I couldn't stop the glass jars. 00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:45.000 The whole thing happened in seconds, but it was months in the making. 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:53.000 My wife and I had made what seemed like a brilliant decision — storing our kids' utensils in the lower level of a corner cabinet. 00:06:53.000 --> 00:07:01.000 We were excited about empowering our little girl to set the table for herself. She would race over, unlatch the door, and proudly place her silverware and plates. 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:09.000 Above her cabinet stood four shelves with large, decorative, half-gallon glass mason jars holding cooking ingredients. 00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:17.000 One evening, my wife's grandmother came over for dinner. We called her Gigi. We were excited to show off how her great-granddaughter could set the table. 00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:25.000 "You can go ahead and set your spot." My daughter — always passionate and determined — pulled on the cabinet door a bit harder than usual. 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:33.000 Before I could react, the entire tall corner cabinet came toppling forward. Glass shattered everywhere. 00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:41.000 The cabinet hit the wall, bounced back, crashed onto the table, and flipped on its side. In trying to save her from one disaster, I almost created another. 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:49.000 I stood in the center of the devastation, holding my daughter tight, inspecting her for injuries. 00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:57.000 Gigi sat on the other side of the flipped table — stone-faced, wide-eyed, completely silent. 00:07:57.000 --> 00:08:05.000 The kitchen looked like a crime scene. My wife was crying — not from fear, but from relief. 00:08:05.000 --> 00:08:13.000 And I'm standing there holding my daughter, realizing: I did this. Not intentionally. But through my inattention. 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:21.000 Miraculously, she wasn't hurt. Those mason jars had all missed her. She kept her face buried in my shoulder, her small body trembling. 00:08:21.000 --> 00:08:29.000 After getting shoes on everyone, I moved Gigi, my daughter, and my wife to the living room and set up a card table for dinner. Nobody ate much. 00:08:29.000 --> 00:08:37.000 It took me over two hours to clean up the broken glass and ingredients scattered throughout the kitchen. 00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:45.000 $2 and two minutes. 00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:53.000 This entire catastrophe could have been prevented with a simple wall strap — a $2 solution that would have taken two minutes to install. 00:08:53.000 --> 00:09:01.000 That truth hit me harder than the falling cabinet. I had failed as a protector. And yet she was safe in my arms despite my mistake. 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:09.000 What small preventative systems could keep me from becoming a father my children would have to recover from? 00:09:09.000 --> 00:09:17.000 That cabinet wasn't just top-heavy with glass. It's a perfect metaphor for our lives as dads. 00:09:17.000 --> 00:09:25.000 Many of us are walking through fatherhood with weight that feels precariously balanced, ready to come crashing down at any moment. 00:09:25.000 --> 00:09:33.000 Some of us feel crushed under the pressures of work, parenting, marriage, or unresolved pain. Others have already experienced the crash. 00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:41.000 The truth is — we were never meant to carry these burdens alone. Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10: 00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:49.000 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, 00:09:49.000 --> 00:09:57.000 so that Christ's power may rest on me." Our inadequacies as fathers create space for God's power to work through us. 00:09:57.000 --> 00:10:05.000 When we acknowledge our weaknesses, we invite his strength. 00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:13.000 Hidden Glass. 00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:21.000 Three months after the cabinet incident, I walked barefoot into the kitchen and felt an unexpected jab of pain in my foot. 00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:29.000 My reaction wasn't anger. It was gladness. As a loving dad, I was willing to take on that pain so my daughter wouldn't find it. 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:37.000 As I removed it, I was reminded of how our unresolved pain works — hidden, sharp, waiting to cut us when we least expect it. 00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:45.000 Whether it's unprocessed grief, childhood wounds, or lingering regret — these fragments continue to cause damage until they're fully addressed. 00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:53.000 [Troy Magnum — Episode 184] When you look at your children walking behind you — what are you going to be in their lives? 00:10:53.000 --> 00:11:01.000 Are you going to be a wall they have to scale over because you kept lying, kept looking at pornography, kept doing whatever it is you do? 00:11:01.000 --> 00:11:09.000 Now they've got to scale over that to get to where God's called them to be. Or are you going to be wind in their sails? 00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:17.000 Look how forgiving God is. Look how good God is. Look how much hope there is. Look how amazing life is. 00:11:17.000 --> 00:11:25.000 God has called all of our children into wonderful, great things. You can either be a barrier to them — or wind. 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:33.000 The decisions you make today. You want to be the wind. You don't want to be a wall. 00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:41.000 [Jeff Zaugg] The difference between being a wall and being wind often comes down to the systems we build before the pressure hits. 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:49.000 Wall straps are installed before the pressure hits — not after the crash. As fathers, we need systems that prevent disasters rather than manage them. 00:11:49.000 --> 00:11:57.000 Here's a list of fatherhood wall straps, organized with biblical truths from Proverbs. 00:11:57.000 --> 00:12:05.000 One — Anger and Impatience. "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." — Proverbs 16:32 00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:13.000 If you're struggling with anger, the answer isn't gritting your teeth harder — it's asking for help before you explode. 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:21.000 Schedule regular time with a trusted friend. Pull over for five minutes on the drive home to pray, breathe, or sit in silence. 00:12:21.000 --> 00:12:29.000 Your kids don't need you to arrive perfect. They need you to arrive present. 00:12:29.000 --> 00:12:37.000 Two — Marriage Relationship. "Better is open rebuke than hidden love." — Proverbs 27:5 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:45.000 Your marriage doesn't fail in the big moments. It fades in a thousand small silences. 00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:53.000 Commit to a weekly hour-long walk together — no phones, no kids. Just honest conversation. 00:12:53.000 --> 00:13:01.000 She can't help carry what you won't share. Your strength isn't handling everything alone. 00:13:01.000 --> 00:13:09.000 Three — Work Stress and Provision Pressure. "In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." — Proverbs 16:9 00:13:09.000 --> 00:13:17.000 If work stress is bleeding into home life, put your phone on Do Not Disturb thirty minutes before walking through your front door. 00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:25.000 Your kids need you present more than they need you to be a perfect provider. God established your steps long before you clocked in this morning. 00:13:25.000 --> 00:13:33.000 Four — Sexual Temptation and Lust. "May you ever be intoxicated with her love." — Proverbs 5:18-19 00:13:33.000 --> 00:13:41.000 This isn't about white-knuckling through temptation. It's about building boundaries before desire becomes compromise. 00:13:41.000 --> 00:13:49.000 If porn or inappropriate content is tempting you, install accountability software today and tell a trusted friend this week. Secrets grow in the darkness. 00:13:49.000 --> 00:13:57.000 Your marriage deserves more than your leftovers after lust has taken its share. 00:13:57.000 --> 00:14:05.000 Five — Isolation and Lack of Brotherhood. "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." — Proverbs 27:17 00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:13.000 You weren't meant to father alone, yet many of us are trying to do exactly that. 00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:21.000 If you've realized you have no close male friends, invite one guy to lunch this month. Start somewhere. 00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:29.000 Brotherhood isn't a luxury for fathers who have margin. It's oxygen for fathers who are drowning. 00:14:29.000 --> 00:14:37.000 You can't sharpen yourself. Stop trying to be strong enough to go it alone. 00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:45.000 These aren't massive overhauls. They're simple $2 solutions that take two minutes to decide on 00:14:45.000 --> 00:14:53.000 but create lasting stability. Every small wall strap you install today is an investment in your children's future. 00:14:53.000 --> 00:15:01.000 I think about that cabinet every time I feel top-heavy. Every time stress makes my jaw tight before I walk through the door. 00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:09.000 Every time I'm tempted to withdraw from my wife instead of being honest. Every time isolation feels easier than reaching out to another dad. 00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:17.000 The $2 wall strap wasn't really about the cabinet. It was about facing the truth that small choices prevent big disasters. 00:15:17.000 --> 00:15:25.000 Asking for help before the crash is wisdom, not weakness. 00:15:25.000 --> 00:15:33.000 My girls don't need a dad who never fails. They need a dad who gets back up — 00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:41.000 who addresses his wounds, who builds systems before the pressure hits. 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:49.000 Your family doesn't need a perfect dad. They need a free one. 00:15:49.000 --> 00:15:57.000 Free from the weight of unhealed pain. Free from the shame that keeps you isolated. 00:15:57.000 --> 00:16:05.000 Free to lead with honesty instead of hiding behind good intentions. That's the dad your kids are looking for. 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:13.000 That's the dad you're becoming — one honest choice at a time. 00:16:13.000 --> 00:16:21.000 That was Chapter 18 — "The Crashing Cabinet." There's a Labs section at the end of every chapter — 00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:29.000 a QR code that springboards you to our website, with action steps, a recommended podcast conversation, 00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:37.000 and six or seven discussion questions to take things deeper with another dad — a text message exchange, a campfire conversation. 00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:45.000 "Crashing Cabinet" lands about halfway through the book, in the freedom section. 00:16:45.000 --> 00:16:53.000 Let me share a few more snippets from guys who read early: 00:16:53.000 --> 00:17:01.000 [Early Reader 3] Man, so grateful for you and this book. As soon as I got to Part Two — identity — 00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:09.000 I read the first chapter and moved it to my morning time with the Father. The line that stopped me: "Heavenly Father doesn't just tolerate our presence — he pursues our heart." 00:17:09.000 --> 00:17:17.000 I had the book on the kitchen counter and told my thirteen-year-old I was reading it to become a better father. 00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:25.000 I wanted him to know I'm in process too. I had him read the story about flipping a coin and jumping in the pool — and he loved it. 00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:33.000 This book is such a blessing. So grateful for what it's going to do for the lives of men and their sons. 00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:41.000 [Early Reader 4] I'm only a hundred pages in and I'm already inspired to lean in. It's easy to get lost in the everyday and become reactive. 00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:49.000 This book has inspired me to lift my eyes — to meet my kids where they are, to see the heart of God in each of them, 00:17:49.000 --> 00:17:57.000 and to lead in a way that's not perfect, but intentional and transparent. Praying this inspires hundreds and thousands of dads. 00:17:57.000 --> 00:18:05.000 [Jeff Zaugg] At dadawesome.org/book there are a bunch of free resources. A new seven-day video series — 00:18:05.000 --> 00:18:13.000 short emails with a three-minute video each day for seven days, covering each of the core discoveries. 00:18:13.000 --> 00:18:21.000 There's also a free three-day Bible reading plan: "I'm Loved, I'm a Learner, I'm a Leader." 00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:29.000 And the free introduction — the preface and intro — can be downloaded immediately as a PDF at dadawesome.org/book. 00:18:29.000 --> 00:18:37.000 One more story before I let you go — because the real story of Jeff Zaugg and my four girls is not the Christmas card photo. 00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:45.000 It's not the clean book cover with the word "Awesome" on it. There are so many portions of dad life that are the other side. 00:18:45.000 --> 00:18:53.000 Here's what happened on launch day. We were heading to dinner to celebrate. We decided to take a family photo. 00:18:53.000 --> 00:19:01.000 The girls shredded up a whole bowl of confetti. We've been doing confetti since Episode 52, seven years ago. 00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:09.000 I grabbed six copies of the book. Camera on a tripod. Custom cornhole boards for the launch event in the background. 00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:17.000 The photo we ended up sharing? Glorious. Confetti raining down. All six of us smiling. Holding the book. 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:25.000 What actually happened ten minutes before that? Right as my wife ran over to throw the confetti — 00:19:25.000 --> 00:19:33.000 my four-year-old puked all over her hand and all over the ground. It just missed my shoes. My nice white shoes. On launch day. 00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:41.000 My reaction? Not a loving father. My face scrunched. I leaned away from my little four-year-old. 00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:49.000 It was shock — but it looked like disgust. I froze and scowled. That's the real dad life. 00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:57.000 Of course I ran, got paper towels, cleaned her up, got her a fizzy water. We reset the scene and took the picture. 00:19:57.000 --> 00:20:05.000 And this morning I was out with a hose and a broom cleaning the driveway. The dad life is full of valley moments. 00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:13.000 Moments where you feel like you failed. Where you need to pick yourself back up. Clean up a mess. Go say I'm sorry. 00:20:13.000 --> 00:20:21.000 There were so many moments through the book process that felt like angst. So many times I thought, "I don't think this is going to help anyone." 00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:29.000 We had a major rainstorm that disrupted our launch event. Multiple waves of Amazon delays. Complications around ISBN numbers. 00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:37.000 That frustrates me as someone who worked on this project for four years. But that's real life. Real life is obstacles and delays. 00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:45.000 We stay thankful. We keep a bigger perspective — eyes on heaven. Real life is: this isn't what I was hoping for, but God is in it. 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:53.000 I pray this book encourages you to stay in. Stay in what matters. Stay in this treasured role of fatherhood. 00:20:53.000 --> 00:21:01.000 Lean into your kids with love. Show them this is a role you delight in. Press into other dads and say, "I want to grow." 00:21:01.000 --> 00:21:09.000 Would you buy the book? And consider buying a handful of copies to give to other dads. This is launch week. 00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:17.000 As much as we had a moment of cleaning up confetti filled with throw-up — that's the real dad life. 00:21:17.000 --> 00:21:25.000 Today I'm choosing to be real rather than performing. What God has done is worth celebrating. And I am still learning forward. 00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:33.000 And so are you. 00:21:33.000 --> 00:21:41.000 God, thank you for these friends who are listening. Thank you for their testimonies, their stories. 00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:49.000 God, thank you for all these podcast conversations that have led into these discoveries and into this book. 00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:57.000 We pray that you would be glorified as this book goes out. Thank you for the gift of fatherhood. 00:21:57.000 --> 00:22:05.000 I want to give my whole heart to it. God, thank you for your love — I receive your love, 00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:13.000 and I'm going to bring your love to my kids today. I pray that you would encourage and refresh every dad listening. 00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:21.000 Remind them: I am with you. God, you are with us. So we can keep our eyes on you and not on these moments that feel like delays. 00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:29.000 We look to you for hope. We choose to celebrate your goodness in our families. 00:22:29.000 --> 00:22:37.000 We lean into growing and learning this week. We are dads of action. 00:22:37.000 --> 00:22:45.000 God, thank you that these listeners are going to read, connect with other dads, pursue one-on-ones with their kids. 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:53.000 Thank you. Bless them. I'm grateful for every listener. In Jesus' name, amen.