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Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, 

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and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life.

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Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.

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On Sunday, after a year-and-a-half of only giving talks over Zoom, 

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I had my first in-person speaking engagement at a local Unity Church.

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Although it was overstimulating for me to be in a room filled with so many people and

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live music after such a long stretch of peaceful solitude, I somehow managed to 

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maintain composure and keep my cool.

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Transitioning back into social events is going to be a gradual exercise for me.

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I had one event this month, there are two next month, and then half a dozen

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that involve some travel the month after that.

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While some people have anxiety about businesses opening up again,

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distance and travel restrictions being lifted, 

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and face masks no longer being a requirement in some areas,

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there are also many people who are excited to get back out there to socialize and mingle.

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Let's be gentle and understanding with one another, check with someone if they are

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open to hugging before assuming that they are, and honor everyone's comfort level.

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Prior to my talk on Sunday, the Minister said our life experience is directly affected by our

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mythology. This got me thinking about what a difference perspective can make

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when it comes to our ability to love everyone.

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On the one hand, a friend recently told me he believes it's in our human nature to

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judge others, and that my entire premise of non-judgment is therefore idealistic and

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unrealistic. "Why fight nature?" is my friend's go-to reasoning for humans being so selfish.

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On the other hand, the Dalai Lama says that Love is the absence of judgment.

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So, what's in question is no longer whether or not we can love freely,

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it is suddenly a discussion about us judging compulsively.

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It doesn't matter if loving or judging is in our inherent nature because we aren't concrete

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and nothing is permanently fixed. 

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Above all else, it's ultimately in our nature to evolve, like all beings, so we are not limited,

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restricted, or confined by our past, we are shaped by what we decide to do in the present

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We are capable of unlearning and

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turning what has previously been unnatural into a genuine part of who we become.

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Just as someone who is optimistic and hopeful can turn cynical and resentful,

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I believe the judgmental can also learn to love, and the selfish can grow selfless.

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Every time we talk about love, I feel it's important to remember that true love is

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unconditional, for if love has conditions, then it isn't love at all, it's a transaction.

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Having said that, however, love can't conquer all, so to speak, for even love can't salvage

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every relationship. While love has no conditions, relationships can 

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most certainly have them. That's why it's painful but possible to even be

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madly in love with someone, yet still be better off without them.

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There is a difference between judging a person and assessing compatibility.

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But, if we learn not to judge anyone, 

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then we can, as the Dalai Lama suggests, love everyone, whether we 

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maintain a relationship with them or not.

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Our first experience of love is typically by our parents or caregivers,

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and for many of us, it wasn't unconditional.

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We received their love when we followed the rules and made them proud, but that love was

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taken away if we disappointed or embarrassed them.

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I don't think it's their fault, however, for if they never learned how to be nonjudgmental,

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then we're back to my friend's perspective

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that it's downright unnatural for them to love us unconditionally.

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People seldom ask themselves if they are ready to love before they decide to

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get into a relationship or to have kids.

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They just want to BE loved and simply assume they would be able to love in return.

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For some, loving comes easily because they aren't judgmental.

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But for many, judgment comes easily, making love difficult to find.

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This is why I appreciate Buddhism always turning the mirror back on the practitioner to

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work on themselves rather than blaming our lack of serenity on outside circumstances,

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such as our nature or learned behavior, as if those things are fixed.

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Is it in our nature to judge or to love? 

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Or is judgment and love nothing more than learned behavior?

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I don't think it's a question so much as it is an invitation to unlearn judgment so that love

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comes naturally. This would make it easier for us to love and be loved, and isn't that

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what we're all after at the end of the day?

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What a relief to discover that we are what's been standing in our way all along.

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And now that we know, we can get to work on raising our awareness of how many times we

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pass judgment throughout the day. 

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The easiest way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a healthy one.

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To that end, I suggest my favorite exercise of shifting your approach

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when you enter a room, from trying to impress everyone, 

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to finding something impressive about everyone. Good luck!

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This podcast isn't sponsored by some product or service. It is made available 

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with no ad placement thanks to listeners just like you through

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Patreon.com/BuddhistBootCamp — Thank you for your support.

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Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless

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and Buddhist Boot Camp.

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For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com,

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where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project,

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watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list.

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We hope you have enjoyed this episode, 

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and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions.

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Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏