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Transcript: TGD EP 181

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Dr. Anna Cabeca: So I encourage all of you to take on your own challenges and believe in your ability to succeed. Don't let doubt keep you from shining or hold you back or keep you playing small. If not now, when? And the journey is just as important as the destination. So embrace every step with courage and confidence, being present in your life, in your ambitions every step of the way. And our age is not a limiting factor. And if there are things we need to do to set our goal high, to improve our health, to improve our abilities, our strength, each day we can get healthier and stronger. And it just takes one right next step at a time.

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Dr. Anna Cabeca: Hey, call 911. 911, what is your emergency? Help, doctor. My sex drive has no pulse. Feeling like your sex drive is on life support? You are not alone. I'm Dr. Anna Cabeca, and I've created Sexual CPR, a holistic program to bring the pulse back into your sex drive. In just four weeks, you'll discover how to boost your libido naturally, unlock the secret to deeper intimacy, and explore the anatomy of pleasure for intense toe-curling experiences. From balancing hormones to mastering the art of ooh-la-la sex, Sexual CPR offers practical advice, empowering knowledge, and the keys to a more fulfilling love life. Whether it's reigniting that spark, balancing hormones, or enhancing pleasure, Sexual CPR is here to guide you through. Don't let your passion flatline. Visit sexualcpr.com and breathe new life into your love life today. Your journey to better orgasms, renewed connection, starts now.

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Dr. Anna Cabeca: Welcome back to The Girlfriend Doctor Show. Now, I want to share with you that this episode that I've recorded, I actually recorded it in late June before I set out on my journey on the Camino de Santiago, which was in part a peace pilgrimage and in part a celebration of menopause. And I recognized that we do not celebrate menopause. We dread it. So what if we switched and what if I celebrated it with really marking an adventurous outing, and in this case, a pilgrimage. Well, I'm going to share with you, this episode was in preparation for a very spontaneous trip on the Camino de Santiago. And I want to share with you what actually happened on the journey, a few key things that I experienced and really felt supported with along the way. as well as some main lessons of this journey. This journey that was in celebration of my 58th birthday this year. Here we go. Have you ever stated out loud that you want to do something that was a stretch goal for you, and then to be met with naysayers, someone who said, okay, or people who said, no, you can't do that, or you're a dreamer, or what makes you think you can do that? Well, I want to talk during this episode about challenges and goals that we set for ourselves. And we have our own internal barometer of what we can do and what we can't do. And I love the saying from NASA that says, the sky is not the limit. We've proven that. So why not have big stretch goals? Well, recently, it's been seated in my heart for a long time to do this, actually, but it just really manifested that I am going to do and walk the Camino de Santiago. I'm going to walk the Portuguese route at the time of this recording. I'll start my walk in about 10 days. And I want to share with you how challenging this walk is. The route that I'm taking a section of the Camino along the Portuguese route, and it's 124 kilometers, so about 78 miles. So 78 miles walking, and I plan to do this in seven days. And I am sharing about this because it's been interesting, the feedback I've gotten. First of all, setting step goals and walking goals has not been a priority for me. It's not something I can do. I love to read. I love to research. I love to write. I love to do all those things. And I also commit weekly. I train, I do boxing or some other weight training at least three to four times a week regularly. So I do that. But walking had not been such a priority for me, but like a jump rope and do other things. And I walked during the day, but not to the extent that I was training to walk one hundred and twenty four kilometers. So as I announced this to one of my friends who is a hiker, he's like, oh, you'll never be able to do this. I mean, you know, maybe next year, but not this year. And then I asked, you know, and that really struck me like, wait, I think I can do this. Like to test myself, I went and I walked eight miles and one day and six miles the next day. Okay. Not a full, maybe my maximum on a day will be 20 miles. But at one time, I'm like, OK, I'm going to work up to this and I feel pretty good. So I checked in with myself and I said, OK, I need to train harder. And so I connected with another friend of mine, a friend of mine I've introduced to you guys, Natalie Jill, who collaborates with me on projects. We've done masterclasses together and she's a very good fitness coach and mentor. And a mindset coach, really, and she said, OK, she goes, this is awesome. I love how you just say you're going to do something and set out to do it. Right. But you got to walk two times a day, at least five miles twice a day, and then do some longer walks two or three days a week. 10 to 12 miles at a time. And I was like, OK, that's reasonable. And that was encouraging to me. It was like, no, you're not going to be able to do this. It's like, OK, you've got to prepare so that you are enjoying the journey and the hike and you're not suffering with blisters and your ankles sore, legs cramping and all that good stuff. And also my fitness trainer, one of my coaches that I hired, they are like, OK, we got to work on your knees and your ankles and your core and your back. And very encouraging to support me on this journey. And I feel very supportive of my daughters have been very supportive of me on this journey and that I want to take this time for myself. So July is my birthday month. I like to celebrate a birthday month. It's pretty powerful. And this July, I turned 58 years old. So it's my 58th birthday present for myself. And so let me tell you what the Camino Santiago is. It's really well known as a pilgrimage site to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela. And it is known as the site where St. James the Greater, one of the 12 apostles of Jesus, his bones were buried. And so pilgrims have come from around the world and really became popular in the 1400s, in the medieval times, that this pilgrims would come from all over and walk pilgrimage to the cathedral to be able to pray and feel the blessings of this holy place, this very holy place. Since then, the Camino is open. I mean, it's been open to all faiths, all travelers, all purposes. People go there for, do this Camino for many reasons. Some they're just hikers, some they're just curious. Others, they want to do the challenge and others have a spiritual root for it, whether they're Catholic, Christian or not. And so I love the story of Camino de Santiago and I know people have gone from around the world. And what I've since researched is that as long as you make 100 kilometers, you get your Compostela, you kind of get this passport stamp that says you've walked 100 kilometers of the Camino, but there are many routes, some as long as 500 kilometers, and you can do sections of it at a time and accumulate the roots from different places. Probably the most famous root is the French Camino, so it originates in Saint-Jean-de-Pierre. in France and goes across the Pyrenees mountains and is a very challenging, arduous hike. And that route takes about 30 days to hike. So I am doing the Portuguese route, which goes from the Southern aspect of West coast of Spain to the Northern aspect of Portugal. So it's right on the Portuguese Spanish border. that I'll be walking. A little bit of it's coastal, so I love the sea, so I can't wait to do that part. And it's about a moderate challenge. Not too many hills in Dallas for me to work on, but I've been working on stairs to get me ready. And this is really about my personal challenge and also the fact that once I set the revelation that once I really in my heart committed to do this Camino, I've at least walked five miles a day and trained an hour a day. So somehow my schedule opened up for me to do that. I was able to say yes to walking and no to certain other things or to combine listening to a course that I'm taking online or a training session or even just enjoying music on my walk or podcast and making that time to do this and saying no to other things, other distractions. And so far, so good. Now, I'll come back at some later podcast and share with you about the journey. But God willing, everything goes well and successful and my feet will be okay. So what am I going to preparing for this? I am walking with a weighted vest and I'm walking out my door and for however amount of time I have and then, you know, half that time and turning around and walking back. So we have a lake near us here where I live called White Rock Lake and it's 10 miles around the lake. So wanting to make that route this weekend at least once, if not twice. And last weekend I did the eight mile section of that route. So steps in the right direction. So wearing the weighted vest, I will be just carrying a light day pack and a waist pack, a fanny pack and a bottle of water. And in that pack, there's a few things that are essential for me that I know that is going to be part of it. One is Mighty Maca, for sure, because I have to alkalinize, decrease the acidity from the heat to the stress on my adrenals, get an inflammation that results from long, extensive walking. Plus, it's very hydrating. The second thing are electrolytes. I'll be carrying electrolytes with me to mix into my water to keep really well hydrated. So the most important thing is hydration on this trail, as well as some protein-rich snack. I'm going to Paleo Valley, beef jerky are some of my favorite things to keep with me, especially when I'm traveling. So I'm stocking up on those as we speak, as well as additional band-aids, a small first aid kit, just in case gets scraped on the road and change of clothes and a towel. And I think that's basically it. I have Marina wool socks. that I was advised to get and I'm using the sneakers that I'm training in right now as well as a raincoat a very lightweight rain poncho type thing because the weather is unpredictable at this time but there are rainy afternoons I'm told And along the way, because of the walk goes through many towns, there's places to eat. The hotels are cottages that I'll be staying in along the way because I decided not to sleep on the side of the trail. Anyway, not for me. I would very much enjoy experiencing the cuisine of the different towns as well as a good night's sleep as I set out for another walk, you know, 20 miles a day. A big part of this is mental and emotional preparation, is the mindset to this, is encouraging conversations with myself and with others and being prepared as possible, talking to other people that have done long hikes and that know how to prepare for a challenge like this, and really handling the doubters. So addressing our support system, the people that are a positive support network is crucial, and that motivates you, and handling the doubters. So how do you deal with negativity and skepticism from others? And how can you turn doubt into motivation? Well, that is something that I really first when one of my dear friends said, oh, you know, maybe plan for that next year. I was like, I'll show you. But then I checked in with myself. I said, OK, reality check here. Can you do this walk? So challenged myself and walked eight miles and recovered pretty well. However, my feet and the shoes recognize I should wear a second pair of socks and make sure my socks are a little bit taller than the edge of my shoe so that I don't get any blisters or sores. And again, you know, eight miles or 10 miles in a day is fine, but do that 10 miles twice a day, every day in a row for seven days in that training and I'm working up to it. So. That's my plan. So first of all, check into that skepticism or negativity and say, OK, what's real? What's not real? And what can I actually do? Test myself now, be prepared and move forward and also recognize, too, this is someone I really care about, that it was intended in kindness, that it was intended in kindness not to put me down or to doubt my abilities, but to say, hey, you haven't trained for this. You know, why don't you wait till next year? So I had to put it in perspective so I don't hold resentment towards that individual. So and creating it, converting it into a positive. So being able to have that open conversation, like I hear what you're saying, well, how can I become more prepared? in your opinion, in the short amount of time that I have to prepare two weeks. Okay, so that's an important reality check. So turn doubt into motivation, check in with yourself, what's real? What do we need to do to set ourselves up for success? So how do we set our high goals and set ourselves up for success? The importance of setting high and yet achievable goals is that it pushes our limits, right? It creates an excitement, a momentum that can really profoundly can be celebrated within our lives and celebrating within ourselves that we are playing big and not shrinking back. Oh, I'm 58. I shouldn't go on a long hike. Definitely not by myself. And what do you think of 124 kilometers? Let's turn it around. Good for you. You're going on a hike. You're doing this by yourself. This is amazing. I can't wait to hear about it. How can I join you on one of your walks? How can I help you? How can I support you? So that's really key that we switch this around. And then in goal setting, there's the SMART goals. And you probably heard this before, the acronym SMART, meaning specific, goal, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. so that you have these very specific goals that you can measure an outcome and that you can achieve. It can be a stretch goal. It's relevant to you in your life. For me, this is a spiritual and personal journey as I turn 58. So it's relevant to this. I'm healthy enough to do it. And it's time bound. It's in a certain amount of time you have that you're going to do it and accomplish it within this time frame. And again, I am not necessarily a better person for doing it. I'm not a worse person if I don't do it. Right. But I'm very curious to see what I experienced during that time. No cell phones, you know, no work during that week. Gosh, I don't know about you guys, but it sounds delightful. All right. So planning for success is creating, you know, by creating a detailed plan and timelines, we want to plan for success. You know, we have to create a plan. So detailed plan and a timeline. What is it? What does it look like? How can you achieve that and yet be flexible and adapt to changes when they occur? So this is, you know, when I talk about doing the Camino, I have to back up a little bit. One of my most inspiring individuals and friends is Dr. Anjali Aki. She's a longtime friend of mine, and I always call her St. Anjali. I mean, she's just this amazing spiritual person, and she's also Catholic. We've done rosaries together, and she just is so kind and intelligent and brilliant in so many ways, and she's such a giver. And so we had talked a few years ago about doing the Camino, and then we talked recently about doing the Camino de Santiago when I was going to be in Portugal. And then she couldn't come because she couldn't get away from her work, her clinic. She had other employees that were going to be out at the same time as the only date window that I had available. So at that point, I had said, OK, I'm not going to do it either. If you're not going, I'm not going with you. Plus, I know she knows all the history and all the stories of the saints better than I do. And then it just seeded in me. It kind of opened up. And the time that I was going to use in Portugal to go to the south of Portugal and the north of Portugal and different areas, certain things around that changed. And the timeframe opened up. That little seed that was planted in me just started growing. And I started searching Camino de Santiago. I started listening and I looked at the paths and I looked at, okay, what are the hotels and cottages look like on the routes? And the one that I'm most interested in, I reached out to a couple of organizations and it just fell into place. So I felt like, okay, that means this is right. This is the right time for me to listen, answer the calling that's been in my heart to do this hike. So for my 58th birthday, I've set a huge stretch goal for myself. And with that, working to prepare myself for success through nutrition, hydration, hiking, the physical fitness that's required beforehand, and then just going with the flow when I get there, going with the flow when I get there. And I think that's a really critical piece of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. So in recap, I just want to summarize the importance of embracing challenges. When you're called to do something, answering the call, if you are inspired, you have a vision, you have a hope, you have a dream, set up those high goals. and plan for success. So I encourage all of you to take on your own challenges and believe in your ability to succeed. Believe in your ability to succeed. Don't let doubt keep you from shining or hold you back or keep you playing small. If not now, when? Right? If not now, when? And the journey is just as important as the destination. So embrace every step with courage and confidence. being present in your life, in your ambitions, every step of the way. And our age is not a limiting factor. And if there are things we need to do to set our goal high, to improve our health, to improve our abilities, our strength. Each day we can get healthier and stronger. And it just takes one right next step at a time. So I thank you guys for listening to me about my journey and my ambition to walk the Camino de Santiago. And I encourage you guys to visit me at dranna.com. Be sure you're subscribed to my newsletter. We have some special events and webinars and masterclasses and things coming up. So be sure to subscribe to dranna.com for more resources and to connect with me on social media at The Girlfriend Doctor. I invite you back to listen to future episodes as well as past episodes, always striving to bring you the best content And open honest conversation. I love being your girlfriend doctor till next time well now that you know where my mindset was as I prepared for the Camino de Santiago And what I thought was going to be a 78 mile pilgrimage turned into a hundred mile pilgrimage And over seven days, so walked 100 miles over seven days. That's over 150 kilometers. And I did the Portuguese coastal route of the Camino de Santiago. And as I headed out, I really didn't know what to expect. As you heard, wasn't sure, was I really prepared physically to do this? Well, I'm happy to say that I did make it through and I felt like I could keep going. But at the end of each day, my feet ached. And there were times where I feel like I couldn't make another step. But yet what's beautiful is that you then rest, sleep, and wake up and do it all again, and again, and again, and the transformation that happens. And I think as you realize that all you have to keep doing is keep putting one foot in front of the other, right? Keep taking one step at a time as you go through the journey, sometimes very rough terrain of steep hills or, you know, long steps and staircases. There are some incredible physical challenges, but you take it one step at a time. And it's such a analogy to life in general. And as I met other people that were either perimenopause, menopause, of course, I have these discussions along the way. So just be wary if you do meet me along the path, we're probably going to have some deep discussions and as well as women well postmenopause. And on the last day of the journey, when I entered the Compostela de Santiago, the area of the Cathedral of St. James, and as I visited St. James Cathedral, it was just awe-inspiring. Now, I did a daily video vlog, essentially a vlog, each day, and I posted it in my Instagram channel at The Girlfriend Doctor. So day one through day seven of the journey, as well as the week after, the processing of the week after, which is actually where I am at the time I'm recording this part, this addendum for you right now. is reflecting on all the lessons that I've learned. And one thing that really stood out for me was at the place where I was staying in Santiago, it was the Hospederia. And it is a seminary, but there are pilgrims that come from all over and stay there. And I saw this elder couple In their seventies, you know, I suspected mid to late seventies, but I asked them and she's was 72 years old and he was mid seventies. And I asked them how many years they've been, you know, was this their first Camino? And she said, no, we've been hiking for 30 years, different aspects of the Camino, sometimes the same trail over and over again for 30 years. And they've been doing this together as a couple. They're from Germany. And I was so impressed. And I asked her, I said, you know, you're in your seventies. And sometimes I see, and I'm faced with women much younger than her or even me that are giving up on themselves. And she said, why should anyone give up on themselves? The process is to keep moving and to keep refining. And that word refining just stuck with me. And it wasn't about redefining or defining yourself. It's refining. And if you think that oftentimes for me, I've been burnt out in my life, right? Burnt out. But in the process of being burnt out, I was being refined at the same time, as long as we follow the principles to keep moving, to keep putting one step in front of the other, to keep getting up. And that was powerful. So her message to all of us is that don't give up on yourself. Keep refining. And I love that. At the end of that day, after that breakfast, I went back into my room in the seminary, and I wrote this. I'm going to read to you from my journal. It is not very refined, but this is what it is right now. And I reflected on that concept of being burnt out and then doing hard things and just to keep doing it. And so this is what I wrote. I've done hard things in my life. I've given birth, and then I did it again and again. I've said goodbye forever on earth to people I loved with all my heart, to my mother, my son, my father, and my cousin Grace, who's like a sister. I've been married and then divorced. I did the hard things getting my medical degree, going through training and residency, and getting a board certified again and again and again. I owned my own businesses and then closed it and opened a new one. I've moved to Texas, hauled horses and keep hauling them and drive a big do truck. I've been burned out and then refined in the fire and emerged again and again And again, I've watched loved ones suffer, witnessed the Palestinian genocide, and I've cried and cried again and again and again. And I've walked the Camino all day till I felt like I couldn't take another step because my feet and my legs ached. But I woke up. and did it again and again and again. The pain became a distant memory. I realize I can do the hard things and the pain is not remembered. What is left is gratitude and love and the realization that I was never alone with that again, I thank you for being in the girlfriend doctor club and the girlfriend doctor community and If you do watch those videos that I posted on Instagram and we'll put a playlist together for YouTube I would love your feedback and your comments to be honest as I Posted and the feedback and comments that I received from my community was just so encouraging and inspiring And that's when you really do realize that why we can be doing something for ourselves There is that ripple effect on others in the world, and I want to keep being that grace and blessing to you in your life. So I thank you. I thank you for being here. Till next time, this is Dr. Anna Cabeca.