Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage. Instead of being an amazing leader and a decent dad,
I want to be an amazing dad and a decent leader. The oldest dad in the world gave you this assignment,
which means you must be ready for it. As a dad, I get on my knees and I fight for my kids.
Let us be those dads who stop the generational pass down of trauma. I want encounters with God where he teaches me what to do with my kids.
I know I'm going to be an awesome dad because I give it my all.
Welcome back to Dad Awesome. Today, Episode 426 — it's book launch week. I'm so thankful you're listening.
My name is Jeff Zaugg, and for over eight years I've been having conversations with incredible dads, gathering discoveries,
applying them with my own family — my four little girls — and sharing them with you on Dad Awesome.
All of these discoveries have been distilled down to the core six findings, and I've been sharing them with our Dad Awesome Accelerator groups.
We take about ten dads at a time through a six-week sprint called the Accelerator. We've graduated eleven groups,
and we have our twelfth cohort starting next week. There are still a few spots left — jump to dadawesome.org/coaching.
We've tested the Dad Awesome core discoveries over two and a half years with our coaching cohorts. Now I get to celebrate
bringing those distilled discoveries from eight-plus years of Dad Awesome into book form.
Story-driven chapters — short, seven-to-eight-minute reads — written for the non-reader. Easy to engage with.
Every chapter launches you into activation steps. And it's called Dad Awesome.
Right now, jump to our website to buy the book: dadawesome.org/book. It's not on Amazon yet — the hardcover. That's a whole other story.
But you can buy it today, and many people are buying the five-pack and ten-pack and sharing — which is so fun.
Here's where we're going today. I want to share some gratitude and go upstream. Then we'll jump into a chapter from the book.
And then I want to share what happened yesterday on book launch day. It mirrors dad life. It was a wild dad-fail moment.
This is kind of a three-part episode. Shouldn't be super long — but I'm so thankful you're listening. Let's dive in.
The book launched on March 17th — my grandpa's birthday. My grandpa passed away six years ago. My mom's dad.
My grandpa was Dad Awesome. He was Grandpa Awesome. Was he perfect? No. Neither are you, and neither am I.
But my grandpa made strategic moves that impacted his kids, his grandkids, and now his great-grandkids.
He showed up for one-on-ones. He prioritized them on his calendar. At six, seven, eight years old — once a month, my grandpa took me out for a doughnut.
He would pick me up. There was always anticipation as his grandson, a little bit of nervousness. He always had questions he was asking.
That graduated around nine or ten to McDonald's. One-on-ones with grandpa, every single month. He had ten grandkids.
That's a lot of strategic investment of time — many of those forty-five-minute one-on-ones — but he showed up.
The second thing: family moments. Sporting events. Special school moments. My grandpa drove hours when we moved to Northern Wisconsin.
A five-hour drive to come to a basketball game. He showed up for the special moments.
He stayed connected through college with monthly phone calls. If I didn't call back within a day or two, he'd call again.
When I was in Australia, he was calling internationally. He basically slipped into a coaching role as grandpa.
Another upstream move: he made strategic financial decisions — downsizing from a house to an apartment —
to gift resources that helped pay for the majority of his grandkids' college. Vehicle gifting. Financial gifts at young marriages.
He helped us remodel our kitchen. Strategic. At scale. Across all ten grandkids.
He was also the glue for our family. He pulled us together around Father's Day, Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving.
It wasn't every year and it wasn't on a perfect rhythm, but he was the glue. He loved the togetherness.
Here's the bigger principle: what are we deciding today? What moves are we making today that will bear fruit with our grandkids?
I know my grandpa is smiling from heaven. He was not a perfect grandpa, but he was strategic and intentional.
I want to share a few responses from early readers. We had about three hundred early copies go out.
[Early Reader 1] Man, I am so thankful for you. I'm just filled with so much joy to see this book come to life.
All the things we went through in the cohort — being on paper now for so many more dads to be impacted by.
Reading through your book, the piece that's so simple but so profound is identity. When you know you're a loved son of God, you parent from abundance rather than emptiness.
I sent that page to some dads yesterday and three of them responded: "Exactly what I needed." Thank you. Praying blessings over this book.
[Early Reader 2] When I got your book, I cracked it open to the page from Chris Bruno — about being the dads who actually face our pain and don't pass it down.
Man, that impacted me for a whole week. Thank you for writing the book.
[Jeff Zaugg — Chapter 18: "The Crashing Cabinet"] The entire cabinet was already falling. Four shelves. Eight half-gallon glass mason jars.
Flour, sugar, rice, coffee beans — all of it coming down on my one-and-a-half-year-old daughter.
I lunged across the table, my forearm catching the cabinet mid-fall. But I couldn't stop the glass jars.
The whole thing happened in seconds, but it was months in the making.
My wife and I had made what seemed like a brilliant decision — storing our kids' utensils in the lower level of a corner cabinet.
We were excited about empowering our little girl to set the table for herself. She would race over, unlatch the door, and proudly place her silverware and plates.
Above her cabinet stood four shelves with large, decorative, half-gallon glass mason jars holding cooking ingredients.
One evening, my wife's grandmother came over for dinner. We called her Gigi. We were excited to show off how her great-granddaughter could set the table.
"You can go ahead and set your spot." My daughter — always passionate and determined — pulled on the cabinet door a bit harder than usual.
Before I could react, the entire tall corner cabinet came toppling forward. Glass shattered everywhere.
The cabinet hit the wall, bounced back, crashed onto the table, and flipped on its side. In trying to save her from one disaster, I almost created another.
I stood in the center of the devastation, holding my daughter tight, inspecting her for injuries.
Gigi sat on the other side of the flipped table — stone-faced, wide-eyed, completely silent.
The kitchen looked like a crime scene. My wife was crying — not from fear, but from relief.
And I'm standing there holding my daughter, realizing: I did this. Not intentionally. But through my inattention.
Miraculously, she wasn't hurt. Those mason jars had all missed her. She kept her face buried in my shoulder, her small body trembling.
After getting shoes on everyone, I moved Gigi, my daughter, and my wife to the living room and set up a card table for dinner. Nobody ate much.
It took me over two hours to clean up the broken glass and ingredients scattered throughout the kitchen.
$2 and two minutes.
This entire catastrophe could have been prevented with a simple wall strap — a $2 solution that would have taken two minutes to install.
That truth hit me harder than the falling cabinet. I had failed as a protector. And yet she was safe in my arms despite my mistake.
What small preventative systems could keep me from becoming a father my children would have to recover from?
That cabinet wasn't just top-heavy with glass. It's a perfect metaphor for our lives as dads.
Many of us are walking through fatherhood with weight that feels precariously balanced, ready to come crashing down at any moment.
Some of us feel crushed under the pressures of work, parenting, marriage, or unresolved pain. Others have already experienced the crash.
The truth is — we were never meant to carry these burdens alone. Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ's power may rest on me." Our inadequacies as fathers create space for God's power to work through us.
When we acknowledge our weaknesses, we invite his strength.
Hidden Glass.
Three months after the cabinet incident, I walked barefoot into the kitchen and felt an unexpected jab of pain in my foot.
My reaction wasn't anger. It was gladness. As a loving dad, I was willing to take on that pain so my daughter wouldn't find it.
As I removed it, I was reminded of how our unresolved pain works — hidden, sharp, waiting to cut us when we least expect it.
Whether it's unprocessed grief, childhood wounds, or lingering regret — these fragments continue to cause damage until they're fully addressed.
[Troy Magnum — Episode 184] When you look at your children walking behind you — what are you going to be in their lives?
Are you going to be a wall they have to scale over because you kept lying, kept looking at pornography, kept doing whatever it is you do?
Now they've got to scale over that to get to where God's called them to be. Or are you going to be wind in their sails?
Look how forgiving God is. Look how good God is. Look how much hope there is. Look how amazing life is.
God has called all of our children into wonderful, great things. You can either be a barrier to them — or wind.
The decisions you make today. You want to be the wind. You don't want to be a wall.
[Jeff Zaugg] The difference between being a wall and being wind often comes down to the systems we build before the pressure hits.
Wall straps are installed before the pressure hits — not after the crash. As fathers, we need systems that prevent disasters rather than manage them.
Here's a list of fatherhood wall straps, organized with biblical truths from Proverbs.
One — Anger and Impatience. "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." — Proverbs 16:32
If you're struggling with anger, the answer isn't gritting your teeth harder — it's asking for help before you explode.
Schedule regular time with a trusted friend. Pull over for five minutes on the drive home to pray, breathe, or sit in silence.
Your kids don't need you to arrive perfect. They need you to arrive present.
Two — Marriage Relationship. "Better is open rebuke than hidden love." — Proverbs 27:5
Your marriage doesn't fail in the big moments. It fades in a thousand small silences.
Commit to a weekly hour-long walk together — no phones, no kids. Just honest conversation.
She can't help carry what you won't share. Your strength isn't handling everything alone.
Three — Work Stress and Provision Pressure. "In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." — Proverbs 16:9
If work stress is bleeding into home life, put your phone on Do Not Disturb thirty minutes before walking through your front door.
Your kids need you present more than they need you to be a perfect provider. God established your steps long before you clocked in this morning.
Four — Sexual Temptation and Lust. "May you ever be intoxicated with her love." — Proverbs 5:18-19
This isn't about white-knuckling through temptation. It's about building boundaries before desire becomes compromise.
If porn or inappropriate content is tempting you, install accountability software today and tell a trusted friend this week. Secrets grow in the darkness.
Your marriage deserves more than your leftovers after lust has taken its share.
Five — Isolation and Lack of Brotherhood. "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." — Proverbs 27:17
You weren't meant to father alone, yet many of us are trying to do exactly that.
If you've realized you have no close male friends, invite one guy to lunch this month. Start somewhere.
Brotherhood isn't a luxury for fathers who have margin. It's oxygen for fathers who are drowning.
You can't sharpen yourself. Stop trying to be strong enough to go it alone.
These aren't massive overhauls. They're simple $2 solutions that take two minutes to decide on
but create lasting stability. Every small wall strap you install today is an investment in your children's future.
I think about that cabinet every time I feel top-heavy. Every time stress makes my jaw tight before I walk through the door.
Every time I'm tempted to withdraw from my wife instead of being honest. Every time isolation feels easier than reaching out to another dad.
The $2 wall strap wasn't really about the cabinet. It was about facing the truth that small choices prevent big disasters.
Asking for help before the crash is wisdom, not weakness.
My girls don't need a dad who never fails. They need a dad who gets back up —
who addresses his wounds, who builds systems before the pressure hits.
Your family doesn't need a perfect dad. They need a free one.
Free from the weight of unhealed pain. Free from the shame that keeps you isolated.
Free to lead with honesty instead of hiding behind good intentions. That's the dad your kids are looking for.
That's the dad you're becoming — one honest choice at a time.
That was Chapter 18 — "The Crashing Cabinet." There's a Labs section at the end of every chapter —
a QR code that springboards you to our website, with action steps, a recommended podcast conversation,
and six or seven discussion questions to take things deeper with another dad — a text message exchange, a campfire conversation.
"Crashing Cabinet" lands about halfway through the book, in the freedom section.
Let me share a few more snippets from guys who read early:
[Early Reader 3] Man, so grateful for you and this book. As soon as I got to Part Two — identity —
I read the first chapter and moved it to my morning time with the Father. The line that stopped me: "Heavenly Father doesn't just tolerate our presence — he pursues our heart."
I had the book on the kitchen counter and told my thirteen-year-old I was reading it to become a better father.
I wanted him to know I'm in process too. I had him read the story about flipping a coin and jumping in the pool — and he loved it.
This book is such a blessing. So grateful for what it's going to do for the lives of men and their sons.
[Early Reader 4] I'm only a hundred pages in and I'm already inspired to lean in. It's easy to get lost in the everyday and become reactive.
This book has inspired me to lift my eyes — to meet my kids where they are, to see the heart of God in each of them,
and to lead in a way that's not perfect, but intentional and transparent. Praying this inspires hundreds and thousands of dads.
[Jeff Zaugg] At dadawesome.org/book there are a bunch of free resources. A new seven-day video series —
short emails with a three-minute video each day for seven days, covering each of the core discoveries.
There's also a free three-day Bible reading plan: "I'm Loved, I'm a Learner, I'm a Leader."
And the free introduction — the preface and intro — can be downloaded immediately as a PDF at dadawesome.org/book.
One more story before I let you go — because the real story of Jeff Zaugg and my four girls is not the Christmas card photo.
It's not the clean book cover with the word "Awesome" on it. There are so many portions of dad life that are the other side.
Here's what happened on launch day. We were heading to dinner to celebrate. We decided to take a family photo.
The girls shredded up a whole bowl of confetti. We've been doing confetti since Episode 52, seven years ago.
I grabbed six copies of the book. Camera on a tripod. Custom cornhole boards for the launch event in the background.
The photo we ended up sharing? Glorious. Confetti raining down. All six of us smiling. Holding the book.
What actually happened ten minutes before that? Right as my wife ran over to throw the confetti —
my four-year-old puked all over her hand and all over the ground. It just missed my shoes. My nice white shoes. On launch day.
My reaction? Not a loving father. My face scrunched. I leaned away from my little four-year-old.
It was shock — but it looked like disgust. I froze and scowled. That's the real dad life.
Of course I ran, got paper towels, cleaned her up, got her a fizzy water. We reset the scene and took the picture.
And this morning I was out with a hose and a broom cleaning the driveway. The dad life is full of valley moments.
Moments where you feel like you failed. Where you need to pick yourself back up. Clean up a mess. Go say I'm sorry.
There were so many moments through the book process that felt like angst. So many times I thought, "I don't think this is going to help anyone."
We had a major rainstorm that disrupted our launch event. Multiple waves of Amazon delays. Complications around ISBN numbers.
That frustrates me as someone who worked on this project for four years. But that's real life. Real life is obstacles and delays.
We stay thankful. We keep a bigger perspective — eyes on heaven. Real life is: this isn't what I was hoping for, but God is in it.
I pray this book encourages you to stay in. Stay in what matters. Stay in this treasured role of fatherhood.
Lean into your kids with love. Show them this is a role you delight in. Press into other dads and say, "I want to grow."
Would you buy the book? And consider buying a handful of copies to give to other dads. This is launch week.
As much as we had a moment of cleaning up confetti filled with throw-up — that's the real dad life.
Today I'm choosing to be real rather than performing. What God has done is worth celebrating. And I am still learning forward.
And so are you.
God, thank you for these friends who are listening. Thank you for their testimonies, their stories.
God, thank you for all these podcast conversations that have led into these discoveries and into this book.
We pray that you would be glorified as this book goes out. Thank you for the gift of fatherhood.
I want to give my whole heart to it. God, thank you for your love — I receive your love,
and I'm going to bring your love to my kids today. I pray that you would encourage and refresh every dad listening.
Remind them: I am with you. God, you are with us. So we can keep our eyes on you and not on these moments that feel like delays.
We look to you for hope. We choose to celebrate your goodness in our families.
We lean into growing and learning this week. We are dads of action.
God, thank you that these listeners are going to read, connect with other dads, pursue one-on-ones with their kids.
Thank you. Bless them. I'm grateful for every listener. In Jesus' name, amen.