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Welcome to The Selling in the Motor Trade Podcast, an association with Symco Training.

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This is the weekly podcast where we share best practice tips and ideas on how to sell

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more cars, improve your service department and generally put more profit into your dealership

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or dealer group.

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I'm your host, Simon Bowkett, and some of you probably already know me as Skippy.

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I will start with saying thank you for taking the time to listen to this podcast.

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Welcome to another episode of Selling in the Motor Trade.

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I'm so excited about the guest today and you probably know I say that all the time, but

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no, I'm seriously excited.

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We've actually got a real doctor today.

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Now I love psychology as to why people buy things, why salespeople do things when asking

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them to do it, and sometimes they don't.

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I love to know the psychology about what makes people tick.

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I suppose I'm a bit of a people watcher, and maybe you are as well.

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But today I've got Dr. Tharaka Gunarathne.

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Now I don't know if I'm pronouncing your surname right there, doctor, but actually I'm so excited

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to get the real ideas as to why people do what they do or why they don't do it.

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So Dr. Tharaka, do I pronounce your surname right?

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Tharaka, is that right?

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So Tharaka, that's my first name, and that was pretty much right.

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Gunarathne is my surname, and to be honest, you know, people within my family forgets.

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We've left that out, so it's Dr. T for short.

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Okay, Tharaka, when you said I've got that almost right, Tharaka, Dr. Tharaka, I'm going

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to try to get that right.

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Thank you very much.

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Tharaka, I understand you're a TEDx speaker, okay, you're a podcaster.

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What have you guys made or heard of, Dr. Tharaka, with Chennels 4s, can I improve my

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memory?

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Go and find that.

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Go and have a look at some of these TEDx speeches there because they're really, really

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good, okay?

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I suppose you talk lots about manage your mind, and you can manage your bottom line.

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But can I ask you a question?

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This is a podcast about the motor trade and selling in the motor trade, so people are

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going to want to know, what's the first car that you bought?

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Great question.

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My first car that I bought was actually a Volkswagen Golf Mark II in red, bought a second

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hand from a nice couple in the hills of Scotland somewhere.

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I was about 18, 19 years old, and I got into the car with my dad.

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I think he was driving a Vauxhall Cavalier, very old Vauxhall Cavalier at the time, and we drove

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off into the hills and bought the second hand VW and brought it back.

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It kind of hobbled its way back, Simon, and we had to do so many repairs on it, and back

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in the day, my dad was very sort of pro, I'll just do everything myself.

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So the car, it spent half its life on four pillars of bricks getting that, no other changed.

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But it was great, and it got me to medical school and back most days, and yeah, what a fun car

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to have.

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I've got to use a medical skill, I've got to ask you, tell us about your journey, you're

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a medical doctor, and now you're doing high performance coaching and dealing with high

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top-end performance in lots of different industries.

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How does that happen?

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Tell us about your journey.

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Yeah, well, Simon, it was kind of by accident, I didn't plan it as many of these things go.

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So I've been a medical doctor for 15 years, and through that journey, I specialized in

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medicine of the mind.

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So, hence, I'm a psychiatrist, so I made it to consultant level psychiatry, and part of

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the reason for falling into that path, that stream of medicine, I think, is from my experiences

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as a child, because many people in my own family, Simon, around me were struggling with mental

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health problems.

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I kind of developed as a practical psychologist, that sort of got people understood the importance

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of communication and feelings and all that kind of stuff.

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And so that really shone and carried me through medical school, and it helped me select that

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path of psychiatry.

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But to cut a long story short, whilst I was a consultant psychiatrist, practicing consultant

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psychiatrist, I saw the author of a TEDx talk pop up on one of the global emails that got

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shot round the department, and I thought, hey, you know what, I feel like that's for me.

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I feel like I should apply for that.

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I did.

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And that conference was themed, shifting perspectives.

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Shifting perspectives.

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And I thought, hey, you know what, I kind of do that as a mental health professional.

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I have to help people see things differently in order for them to experience a bit of a

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recovery.

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You know, if you're depressed, for example, or if you've got depressive patterns of thinking,

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keeping those patterns of thinking can become, can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, right?

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And so that becomes a bit of a downward spiral.

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But by shifting your perspective, you give your chance to work your way in another direction.

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So anyway, I thought, hey, I could do that.

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So I did that in 2016.

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And then a few TED talks later, I find myself bringing a message to the working world.

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When you manage the mind, you can manage your bottom line.

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It really is.

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It's one of the parts that in the motor trade, I'm going to say sometimes we've been, we've

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just left it out.

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It's like where the numbers, where we achieved, where we're up to, okay, just do the job.

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Hey, listen, in your time then, you've clearly worked with lots of high performance people.

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You've met with people, they just win and win all the time.

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I'm guessing you must deal with some people that they always seem to struggle in some part

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of their life.

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Can I ask you, what is the mindset difference between someone that seems to go from win

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to win, to someone that seems seems to go from loss to loss?

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Mm, mm.

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I love the question.

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And I think it's so, so important when you work with someone in a coaching setting or

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with a team to help them define, well, what does winning look like for you?

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Because often our top of mind impression of winning might look like numbers, it might

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look like profits, it might be the number of cars that we've sold, it might be the promotion.

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The tangible, very sort of commonplace wins in our mind, but winning can sometimes also

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look like, and my well-being is good, or I'm sleeping well, or I'm getting time my kids,

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my relationship, my partner's restored.

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And so when I'm doing work with folk who want to win, we start there, and I get into what

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I call the 11 growth areas, I've defined 11 growth areas that I think that if you manage

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all of these different accounts of your life, well, you're winning in general.

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Because you hear stories, don't you Simon of CEOs that have absolutely crushed it in business

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and managed to take their company from, you know, where they are to light yours ahead,

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but they neglected the health, but they neglected their relationship, but they're lonely, whatever,

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you know, so there's so many different facets.

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So I would define that first, but does that make sense, does that again, even before I

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get into the answer?

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No, no, of course it does, okay, winning is at all part of your life.

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It's not just in bottom line, okay, you need to win an all part of it for the bottom line

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to make sense.

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I suppose that's what you're driving at.

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Yeah, so the bottom line is actually, you know, it's code for actually what matters to you.

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So bottom line, of course, can be your financial bottom line, but, you know, we have multiple

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bottom lines in life that matter to us, so it can be well-being, it can be your health,

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it can be your relationships, it can be your free time, your time freedom, your relationship

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freedom, your travel freedom, all these different freedoms to experience in life.

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And so when you manage the mind, you position yourself to manage your bottom line is the

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short way of putting it, or expand the bottom lines in life that matter to you.

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And so that's, you know, and I've learned that as a mental health professional, there's

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so much that's connected to your mind, not only your performance, but things like your

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neurotransmitter activity in your brain, your susceptibility to viral illnesses even, how

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likable you are, which can predict how embedded in relationships or lonely you are in life.

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So there's a whole bunch of stuff, but circling back to your question then of what's the difference

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between, you know, someone that's win-win-win and someone that's struggling.

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There can be healthy reasons and there can be unhealthy reasons, so that's a caveat,

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I'll just put aside real quick. And that is that, believe it or not, you're going to have clusters

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of personality traits that when coupled together in a human being can almost pathologically drive

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them towards success. Okay, so what I mean by that is they're hitting the numbers and the climbing

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the ladder, but at the same time, you know, people are just commodities to me. If you're valuable to

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me, I keep you if you're not, I get rid of you. Okay, and so the winning comes at another kind of

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an expense and that can be, can be social. But that aside, the pathological winning aside,

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if we think about people that are doing well, yeah, your mindset's got a lot to do with it,

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and I'll just be simple. Henry Ford said, if you think that you can, you can, and if you think

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that you can't, you can't, maybe let's open that up. I love that. Henry Ford, if you think you can,

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you can, if you think you can't, you can't. It's so, so true, isn't it? And listen, I want to get your

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views then moving forward then on the subconscious mind. We say in the motor trade that you get a car

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salesperson. So many times they sell a car and then straight after they sell a car, the best time

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to sell a car is straight after you've done it, because you've still got that buzz. There's that

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spring in your step. So they do that first deal on a Saturday morning. It's a full up deal. Then

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they go and speak to the next customer. Now that customer buys, and Dr. Tharaka, they turn up and

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say, I can't believe I bought a car today. I just popped out to get a brochure. And in their mind,

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they say, yes, get in there. They've now got more of a spring in their step.

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They come out to the next customer, and that customer says, to be fair, you're the first place

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I've been. I'm just looking. That goes in one ear and out the other. And because they're on that

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roll, they sell them a car. And then we sat in the motor trade, when everyone they speak to turns

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to gold, we call it the Midas touch. You know, the mythical Greek god king, or was a god or a king,

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King Midas, I think it was. Everything that touch turns to gold. Right. But actually,

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the same thing happens in reverse. Everyone you spoke to is turned to crap. Okay. I mean, they do

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a deal. Okay. They sell them a car, and then that customer fails on finance. And you see sales

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people, the heads drop, we go into, we'll almost come down. The people who can't listen to this,

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they can't see it, we're dropping down there. That's what sales people's body language. You see it

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written over them. They go and speak to the next customer. They sell them a car. And then they

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can't get the car they want because the semiconductors, there's a worldwide shortage of them. They go

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into lower again. They sell the next car. And then someone, one of their colleagues says,

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Oh, that was my customer. They bought the last four cars. And they lose that deal. Actually,

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we call it the opposite of the Midas touch. Because if you spell that reverse, it spells

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saddens. And sometimes the mindset of that salesperson, when they're down in the saddoms,

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it's really hard to get themselves out of that. So can I ask you, what is it? What can that

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salesperson do? Who's listening to this? That's down in the SADIMS in that dark place. Okay. What

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can they do to get them back up to where everything that touch turns the gold? Is there anything

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specifically they could try? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. A whole bunch of things. And you know,

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maybe you start by saying that, you know, what goes on between the ears has a real impact on

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the actions that you take and the results that you achieve. What you think, what you believe,

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and what you assume has an impact on the magnitude of the actions that you take,

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the tenacity of the actions you take, and the results, the progress and profits that you make.

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Now, it's not a perfectly linear connection, mind-action profit. There are lots of moving parts in it.

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But you know, as a rule of thumb, it's very, very helpful. What can you do if you're down in the

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dumps? Well, there are lots of things. Here's a top tip. Number one, you want to zoom out,

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because often when you are so involved in getting that next win, we're very busy on the dance floor.

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As Royston guessed, we'd say very busy on the dance floor, not enough time on the balcony. So

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if you can zoom out, get on the balcony, change your perspective. You don't just see that one loss.

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You go, okay, one loss, but ten wins. Okay, right, so in perspective, I'm still doing okay.

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You see, one of the things that gets us down is not what we think about the situation,

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but what we think about ourselves as a result of the situation. So it's not like, oh, they didn't

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buy. It's, oh, I'm a failure. That's the damaging thought. Do you see the difference? So you want

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to just zoom out and just get perspective and then try and do a fair assessment on everything

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that's going on. Do an assessment on yourself, do assessment on the person you spoke to, because

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maybe they just absolutely shouldn't have bought in that moment. Maybe the right thing for them was

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that they didn't buy, and maybe actually it was a good thing, that in that moment that the sale

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wasn't, it didn't materialize, because it's a no now for a bigger yes later, whatever. There

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may be lots of reasons, but it's important that you do a fair assessment on yourself,

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because if you start to self-criticize, that is fuel on the fire.

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Don't we do that as humans normally? Don't we beat ourselves up? If my best mate spoke to

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myself sometimes the way I speak to myself, it wouldn't be my mate very long. Is that a natural

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human trait sometimes? Yeah, I think for many of us, it is. The good news is that we can train

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ourselves out of it, and you just hit the nail on the head, Simon. If my friends spoke to me like

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that, which I can't believe they would, then we wouldn't be friends. And I think what's interesting

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is that when we start to, and this might sound a bit fuddy-duddy, but bear with me on this one,

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if we start to speak to ourselves, like we would a friend, the language is very different.

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The language is very different. So you know there are times where we're just pushing yourself

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with tired. It's like, I can't do this anymore, but you keep doing it. But if it was a friend, you say,

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sit down, take a break. I'm going to make your cup of tea, shut the laptop. It can wait an hour.

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So we're just we're shining kindness onto that person. You know, rejuvenate and they're more

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powerful. They get their strength back and then they go again. But for us, we just kind of, you know,

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we just go and go and go and go. And so there's something about using our ability to talk to someone

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kindly, as a friend, and use that self-kindness. So, but you're right. It's hard, right? Because we

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can be our own worst critic. Yeah. That's it. So I want to circle back a little bit. You said

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something before. I didn't pick up right. Mind, action, profit. Can you expand on that? So the mind,

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action, profit, get the mind right first, then get the action and then the profit. Can you expand

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on that for me? I like that approach. Yeah, for sure, for sure. So actually, we can improve our

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state of mind. So when I talk about the mind, I'm talking about, what do you think, believe and assume?

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So that's very cognitive. But also, how do you feel? All right. So thoughts, beliefs and assumptions,

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and emotional climate will have an effect on how you take action. So, for example, you don't

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make decisions the same when you're angry compared to when you're relaxed. You don't make decisions

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the same, or you don't communicate the same with people when you're anxious compared to when you feel,

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perfectly peaceful. And so our emotional climate has a big effect on muscle tension, body language,

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use of facial expressions, our tone of voice, everything. And all of these are micro data

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communications between person to person. So your emotional climate is one thing. But then also,

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what you think, what you believe and what your assumptions are, have an effect on how you interact

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with someone. So for example, if you grew up fearing authority figures, let's just say you were raised

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that way, maybe you had a very critical teacher or a very critical parent or something like that.

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And so as a child, because your brain is very fertile. And by the way, your brain's 86 billion

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neurons in here. I'm holding up my half brain model here to you, Simon. The viewers can see,

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but those who are not, you have no idea about what I'm doing.

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How many billion did you say in there? Yeah, 86 billion neurons in your brain. And you have

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trillions of connections between these neurons. And they're very fertile and multiple as a child.

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And so you're learning a lot about the world, life and people. But let's just say you have

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the schema that authority figures are scary. And now you're 36 years old, you are a sales rep

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and or a sales exec on the shop floor. And and someone walks in and just echoes the past for you.

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What does that do? It activates all those internal laws in the operating system and puts you into that

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very negative place. And so now the way I feel, the way I think the way I assume about this person

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is very subjective and based on my experiences growing up, right? And so circling back to my

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action profit, what you think, what you believe and what you assume, coupled with how you feel

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has a massive effect on how you interact with people and take actions.

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Yeah, I suppose in a practical point of view, we just see salespeople all the time. If they go and

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speak to a teacher, and that teacher was hard work, and they didn't make a decision forever,

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okay, they immediately think the next teacher, they're going to be the same. Yeah, that's not

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always the case at all. Right. Right. But they think they're going to be that way just because of,

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hey, what flashes through their mind, I think, is that last teacher that was hard work,

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they never made a decision. Oh, here we go again. Okay, that company carbine, they're going to be a

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waste of space. But actually, not every company carbine might be a waste of space.

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Likely. So a nice top tip for those that are listening in is to use what we call curiosity,

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stay curious, be careful about the conclusions your brain forms about that one off interaction

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you just had with somebody. But instead, if you stay curious, you walk away from that interaction,

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you go, Hmm, I wonder why the conversation went like that. What was it about me? What was it about

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them? It might have been, it might have been they had an argument with their partner before they

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came to showroom, they had an argument in the car park. And, you know, actually, the anger that I

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felt in that conversation wasn't even meant for me, it was for the part, it was just projection.

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So again, by staying curious, we, we don't allow our brains to jump to conclusions off the negative

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ones, right? Oh, I suck as a salesperson. Oh, it was my fault. It might have been, but like,

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there could be other explanations. Like, let's just keep our mind open to that.

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I suppose it works in the other way as well. And I had a conversation with a salesperson

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Monday said, I've got Eddie expert. And now Eddie expert in the moderator is the customer

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that's hard work. They think they know everything. And this person was just, give me the best price.

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Don't deal with that way. I just want to know what the numbers is. And there's a whole lot of

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negativity coming from the customer. I said, hold on, we got put ourselves into the customer's

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shoes. Why is the customer like that? What experience have they had in the past? I said,

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listen, if someone's like that, you may even try to just turn and say,

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sir, I'm just trying to help you find the right cars for you. It almost sounds like you've had a

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tough time trying to buy a car in the past. And what's happened? Because this person may have

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had a situation they felt they were ripped off in the past. They weren't dealt with in the right

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way. And once you know what the issue is, you say, sir, I know exactly where you're coming from.

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I understand how you feel. I'm going to make sure I'm not going to do that for you. And just

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struck on there that customers might feel that way as well.

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It's what we call in our world of psychotherapy,

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transference. So it's literally, it's literally I'm now bringing my historical interactions with

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another figure or person and transferring that into this current interaction I have with this

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person, because there's something about that person unconsciously even that's activating my

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mind for me to think that you're an echo. And so I literally now transferring a relationship dynamic

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I had with this other person into this here. And if the sales rep can pick that up and go,

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like, you wouldn't necessarily speak this out loud. But if you're like, gosh, there's a lot,

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you seem very angry. Or I feel like a failure right now. Like, why? Where's that coming from?

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Oh, that's, I think it's coming from the person that's just walked into this conversation with me.

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They're, they're, they're pointing the finger. But what that's actually not about me. That's their

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story. Okay. Right. I'm clean. I can keep going. So it's a useful skill. Yeah, cool. I like that

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transference. Okay. I've not heard of it into that way before. Listen, I'd love to get your views on

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the subconscious mind now. Okay. I've read some books. We've, I'm sure you read plenty of books to get

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to where you have. But I want to get your views on some books like I've heard Walt Disney said,

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whatever the subconscious mind can conceive and then believe the conscious mind can then go and

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achieve. And I think Napoleon Hill and his book, Think and Grow Rich, he took lots about visualization.

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He took lots about seeing exactly where he wanted to be and then working out what he had to do. Um,

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Stephen Covey or Dr. Stephen Covey, I think his was see, do get. They're all talking about

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visualization. I want to get your views on visualization. Does it work? Is it a load of

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hocus pocus? Should we be doing that? Um, get your views on that if that's okay.

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Yeah. Uh, I love this topic because it, it, it's connected to optimism and the neuroscience and

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the psychology of optimism. So in a sense, what, what visualization is, I'll pull this model of the

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brain out again. The visualization is, um, a conversation between the front and the back of

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your brain. So behind your forehead, you have the CEO of your brain, the decision maker. This is

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the frontal lobe here in orange. And at the back here, if you just, um, fuel to the back of your

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skull, you can feel actually a skull like nodule, a kind of sharpie bony prominence. You feel that

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at the back of your head. I want to know how many people driving the car listening to this podcast

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are doing the same thing now. I hope you all are. Be safe. Be safe for those of you driving a car

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or operating a chainsaw right now or a power whisk. Uh, but yeah, there, there's a, there's a really

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sharp bit of a skull at the back. You're such a thickest part of your skull. It protects, uh,

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your occipital lobe, which is where your visual cortex is. So this is a bit for seeing. Now,

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when I want to picture something in the screen of my mind, um, and this is an interesting side

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fact, but about 1% of the population do not have the capacity to picture things in their mind.

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They can't see. Really? Yes. And so visualization doesn't come naturally to them. But anyway,

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in the most, in the great majority, visualization is the CEO is saying,

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I want to see, uh, you know, I want to see the Lamborghini on the driveway.

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Let's just say, right? Okay. Okay. A young, a young girl, a young boy's dream. Okay. And so

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what's happening there is that frontal lobe is talking to occipital lobe, a occipital lobe is

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starting to, to paint an image, an image on the screen of your mind, which is where we get the

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word imagination from. Ah, okay. Right. Yeah. So we're using our image, a nation, imagination.

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Okay. Meaning an image on the screen of mine. What are we doing now?

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We are now picturing a version of the future. This is what we call optimism. Optimism is gratefulness

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for the future. Okay. So it's not about, so technically gratefulness is my emotional response

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to the present. I'm grateful for the air I breathe, the food in my table, the shoes of my feet. I'm

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grateful for now. But if I can get excited about the future, I'm now practicing what we call

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optimism, which is I'm able to picture the future above what is actual. Okay. And so when we

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visualize, we're creating these images in the screen of our mind of what could the future look

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like, not the actual, but the better than actual. This is optimism. The opposite, right? It's about

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picturing a future that's worse than the actual. Okay. Now what we know is that what we visualize,

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especially when we practice it, is not only connected to success, but it drives success.

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Okay. So it's not, it's not even like an association. It's actually the more we visualize,

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the more we make our future a reality that we can see and believe, we're more likely to take action

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towards that. So it's mind-action profit again. I think about it. I believe it. I'm taking action.

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And just bouncing back to that question you asked earlier onto the assignment,

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you can work on mind-am-action both. You don't have, it's not one comes before the other, but

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in terms of what we're talking about right now, yes, of course, like the more I condition my mind,

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the better my actions were followed. So the more crystal clear I can make that vision,

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the more I can see it there, the more likely I am to get your mind to put the action in to make

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it achievable. So it really is not hocus pocus. There is some real science behind that.

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Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. And you know, it's funny because we have access to it. Like we can

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actually, sports people will visualize, you know, actors actually don't visualize or become their

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character in their mind. In fact, that's probably a really great example. You know, some of my

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friends are actors. And you know, literally, I see the character, I've become the characters,

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a perfect example of what's going on in my mind becomes externalized in my actions.

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Yeah. I love that Ian Thorpe, I was a swimmer growing up in Australia. Not a very good one,

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I might add. But I heard these stories all the time about how we shut his eyes beforehand.

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He'd listen to music because music takes us back to a point in our life when we think we were invincible.

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And he shuts his eyes and pitches the whole race. He pitches himself touching the end of the pool

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and see him the exact time he wants to get. He plays the whole race in his mind beforehand.

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I know some of the Formula One drivers do exactly the same thing. They picture it beforehand.

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And I suppose I like the process that I think it was Walt Disney said, whatever the subconscious

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mind can conceive, but then believe the conscious mind can go and achieve. So it's nice to know the

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the the science behind that. So can I ask you a question then? So you're, and I hope you don't

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mind me saying this, but in your life there, you're dealing with patience. And if you get things

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wrong, there could be dire consequences. And our world is selling cars. If we get things wrong,

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we don't hit budget. Okay. If we get things wrong, it doesn't matter there. Okay. So

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so many times you're dealing with someone else and you're trying to help them. So the question

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I'm asking is, what advice do you have for that sales measure, that service measure that's got

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someone in their team that they need to help? They can see that their mindset's not right.

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What can they do to help that person get them into that right mindset? And I suppose I'm driving

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back to your medical past because you must have to help people get them the right mindset.

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What could that manager do to help get that mindset in their team?

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Yeah, it's really important when I'm hearing this a lot, Simon, from managers, this exact question

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that you ask is that I've got someone on my team, I've got some people on my team, I need to lift

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their attitude. I want to see them lift their attitude, lift their belief level, lift their

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expectation level so they can mobilize more. And the good news is you can do something about that.

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But quick anecdote from my line of work in the clinical world, so I was like clinically practicing

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psychiatrist when I was doing that, we would have a weekly meeting with a variety of staff members

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with nurses and psychologists and we'd all be talking about our cases that we're working with.

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When you think about it in mental health, it's difficult stuff that we're bringing to these meetings.

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We've got patients that are more depressed than ever, we've got patients that are not eating,

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that's a really dangerous situation to be and we have patients that are suicidal,

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or patients that are hearing voices, distressed, running away, things like that.

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And so, can you imagine that? That's our 19-minute discussion meeting,

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there's all we're doing is talking about, I'm stuck, how do we make this better?

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How do you not get into that environment yourself as a practitioner?

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Yeah, so I mean, it's like, okay.

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Sorry, that's another question there, but it must be a question.

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Yeah, and you know, I think that it's a constant battle. I don't know if we are ever completely

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immune. I think that, you know, sometimes there were times where actually you're able to

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create that psychic distance, as it were, that mental space whereby I can help, I can serve,

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I can diagnose, I can treat. And at the same time, their emotional predicament isn't going to

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overwhelm me and then derail me and then ultimately stop me from serving them well.

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So there's a lot going on there, but what I was going to say with regards to the team was that

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I felt it was really important for us at the beginning of every meeting to focus on what went

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well. So when we talk about in the last week, what's gone well for you, with any of your patients,

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with anything that's happened outside of work, because I think it's so important that we train

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the CEO of our brain behind our forehead to be able to hunt for good data. So you're going back

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to question about the manager who wants to help shift behavior and thinking in the team. One tool

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is having a what went well huddle, you know, and just keeping that in the life of the team

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of what went well huddle. At the end of the week, one thing that went well, let's go around the

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group 90 seconds, go. And people practice this. See, I love that. Because so many sales meetings,

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I have walked ourselves really more depressed before I went in there. Yes. Okay. Yes. And it

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starts right at the beginning of the day. And it's like, well, that went wrong. And you didn't

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move that car back there. And that one failed on finance. And you just see this. And that's why I

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said that transference. Okay. Actually, even as a manager, I've had my whole sales team,

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make me out, saying, you know, that car's too expensive. Okay, we'll never sell that car.

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And actually, it's that negative thing. I love that tool there. What went well, what went well.

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Yeah, it's such a simple question to ask. And I often say this when I'm working with

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teams in automotive after work with senior leadership teams, I give them this example. You know,

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if you ask a kid, how was school today? What do you get from them? Shug their shoulders?

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Fine. You know, what did you do at school today? Nothing. Right? That's the answer. Shug shoulders,

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right? If you ask them, as I did, my young kid today, what went well today? You get a different

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answer because you're forcing the CEO of the brain to hunt for good data. Not a problem,

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not a crisis, not a complaint, not a worry, not a loss, but something good. It doesn't mean we

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ignore opportunities, miss it doesn't mean that at all. It just means we keep the CEO train those

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neural pathways, your brain's neuroplastic, you know, train your brain to be able to hunt for what

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goes well. So that's one tip, Simon. But can I give you another top tip? Yeah, please. Listening in.

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There's something called the Pygmalion effect and the Golem effect. The Pygmalion effect describes

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the performance and someone that you lead or manage dependent on the level of expectation you

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have on that person. So let's say you were a teacher and you believe that little Jemima is

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great at maths. You've seen it before and you think, because she's learning, she makes a few

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mistakes, but yeah, you think, oh, you know what? She's just progressive and then she sits

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the test and she comes back from that test and you say something to her like, you know,

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I knew you were going to do that well. You know, I knew you were going to get a great mark there.

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That's a healthy level of high expectation. What we know is that when we have a high level

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of expectation or someone we lead parent to each, we can actually see an improvement in their grades.

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That's improvement in their performance. And it comes from the mythological story of this

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chap called Pygmalion, who was chiseling a statue away, an inanimate statue of a woman

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who he thought was so beautiful, he literally made the statue start to come alive according to

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what he was seeing in his mind. Okay, so that's the mythological story, but the science shows

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that it happened. The golem effect is the opposite Simon. The golem effect is if I have a low level

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of expectation on little Jemima, what will Jemima wasn't going to do well on that test?

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You know, how much did she get? Oh, she got 95%. Ah, she got 5% wrong, you know, so and so got 96.

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If we have this constant low level of expectation on little Jemima, what we end up seeing is

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we crush their performance, their performance and grades go down.

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So now we turn this back for manager, we go, you know what, there's a lot that your guys and girls

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can do to improve their performance and mindset. But you also have some keys, you're not completely

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disabled, you can actually start to make some tweaks by shifting your leg, making sure you

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don't become the wicked, evil stepmother in Rapunzel. You know what I mean? Or that that

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super critical hostile cold and frosty, because we're humans at the end of the day. We want to

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make sure that we're keeping expectation high. It's such a in the motor trade. I know that so

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many times we're guilty of saying, well, that was wrong, and that was wrong, and that was wrong,

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and that was wrong. And we keep on telling them everything that was wrong there, and that's the

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expectations, not like, ah, that did well. I think it was Kenneth Blanchard wrote in his book,

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The One-Minute Manager. He said, what we do is management sometimes. It's a game of 10-pin

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bowling, okay? We throw the ball down, and you see the pins go down. You've got to result,

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but what happens is, definitely in the motor trade, we put a sheet in between the pins

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and the person bowling. So throw the ball down. I know I've got a result there, but I know what it is,

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okay? And then what we do is we put a manager on the other side of the sheet. We throw the balls

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down, okay? They hear the thing, and the manager says on the other side, you've got six. I always

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have a laugh about that. No. In the motor trade, we say, you missed four. What happened? Yeah,

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missed four. Why do we, Simon, why do we do, why does this happen? What's your thoughts on it?

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Listen, I want to ask you, you're the person who's been to medical school, I hope that.

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I hope you can tell me, why do we always look for what we missed, what we missed out on?

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Is it a human trait there? Do we want more as humans?

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Well, let's go back to an example we're very familiar with. You and I are both parents,

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and so when we were thinking about our kids walking for the first time, learning to walk,

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every time, you know, a little baby gets up, they're surfing on the couch, and then they fall

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on their big, spongy backside. What do we go? Oh, why? You're doing amazing. Try again. You try again,

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they fall over. Oh, that was such an amazing fall. You're doing so well. And it's with that

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leadership that they one day start to walk. And isn't it interesting that there comes a time when

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we switch from that mood into, yeah, you missed four.

429
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Isn't so true. But here's, oh, go on.

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Let's go say, but in the motor trade, I don't know if it's just our industry. I've only worked

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on the motor trade. Yeah, listen, sometimes it's like our managers, they'll turn around and say

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to your young child, okay, you've got three children. Turn around and say, can you not see

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everyone else can walk in the family except for you? Okay, listen, I'll show you one more time.

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It's not that hard. In fact, your sister, she was actually walking which was 11 months,

435
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,760
and listen, you're 11 and a half months. So listen, I'll show you one last time,

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if you can't do it, we're going to sell you on eBay. You wouldn't do that with the kid learning

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to walk. So let me give you an example from the medical sphere then.

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So when I was a junior doctor, okay, so I've done five years of medical school,

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and I rock up to the ward as an intern, as you, I guess, was the phraseology back then.

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And when the big boss consultant, the big boss consultant that everyone follows around goes from,

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you know, patient bedside to patient bedside. You know, old school guy

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asks me, you know, have you, have you got the x-ray word? Have you done the blood? Why haven't

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you done this? Why haven't you done that? The number of mistakes that I made, because I was

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afraid in my interaction with this person, right? And what we know is when we study this,

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and actually medical cultures changed, we studied this. The level of criticism,

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hostility, and fear is related to a poorer delivery of service, more patient errors,

447
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:46,840
misidentifications, prescription errors, things like that, dropping the ball,

448
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,520
left, right, center. I find it hard to believe that it doesn't translate across industries.

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Do I mean? It's exactly that. So many times I see managers. I was guilty of it. Turn around

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and say, you haven't done this. You haven't done that. You do it this way. You do that. The people,

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the poor people, brand new, they don't want to act for fear. Every time I do it, I get it wrong

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anyway. So why do we do that? It definitely transfers across. That just leads me to say that all

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details of this episode and other episodes on the selling in the motor trade can be found on our

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website Symcotraining.co.uk. Go there to get a copy of our book, Words That Sell Cars.

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00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:30,600
Go there to sign up to a free trial of our sales fitness online sales training program.

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00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:37,960
Easiest way to get hold of me is Simon Bowkett through LinkedIn. Thank you.