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Welcome to just one person, a podcast where I dedicate each season
sharing a remarkable true story.
Together we're gonna discover how just one person can shape us, inspire,
hope, and sometimes even save us.
I'm your host, Lisa Bloom.
The season's story begins in the fall of 2022 when I was
searching for a new hairstylist.
I got Stephanie's number from a close friend.
Sent her a quick text and she responded instantly with, of course, beautiful.
I would love to cut your hair.
That one message gave me a glimpse into who Stephanie is.
She's kind, generous, and welcoming.
And over the next three years, Stephanie and I became very close friends, openly
sharing stories about our parents relationships, and interestingly religion.
I was consistently surprised by the memories Stephanie would share with
me about her childhood and adulthood.
Her stories were heart wrenching, and yet her demeanor and spirit
were always upbeat and positive.
Then in the fall of 2023, I. I walked into Stephanie's salon expecting a
normal appointment, but she had a sad and serious look that wasn't familiar.
What happened next would unfold into a story of resilience and the extraordinary
strength of a remarkable woman.
Stephanie's life was forever changed by the love of two people.
Each simply one person who inspired hope and ultimately saved her.
This is Stephanie's story, and it starts with this voicemail.
Uh, Stephanie, uh, it's bad and uh, I hate to leave you voicemail
on this, but I. I want you to realize the importance of the call.
I'm the preacher's
an empty shell
lost.
I was born a Texan, um, born in Houston, Texas.
I am pretty sure we lived in a suburb outside of Houston
for like the first two years.
I. Yeah, and then we moved shortly after that to whole Texas, which
I'm sure everyone's heard of.
Um, uh, yeah, Texas.
It's currently where one of the biggest sinkhole are, um, that made
the National Union News years ago.
So huge.
Um, it's a lake now, I'm pretty sure What.
But I haven't actually done the research to know if it's the largest thing called.
Got you.
I do remember, like, you know, of course I was a kid that was always
interested and curious in things.
I really felt like at one point I was probably a daddy's girl almost,
you know, like he really genuinely just doted over me when I was young.
I remember.
Go into the bank and my dad had a little office and I sat on Santa's lap.
So what did your mom do during that time?
That's what I can't remember.
Um, because like I said, she was a nurse by trade, but once we moved
to, um, Hull, Texas where, you know, all the relatives were, I, I don't
know if she was working or not.
I knew my dad worked at the bank, but I don't know if my mom was working.
I cannot remember.
She was an rn, right?
Yeah.
She might've been a stay at home mom.
I'm not sure.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Stephanie has taught me that trauma impacts our memories, and we often
use our emotions over the facts.
I read the book called The Body Keeps the Score, and it explains that when it
comes to trauma, we remember the emotions of feeling, fear and powerlessness.
Instead of remembering the painful facts of what took place to help Stephanie
remember her trauma timeline, we, along with our partners, decided to
take a trip to Texas and Louisiana.
We visited many of the 11 places where she lived between the ages of one and 17.
Our group, now known as the pod, hit the back roads with equipment Intel.
Stephanie's bravery.
Was incredible.
It was an emotional journey filled with tears and laughter by each of us.
And by the end of those four days, we knew our friendship was cemented in stone.
My mom is still, this is something I'm still working on.
Actually, my mom is still a big question mark in my life, but I
don't remember her lovingly like loving, like my dad loved me.
I mean, even all my old pictures, you know, it's like my dad's on
the bed with my Easter basket, you know, my dad's with my Christmas
and you know, whatever I have.
We didn't have, um, costumes that weren't homemade.
So, um, I ended up having the foil arms and I just remember thinking I was
the coolest thing ever, like, standing there in my big foil, arms, superwoman,
costume, and we were out in the country.
Uhhuh, I mean, so it, it was just different being raised out in the country.
Yes.
I mean, so I, I, you know, I did get spanked as a normal southern child did.
Mm-hmm.
Um.
Don't fault my parents for that at the time because they were normal.
Pick a switch parents at that point.
And um, wait, let's pause for a minute for our listeners.
What does it mean to pick a switch?
Oh my goodness.
So you go out.
To a bush in the front of your yard and you literally find your own stick to pull
off of that bush to get spanked with.
Wow.
It's the worst thing possible.
It's like, um, a walk down death lane, basically.
Yeah.
Like you're walking to pick your own beating basically.
It's true.
I had a southern mama, so I know what you're talking about.
Mm-hmm.
But those who don't have a southern.
Background.
It is always a shocker when I share that.
Yeah.
It's like, what?
That's child abuse.
And it's like, well that happens back then, that's all they knew.
Yeah.
I will be honest, they weren't doing it to be abusive or anything.
It was just the way of disciplining your child in the south at
that point in the country.
And you know, this was years ago.
So we've learned a lot, thank goodness.
And your mama's parents, how did they fall into play your.
In your life?
Well, my mom's mom is the one that we live closest to, um, distance wise.
And then, like my cousins were actually closer in age with us, and,
and they lived nearby too by her.
And so with her, she was the kind of grandma that.
We just all get dropped off at her house on the weekends and
just, you know, roll the forest.
And she was also deaf.
And so a hundred percent, well, I mean, I thought it was a hundred percent,
but obviously she could hear some, because we could talk to her, but you
could hear her hearing aids squealing all the time because she would, you
know, kind of tune us out, you know?
Oh my gosh.
She could like keep her silencer on and we'd just hear her hearing
aids squealing and she wouldn't, so.
I think there were like 7, 8, 9, 9 of us total.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's not all of us would be there at the same time, but most of the
time it was six to seven of us.
We had a blast out there.
We had this place, we called it the a hundred acre woods, although it was not.
And then my cousin, the one that was like six months-ish, uh, older than I was.
They went to the Baptist church, but it wasn't like the type of Baptist
church that's like the wild ones.
Theirs was also very, very calm.
And so we went to like the little Bible study for kids, and I remember
we got to make ceramic cats and paint them one time and I just was like, I.
This is so cool.
Like,
um, my parents were, oh, you know, it's got all kinds of names.
They were non-denominational, charismatic, evangelical,
fundamentalists, that kind of category.
So they believed in, of course, the Trinity Salvation.
Things like that.
But they also believed in like speaking in tongues.
Um, they, you know, were the type that were dancing all over the
church, you know, things like that.
Yeah.
Did you have a traditional hymns?
Music?
We had more of a praise and we called it Praise and Worship.
Mm-hmm.
And those were like, you know, you could have a band, you know, backing you up.
It was just like an emotional upheaval basically, like of people just started
feeling, I think all kinds of things.
And these.
These praise and worship services like would just go on and on.
Sometimes.
Sometimes the pastor would start preaching and the music would
still be playing behind him.
My dad's parents' church, my Mimi and Pop pop, they went to this tiny
Methodist church in Saratoga, Texas.
I. Which once again, I'm sure we've all heard of.
Um, and I think they had maybe five people in their congregation and they
were all in the brink of, you know, being, you know, in the grounds.
Let's be honest.
Um, there was an old, old church and, but I just loved it.
Oh my gosh.
It was.
I mean, maybe a 30 minute service, we'd have cake afterwards.
These little old people were just so sweet.
And so it was like the most calm thing and I, I always remember thinking
like, oh, I just love this so much.
It's so calm and peaceful.
How did my dad end up from that to like this, you know,
crazy, wild evangelical thing.
So, typical childhood.
Typical childhood.
When we were on our travels in Texas, the stop that sticks out the most for me.
Was when we went to Mimi and Pop Pop's house.
Stephanie was so happy when we pulled up to their house.
This driveway.
Go ahead and pull in the, this.
None of this existed you guys, this property was clear.
There was like a beautiful sun porch on the front.
The garage is right there.
Some porches on the right.
I have my own bedroom.
My Mimi though, she's fucking feisty.
You guys shut up this house.
He, she just.
Made me feel very loved.
There was a pond, trees.
He had a green house.
Oh my god, you guys, he had gardens.
Aw.
But I spent a lot of time with him.
You know, it was still great to like go out there 'cause it was so far out.
But there was a sadness, realizing it's like the house didn't
exist, it just disappeared.
Stephanie's parents begin building their family on the belief that
discipline was used as a sign of love, and the Bible was their roadmap
for how to live a godly life and to raise their children to also be godly.
So I'd have been about seven years old.
They probably sat us down and tried to explain it in the best way they knew
how, but I don't remember that at all.
Okay.
Um, I just, it's like I remember being in Texas and then I remember being in
Louisiana and my dad having a church.
I just felt immediate stress and so yeah, we moved to Homer, Louisiana and um,
that was my dad's first church and we.
My sister, brother and I officially became pks, which are preacher's kids.
As soon as my dad was a pastor, or it did feel performative where we had to
be good children that were well behaved and sat on the front row and wanted
to praise God more than anyone else.
You know?
I mean, it was, it was a lot of pressure.
I first of all hated living in Louisiana.
I missed.
Our life in Texas, um, because that is where our family was and where
I felt that love and that safety, like our lives became different.
I started feeling the stress of their pastor life.
Uh, you could tell when things weren't going quite well in
the church or who knows, they probably had financial problems.
I'm, I'm sure there was a whole.
A plethora of things that were adding up to the stress they were
feeling outside of just the church.
I'm sure there were other things, but as a child I could feel that
you could, I could feel that they weren't that happy any longer.
I could feel that they were stressed.
My dad was becoming, I guess, more of a Christian as time went by.
But yeah, it, um, it just, I don't know, it just changed things.
I and I, it changed our family dynamic and I, I. I really just
did not like being there either.
If you could have a conversation with him and ask him a question about that time,
like when he became a minister and you felt the stress in that first year or
two, three years, what would you ask him?
I, I would just wanna know like, what was, what was the.
The switch for him, like why did we go from being normal to all of
a sudden he, he just didn't feel.
Like the same dad anymore, like what happened in that timeframe
that changed everything?
What do you think he would say?
I think he would, he would tell me about his calling from God.
You do.
I do,
my Mimi and my pop pop, they were my person.
Aw, they were my people and I dearly love them still with all my
heart, even though they're gone.
Um, they helped me understand what love is.
I. This season on just one person.
I ended up in a room.
He said, don't move.
Complete silent treatment.
Made me hold a pistol to my head.
Kept telling me to pull the trigger.
Told me to kill myself Over and over again.
I had a client in the chair.
I was weeping and then trying to gather myself together enough to
deal with what I just heard, and I just had to swallows so hard.
And just get myself together to calm down enough to have this conversation
because I knew he was a ticking time bomb.
If you or someone you know is affected by abuse or is in need of
support, resources are available.
And we have them listed in the episode notes, or you can call the Child
Help National Child Abuse Hotline.
It's 1 804 a child available 24 7.
You can also text four Hope 2 7 4 1.
7 4 1. We also have resources listed on our website at
www.justonepersonpodcast.com.
Listen to just one person on Spotify, apple Podcast, or
wherever you get your podcast.
Visit just one person podcast.com for more information.
If you enjoy this podcast, please share it with a friend and follow us on
Instagram at just one person podcast.
Podcast, just one person is produced by J one P Productions executive, produced by
me, Lisa Bloom, lead producer and story editor, Carrie Caulfield and our sound
designers, Amida Ra and Alejandro Ramirez.
A special thanks to voice actor Scott McKenley portraying Stephanie's.
Dad, our heartfelt thank you to Stephanie's partner, Melissa
Weaver, and my wife Julie Leski for being a part of the podcast team.
Also to Stephanie's three close friends, Krista, Anisa, and Becks
for participating in this series.
Music for this podcast is from Epidemic Sound and Stripe original music recorded
and performed by our first season's guest.
Stephanie Michelle.
And the Michelle Michelle Band.