Scott Anthony Barlow: Caroline hit her breaking point just shy of 18 years.
Caroline: I woke up one day, and I thought, "I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore."
Scott Anthony Barlow: She didn't just change jobs or companies. She hit full-on, full-stride burnout. She took a two-year career break, moved countries, and then faced the terrifying question that haunts so many people.
Caroline: I knew that I wanted to and I needed to go back to work, and I didn't know how to do that.
Scott Anthony Barlow: There's an odd phenomenon that happens for many people when they've stayed in the same company or industry for a long time. Strangely, we see that it happens at year 8, year 13, and even when you're 18 years into the same organization.
These aren't random numbers. They represent the moments when the shine has completely worn off. But when you've mastered many skills that you've needed, you're no longer challenged in the same way, and staying feels like slowly dying professionally. Caroline's story isn't just about coming back from a career break. In this episode of the Happen To Your Career podcast, we'll break down how Caroline came back stronger, with clearer boundaries, and found work that actually fits her life.
Caroline: First, let's understand what led to her breaking point. Caroline had been with one of the Big Four accounting firms for 17 years. And from the outside, this looked like success. Big company, good money, global opportunities, but here's what was really happening underneath.
I think a number of setbacks. Not getting the promotion opportunities or roles being changed, and no longer qualifying for promotion opportunities. By this, I mean challenging characters and having to navigate, just the stakeholders, but your teammates, your colleagues, and everyone's individual agendas.
Scott Anthony Barlow: The system she was in was forcing competition instead of collaboration. And for someone whose strength is building relationships and simplifying complexity, this created constant friction for her. But Caroline kept going year after year until her body and her mind had said enough.
Caroline: I have ticked all of the boxes that I needed to be able to manage my home life, and my work life, and my personal preferences. I woke up one day, and I thought, "I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore." But at the same time, I have a family. I have financial responsibilities. I just knew I had a big choice to make.
Scott Anthony Barlow: So that's the moment. That moment right there when staying becomes more painful than the fear of leaving. But what many people don't talk about is what comes after that, what comes after you make that choice. Caroline's decision wasn't just to leave; it was to completely reset her whole life.
Caroline: I hit burnout. I had low self-confidence. I resigned from a company that I had worked with for 17 years. I moved countries. Additionally, I had always been a city dweller and made the decision to move to the countryside, buy a house that needed huge renovation, and at the same time, at the back of my mind, I knew that I wanted to, and I needed to go back to work. And I didn't know how to do that.
Scott Anthony Barlow: Okay. I wanna pause here because I think this is crucial. Caroline didn't just take a break. I know I said that earlier. But what she was doing here was she was completely dismantling her old life. I. She literally moved to a new country, a new living situation in that new country, knew everything. And then after two years away, she had to figure out how does she rebuild professionally?
And I think this is where the real challenge begins for anyone returning to work after a career break. It's not just the practical stuff, it's the psychological stuff that's really challenging, the confidence that's been eroded, the voice in your head saying, "Who are you kidding?"
Caroline: So I was really struggling to see how I could go out into the market and say, "I do stuff. Just trust the magic, and I will deliver results." Because essentially that is how I felt. That's what I did. And you know, that is not how you communicate in the professional world.
Scott Anthony Barlow: This one trap catches so many people returning to work. You know you're capable. You've delivered results in the past, but you can't quite figure out how to package and communicate that in a way that makes sense to the people you're interacting with, potential employers, decision makers, especially when your experience doesn't fit neatly into the standard job categories.
But that's where Caroline's story takes a massive turn. Instead of trying to force herself back into the same type of role, she did something completely different. She took the time to understand what she actually brought to the table.
Caroline: So the Gallup StrengthsFinder Assessment was the most important tool for me. Going through and identifying my strengths, there were a couple that surprised me, but ultimately, overall, it just helped me understand, not only what my strengths were, but really understand kind of what had potentially gone wrong in my previous role.
Scott Anthony Barlow: Okay. There's a lot of strengths assessments out there, so many, but I do think the process of understanding your strengths is crucial. It's actually something that we have almost everybody that we work with go through in some form or another because it allows you to hone in on how you best contribute and then be able to articulate that in a way that is very different, and changing that communication makes so much more possible for you.
So before you start applying for jobs, you need to understand your transferrable value and not just what you did in your previous roles, not just what's on a resume, but your natural talents, your abilities that continue to bring you results.
Caroline: Taking the output from the Gallup StrengthsFinder Assessment helped me do two things. One, understand why my previous role and environment were not the right place for me. But two gave me platforms, language that I could use to communicate my strengths to the market.
Scott Anthony Barlow: I think what most people get wrong about returning to work after a break, they think they need to apologize for the gap somehow or prove that they're still current. But Caroline discovered something that was much more useful, and I'd say much more powerful than that. Being clear about what she wanted going forward.
Caroline: So I was really looking for an environment that aligned with my values. Leadership that was authentic. Colleagues who want to collaborate to deliver results, and an environment where I was able to use my skillsets as well as develop new ones. And then from a practical point of view, I was looking for a company that was open to flexible working, reduced hours, and working from home as well.
Scott Anthony Barlow: I think this is another area that goes against what everybody says that you should do. You know, so much advice out there is "don't be picky after a career break." But personally, I believe that if you're not picky with how you spend your time, someone else will decide for you. And that's what Caroline experienced when she was burnt out.
Strangely, it's also what led her to subscribe to this very podcast, and I would absolutely encourage you to do the same. Take a moment, click, follow, or subscribe so that you get notified every time we release an episode, and you can continue learning how to get work that fits. Also, here's the simple truth that Caroline learned and what I think you need to know if you're considering returning to work.
Caroline: Just let people know what you are looking for and let them decide if you're asking for too much or it's impossible.
Scott Anthony Barlow: Okay, this is almost revolutionary. Instead of assuming that you need to take whatever's offered because you've been away, Caroline flipped the script. She got clear on what she needed, and then she let others decide if they could meet those needs. The result, a role that checked literally every box that she had on her ideal career profile.
Caroline: I have a role in, you know, a mid-size entrepreneurial company. I work three days a week, 24 hours split across four days. And one of those days, I go into the office. So, from a practical perspective, I have ticked all of the boxes that I needed to be able to manage my home life, my work life, and my personal preferences.
Scott Anthony Barlow: I wanna break apart a quick set of misconceptions about how this happens. It's not usually like you define everything and then, miraculously, you go get this amazing job offer. Sometimes it works out that way, but rarely. Usually, there's a lot of steps in between. So I want to share one of them here, because the kicker in this case is that Caroline got an initial offer and it didn't meet her needs, but then she had the courage to hold her ground.
Caroline: When I first received the offer for this role, it didn't align with my ideal career profile in a few different ways. And it was more around the flexibility and the money. I thanked them for the opportunity, but said that I couldn't compromise on the salary and the flexibility to that level, at this point in time. I focused on the value and the experience that I was bringing.
Scott Anthony Barlow: Fast forward two weeks in the future, they came back with an offer that worked. It checked all those boxes we mentioned earlier because Caroline had done the work to understand her value and what she wanted and what she needed, and then to communicate it clearly instead of operating from fear.
So if you're considering returning to work after a career break, here's what I think Caroline's story teaches us. First, don't rush back into what you were doing before. Use the break as an opportunity to get clear on what you actually want.
Second, understand your transferable value. This is a big deal, not just your job titles, not just your specific experiences, but the fundamental strengths and abilities that work to allow you to create results. So important.
And third, be willing to have honest conversations about what you need. Don't assume something is impossible just because it's uncommon or because you haven't heard of it before.
But I think this is the biggest thing, taking a career break doesn't make you less valuable. Although over the last, I don't even know how many years we've been doing this at this point, since 2012, we've seen it over and over and over again, where once people are gone for even a short period of time, they come back, and it takes a toll on you.
It makes you feel less valuable. Should it? No. But it makes us human, and that humanness can work against you in this case. You are not actually less valuable. In fact, it might make you more valuable because you're returning with clarity about what you want and having the courage to ask for it.
Caroline: My personal win from this whole process is possibly going back to that beginning and being that person that has the courage to try.
Scott Anthony Barlow: I don't think hitting a breaking point has to be the end of your career story, even though it feels like it a lot of times when you get there. But instead, I think it's exactly what you need to start a better chapter than you've ever experienced before.
If you're facing your own potential breaking point, whether you're at year 8, or 13, or 18, or somewhere in between all that, maybe it's time to consider that taking a step back might be the best way to move forward. Or at the very least, if you can't take a step back getting clear on what you want.
If you're already on a career break and you're wondering how to return, or you want to make a transition, we'd love to help support you. Just drop me an email, Scott@happentoyourcareer.com. Put 'Conversation' in the subject line. I'll introduce you to the right person on my team, and we'll figure out the very best way that we can help you in your situation. Again, Scott@happentoyourcareer.com.