Seven figure success starts when you start thinking like a CEO.
Welcome to the John Kitchens Coach podcast experience as your host, John Kitchens.
Get ready to think bigger and transform your business into
a path to lasting freedom.
What is happening?
How are you doing, sir? Good, man.
Good to see you.
Life.
Life has, uh, life has accelerated for you.
Just a, just a little bit.
Yes.
It's a little bit different than, uh, previous, uh, chats we've had for sure.
Yes, yes.
Uh, you know, you go from building a house to, uh, you know, now,
now adding two car seats, so Yes.
Yeah.
Life, life does accelerate.
It's, it's wild.
Right?
We, uh.
Was always told, right.
You know, where you're young.
And sometimes the days would seem like they go on forever and, you know, the
old, the old wise folks would, uh, you know, chime in and be like, listen,
it just, it only goes faster and.
You know, I, I feel it.
Like sometimes I'll look, I'll just even like look at the clock and it
feels like the minutes are going faster and I'm like, what is happening here?
So, yeah.
Well, funny.
Well, look, you gotta remember, I'm still in that phase right now where it feels
like it's not moving and I keep telling myself, we will be out of this phase soon.
Right?
A newborn at home, you feel like it's kind like, man, it's been a, a year now.
You know?
Yeah, yeah.
But again, it's, it's, it's a fun stage.
You just gotta go through it.
Uh, the tough, yeah.
To get to the fun, exciting ones.
So, yeah, I, you know, I missed a lot just because I, you know, my youngest
one, I think I was, I was 25, 26, 27 when I had the two under two as well.
Yeah.
And, and so, you know, there's, there's certain things in
there that I look back now.
And it's just like, dang, you know?
Yeah.
You can't get those times back.
And that's what I always, always push and, and tell, tell, you know, folks,
especially with, with new kiddos, and I'm like, man, just enjoy it as, as much
as you possibly can because you, it, you will blink and it, it's, it's, it's over.
Yeah.
Um, and you, you know, it's the.
Crawling into bed with you to, you know, you know, they get to a certain point
then, you know, they're off and they're living their own lives and, and so, you
know, like my, you know, my oldest is in Germany about to, you know, get Oh wow.
Get res stationed back to South Korea.
I talk to 'em once or twice a month.
Yep.
Um, and so, you know, it's just when they get to that, to that certain
point, so I just, I can't stress it enough to, you know, slow down
and enjoy it as much as you can.
Well, I mean, that's something we definitely, we, we've prided
ourselves on, on doing that.
Right.
Um, you know, and I'm sure we'll get into it with some of the things we've,
of course adjusted and changed in the business side of things to, to make
sure that, 'cause I saw that, I saw a lot of, you know, other people very
similar to you as, you know, wasn't, I don't say wasn't there as much, but,
you know, that was one thing I just, I didn't, didn't I of enjoy those moments?
It does go by quick and you see, you know, I'm an observer of other people
around me, and you're like, man, let me be a little bit different.
Mm-hmm.
And be present and, and enjoy that early, those early stages of life.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
And, and, um, you know, I mean that's the whole, you know,
wisdom side of things too, right?
Is just being able to observe and, and, you know, either follow
the path or, or course correct.
From, from that, from that path.
So it's, it's really good.
Um, how's, how's the golf game?
I, I don't know.
I saw somebody, I was actually at the grocery store the other day and I ran
into an old buddy and he said, he is like, you still playing a lot of golf?
I'm like, uh, I think I, I have played two rounds of golf since
last August in a year, so, yeah.
Yeah, it's same thing.
It's temporary as well.
I was like, it ain't going nowhere.
It, it's, no, it's wild.
As, as long as, you know, you, you and I have been playing.
I mean, it's, it's really one of those things that like, I, I.
I never really understood.
And you, you, we've, we've heard the stories to where, uh, you know, examples
of, you know, great golfers and you, you look back in, you know, during World War
II and, and back through history where they would, they would, they would go
for, for years, but mentally they kept.
All the moves and playing everything out in their head, and they
would be able to come right back and almost pick right back up.
Yeah.
Um, without seemingly, you know, obviously a little bit of feel and a
little bit of stuff has to come back in, in time, but the overall full
swing and the mechanics of it, just because you've gotten so many reps Yeah.
Um, you know, for you thinking about that.
'cause, uh, this, I, I love this conversation when it
comes to visualization because.
Us growing up playing golf, that was kind of the, the first thing, right.
You know, it's like, you know, Jack Nicholas and then obviously Tiger the same
way is like, you never, you never hit a shot until you can see it in your mind.
Yeah, and I think, I think for me, and, and I'd love to hear your
take on it, so for me, you know.
First picking up a club when I was seven and like being taught that.
Right.
You know, pick your line, pick your target, set your feet, set your
target, but see it in your mind.
So I didn't know any different.
So that was everything that I always did, even going through school.
Um, you know, being able to, to go into jobs and especially like early
on was like working construction.
Doing construction.
Like I could see.
Like a finished product come, come to life.
Yeah.
So like for you, how has that played, played a role in, you
know, for you with, obviously with the golf side of things, but also
carrying it over into the business?
Yeah, I mean I think it, it goes back to, you know, the
visionary, um, role of things.
And I, and, and I agree with you 'cause it's funny, you know, bringing
golf into it real quick was that was.
You know, again, haven't played a whole lot, but played for the first
time in little Charity terminal with some buddies, and it was one
of those things where like, guys, I ain't touched a club in nine months.
It's gonna be ugly.
Right.
When we got done, it was like, man, I felt like I played five
days a week for the last year.
Like it was still, you know, to step back into it where, you know,
it wasn't pretty, but at the same time, you're right where I was.
It's just muscle memory of being able to do it.
Well, I have done it so many times.
Um, but also too, like you said, you're stepping up to it and you're visualizing,
Hey, I've, I've done this shot.
Thousands of times.
Right.
It's just remembering it and bringing those muscles back
into kind of the swing process.
But yeah, I mean, from business, I've always been one of those people as well.
I've always said, like I, I like to step back and I can picture things.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
Even for clients and things like that, like going to empty houses and always
joke like, some people go into empty houses, man, they can, they step into
an empty room, they cannot envision.
Where would the bed even, or whatever that is, right.
Um, to where I can look at and just visualize a finished product.
Um, I never really thought about it, how it tied in from where that could have
been from golf and going through that.
I won't say training and coaching growing up, but I, I've always been that way as
well where I've been able to envision that, you know, 2, 3, 4 steps ahead.
And I think that's helped me a lot on a lot of things as well.
Yeah.
Wife would say that I, you know, I'm always thinking.
You know, you just slow down and be in the moment for a second.
I'm like, well, that's just, boy, my brain works.
I'm always three, four steps thinking what's next?
What's next?
Or whatever.
It's, yeah.
Yeah.
Even, you know, on the golf side of things is we try to be as present with the shot,
but we're thinking about, you know, where, where, where the pin location is, where
we need to come off the tee to put, give us our, you know, the highest probability
to put the ball in the best position.
And, and I remember having a, a coach early on that we was.
I mean, that's how he broke down par fives for us too.
Right?
It's like, listen, like you can't, you gotta gain every par five.
You have to gain a shot.
And so, you know, you gotta set up your t shot to set up your second
shot to ensure that you're putting yourself in a, in the best probability
to pick up that, that four worst case.
Five.
But to your point, right?
It's, it's strategically thinking a couple, a couple
shots ahead and, you know.
Bringing that back into, into the business side of things as well is, is
being able to see that and navigate, especially as we navigate through
seasons of, of the business and, you know, one heck of an interesting season,
you know, we're all in right now.
Yeah.
You know, how are, how are you looking at things to, to, to kind
of navigate And, um, I would also love, you know, when you get down to.
Just, uh, you, you don't have an excessive amount of time anymore, right?
You've got the two kiddos, you've got the business, you've got, you
know, you know, family obligations, you've got husband obligations.
Um, and so you, you start to cut out what's, what's not necessary.
So like, like for you, how are you kind of seeing and visualizing and navigating
the moves ahead on the business, but but also with a limited amount of time?
Where are you putting your time and energy to make sure that the, that
business is still moving forward?
Yeah, I mean, just rewinding a little bit again, I mean, coming from the
changes that we've done over, you know, the last couple years going
into being a father and going into having our first son Carter, you know,
going from running a team, running the business, you know, independent firm
and things like that, and then just.
Again, it's funny, I've never really thought about this until you just went
through that last little piece, but you know, that was what we sort of me, and
when I say we, we, me and Jenny, we kind of sat down and said, Hey, what does, now
that we're right before we had Carter, and once we had Carter, it was like, what?
What do we ideally want our next.
Two years, three years, four years, five years to look like, right?
Yeah.
You know, we had different visions of each other, you know, things like that.
And of course my brain is all over the place at the time of, man, how can I
manage all of what I have right now?
But also going back to being present, being the father and, and the husband.
I wanna be over the next, you know, future basically going forward, you know?
And I think we really stepped back and we've dissected.
What does our day-to-day life look like?
What are the hours we have available?
What's necessary, what's not necessary.
And we made that shift to, you know, once we, a couple months after having
Carter, we made this decision to, Hey, I'm gonna step back from running a team.
And we had the conversation with individual agents and just said, look, you
know, I'm gonna, we're gonna pull back.
And most of the team went elsewhere, um, through guidance and things like that.
Um, but it was a smart move 'cause it allowed me to step into, back into, hey.
Brian's business.
You, you know, coming back into being a solo agent, if you wanna call it.
Um, still the CEO of my own personal business.
Sure.
But I'm also very present at home from the morning routines to the
evening routines and things like that.
I wanted to be there to be able to help to where it's, you
know, it's not all on Jenny.
Um.
And it's transition to that and, and I think it's one of those things where
we envision in that way, you know, if it was gonna work out, but here we are.
And it was scary when we made those changes.
But it's one of those things that I think it was by far the best decision we made.
Talk, talk me through, because I think this is, um, an important get for, for
a lot of folks and how do you kind of go about navigating, 'cause how many agents
did you, did you guys have before kind of stepping back into just, just you.
Total, including myself and Jenny and and staff.
We had nine.
Okay.
So talk me through how you go about making that and unpacking that and
disassembling it the right way.
Like kind of kind of how you went through that, that whole process.
'cause I think it's, is.
This is really important for people to understand that.
'cause most never think that, man, the best move is to,
is to unravel all of this.
Yeah.
Um, and so for, yeah, kind of, kind of talk us through that.
I think this is, um, it's really interesting.
Yeah, it's one of those things too.
I mean, as time's going on, you know, I, I've always questioned, you know,
I'm always just who I am, but I'm questioned did I do it the right way?
Did I make the right decision?
And things like that.
Even though I knew looking at my life today, I know I did.
Right.
But it was like, could I done it different?
So when you say like, how it unraveled and I feel like it happened for, for
the people that were involved, I'm sure they felt like it happened like that.
Mm-hmm.
But I, again, I think it was one of those internally things from.
Myself and Jenny that we had been, you know, on our thought process for
months leading up to it, as far as like, man, do we want to continue or we're
gonna be able to continue doing this.
Right?
And then I think once you know, the moment you hold your first son and you
go through that process and you get 'em home and you're doing all those
things, and then I always tell people like the first month of being home, you
know, I really stepped out the business and when it, and that was playing
the team, do that for those things.
But once I stepped back in, it was like.
I just, there was just that feeling like, I can't do this.
I can't continue to be at the level I wanna be at while also being
this next person I wanna become.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so again, I think I had that conversation with people and I
think the agents and, and the people involved, they understood it.
Mm-hmm.
I still questioned if it was, if it was presented the right way for myself.
Um, sure.
But at the same time, it, it was, it was one of those things
where it was a decision that had to be made in the moment.
Um.
And it did, and I think I just got, it was a phone call that had individually
and you know, in person stuff like that with the, with the individual agents.
And, um, I don't know, like you said, I don't think I un unpacking it.
I think it was one of those things where it was sometimes you gotta
step back and make the decision that's best for you and your family.
Right?
Yeah.
And I always tell people, the last two years I feel like I've been focused
on, I caught it, you know, inside all four walls prior to number one, where
in the past it was always, you know.
Hey, let's, let's build the team.
Let's get to here, let's focus on their success and things like that.
And then it's, you know, it starts impacting inside your four walls
and, and everything like that.
So, no, I love it, if that makes sense.
Yeah.
And.
You know, my thought as, as you're kind of talking through there, I
mean, how much, how much of it did you like, man, this, this feels right?
Or was it just a lot of, man, I just gotta have, I, I gotta have
faith in this, in this process?
It was both, I mean, to be honest with you really was, it was both.
I mean, I, I remember moments early on, 'cause again, I mean,
we're, you know, we're during.
When we made this decision, we're literally in the dead heat
of the first couple months of having our first boy, right?
Yeah.
So it's like you're going through that, never had a kid before.
You're going through that whole transition of just like, how
do we survive life right now?
Are we doing that right?
Things right.
Then also trying to run a business.
Um, and again, like my coming from again, the team leader aspect and
the, and the company side where I'm by far the rain, you know, the
rainmaker, whatever you wanna call it.
Like, I still had my business that I had to produce and then also trying
to, you know, bring it in to where.
Make sure I'm there for the agents and things like that, but also
again, new baby at home, being present for those moments as well.
So, I mean, again, I think it was.
I, I think it was, I had moments in the beginning where it was
like, is this the right decision?
But I knew that it was right.
Mm-hmm.
My gut told me that it was, and I told people, like, I remember once I had all
the conversations, I met with people.
It was one of those things where it was just like, you know, they call it the
weight off your shoulder type thing.
It was like, man, all right.
I did it.
I feel better.
It was a, it was a tough going into the whole situation.
Once we had made the decision, this is what we're gonna do, I
dreaded having those conversations.
Sure.
Just 'cause I didn't know how it was gonna go.
Um, but once it was done is one of the things like, all right, cool.
Right.
I made the decision.
We've had these conversations, let's go.
Right.
Let's move on.
Mm-hmm.
Um, and then from that moment it was on, again, my brain internally was right.
We're in a season of life right now.
Where is what's, what's the next couple moves look like?
What's the next again, two years, five years, 10 years Look like.
I took some time to where that first year of, I, I mean, I
stepped, I stood back a lot.
Right.
But it's also, you know, talking about the, the, the
real estate world and economy.
I also made those changes going into what I didn't know was a very
tough real estate market Yeah.
In the world.
Um, so it, but it, it worked out right?
I was still able to, I was still able to maintain my business,
um, from a production level and profitability and things like that.
Um, and it just, again, it was piecing together as like,
what is Brian's next move?
Or going back to being a sole agent, piecing those, you know,
those next moves as far as, you know, what systems do I need?
What is my, you know, am I gonna have people around me in the future?
What do those things look like?
Yeah.
So how, you know, when you guys step back and, and make this decision, I mean, how
long are you giving yourself some grace before you maybe, you know, step back
in and reevaluate kind of the next move?
Yeah, I mean, where I'm at right now, I think we've already had that.
I mean, I think I've made a decision over the last, you know, once we got
through that one year mark with Carter.
You know, uh, we had been talking about it, but it, and when I made the
move, let me just again, back up again.
I was independent brokerage, Coco realtor group.
We ran the, you know, ran it that way.
Um, and then last June, I guess seven, eight months into this change or whatnot.
We partnered and, and I decided to not be in Vietnam.
One.
We partnered with Coldwell Banker Advantage in my local town, right?
Um, but that was with the decision of, again, do I see myself becoming
the independent brokerage owner, being a broker in charge, having those
responsibilities and things like that.
Or do I want to partner where it's solo agent Brian, building a business
over again that's profitable, that allows me to be present at home.
Doing the things I wanna do, but also make, you know, enjoying
the life that I wanna have.
And I think that's been the focus that I've, the path of focus
I wanna be on going forward.
Yeah.
I mean, which was big for me.
Which was big for me.
And I, and I'll say that too, 'cause I always tell people, and you know this, I
mean, you talked about these things in the past, I mean, comparison is a thi of joy.
Mm-hmm.
For so long I envisioned, or I saw other people around me, the
other mentors and stuff like that.
And I was like, man, I want the business or whatever.
It's, and I felt like I was chasing those things, but I was never
like, you know, it was never.
Satisfying when I got to certain levels, and I think now where I look back of like,
I'm now, I feel like I'm in incre actually creating the life that I want, right?
As far as like what I, you know, I, I struggle with the
division for so long, right?
Do I want to have a big team?
I wanna have a small team.
Do I want be this type of agent?
Do I wanna be that type of agent?
Things like that to where I think now, allowing myself to step back
from the, the business side of things over the last couple years
and come back to being a family man.
Being present at home and just being a sole agent's allowed me to really
focus in on what is the true vision.
Right.
How did you, so I, I think this is where a lot of people struggle with, right?
Being able to make that decision.
Was there some, some filters or some, some like hard non-negotiables
to, to help navigate and, and make tough, tough decisions like
that for, for you and the family?
I would say, yeah, to an extent.
I mean, number one, for myself, putting the ego aside,
that was a big thing, right?
And that was, you know, we've, Jenny always told me I was, I was stupid for
having this, you know, negative self-talk.
Self-talk.
But it was one of those things like, man, what are people gonna think?
You know, are people gonna think I did this because of, you know, we've blah,
blah, blah, whatever it is, right?
Or, you know, we had corporate realty group and it was my
name and things like that.
Now I'm shutting all that down to become, to become Brian with Coldwell Banker.
All these different things.
Right?
So it was, it was getting, removing the ego side of things of Brian and just
saying, Hey, remember what's the, focusing on the vision, focusing on the end goal
of creating a life that I want have.
And being present at home.
So, I mean, I think that would be, that was one of the bigger things of
just like understanding like, hey, there's a reason that we're doing this.
Right.
It's not about, yeah, it's not about money.
I mean, it is of course.
I mean, you gotta make money, you gotta, you know, you gotta
create the life you wanna have.
But, um, it's actually opened up more doors.
On that side of things financially, um, by making some of those changes.
But again, I think it's just, it's removing the ego, stepping back of, you
know, comparison to the, the thief of joy.
Stop comparing myself to all these people that I think I wanted to be and stuff
like that, because they all have problems.
You know, that.
Mm-hmm.
You know, once you get closer to some of those circles, you start
to realize, you think that man, their, their life's perfect.
They got all these, you know, they got everything.
Yeah.
They don't, you know.
Um, again, so I think it was, I think just stepping back, going back into the
envisioning things, I think just step, I stood, stood back and just kind of
thought again, like, am I on the path that I wanna, is this really my path?
Is this really my vision?
I wanna have?
As far as where we were, like building a team and stuff like that.
And I, and I, and again, I think to this day I would say, no, I enjoyed it.
I've missed some of those things, but at the same time, happiness and things
like that today versus then tenfold.
Yeah.
So, I mean, what, what does.
Real estate look like now.
I mean, what's the kind of the day to day, what's working, where's the focus,
like for you and how do you go about, you know, like I said, making those decisions?
'cause you only have so much time.
Yeah.
And, and really, you know, the things that you're, you're focused on.
That's, that's actually working.
Yeah.
To be honest with you, from that side of things, it hasn't changed, right?
So I've always been, you know, I came into real estate from,
you know, the corporate world.
Banking.
I always came in from a structure structured as, you know,
aspect of looking at things.
Um, it's changed a little bit as far as what that day-to-day looked like,
where I used to be, you know, I wanted to get up and, you know, get to the
office early as possible before the other agents got and things like that.
Now my morning routine is totally different, you know?
Yeah.
From six 30 to about eight 30, it's, it's, you know, Carter's
on my, you know, I get Carter up right now, so it's been that way.
It's always the routine.
I get Carter up, we, I fix him, you know, some milk, get his little,
his cereal, things like that.
And we sit on the couch, we watch Bluey and, and whatever
he wants to watch that day.
And I'm just present.
Right.
You know, I may have my phone or whatever.
It's like checking, just prepare, prepping for the day or whatever it is.
But again, like that's my, versus in the past it was.
Hey, what calls do I have today?
What meetings do we gotta do?
Am I, am I prepared for the training that we're gonna put on?
Whatever those things are.
Now it's like, Hey, this is Carter.
Time is daddy.
You know, daddy.
Daddy time.
But then again, once we go into, it's still a structure of trying to get
to the office, trying to set myself around appointments, structure my day
properly, and then trying to end it all on the, at the right time as well.
You know, especially again now with having son number two, it's fresh in baby mode.
It's, you know, being there, getting ready for dinner and all those things.
But from the, you know, the.
The meat of the day from the business side of things, it really hasn't changed
outside of now it's just, again, it's Brian, it's, and my, you know, I got
my clients, I got my transactions.
It's the appointments and still gotta generate leads and have those
calls, have those conversations, do marketing, things like that.
But it's from the morning side and the evening side that I think
that's where the change was.
'cause pre-kids and it was, alright, I'm at home now.
I finished my appointments.
Now I gotta start planning.
We got a team meeting tomorrow morning, I gotta prep for that, right?
Yeah.
Or all those things.
Now it's, nope, that's put away.
I'm not really, you know, get it occasional client
calls me or whatever it is.
But I've also had conversations with them and put those conversations
in place of like, Hey, I'm home and I may not respond immediately.
And I think that was a tough thing.
You always heard people say that, but um, again, it's just,
it's setting boundaries around.
The life that I'm currently in.
Yeah, yeah.
It is.
And you know what a what?
A what a relief.
And just thinking through, because you know, I, I, I, I never processed
that way to where you're like, okay, these are non-negotiables.
What, what do I need to say no to so that I can say yes to the things that
are, that are important for the high.
You know, lifetime value activities, not just the high, you know, productivity
activities that, that we must, must do.
What, like for you that, that's driving everything on the business side.
Like, you know, you have to do this.
Like what, what are, what are the things that has to happen on a day in and day
out basis to keep the business moving?
I mean, it's still mean, it's, uh, conversations, you know,
still gotta talk to people.
I can't sit back and wait for the phone to ring.
It's still, and again, I think that's what I mean, is it had the, it hasn't
changed from the creating business and managing business side of things.
It's just, it's because I still manage my own business when I had
the team, now I'm suddenly eliminated some of the other stuff of helping
other agents and things like that.
But from my Brian's personal business, it's been the same since day one.
It's having the conversations, I'm very sphere of influence
circle, database driven, um, referral base and things like that.
I don't, I don't do Zillow and things like that.
Um, so it's still just, it's, Hey, who am I spoke to?
Who's my, who's my touches, who's my check-ins?
And then again, my pending contracts, it's what needs to be accomplished today?
What's my three most important things?
I gotta make sure I check off to prepare for whatever that is.
Um, so like the keeping the main thing, the main thing like that has still been.
It still, it really has to change on that side of things.
Yeah.
I love it.
Right.
So conversations, I'll say conversations i'll, I still gotta
speak to people all the time.
Right?
Yeah.
All the time.
And then, you know, just certain aspects and things that kind of fit
your style to be able to lead up to that conversation is, is key.
Yeah.
And you know, try and we were just, just talking.
Client right before this.
Right.
And just, just little nuance things to be able to connect with, with people,
um, to always, you know, fine tuning that that piece that can actually
connect with people that's gonna be able to, to lead to a conversation,
I think is so freaking Yeah.
So key right now.
Yeah.
I think it's just, it's being, it's what's natural to you, right.
And I always say like, I've never been a salesy person.
Um, and you know, I got.
I also, people, like I always say like real estate isn't,
lemme back up in my viewpoint.
We're not in a sales business, we're in a service business, right?
Servicing your people the right way and you're gonna create
butt loads of opportunity.
Uh, and I think that's why I've always ran the business.
It's like, how can I service people for the seasonal life that
they're in as far as their chapter?
Whether it's moving, putting a house in the market.
Know, I always tell people their, most clients are, you know, it's going,
they just had a baby or they're going through a divorce, or, Hey, I just
had to put my mom in a nursing home.
Like, those are the things that, like, everybody's in different seasons
and chapters of life when it comes to what we do day in and day out.
Um, yeah, and I think again, it's like understanding that it's,
it's touching to where like.
Hey, I can have a conversation 10 minutes ago with one client that is happy because
they just had their first baby and they wanna get a new home and blah, blah, blah.
And then the very next phone call is, yeah, I gotta deal with the
person who just lost their husband.
Right?
It's like, it's, it's very emotional and I think you've gotta
learn how to connect with that.
And I think that's something that's always allowed me to do.
Well, people can see, I think people can see past the, Hey, I'm
just here for the transaction.
The,
I've always, I've never.
I've never really been, I've never been driven by that.
Right.
It's such a, it's a such a great point that you just brought up, and I don't
even know why I didn't even think about this distinction in what you were
talking about because I just, over the last 18 months, I really believe we've
been in kind of a half two market.
And the really, the, the aspirational type market is, it's just not there.
Right.
It's, it's really a, a more of a, of a pain point that you have to do
something type of, type of market.
Um, and we always talk about, you know, Hey, you wanna be a painkiller,
you don't wanna be a vitamin company.
You wanna solve problems.
And what you just said, I don't even know why.
Just, just, you know, that's why distinctions are so, so powerful because.
It is such a, I don't wanna say probably a desperate, right?
You're looking for more desperate than motivated.
And though the desperate people are the things that they,
they have to do something.
But you said the, you said the magic word that I just, it didn't
connect at all until you just said it was, it's all emotional.
Yeah.
Like there's very little logic right now.
We always know people buy on emotion justify with logic, but I
think it's so emotional right now.
Oh yeah.
In, in how everybody's going.
It's amplified even more and you have to take that in and how are you
managing and creating that experience because it is so emotional for the real
buyers and sellers in today's market.
Um, especially on the selling side, right?
Yeah.
Like.
Um, and, and like I said, especially if you're navigating into that
desperate market, because I think that's what we're really looking for.
Because I mean, if they don't have to, if they're aspirational,
I think they're staying put.
Yeah.
I think it's, it's down to the point that you said, right?
Like we're, we're, we're, we're exploding.
If we can't find a house, we're gonna have to, we're gonna have to add on, right?
We're gonna have to do some, some, some rehab to the house.
We're gonna, we're gonna have to do something.
Um, obviously on, you know, the, you know, the loss of, you know, a significant,
another something, something happened.
You got kiddos.
I mean, obviously we're going into, um, you know, a new school year.
Maybe they're, you've got some seniors that are about to leave the house.
You're about to have some empty nesters, so you've got real emotional triggers
that are happening now more than ever.
Yeah.
Well, and I, and I think, again, go back to the, you
know, call it the COVID market.
I think it was emotional then, but just in a different way.
Right.
Because I think there it was emotional of the, I don't want to miss out.
Right.
Because it was, you know, the interest rates are where they are,
and I think we're getting emotional from a. Fear of missing out and you
know, the FOMO side of things of like, man, I need this as the time.
Anybody else to buying a house right now?
Why not me?
Right?
Or everybody else is selling for top dollar.
I wanna get that one.
Take advantage of that.
But I, you know, I've also came across some people that moved during that, that
transition and of time where they probably shouldn't have, and they probably, if they
could do it all over again, they would've stayed where they were stayed put, right?
Yeah.
Stayed put.
Um, from a, from a payment aspect, whatever it is, I just feel like they.
They made some moves being emotional around what was going
on in the world around us.
Mm-hmm.
Um, which is okay, but at the same time Yeah, a hundred percent.
I always say that real estate, 99% of the time is very emotional.
And again, it's, it's per individual, every transaction, every.
Every sale is different.
It's just where's that, where are you connecting with them emotionally?
What's the reason, what's the goal?
No different than what we have as far as the vision of building our business.
There's a goal and there's a reason and there's a why as far
as why they're making that move.
Right?
Yeah.
Um, and then really honing in that comes from the very early
conversations, pieces with them.
It's like honing in on, uncovering that.
It's not just, Hey John, you wanna buy a house?
Great.
Let's go start looking at houses.
Well, let's talk about that.
Let's dig into deeper, like what's the reason behind it?
Let's learn about your current situation, what you're going through.
And again, sometimes it's is this is right now the right time.
Mm-hmm.
And I think that's where, again, I've done really well.
And that's coming back to the division of who I want to be as a person.
An agent is, an advisor doesn't always advise people to move right now.
Mm-hmm.
I think sometimes an advisor's like, Hey, let's.
Pausing where what the conversation right now is.
Okay.
And let's, whether it's save a little bit more money or wait till the, the market
shifts because of, you know, you, you financially, you don't have the funds to,
you know, I would say right now buyers are buyers right now because of where we are.
They're, you know, move in ready is very top of list for them.
They don't wanna move into it.
They don't want projects and stuff like that.
Especially for what they're gonna pay.
And I've had some conversations recently with some people to where.
It, they don't have the, the funds and the opportunities to maybe make some
updates to the house or whatever those things are to where, and then also they
just can't financially buy right now.
But like sometimes it's having that conversation like, Hey, let's pause this.
Let's, let's revisit this in two or three months and like, set a plan together and.
Versus putting on a market next week or buying, starting to look at houses.
Let's pause this until we can figure out A, B and C or whatever.
It's um, yeah, to remove to where like, again, I think that's come back
to the emotional side of things where it's like, man, like, okay, great.
I went into this thinking that it was a very dire need for me to
make this move right now because of whatever the reason was, but.
Calming my emotions down a little bit and understanding, and them stepping back and
seeing, all right, what's the better mood?
What's a better chess piece?
What does that look like?
And I think that's helps, again, eliminate some of the emotions
side of things for clients.
Again, it's just the way I, I, I feel like I process things Yeah, sometimes
and just try to connect with the people as an individual, um, and, and just
kind of lead them in that direction.
But I think emotional, emotional decisions is a big factor.
Day in, day out of this business.
Yeah, a hundred percent.
I, yeah, I, so it's so good.
And I, I think, you know, for, for, for agents and for
just people in general, right.
You know, just that, that level of, of emotional intelligence to really just to
be able to sit and, and, and listen, you know, ask questions and listen to really
what they're saying and what they're, what they're wanting to, to accomplish.
Like you said, you know, be willing to tell 'em what they need to
hear, not what they want to hear.
And that's gonna just serve you at such a, such a high level.
And, you know, people, people appreciate that.
Right.
Well, I'll say we're, we're in the trust building business, right?
And a lot of companies, you know, a lot of industries are, but in real
estate, for us, it's like there's so many of us out there that try
to sell houses and real estate.
It's like, who do I go with or whatever?
Who do I trust to handle this big investment in this financial decision?
I think the people that go about it, I don't, again, I don't wanna say
wrong 'cause I understand there's different business philosophies and
ways to, you know, get, but again, like me personally, I've never been,
it, it just comes out unnatural if I'm going into that conversation.
Like kind of pushing to the side that, hey, I, I, you know, man,
your mom's, you gotta put your mom in a nursing home, right?
Yeah.
I mean, just, alright.
And then pushing that to the side and just going straight to, alright, well
let's talk about your house on the market.
Let's pause over here and let's hone in.
Like tell me a little bit about like what's that been like, where's she at?
What's, what's the reason of that?
You know, how long has her health and the client like having those conversations?
So many people in this business, I don't know why either, they just
don't feel comfortable, they don't know how to ask those questions.
They don't know how to connect with a person as an individual, and.
Go deeper in their relationship with those people and they, they wanna
keep it so surface level, level and business only, or whatever it is.
And I think, to me, I think that, again, coming back to building those
relationships, I'm always the person that's gonna go, Hey, let's, let's,
we'll talk real estate here in a second, but let's talk about again,
whatever the decision is and the reason why we're making this move and why
we're here today, let's focus on that.
Yeah.
And, and even that, that's reminding them, it's, it's.
'cause again, it's the why.
It's mm-hmm.
You know, so when you're two months into the process and they're emotionally
frustrated 'cause maybe the house isn't on the market or they haven't found
the house they want to, it's bringing them back into, Hey, look, remember
this is, it's part of the process.
What's the why?
What, what, what's the end goal?
What are we trying to get to?
Right.
Um, to where it's just, it's, that's the trust factor that we try to build.
Yeah.
That's so good.
Right?
And, and, and that just is, to me, trust is just transparency,
authenticity, being a genuine, caring human being, time, time's time.
Right?
Mm-hmm.
It takes, it takes time to really build, to build that trust in the marketplace,
especially when it's so freaking noisy.
When you know everybody's, you know, most agents need to sell, sell a
house more than the buyer or seller.
Yeah, needs to either sell or buy.
And that desperation definitely, you know, can come across and it's icky and gross.
And so really just genuinely caring about, you know, another human
being and, and getting clear on what is the situation, what are,
what are they trying to accomplish?
And then determining is that somebody that you can help or, or not.
Um, I think is, is really, really important.
Yep.
I agree.
So for, for you, you know, kind of where you, you know, you're at stage, I mean,
what are, what are you excited about moving into this last part of the year?
Oh.
Business wise.
I mean, just continuing on the gr the, the growth and their, I'll say the
re the rebuilding of, of my business.
Um, yeah, I think I've, I've been, it was funny.
It was funny.
We laughed about, you know, had we went through all the transitions that we had,
Carter did all this changes we already talked about and it's like, alright great,
we're getting our feet settled business.
I got, I'm right there and I'm bam.
Alright.
Right?
Yeah.
So then it's like, alright, let's, let's transition, let's
back up a little bit again.
Let's start over.
But again, it's allowed me to dig deeper and evaluate Yeah.
Even more of that vision.
Um, but again, I think now that we're transitioning out of, you know, two
months, two months into, you know, boy number two, uh, but learning
that, you know, life is different now.
Life is totally different with two over one.
Uh, so I've had to trans, you know, make some of those changes as far as the daily
routine and stuff like that goes as well.
Um, but I, I think that's the most exciting thing is knowing that
I can visualize and I can see the.
So much clearer now, the person that I wanted to become versus than I,
that I did three or four years ago.
Right.
Yeah.
And again, we, we've talked about this, I think, you know, through all
the coaching things, I mean, you've been on and, and I all, you know,
people say like, what's your vision?
I always struggle.
I don't know.
How do you uncover it?
What do you ask?
Am I asking the wrong questions?
Like, I don't know.
Is there a, is there a tool or a process I can go through?
Like, I don't know.
I, I, there's so many different ones I have, but I think now it's,
it's Is it 100% crystal clear?
No, but it's way clearer than it was, yeah.
Three, four years ago.
And I think that's the exciting part.
It's a work in progress.
Right.
And you know, when Yeah.
You, you, you have a significant other.
Okay.
Starts to, but when you got a, a, a little human being that's
a part of you that Oh, yeah.
Tends to, that tends to help kind of start to.
Shape what you want the future to look like because you're,
like I said, you're, you're not thinking about just you anymore.
Yeah.
And, and even when you, you know, you have a significant other, you get married, it's
still not all you, but it's still more you than, than, than just them because it's,
it's hard to just be unconditionally just.
100%. You know, selfish, it's, you know, I really subscribed.
You gotta be, uh, or selfless.
I, I I I, I kind of fall into the McConaughey camp that you've gotta be a
little selfish so you can be selfless.
Mm-hmm.
But when you got the, when you got the little ones that really does, um,
it, it, it really does start to, to make you think, um, differently and.
And, and I, I think even more so when you get a little bit older
and you start to like, ah, damn.
Right?
And, and so being able to, to help you know what you want that to look like.
And, and that's why I default back to it, man.
I, I, I default back to, you know, October was 20 years, um, since kinder
and I got together and I, I, I really reflected coming into this new year.
If I was to coach us 27, 20 8-year-old knuckleheads, how I would've coached
us, knowing what I know now, and I, I would've coached us on, you know, stop
being hung up on, on chasing status.
'cause we wanted to be number one so bad.
Um, just the competitiveness in us and the things that at that age we felt like
we wanted to prove something and we had a, you know, a top 10 team for re max on
the planet that we went head to head with.
And so what I would've pushed back on us would've been, listen, you
know, there's, there's layers, right?
And of course you have survival, then you have status.
Get your butts outta status and get to freedom.
What does freedom really look like?
And what I, you know, would, would we be sitting here?
Probably not if we would've pursued freedom.
Um, so I'm grateful everything has happened the way it's
happened, but I know what it'll.
It'll course it, like, it'll, it'll set you back decades if you're
not chasing the right objective.
If you're not chasing the right, the right, you know, destination.
And the destination has to be freedom.
Um, obviously there's, there's, there's, there's another level above that, which is
legacy, but you've gotta get to freedom.
And, you know, my definition is perfect day.
Are you, are you moving closer to living your perfect day?
Um, you know who you're waking up with, the conversations you're
having, the lunch, the work you're doing, who you're helping, like you
said, that morning, that evening, you know, the, those, those rituals.
And then it's, are we creating revenue streams to where we're
not trading time for dollars because it's the combination of.
The, the amount of income needed to live the life you want, which is
the day, the perfect day scenario.
So I think it's, it's a combination of those things and that's
where I would've coached us.
Um, and not chasing things to chase things or, because that's
how, you know, you want to emulate somebody else that you think, right?
It has it all together, but as, as we know, you know,
nobody has it all together.
So I think it's, um, I think it's just a combination of those things, man,
and, and, um, you know, kind of where you're at in the season, you know,
kudos, kudos to you for, you know, not trying to muscle through because of ego.
And really recalibrating and, and, and having the tough conversation
of like, what is the goal?
Like what is the real goal that we're wanting to accomplish?
And then what are all the ways to get there that we're not willing,
you know, what are the hard nos that we're not willing to, to exchange?
Yeah.
And again, I mean, you, you mentioned in the past, I mean, it's, it's
the thousand foot view, right?
It's, and it's going back to the relationship, relationship side of things.
You, you know, the comparison of the joy side of things.
It's, it's, once I've built these relationships with some people and
I still love 'em to death, right?
And I still put it, it's, you start uncovering, you're like,
man, this is where I want to be.
And you start realizing like they're, they're not where they want to be.
They're, you know, they're still chasing things and they're still
trying to cover is this really what they wanna do and things like that.
Um, but for me it's, right, it was stepping back and saying
that like, this can't be.
This can't be the next 10 years, this can't be the next 20 years.
This can't be what I'm chasing the arena running the rabbit
wheel of just life, right?
Yeah.
It's gotta, you've gotta step back and just say, alright, what,
and who am I doing this for?
Um, and for me, again, I think I, I, the comparison side of things
and the status to where I was, the same thing I wanted to be known of.
Like, Hey, I'm, you know, we're, we're building this brand or whatever
it is, and it, all of it, at the end of the day, doesn't matter.
You know, year over year, the, the, the days change, and me and you see it,
there's, we, there's some, and within our industry alone, there's so many, you
know, top agents and teams that it's, they reach this status and then all great, I
reached this level, and then what, right?
Mm-hmm.
Using a golf analogy.
You, you probably recently see this.
Look at Scotty Scheffler.
He, he got cooled for the things he recently came out and said, because
he's like, man, you re you train your entire life day in and day out
to be the best golfer in the world.
You win the biggest golf tournament in the world and you're like, is this all it is?
You know?
Yeah.
And, and people were like, man, like how are you not satisfied, but he's right.
Like, you reach that and you're like, man, he enjoyed for five minutes.
Then it's like, alright, what's next?
Yeah.
Right.
And it's just starting over again.
It's, it's the process that he's, he basically came out, said he
enjoys, that's not what he is.
That's not what he defines as success.
It's the process.
The day in and day out of that.
He phones that.
Yeah.
That he's found that he enjoys.
Right.
Yeah.
And for me, I thought it was, Hey, we gotta be number one in our market,
or we gotta do, we gotta get to X number of transactions this year,
or we gotta make this much profit.
Whatever.
Those things, and like you get to certain different levels,
you're like, all right, maybe.
Maybe it's more, maybe maybe I need to do, let me add another million to that.
Mm-hmm.
It's just continuing the cycle of like, man, this isn't it.
Um, and then the funny thing is like, now that I've stepped back to all those
things and I look back of making all the changes, like not getting to too deep
financially, but like that side of things is drastically improved by just stepping
back and eliminating some of the things that, like you said, that you don't need.
The things I'm now saying no to so much that I used to say yes to, just because
I wanted to, like it used to help.
I thought it would help me catapult to higher and bigger statuses, saying
no to those things all the time now.
Um, and keeping focus on the goal, right?
The vision.
Yeah.
And I think it's just allowed, it's just freedom, freedom,
freedom from the, from the mental side of things as well.
Right.
To, it's not, I'm not chasing John Kitchens.
It's not chasing, you know, whoever it is, it's, it's within all four walls.
Right.
Are we closer to that perfect day, like you mentioned?
Mm-hmm.
Am I there yet?
No, but I got a long way to go.
Yes.
But at the same time.
But that picture, that perfect day, so much more clear.
And I think to me, that's the most important thing.
Yeah.
Sometimes you gotta go through a little trial and error to
get there, but you know, like.
Scotty was was saying is just, man, it's, it's loving.
We, we've heard it, right.
It's falling in love with the process, but I think it's also
having faith in the process.
Yeah.
It is and knowing that, knowing that the work is, is the work that he is
putting in is generating the success.
Yeah.
I mean we, you know, just, just uncovering it so much more.
When you study, you study that greatness, right?
You look at mj, you look at Kobe, you know, even, even freaking tiger, right?
Like just that work right to where when you get in the competition, it's easy.
And I just remember when I, when I did my first Ironman like.
The, the actual event was fun.
Yeah.
But what sucked was every day of training e every run, every swim.
It's just like, you know, us, us growing up playing golf, I mean, you just had
to fall in love with hitting balls.
You just had to fall in love with the hours on the putting green.
You just, you know, hours in the bunkers and just, you know, as much as like, I
hated it, but you just, you had to, you just had to like, God, this is the work.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, so good.
I love brother.
I, uh, man, I'm happy for you and, you know, making tough decisions.
That's an alignment to a better life that's leading you closer
to, you know, that perfect day.
Most people won't.
You know, feel like they're, they're, they're taking a couple steps back to
be able to take those 10 steps forward.
But it, it, it is, you know, always the right move.
And I, I mean, I've experienced it.
I've seen it.
And so kudos to you for being able to.
Letting the ego aside, right?
It's the whole outcome over ego.
It's about getting to right instead of being right.
And well, it's easy in concept, but it's such hard and, you know,
in practice to be able to do so.
Kudos to you, man.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Thank you.
You got it brother.
Well, appreciate it.
Um, you guys listening in, connect with Brian, uh, give him some love
and, uh, man, let's, uh, let's figure out how we can get our
butts back out on the golf course.
Pretty soon.
Yeah.
I keep telling people I'm working on my handicap, man.
I need shops next time we play.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes, yes.
I hear you.
Alright, awesome.
Alright.
Thanks brother.
Thanks guys.
See you.
Thanks for tuning in.
If you're done guessing and ready to lead like a real CEO with a custom
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