Hey bag. We're so excited
to be here today. We are,
we are, we are. Uh, welcome back to no bras required where the dress
code is flexible, but the honesty is not.
Today's episode is called giving yourself permission to breathe because let's
be real. December is basically like Olympics for mobs.
There's no metal ceremony, the events are endless,
And somehow you have managed to become the athlete,
the coach, the organizer, the tech crew,
emotional support, animal and snack provider.
So if you've been feeling like you're walking a tightrope lately made of garland
and unpaid labor, this one is for you.
Yes, friends, because we know you are in it.
It is December when you were listening to this and you are in the
thick of the madness. So So we are going to talk about how
to survive and really just giving yourself permission to
breathe in December because it's so important.
So let's get into it. So let's talk about the invisible load,
holiday edition because we've already talked about the invisible workload of women and
we know on the daily basis there's a lot,
but you're You're not just carrying the regular to-do list right now.
You are trying to remember if there's pajamas for
the 1200th spirit week of the year because there's
always some schools have like a spirit week every week in the month of
December because they hate all of us moms,
I think. Well, and then if you've got your kids an extra curricular,
they've got spirit weeks too. Right.
Because everybody's just trying to survive. and so they think if they can make
it fun with new ideas and spirit things,
then maybe we'll make it to the end.
The teacher gifts, remembering them,
making them thoughtful but not weird, but also budget friendly.
And I, four kids,
four kids in, I don't know how to do that.
Like I, as a teacher, do you not want another coffee mug?
I don't want another bottle of random holiday lotion from
Bath & Body Works in a scent that nobody likes.
Do you know what never goes out of style for a teacher gift?
Gift cards to Starbucks? Alcohol.
Oh that too. But please don't send that to school with your kid.
As the administrator? No no.
Toxin, you have to do like the,
hey like the creepy person,
I've got something for you and my trunk.
It's in the bag. Come pick it up.
I've actually had parents do that. They're like,
hey, I have something for you. It's in my trunk.
I get big in the dance studio.
They're like, you always know you're getting your boat to get alcohol because they
had it over to you with the biggest file on their face and it's
like, this is because I deal with my child to or like there's a
little something special to warm your spirit and it's like it's like the inside
joke and I'm like oh man I love it.
Yeah I do love that I have one mom she's really great she's like
and here's your wine. Thank you thank you so much yeah
um you've got the inventory of wrapping paper that you swore
you bought but you can't find and you did buy but you I'll find
it till next Christmas. Yes, it is like,
you know, those things that if you're looking for it,
you can't ever find it. I mean, this happens to me all the time.
Whenever I'm looking for something, I can't find it.
I swear I put it in this one spot and then I stop looking
for it. I go to look for something else and then all of a
sudden I find it. But it's not, you know, when I need it and
that, I feel like that happens all the time.
Rapping paper and the gift bags because you get tired of wrapping
and you run out of tape and then you're just over it.
And so you're like, where's the gift bags? And you can't ever find them.
And then you're out of tape. So you have to do freaking tissue paper
because you can't just take the bag clothes because that's my favorite trick.
It's, yeah. I have,
this is gonna sound crazy, but you know me,
I'm like chaos unleashed.
I have gift paper in my,
I got a in my car.
I forget what that's called. Oh, like the console?
The console at all times. Ooh,
that's actually like a good life hack, Patty.
I like this. Thank you. I used to carry extra socks.
I used to carry extra socks, but I've replaced it with a gift wrapping
paper and the tissue paper that goes in the bags.
Nice. And if it's coming handy more after than you would
believe. I bet. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm like the person running through the aisles of Walmart trying to find
it and cursing because I can't because I'm like,
I don't care about Paw Patrol and whatever birthday party thing.
But yeah. Yeah. And then we've got like the,
oh God, what did I sign up for to bring to this party list?
Because I signed up on the sign of genius,
But I can't find which freaking sign of genius it was or remember what
email I used. And so I don't even remember what we're bringing to this
one. Yes, great.
All the time. And then we thought only like the to-do list load,
but there's the emotional load like you're navigating every family members feelings.
Especially if you've got any like unrest in your family or
people that don't get along always creeps up this time of year.
you're keeping the kids from going into full-gremlin mode.
Yeah. And you're pretending that you're totally fine.
It's hot. We all get pitchy like Ross off of friends.
Well, I'm trying to survive my short run in the adrenaline.
It's insane. It's insane. December is the one month we're putting gas in
your car. It feels kind of like self-care.
Yes. So sad. But it is.
Cause you're like, I have these five minutes of just standing here.
And nobody's talking to you at the pumps are asking if you got this
done or what are we doing now? Right.
Yeah. I think I'm going to go fill in my car today.
Yeah. Oh, I hate filling up my car,
but I really do. I understand like that,
that really does feel like a small vacation in December.
Yeah. You know, I think it's, it's important to remember this isn't a failure.
the season, this time,
how you feel. It's not a failure. It's an overload season already layered on
top of an already overloaded life.
Correct. Yeah. Yeah. So
we're going to give you permission to breathe, like for real breathe.
Also, I have been taking a coaching course and
they talk about your breath,
how you do it. So you first of all, you want to it up
tall. Okay. Take a deep deep breath in.
Hold it for a second, exhale, and at the end of it you smile.
Doesn't that like kind of just flip the energy?
It's like flip in the switch. It's I never knew how much smiling at
the end of an exhale could actually improve and help your
nervous system. Like it's insane.
It's You have to do it a couple times, but it's like,
yeah,
all right, well, the breath is so important. I mean,
we talk about that a lot in dance and, but I think,
you know, in its school now,
I mean, kids have so much anxiety that we are talking a lot about
finding their breath and grounding themselves.
And, you know, we, we forget sometimes that we need that too.
So like, when we're feeling like our chest is getting tight.
The panic is rising. You can feel that stress.
You know what those triggers are. You know when it's building.
Yeah, you get up and you do this. And you have to unclutch your
jaw and wiggle it to remember there's movement there.
Yep. And drop your shoulders. That's my favorite.
Dr. JD drop your shoulders. Get your tongue off the roof of your mouth
because it's always there when you're stressed and then work
on that breathing because we forget oxygen's free.
It is. Yes and
it doesn't take long to reset like a couple of like in-for-for-count,
old-for-two, exhale-for-six,
smile at the of it do that two or three times and you will
feel like a whole new woman. Yeah,
because breathing's like yours annex. It can't be.
It can't be. It's cheaper. It's portable.
Nobody judges for you doing it in public.
Right. Or it could be your wine or your
tequila. Definitely more socially appropriate to breathe.
Yeah. And to just start chugging the bottle,
because that's where you're at. Yeah, um,
let's get into a little bit about why we feel that way in the
first place and giving our self permission to not do
the things. Like, I,
I'm going to be okay if the house looks like a festive crime scene.
Right, everything doesn't need to match. It's okay.
It's okay. if the elf does not move every single night you
can tell the children they touched it she lost her magic put her in
some sugar and it's gonna take a week to 10 days for her to
reset I love
that one and it's totally okay too if the holiday cards go out
in January or not at all you could call it a year-of-review recap and
do it after Christmas. I was to picture on Facebook and call it a
day. Put it on the Instagram and be like,
here's your Christmas card. Yeah. Merry Christmas.
Yeah. Or it's okay if your kids gingerbread house collapses.
And seriously, why are you even trying to do gingerbread houses?
Because I feel like they are an invention that is just to
create tension and make parents crazy.
It's like the school projects. You know that it seems like an amazing idea
and then you realize you have to do all the work Like just don't
Just don't And every should you drop gives you more space
for one want. Yeah,
it's okay The kids
aren't gonna remember it anyway Probably not oh
probably not What they will remember is you losing your mind Yeah,
or the snuggles that you decided to have on the couch instead of the
gingerbread houses. Yep. Watching spirited or whatever
fun holiday movie that you guys want to do as a family.
Yeah. Pop some popcorn in the microwave,
get some M&Ms, do popcorn and surprises.
That will be just as great as having this gingerbread house that you worked
hours on and you can't even eat it.
Yeah, like, or like turn on the tunes and have a dance party in
the living room and work some of that stuff out of your system.
Yeah. Right? Yeah.
Yeah. So let's talk about the emotional overdraft fee because we are
like a bank account and we are overdrafting ourselves in December
and you may be overdrafting your bank account as well trying to buy all
of these gifts. So, every time you say yes,
when you mean, oh, please no,
you're overdrafting your emotional account,
and we're so guilty of this. Women are so guilty of this.
It takes us so long just to learn the word no,
because a lot of us are people-pleasers,
and we don't like to disappoint people.
But then the symptoms or the result of us overdrafting
our emotional account is we're snapping over nothing we're
crying at the commercials oh do you know what I always know
that I'm at the end of my like emotional account limit when
I read something that hits me in the heart and I almost cry because
I'm not a cryer yeah and it happened the other day I was in
hard store, and I was reading something so standing in the aisle,
bawling by myself. Oh no,
I need a nap in a sticker spot.
Like, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
What's the little triggers? The minor, like the public's commercials here is a grocery
store, but they do these like ridiculously emotional,
you know, like the long-lost son coming home from war or
grandma, like in the kitchen,
but it's not really grandma. It's just the memory of grandma.
Like, oh, that just means you have a heart.
If you don't cry, those, that's like not crying at old Yeller.
Right. My sister and I call that black heart.
How can you not?
Oh, so great. Yeah. They're designed to get you the Budweiser horse and
the customers like those I love those.
Those are my favorite super bowl commercials.
Yeah, they're the best. Yeah, I find rage cleaning.
Yes, like I'm cleaning my house to make the holidays magical and
I'm so pissed at everybody that lives with me.
Yes, or I mean, I just like,
I actually was rage cleaning the other day.
I went to find the the steel wall because
I can't remember what I was trying to clean.
But it was so something and I needed the steel wool to like get
whatever was on there off and I couldn't find it.
So I'm like throwing everything out from under the cabinets because it's nowhere to
be found. And then I start noticing like,
well, and then this is wrong. It was the sink.
Like, I hate our under under the counter sink.
Like the counter goes over the top. And so you have that edge right
along it where it's like sealed but not and so it gets all the
gunk and so you have to like get in there and scrape it out
and so then I start cleaning that and then I'm like oh and then
behind it and then so I was losing my mind and Mike's like did
you mean to throw this on the floor? He's like yes yes I did
where's my steel wool? He's like okay.
Oh no. Call me you down.
Yeah exactly right.
Yeah, it was it was pretty bad.
And the kids like they all scatter like roaches,
you know, it's like when you turn the lights on and roaches scatter That's
exactly how my family was because they saw it and they were like gone
nobody was around to me We all know how this is gonna
end run run save yourself I
find two sometimes I what I'm like in
it. One of my symptoms is like I fantasize about booking
myself into a hotel for one where I can order in room service.
I control the TV remote and I'm gonna accidentally
forget to pack my work bag.
So I can't even, I don't have my laptop. I'm sorry I can't work.
I just have to lay here and just live by myself
for a weekend with snacks and silence.
Yeah. I started fantasizing about just getting myself a little trailer
on the beach. I'm living there all by myself.
Nobody's allowed to come. It's just me and the ocean and
the sunshine. That's where I need to be.
And that's crazy because we both actually really love people.
Yeah, I do.
I get a lot of energy off people, but and then I also am
like people out like I I'm like that perfect introvert extrovert kind of
person where I have to recharge my batteries and I know that like
my baseline energy in December is battery 3% and
it's refusing to charge. Charger is broken.
We lost the cube. Something is not working and
we can't, we just can't.
Yeah, yeah. What do you find actually helps?
So delegating really,
really helps. And it's hard to do.
It's getting easier now that the kids are older.
So, you know, giving the kids the,
we do like sibling
gifts, you know, so they have to like give each other gifts or like
Liam has taken over being my person who decorates for Christmas.
Loves it and so he the last couple of years has totally decorated
the house. That is a huge pressure off of me because you know,
you've seen I've taken you on a tour of my house.
I have seven Christmas trees, the Garland,
like we go all out and I've slowly started removing things
just cause I'm tired of it and I don't want to do it,
but if he'll do it,
then, you know, it's okay. But that helps,
you know, you can make a kid a tradition captain,
give each of them something that they're going to be over and they're the
ones who take it on. Yeah.
What do you do? We,
I, okay, couple of things.
And one of them is going to sound weird. I like to just
set aside a morning or a day that I'm going to make buns,
because buns was like the thing my mom always did.
So it just feels like my time for reflection and thinking about her
like she's there with me. And nobody likes to help.
Oh, so they quite often leave me alone in the kitchen.
So I have the kitchen to myself. And it's I don't know.
There's something about punching that no doubt it's there.
There's something about getting your hands all gucky that feels childlike
and there's a lot of thinking time involved in it.
So it does take it's a process of a day.
So it takes a lot and I just don't book anything else because that
time to be a sacred. Yeah. Yeah, and everybody loves your buns.
Yeah, I'm known for my buns, but it
brings me something too.
It's something I get to do that shows love to my family,
but it's something that's all so for me. So I find that,
and like, girl, any day, I can plan to stay at my pajamas all
day, not put a bra on,
throw a little like rum chotta in my Earl Grey tea,
like maybe as I clean, like I don't care if I'm intoxicated while I
dust, like I feel I feel like I could do both really well.
Right. So, you know, like just that kind of thing with like low key
tunes playing in the background, I live for those kind of
like slow motion, slow motion moments and then quite often like
with cleaning people will jump into my household,
like they'll see you doing it they'll I'm going to get this remote perfect.
Yeah. Yeah. I delegate a lot of my wrapping too,
like Charlie loves to wrap presents. I'm like,
hey girl. Go for it. Here you are.
Yeah. Love that. Love that for both of us.
I am. I am the queen of shopping online.
for everything. I do not go in stores anymore.
If you catch me in a store, we are in desperate times.
But yeah, I mean, I do everything online.
I even do my grocery shopping and grocery like every week.
I do that online and I just drive through that little happy pickup.
Any way that I can outsource things and save myself time.
So, like, I can sit in my soft pants on the couch or,
like, you know, grocery shopping,
while we're driving to church, Mike's driving to church.
It's a 30-minute drive for us. I'm ordering the groceries.
What do we need? Set the pickup time and it's done.
Like that, that helps a lot to take that pressure off because that can
be hours by the time you, like, walk through the aisles and find everything.
It also saves us a lot of money because there's no,
like, impulse buys Yeah, because you have to search for everything.
Well, you're not buying the things you don't need that you think you'll use
that just rot in the fridge. Yeah,
like Yeah,
yeah, so that helps a lot But yeah,
I mean, I think Any way that you can take things off of your
plate and have other people pick it up.
That's that's great So let's talk about the I like this
the mom recharge menu So let's
do some fun things that people can do. Like five minute,
10 minute, 30 minute luxury edition of things they
can do to just help recharge their batteries. Okay,
I, for me personally, I will always start with gratitude.
I have a little gratitude journal. I write the things that I'm grateful for
in it. Or I just sit and look out the window with like,
I am in love with roasted hazelnut lattes,
oh man oh man they're so good so yeah to sit and
look out my picture window maybe a dearle walk by nice
yeah it's it's a nice little recharge for me yeah um I
also I have a 30 minute commute.
I love to turn the radio off or sometimes on depending
on the mood and what my soul needs,
but a 30 minute drive in silence alone with your thoughts or just nothingness,
just letting your mind be blank is a beautiful thing.
And sometimes pounding out the hits and singing like you are like
like the rock star. Oh,
selling out the Taylor Swift stadiums, but it's you.
Yeah. Yeah. How about you?
What do you like to do? Um, little things I like to make like
a favorite beverage. So whether,
you know, it's, um, especially in the holidays,
I like to go through and get like a chai,
tea, gingerbread latte and just sit somewhere and
like drink it. And you know just enjoy it and quiet.
Like that's, I love that. Like little treats for myself here and there.
Sometimes just like putting on headphones and going out for
a walk and listening to a podcast or even just in
silence is great. I do like to put on Christmas
concerts in my car because they're amazing.
Like I nobody knows what they're missing out on because it'll
never be in public. But I can do some amazing,
like, we'll give me some like old school Amy Grant,
some Celine Dion Christmas.
Like yeah, buddy. top of my lungs,
going for it. Sometimes I'll take the long way,
because like my commute now is not 30 minutes used to be.
And so that was a good time. But you know,
or just like sitting and scrolling on my phone,
like lately, that like TikTok has been a little release,
like finding the panda videos or the dumb dog videos.
Because we have two labs, like usually I get all the lab ones about
like my in Jeff or I know what are they called Max in Jeff
or like the one dog he's like super big and hit like
to do like he's big and strong and then there's Jeff the one that's
like tongue is hanging out of his mouth and he looks crazy.
There's a really funny to me because there's our my dogs pretty much flash
and tell me yeah there's always there's always that so like just little things
where you know it feels like a little vacation for a minute and then
it's like Okay, I've reset. Let's let's go back into it.
I do too. This is like feels luxury.
Feels like luxury addition to me. But like just
that hot bubble bath with like
glass of cold water and some candles,
like not even the lights on. Yeah,
yeah. Oh, it's so good.
It's so good. I am I hope you know I've talked about how I
have a love hate relationship with my bath tub because it's not deep enough
But like even just a hot shower and you do one of those bath
bomb things like in the shower that will like Yeah,
I don't know what they're called Yeah,
yeah, and then you just stand there and you like turn the water on
as how does you can stand it? And you stay there until the water
hot rudder runs out, which I know so bad for the environment So good
for making. So good for me. And like you're not there to shave your
legs. You're not there to wash your hair. Like you are just letting that
hot water run over you and like enjoying that moment.
Maybe do a little sugar scrub and huh.
Yeah. Just feels so good. It really does.
It really does. Yeah. Let's move on to the
bee in the photo reminder.
We talk about this a lot, friends,
but we're going to talk about it again because it is so important.
The kids don't care how you look.
They just want to know that you are a part of their story.
And when you were gone, they were going to want to look back and
see not just pictures of them growing up,
but them with you. Because you are the most important person to them.
Yeah, well, and speaking from experience,
like I lost my mom about 12 years ago,
and there are so few pictures of her with us.
I have one of her and my grandma,
and I love this photo because they passed within three months of each other
and both hated to be in photos.
And I took it of them doing dishes at my sister's house.
And so they both have tea towels, and my grandma's like,
and my mom's trying to hide behind the roaster but they're looking at each
other they've just got this like mischievous giggle going on and
it's one of my favorite photos but you I want to have ones
with me and her in them together yeah yeah yeah
I mean and it's I get it like I look back and I don't
think I have a ton of pictures of me and my mom together it's
either my mom and my kids or me and my kids you know like
but me and my mom know and and that's we're so guilty of
it and even when we were little my mom isn't in a lot of
the pictures she was the picture taker when my niece passed and
we were trying to make the video they were making the video of it
and asked for pictures we were like we don't I
mean we have tons of pictures of her but not of her with us
you know because we're always is taking them.
And that's that's hard. You you need to make sure that you get in
the pictures. So make sure there's at least one picture
where you're not the photographer. You're not trying to do the selfie,
you know, even though like I think phones have made it a little easier.
But for sure, you know,
capture those those messy moments,
the real moments, those are the pictures. Like
people are in action. It's not the pose to like everybody look cute and
pretty, you know, family photos.
It's the ones where everybody's in the moment.
Yeah. Exactly.
Yeah. Yes.
And you can get your part like ask your spouse or your partner,
get me at the picture today, even if I resist.
Yeah. Of course, we did do it. Take it without my permission.
Right. Look.
pajamas, whatever it is. Just take the pictures.
Turn the camera around.
Even you're doing cookie decorating,
you're doing tree trimming, you're out caroling,
you're in the car and you guys are going to go see the lights.
If it has to be a selfie, get in the picture and capture those
moments, capture little videos,
those are even more fun. It's all right there at our fingertips.
tips. So use it because your future grandparent are your
future grand kids because you are going to be a grandparent one day.
Hopefully they're not going to be like, oh,
grandma had dark circles. You know,
we all have them.
They're there. But they're going to be like,
oh wow, she was so fun. Look at these.
Yeah. Like, that's what they treasure.
it really is. It really is.
Okay, I'm going to talk about pictures here too,
because one of the downsides of photos is
that we start to compare like,
oh my gosh, look at their Christmas tree,
that is perfect. It looks like something out of a department store.
Yeah, or like women.
Sorry, go ahead. Yeah, well, I was going to say, the mom who's like
baking the cookies, you know, you see the TikTok video of like the
mom and her cute little apron baking the perfect cookies with that perfect royal
icing and her sugar cookies look like a work of art.
You're like, well, yeah,
yeah. I have recently started scrolling Facebook to find the
baking that looks the most homemade. And that's who I'm purchasing it from.
Nice. I love it. I love it for me.
I'm actually really excited to support local entrepreneurs and get my baking done
in one fell swoop. It feels good. Yeah.
I always liked doing the nailed it challenge.
You know, you see like something and then you try to do it and
it obviously is not gonna turn out the same way and I'm like nailed
it. Here it is.
This is the real life. That's like a Christmas tradition I could get behind
with my kids. Mm-hmm. That would be fun.
Try it. Yeah. But the reality check behind a lot of it is like
as parents, we all know to get that perfect photo,
you have had at least one perfect meltdown minimum one.
Oh, yeah. So I have amazing stories about meltdowns.
I clearly remember. And these are so great.
So I remember when I was a kid,
we had to get dressed up for Christmas.
And we were ready to go,
you know, I always loved dressing up dance dancer,
you know, putting on a costume, anything with some rhinestones or like anything
pretty and some high heels. And I was like,
yes, but my sister was very much a tomboy.
She hated dresses, hated them.
And I remember this one Christmas,
like my mom had our matching outfits,
you know, you have the coordinated outfits for the kids.
She wanted that Christmas picture. As all moms do,
I mean, there wasn't anything out of the ordinary. I think she'd even let
my sister pick out her dress because she knew she didn't like dresses.
Well, my sister decided on Christmas Eve right before we're ready to go to
church that she was not wearing a dress.
It was like World War III in that house
because she was not gonna wear a dress and like she dug her heels
in, it was not happening,
she would not put that dress on, and my mom had not quite at
that point, got into the point of parenting where you learn like pick your
battles. So she was,
she dug her heels in and it was like stubborn,
meet stubborn. And then there's my dad who's like laugh,
well first he was upset with my sister and then he was laughing because
it was like neither side was going to give.
She had to have been maybe maybe at most four years old.
Yeah. Oh, but it was like battle royale.
Well fast forward about 30 years later.
And we're all getting ready for the big family picture.
All four of us kids are there with all of our kids and everybody's
getting dressed. And what does her daughter do?
She's not going to wear that dress.
Like almost the exact same fit.
Oh, it took, we're all dying because my brother
remembered it. I remembered it. My little brother didn't use baby,
but my mom, my dad and we are just cackling because
it's like you know that whole thing of like your mom wishes
that you have a child just like you when you have those moments
and she's like God's going to give you a child just like you and
there it was on full display and oh my gosh it was it
was great It was great. Oh my God.
But it's great coming through to But like,
you know, I mean just to get in like you look at the pictures
and it's fantastic But like the complete absolute meltdown
that has to happen I mean,
we had one in Disney world as a whole family or first like big
family trip And my niece did not want to wear her shirt Because of
the tag and you're like where it Disney you don't have scissors I think
we had to go and beg one of the cast members to find a
scissors to cut the tag out because she could not having the tag in
her shirt. It is like you look back at this picture and all we
remember is the whole drama that went into it.
I mean, it's a great memory, but yeah,
but that's the point. It's the memory and the being together and the getting
through it, right? That's, that's the real point.
families aren't made up of nothing but magic and excitement
stories. It's it's all of it.
It's the good, the bad, the ugly, and the fun,
and the magical, and the beautiful. Right.
And being able to find the humor in it all, because I mean,
you've got to laugh at it. Like, when you have a two and three-year-old,
he was like, this is the way it's going to be,
and they have decided, I mean, what can you do?
What can you do but laugh? And, you know,
and then you do get old enough where you start to learn to pick
your battles. Like there are some things that are worth fighting over and some
things you're like, find whatever. Wear the green and the purple and
the orange together. I don't care. Yeah,
it's fine. It's a great memory.
Look at you in your ridiculous outfit.
I will put that in the senior year book one day.
Love it. Um, let's give our,
let's give our listeners some like practical things they could do.
Like a December meltdown safety kit. Oh yeah,
build your safety to get like your emergency kit just in case.
Yeah, like contents, emergency chocolate,
must have. Must have, must have.
One pre-written boundary script.
So last week we talked about those boundary scripts to use with difficult family
members. Just go ahead and write it down. Like put it in the notes
on your phone, and then that way you have it.
So like you can look like you're scrolling through or checking your email,
but when it gets to that point, you're like, oh, boundary script,
let me have it. Yeah, you should also have one.
It's not that deep mantra.
Yes. It's not that deep. No,
it's not that deep. Nobody's gonna care.
No, exactly. I always do that.
Is this gonna matter in five years? Is this gonna matter in 10
years? And if the answer's no,
then it's not a battle worth fighting. My version of that is,
is this the sort I want to die on today? Right.
Yeah, but there's always great and like I learned that from my
mom who gave me that wonderful advice when I was raising kids
because she had to learn it as well. And it's true,
like it's it's just not going to matter if they want to shave their
head before Christmas. Okay,
if we're going with blue hair today, really not the sword you want to
die on. And if they fall,
and oh, I remember one Christmas, my sister looked like Rudolph because we took
my poor sister,
she's coming up a lot in this one, but there's this big hill,
this driveway hill by my parents' house,
and we lived on a cul-de-sac. And so this hill was super fun for
sledding, but it was also super fun when you were on a big wheel.
Do you remember the big wheels, with the big wheel and the fright and
the two little, It was like a tricycle, but it had the giant big
wheel on the front and it kind of sat down. And so we sent
my little sister down the big hill on the big wheel and
where the asphalt is compared to the driveway was like just enough of a
lip. She went like a hit the lip.
She went flying over the handrails on the big wheel and
scraped up her whole face on the asphalt.
And this was like right at Christmas and so we had like a scraped
up nose. Oh my mom was so mad at us I mean because we
shouldn't have sent my little sister down You know,
it was like you can do it Um,
and yes, so how we learn it's also how he learned his
kids, right? Yeah, I mean not not the smartest moment
in our lives, but Yeah,
so back to our meltdown safety kit,
though. Sorry, we got on a little squirrel moment there.
A screenshot of your done is better than perfect,
quote. Just make that your wallpaper done is better than
perfect. Or you could like just if it wasn't done the way you wanted,
like say it was your baking, you could just file this under nailed it.
right post that sucker on Facebook or
Instagram. Let's start that back up.
I loved that trend. That trend was great.
Yeah. We have a lemur text. So I think you need to have a
friend that you could text. Tell me to calm down.
Yeah. We have a lemur.
I was pulling it up here. I don't
know knowing, it's perfect for Canadians. But we send it to each other when
it's like, you'll get the lemur text with the like just
calm down. Just calm down.
Yeah. Yeah. Or you know,
have the friends like I have with Patty who is like Megan,
you don't look good in orange and you're far too pretty for Jim.
Way too pretty for prison. I think I've been sent you the song what
they to listen to. You did. You did.
That's a good one. That's a good like if I need a laugh song.
I can pull that one up and I'm like, all right. Okay.
All right. Taking myself way too seriously right now.
And it's going to be all right. But you know,
and then here's your permission slip from Patty and Megan to you.
It's okay to be human today and every day.
It's okay. It's okay.
Sorry, I just was thinking about songs again. Another really good one.
Like, if you have tea to spill to your friends, you should Spotify brand
to put your bra on. That almost became our theme song friends.
If we could figure out how to do that, but Patty and I don't
know enough about all of that, but like that was our,
that was a good one. red to put your broad.
Oh my gosh. Yeah. It's so red back.
Oh yeah. And nobody got time for this.
Remember that one from like your way back when?
Yeah. I like that. Nobody got time for this.
Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah.
Oh good times. Very friends.
Well we're keeping this one a lot shorter because we know it's December and
you don't have a lot of time on your hands and you were just
trying to make it through. So hopefully this gave you a few great tips,
but here's the truth. A calmer mom creates a calmer season.
Rest is an indulgent, it's leadership.
And giving yourself permission to breathe isn't an act of rebellion.
It's how you keep the magic alive without losing yourself in the process.
So, simplify, soften,
breathe, and let things be enough because you
are enough, even in December.
Well, heart felt right there.
I feel like I should say it again because you are enough.
And how many of us need to hear that often?
Truly though. Truly though.
Yeah. All right. Well,
we hope you're surviving. We hope you're going to make it to January.
We know you will grab that extra bottle of wine while you're at the
store or better yet,
order it when you do your online grocery order.
Yeah. Give yourself a little treat and know that it's
going to be okay. And you are making magical memories no matter what is
happening. Yeah. That's truly it.
No matter what happens, it's a memory. Yep.
So make the most of it. All right,
friends, well, we will see you next time, a no-braz required.
Have a have a have a lovely December season.
Yes, that's the goal.
Enjoy it. Take the time to actually be present and enjoy.
And we'll see you next time.