1 00:00:02,380 --> 00:00:06,920 Hey bag. We're so excited 2 00:00:06,921 --> 00:00:09,160 to be here today. We are, 3 00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:13,720 we are, we are. Uh, welcome back to no bras required where the dress 4 00:00:13,721 --> 00:00:15,800 code is flexible, but the honesty is not. 5 00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:21,300 Today's episode is called giving yourself permission to breathe because let's 6 00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:25,840 be real. December is basically like Olympics for mobs. 7 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:30,200 There's no metal ceremony, the events are endless, 8 00:00:30,201 --> 00:00:34,100 And somehow you have managed to become the athlete, 9 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,560 the coach, the organizer, the tech crew, 10 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,940 emotional support, animal and snack provider. 11 00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:44,760 So if you've been feeling like you're walking a tightrope lately made of garland 12 00:00:44,761 --> 00:00:47,340 and unpaid labor, this one is for you. 13 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:50,900 Yes, friends, because we know you are in it. 14 00:00:51,100 --> 00:00:55,500 It is December when you were listening to this and you are in the 15 00:00:55,501 --> 00:01:00,020 thick of the madness. So So we are going to talk about how 16 00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:04,800 to survive and really just giving yourself permission to 17 00:01:04,801 --> 00:01:08,280 breathe in December because it's so important. 18 00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:13,760 So let's get into it. So let's talk about the invisible load, 19 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:19,040 holiday edition because we've already talked about the invisible workload of women and 20 00:01:19,041 --> 00:01:21,860 we know on the daily basis there's a lot, 21 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:26,300 but you're You're not just carrying the regular to-do list right now. 22 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:31,580 You are trying to remember if there's pajamas for 23 00:01:31,581 --> 00:01:36,580 the 1200th spirit week of the year because there's 24 00:01:36,581 --> 00:01:41,080 always some schools have like a spirit week every week in the month of 25 00:01:41,081 --> 00:01:44,320 December because they hate all of us moms, 26 00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:47,800 I think. Well, and then if you've got your kids an extra curricular, 27 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:50,600 they've got spirit weeks too. Right. 28 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,000 Because everybody's just trying to survive. and so they think if they can make 29 00:01:54,001 --> 00:01:57,960 it fun with new ideas and spirit things, 30 00:01:57,961 --> 00:02:01,060 then maybe we'll make it to the end. 31 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,040 The teacher gifts, remembering them, 32 00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:08,980 making them thoughtful but not weird, but also budget friendly. 33 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,960 And I, four kids, 34 00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:14,640 four kids in, I don't know how to do that. 35 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:18,140 Like I, as a teacher, do you not want another coffee mug? 36 00:02:18,141 --> 00:02:22,880 I don't want another bottle of random holiday lotion from 37 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:25,820 Bath & Body Works in a scent that nobody likes. 38 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,400 Do you know what never goes out of style for a teacher gift? 39 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:34,060 Gift cards to Starbucks? Alcohol. 40 00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:37,960 Oh that too. But please don't send that to school with your kid. 41 00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:41,380 As the administrator? No no. 42 00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:44,260 Toxin, you have to do like the, 43 00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:46,960 hey like the creepy person, 44 00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:49,420 I've got something for you and my trunk. 45 00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:54,240 It's in the bag. Come pick it up. 46 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,620 I've actually had parents do that. They're like, 47 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,240 hey, I have something for you. It's in my trunk. 48 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,220 I get big in the dance studio. 49 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:08,840 They're like, you always know you're getting your boat to get alcohol because they 50 00:03:08,841 --> 00:03:11,860 had it over to you with the biggest file on their face and it's 51 00:03:11,861 --> 00:03:16,400 like, this is because I deal with my child to or like there's a 52 00:03:16,401 --> 00:03:20,660 little something special to warm your spirit and it's like it's like the inside 53 00:03:20,661 --> 00:03:22,700 joke and I'm like oh man I love it. 54 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,780 Yeah I do love that I have one mom she's really great she's like 55 00:03:26,781 --> 00:03:31,440 and here's your wine. Thank you thank you so much yeah 56 00:03:31,441 --> 00:03:35,960 um you've got the inventory of wrapping paper that you swore 57 00:03:35,961 --> 00:03:40,540 you bought but you can't find and you did buy but you I'll find 58 00:03:40,541 --> 00:03:43,420 it till next Christmas. Yes, it is like, 59 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:47,960 you know, those things that if you're looking for it, 60 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,340 you can't ever find it. I mean, this happens to me all the time. 61 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,880 Whenever I'm looking for something, I can't find it. 62 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,400 I swear I put it in this one spot and then I stop looking 63 00:03:56,401 --> 00:03:58,780 for it. I go to look for something else and then all of a 64 00:03:58,781 --> 00:04:01,240 sudden I find it. But it's not, you know, when I need it and 65 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,360 that, I feel like that happens all the time. 66 00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:08,460 Rapping paper and the gift bags because you get tired of wrapping 67 00:04:08,461 --> 00:04:11,280 and you run out of tape and then you're just over it. 68 00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:14,960 And so you're like, where's the gift bags? And you can't ever find them. 69 00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:19,440 And then you're out of tape. So you have to do freaking tissue paper 70 00:04:19,441 --> 00:04:22,560 because you can't just take the bag clothes because that's my favorite trick. 71 00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:26,180 It's, yeah. I have, 72 00:04:26,540 --> 00:04:29,120 this is gonna sound crazy, but you know me, 73 00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:31,680 I'm like chaos unleashed. 74 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,140 I have gift paper in my, 75 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:37,240 I got a in my car. 76 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,960 I forget what that's called. Oh, like the console? 77 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,760 The console at all times. Ooh, 78 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,420 that's actually like a good life hack, Patty. 79 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:50,200 I like this. Thank you. I used to carry extra socks. 80 00:04:50,780 --> 00:04:54,460 I used to carry extra socks, but I've replaced it with a gift wrapping 81 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,820 paper and the tissue paper that goes in the bags. 82 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:03,960 Nice. And if it's coming handy more after than you would 83 00:05:03,961 --> 00:05:06,420 believe. I bet. Yeah. 84 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,640 Yeah. I'm like the person running through the aisles of Walmart trying to find 85 00:05:10,641 --> 00:05:13,520 it and cursing because I can't because I'm like, 86 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,620 I don't care about Paw Patrol and whatever birthday party thing. 87 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:21,860 But yeah. Yeah. And then we've got like the, 88 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:26,240 oh God, what did I sign up for to bring to this party list? 89 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,540 Because I signed up on the sign of genius, 90 00:05:29,541 --> 00:05:32,900 But I can't find which freaking sign of genius it was or remember what 91 00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:36,060 email I used. And so I don't even remember what we're bringing to this 92 00:05:36,061 --> 00:05:38,380 one. Yes, great. 93 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:42,620 All the time. And then we thought only like the to-do list load, 94 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,980 but there's the emotional load like you're navigating every family members feelings. 95 00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:52,660 Especially if you've got any like unrest in your family or 96 00:05:52,661 --> 00:05:55,820 people that don't get along always creeps up this time of year. 97 00:05:55,821 --> 00:05:59,240 you're keeping the kids from going into full-gremlin mode. 98 00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:03,340 Yeah. And you're pretending that you're totally fine. 99 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:07,140 It's hot. We all get pitchy like Ross off of friends. 100 00:06:07,980 --> 00:06:10,900 Well, I'm trying to survive my short run in the adrenaline. 101 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:17,140 It's insane. It's insane. December is the one month we're putting gas in 102 00:06:17,141 --> 00:06:19,980 your car. It feels kind of like self-care. 103 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,180 Yes. So sad. But it is. 104 00:06:24,181 --> 00:06:29,000 Cause you're like, I have these five minutes of just standing here. 105 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,820 And nobody's talking to you at the pumps are asking if you got this 106 00:06:32,821 --> 00:06:35,160 done or what are we doing now? Right. 107 00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:38,760 Yeah. I think I'm going to go fill in my car today. 108 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,280 Yeah. Oh, I hate filling up my car, 109 00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:43,580 but I really do. I understand like that, 110 00:06:43,581 --> 00:06:47,000 that really does feel like a small vacation in December. 111 00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:51,420 Yeah. You know, I think it's, it's important to remember this isn't a failure. 112 00:06:51,421 --> 00:06:53,780 the season, this time, 113 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:58,580 how you feel. It's not a failure. It's an overload season already layered on 114 00:06:58,581 --> 00:07:00,620 top of an already overloaded life. 115 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:06,000 Correct. Yeah. Yeah. So 116 00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:09,180 we're going to give you permission to breathe, like for real breathe. 117 00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:15,560 Also, I have been taking a coaching course and 118 00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:18,060 they talk about your breath, 119 00:07:18,340 --> 00:07:20,680 how you do it. So you first of all, you want to it up 120 00:07:20,681 --> 00:07:23,580 tall. Okay. Take a deep deep breath in. 121 00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:30,700 Hold it for a second, exhale, and at the end of it you smile. 122 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,920 Doesn't that like kind of just flip the energy? 123 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,420 It's like flip in the switch. It's I never knew how much smiling at 124 00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:45,940 the end of an exhale could actually improve and help your 125 00:07:45,941 --> 00:07:48,080 nervous system. Like it's insane. 126 00:07:49,460 --> 00:07:52,140 It's You have to do it a couple times, but it's like, 127 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:55,120 yeah, 128 00:07:55,780 --> 00:07:57,960 all right, well, the breath is so important. I mean, 129 00:07:57,980 --> 00:08:02,660 we talk about that a lot in dance and, but I think, 130 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,860 you know, in its school now, 131 00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:10,100 I mean, kids have so much anxiety that we are talking a lot about 132 00:08:10,101 --> 00:08:12,900 finding their breath and grounding themselves. 133 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,840 And, you know, we, we forget sometimes that we need that too. 134 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:20,500 So like, when we're feeling like our chest is getting tight. 135 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,420 The panic is rising. You can feel that stress. 136 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:27,380 You know what those triggers are. You know when it's building. 137 00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:31,600 Yeah, you get up and you do this. And you have to unclutch your 138 00:08:31,601 --> 00:08:34,100 jaw and wiggle it to remember there's movement there. 139 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,620 Yep. And drop your shoulders. That's my favorite. 140 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:42,220 Dr. JD drop your shoulders. Get your tongue off the roof of your mouth 141 00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:47,220 because it's always there when you're stressed and then work 142 00:08:47,221 --> 00:08:50,740 on that breathing because we forget oxygen's free. 143 00:08:54,040 --> 00:09:00,220 It is. Yes and 144 00:09:00,221 --> 00:09:05,600 it doesn't take long to reset like a couple of like in-for-for-count, 145 00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:08,620 old-for-two, exhale-for-six, 146 00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:12,460 smile at the of it do that two or three times and you will 147 00:09:12,461 --> 00:09:14,840 feel like a whole new woman. Yeah, 148 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,780 because breathing's like yours annex. It can't be. 149 00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:22,100 It can't be. It's cheaper. It's portable. 150 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,340 Nobody judges for you doing it in public. 151 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:30,840 Right. Or it could be your wine or your 152 00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:34,260 tequila. Definitely more socially appropriate to breathe. 153 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,920 Yeah. And to just start chugging the bottle, 154 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,240 because that's where you're at. Yeah, um, 155 00:09:40,820 --> 00:09:43,860 let's get into a little bit about why we feel that way in the 156 00:09:43,861 --> 00:09:48,760 first place and giving our self permission to not do 157 00:09:48,761 --> 00:09:52,780 the things. Like, I, 158 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,680 I'm going to be okay if the house looks like a festive crime scene. 159 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:03,240 Right, everything doesn't need to match. It's okay. 160 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:08,340 It's okay. if the elf does not move every single night you 161 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:12,020 can tell the children they touched it she lost her magic put her in 162 00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:14,800 some sugar and it's gonna take a week to 10 days for her to 163 00:10:14,801 --> 00:10:19,720 reset I love 164 00:10:19,721 --> 00:10:24,240 that one and it's totally okay too if the holiday cards go out 165 00:10:24,241 --> 00:10:29,640 in January or not at all you could call it a year-of-review recap and 166 00:10:29,641 --> 00:10:34,240 do it after Christmas. I was to picture on Facebook and call it a 167 00:10:34,241 --> 00:10:36,520 day. Put it on the Instagram and be like, 168 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,380 here's your Christmas card. Yeah. Merry Christmas. 169 00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:44,020 Yeah. Or it's okay if your kids gingerbread house collapses. 170 00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:47,500 And seriously, why are you even trying to do gingerbread houses? 171 00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:52,360 Because I feel like they are an invention that is just to 172 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:54,840 create tension and make parents crazy. 173 00:10:54,841 --> 00:10:59,040 It's like the school projects. You know that it seems like an amazing idea 174 00:10:59,041 --> 00:11:05,100 and then you realize you have to do all the work Like just don't 175 00:11:05,101 --> 00:11:09,760 Just don't And every should you drop gives you more space 176 00:11:09,761 --> 00:11:12,300 for one want. Yeah, 177 00:11:12,301 --> 00:11:16,940 it's okay The kids 178 00:11:16,941 --> 00:11:21,560 aren't gonna remember it anyway Probably not oh 179 00:11:21,561 --> 00:11:26,960 probably not What they will remember is you losing your mind Yeah, 180 00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:30,840 or the snuggles that you decided to have on the couch instead of the 181 00:11:30,841 --> 00:11:35,420 gingerbread houses. Yep. Watching spirited or whatever 182 00:11:35,421 --> 00:11:38,400 fun holiday movie that you guys want to do as a family. 183 00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:41,420 Yeah. Pop some popcorn in the microwave, 184 00:11:42,060 --> 00:11:45,020 get some M&Ms, do popcorn and surprises. 185 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:49,440 That will be just as great as having this gingerbread house that you worked 186 00:11:49,441 --> 00:11:52,140 hours on and you can't even eat it. 187 00:11:52,141 --> 00:11:56,640 Yeah, like, or like turn on the tunes and have a dance party in 188 00:11:56,641 --> 00:12:00,960 the living room and work some of that stuff out of your system. 189 00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:03,860 Yeah. Right? Yeah. 190 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:09,220 Yeah. So let's talk about the emotional overdraft fee because we are 191 00:12:09,221 --> 00:12:14,160 like a bank account and we are overdrafting ourselves in December 192 00:12:14,161 --> 00:12:18,340 and you may be overdrafting your bank account as well trying to buy all 193 00:12:18,341 --> 00:12:21,320 of these gifts. So, every time you say yes, 194 00:12:21,820 --> 00:12:24,120 when you mean, oh, please no, 195 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,920 you're overdrafting your emotional account, 196 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:30,880 and we're so guilty of this. Women are so guilty of this. 197 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,240 It takes us so long just to learn the word no, 198 00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:36,400 because a lot of us are people-pleasers, 199 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,740 and we don't like to disappoint people. 200 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:45,360 But then the symptoms or the result of us overdrafting 201 00:12:45,361 --> 00:12:49,920 our emotional account is we're snapping over nothing we're 202 00:12:49,921 --> 00:12:54,620 crying at the commercials oh do you know what I always know 203 00:12:54,621 --> 00:13:00,040 that I'm at the end of my like emotional account limit when 204 00:13:00,041 --> 00:13:04,260 I read something that hits me in the heart and I almost cry because 205 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:08,400 I'm not a cryer yeah and it happened the other day I was in 206 00:13:08,401 --> 00:13:12,380 hard store, and I was reading something so standing in the aisle, 207 00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:15,500 bawling by myself. Oh no, 208 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,420 I need a nap in a sticker spot. 209 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,320 Like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 210 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:26,240 What's the little triggers? The minor, like the public's commercials here is a grocery 211 00:13:26,241 --> 00:13:30,360 store, but they do these like ridiculously emotional, 212 00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:35,920 you know, like the long-lost son coming home from war or 213 00:13:35,921 --> 00:13:38,020 grandma, like in the kitchen, 214 00:13:38,021 --> 00:13:41,200 but it's not really grandma. It's just the memory of grandma. 215 00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:44,780 Like, oh, that just means you have a heart. 216 00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,680 If you don't cry, those, that's like not crying at old Yeller. 217 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,940 Right. My sister and I call that black heart. 218 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,700 How can you not? 219 00:13:56,040 --> 00:14:00,900 Oh, so great. Yeah. They're designed to get you the Budweiser horse and 220 00:14:00,901 --> 00:14:04,680 the customers like those I love those. 221 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:06,900 Those are my favorite super bowl commercials. 222 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:11,360 Yeah, they're the best. Yeah, I find rage cleaning. 223 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:16,580 Yes, like I'm cleaning my house to make the holidays magical and 224 00:14:16,581 --> 00:14:19,420 I'm so pissed at everybody that lives with me. 225 00:14:19,820 --> 00:14:22,260 Yes, or I mean, I just like, 226 00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:24,700 I actually was rage cleaning the other day. 227 00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:29,440 I went to find the the steel wall because 228 00:14:29,441 --> 00:14:31,760 I can't remember what I was trying to clean. 229 00:14:31,860 --> 00:14:34,840 But it was so something and I needed the steel wool to like get 230 00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:37,800 whatever was on there off and I couldn't find it. 231 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:42,360 So I'm like throwing everything out from under the cabinets because it's nowhere to 232 00:14:42,361 --> 00:14:45,200 be found. And then I start noticing like, 233 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,620 well, and then this is wrong. It was the sink. 234 00:14:47,860 --> 00:14:52,220 Like, I hate our under under the counter sink. 235 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,460 Like the counter goes over the top. And so you have that edge right 236 00:14:56,461 --> 00:14:59,760 along it where it's like sealed but not and so it gets all the 237 00:14:59,761 --> 00:15:03,340 gunk and so you have to like get in there and scrape it out 238 00:15:03,341 --> 00:15:07,600 and so then I start cleaning that and then I'm like oh and then 239 00:15:07,601 --> 00:15:11,660 behind it and then so I was losing my mind and Mike's like did 240 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,720 you mean to throw this on the floor? He's like yes yes I did 241 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,680 where's my steel wool? He's like okay. 242 00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:22,400 Oh no. Call me you down. 243 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,060 Yeah exactly right. 244 00:15:25,061 --> 00:15:27,540 Yeah, it was it was pretty bad. 245 00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:29,880 And the kids like they all scatter like roaches, 246 00:15:29,881 --> 00:15:34,500 you know, it's like when you turn the lights on and roaches scatter That's 247 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:37,640 exactly how my family was because they saw it and they were like gone 248 00:15:37,641 --> 00:15:42,160 nobody was around to me We all know how this is gonna 249 00:15:42,161 --> 00:15:47,600 end run run save yourself I 250 00:15:47,601 --> 00:15:52,480 find two sometimes I what I'm like in 251 00:15:52,481 --> 00:15:57,200 it. One of my symptoms is like I fantasize about booking 252 00:15:57,201 --> 00:16:01,640 myself into a hotel for one where I can order in room service. 253 00:16:01,641 --> 00:16:06,640 I control the TV remote and I'm gonna accidentally 254 00:16:06,641 --> 00:16:10,300 forget to pack my work bag. 255 00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:13,840 So I can't even, I don't have my laptop. I'm sorry I can't work. 256 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:18,560 I just have to lay here and just live by myself 257 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:21,560 for a weekend with snacks and silence. 258 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:27,300 Yeah. I started fantasizing about just getting myself a little trailer 259 00:16:27,301 --> 00:16:31,320 on the beach. I'm living there all by myself. 260 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:37,600 Nobody's allowed to come. It's just me and the ocean and 261 00:16:37,601 --> 00:16:40,500 the sunshine. That's where I need to be. 262 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:44,640 And that's crazy because we both actually really love people. 263 00:16:44,641 --> 00:16:46,740 Yeah, I do. 264 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,100 I get a lot of energy off people, but and then I also am 265 00:16:50,101 --> 00:16:54,620 like people out like I I'm like that perfect introvert extrovert kind of 266 00:16:54,621 --> 00:16:59,320 person where I have to recharge my batteries and I know that like 267 00:16:59,321 --> 00:17:04,100 my baseline energy in December is battery 3% and 268 00:17:04,101 --> 00:17:06,700 it's refusing to charge. Charger is broken. 269 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:11,960 We lost the cube. Something is not working and 270 00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:14,340 we can't, we just can't. 271 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:19,400 Yeah, yeah. What do you find actually helps? 272 00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:24,780 So delegating really, 273 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,600 really helps. And it's hard to do. 274 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:31,460 It's getting easier now that the kids are older. 275 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,420 So, you know, giving the kids the, 276 00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:40,620 we do like sibling 277 00:17:40,621 --> 00:17:45,240 gifts, you know, so they have to like give each other gifts or like 278 00:17:45,241 --> 00:17:50,080 Liam has taken over being my person who decorates for Christmas. 279 00:17:50,260 --> 00:17:55,000 Loves it and so he the last couple of years has totally decorated 280 00:17:55,001 --> 00:17:58,380 the house. That is a huge pressure off of me because you know, 281 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,400 you've seen I've taken you on a tour of my house. 282 00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:04,280 I have seven Christmas trees, the Garland, 283 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:09,940 like we go all out and I've slowly started removing things 284 00:18:09,941 --> 00:18:13,360 just cause I'm tired of it and I don't want to do it, 285 00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:15,880 but if he'll do it, 286 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:19,040 then, you know, it's okay. But that helps, 287 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,880 you know, you can make a kid a tradition captain, 288 00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:26,960 give each of them something that they're going to be over and they're the 289 00:18:26,961 --> 00:18:29,020 ones who take it on. Yeah. 290 00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:33,820 What do you do? We, 291 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:36,180 I, okay, couple of things. 292 00:18:36,580 --> 00:18:41,380 And one of them is going to sound weird. I like to just 293 00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:44,360 set aside a morning or a day that I'm going to make buns, 294 00:18:44,740 --> 00:18:48,280 because buns was like the thing my mom always did. 295 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:53,420 So it just feels like my time for reflection and thinking about her 296 00:18:53,421 --> 00:18:57,880 like she's there with me. And nobody likes to help. 297 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,680 Oh, so they quite often leave me alone in the kitchen. 298 00:19:01,681 --> 00:19:04,660 So I have the kitchen to myself. And it's I don't know. 299 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,960 There's something about punching that no doubt it's there. 300 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:12,540 There's something about getting your hands all gucky that feels childlike 301 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,740 and there's a lot of thinking time involved in it. 302 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,520 So it does take it's a process of a day. 303 00:19:20,521 --> 00:19:24,640 So it takes a lot and I just don't book anything else because that 304 00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:28,440 time to be a sacred. Yeah. Yeah, and everybody loves your buns. 305 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:39,140 Yeah, I'm known for my buns, but it 306 00:19:39,141 --> 00:19:41,380 brings me something too. 307 00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:44,620 It's something I get to do that shows love to my family, 308 00:19:44,621 --> 00:19:48,360 but it's something that's all so for me. So I find that, 309 00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:52,640 and like, girl, any day, I can plan to stay at my pajamas all 310 00:19:52,641 --> 00:19:54,760 day, not put a bra on, 311 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:58,900 throw a little like rum chotta in my Earl Grey tea, 312 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:03,620 like maybe as I clean, like I don't care if I'm intoxicated while I 313 00:20:03,621 --> 00:20:07,340 dust, like I feel I feel like I could do both really well. 314 00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:12,120 Right. So, you know, like just that kind of thing with like low key 315 00:20:12,121 --> 00:20:16,740 tunes playing in the background, I live for those kind of 316 00:20:16,741 --> 00:20:22,080 like slow motion, slow motion moments and then quite often like 317 00:20:22,081 --> 00:20:24,360 with cleaning people will jump into my household, 318 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,260 like they'll see you doing it they'll I'm going to get this remote perfect. 319 00:20:29,580 --> 00:20:33,120 Yeah. Yeah. I delegate a lot of my wrapping too, 320 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,400 like Charlie loves to wrap presents. I'm like, 321 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:38,380 hey girl. Go for it. Here you are. 322 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,960 Yeah. Love that. Love that for both of us. 323 00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:46,000 I am. I am the queen of shopping online. 324 00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:49,960 for everything. I do not go in stores anymore. 325 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:54,300 If you catch me in a store, we are in desperate times. 326 00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:59,000 But yeah, I mean, I do everything online. 327 00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:03,340 I even do my grocery shopping and grocery like every week. 328 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,700 I do that online and I just drive through that little happy pickup. 329 00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:12,360 Any way that I can outsource things and save myself time. 330 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:16,300 So, like, I can sit in my soft pants on the couch or, 331 00:21:16,301 --> 00:21:18,480 like, you know, grocery shopping, 332 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,660 while we're driving to church, Mike's driving to church. 333 00:21:22,060 --> 00:21:25,200 It's a 30-minute drive for us. I'm ordering the groceries. 334 00:21:25,260 --> 00:21:28,160 What do we need? Set the pickup time and it's done. 335 00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:32,600 Like that, that helps a lot to take that pressure off because that can 336 00:21:32,601 --> 00:21:36,820 be hours by the time you, like, walk through the aisles and find everything. 337 00:21:37,340 --> 00:21:39,840 It also saves us a lot of money because there's no, 338 00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:43,360 like, impulse buys Yeah, because you have to search for everything. 339 00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:46,620 Well, you're not buying the things you don't need that you think you'll use 340 00:21:46,621 --> 00:21:48,880 that just rot in the fridge. Yeah, 341 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,340 like Yeah, 342 00:21:51,341 --> 00:21:55,360 yeah, so that helps a lot But yeah, 343 00:21:55,460 --> 00:21:59,680 I mean, I think Any way that you can take things off of your 344 00:21:59,681 --> 00:22:02,240 plate and have other people pick it up. 345 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:07,200 That's that's great So let's talk about the I like this 346 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:11,740 the mom recharge menu So let's 347 00:22:11,741 --> 00:22:15,360 do some fun things that people can do. Like five minute, 348 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:20,180 10 minute, 30 minute luxury edition of things they 349 00:22:20,181 --> 00:22:24,640 can do to just help recharge their batteries. Okay, 350 00:22:25,020 --> 00:22:28,040 I, for me personally, I will always start with gratitude. 351 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:32,560 I have a little gratitude journal. I write the things that I'm grateful for 352 00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:35,580 in it. Or I just sit and look out the window with like, 353 00:22:35,581 --> 00:22:40,260 I am in love with roasted hazelnut lattes, 354 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:45,480 oh man oh man they're so good so yeah to sit and 355 00:22:45,481 --> 00:22:50,980 look out my picture window maybe a dearle walk by nice 356 00:22:50,981 --> 00:22:55,920 yeah it's it's a nice little recharge for me yeah um I 357 00:22:55,921 --> 00:22:59,120 also I have a 30 minute commute. 358 00:23:00,660 --> 00:23:05,480 I love to turn the radio off or sometimes on depending 359 00:23:05,481 --> 00:23:08,060 on the mood and what my soul needs, 360 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:13,160 but a 30 minute drive in silence alone with your thoughts or just nothingness, 361 00:23:13,220 --> 00:23:17,580 just letting your mind be blank is a beautiful thing. 362 00:23:18,300 --> 00:23:22,860 And sometimes pounding out the hits and singing like you are like 363 00:23:22,540 --> 00:23:25,640 like the rock star. Oh, 364 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,600 selling out the Taylor Swift stadiums, but it's you. 365 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,780 Yeah. Yeah. How about you? 366 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:37,340 What do you like to do? Um, little things I like to make like 367 00:23:37,341 --> 00:23:40,380 a favorite beverage. So whether, 368 00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:43,720 you know, it's, um, especially in the holidays, 369 00:23:43,721 --> 00:23:46,540 I like to go through and get like a chai, 370 00:23:46,820 --> 00:23:51,560 tea, gingerbread latte and just sit somewhere and 371 00:23:51,561 --> 00:23:55,880 like drink it. And you know just enjoy it and quiet. 372 00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,820 Like that's, I love that. Like little treats for myself here and there. 373 00:24:02,580 --> 00:24:07,320 Sometimes just like putting on headphones and going out for 374 00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:11,860 a walk and listening to a podcast or even just in 375 00:24:11,861 --> 00:24:16,440 silence is great. I do like to put on Christmas 376 00:24:16,441 --> 00:24:19,860 concerts in my car because they're amazing. 377 00:24:20,420 --> 00:24:25,180 Like I nobody knows what they're missing out on because it'll 378 00:24:25,181 --> 00:24:29,740 never be in public. But I can do some amazing, 379 00:24:30,060 --> 00:24:32,960 like, we'll give me some like old school Amy Grant, 380 00:24:33,270 --> 00:24:35,400 some Celine Dion Christmas. 381 00:24:35,980 --> 00:24:39,780 Like yeah, buddy. top of my lungs, 382 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,840 going for it. Sometimes I'll take the long way, 383 00:24:44,100 --> 00:24:47,240 because like my commute now is not 30 minutes used to be. 384 00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:51,540 And so that was a good time. But you know, 385 00:24:51,940 --> 00:24:54,700 or just like sitting and scrolling on my phone, 386 00:24:54,701 --> 00:24:58,380 like lately, that like TikTok has been a little release, 387 00:24:58,500 --> 00:25:02,700 like finding the panda videos or the dumb dog videos. 388 00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:07,860 Because we have two labs, like usually I get all the lab ones about 389 00:25:07,861 --> 00:25:12,580 like my in Jeff or I know what are they called Max in Jeff 390 00:25:12,581 --> 00:25:17,300 or like the one dog he's like super big and hit like 391 00:25:17,301 --> 00:25:20,880 to do like he's big and strong and then there's Jeff the one that's 392 00:25:20,881 --> 00:25:23,100 like tongue is hanging out of his mouth and he looks crazy. 393 00:25:23,460 --> 00:25:27,280 There's a really funny to me because there's our my dogs pretty much flash 394 00:25:27,281 --> 00:25:31,800 and tell me yeah there's always there's always that so like just little things 395 00:25:31,801 --> 00:25:36,280 where you know it feels like a little vacation for a minute and then 396 00:25:36,281 --> 00:25:39,880 it's like Okay, I've reset. Let's let's go back into it. 397 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,740 I do too. This is like feels luxury. 398 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:49,100 Feels like luxury addition to me. But like just 399 00:25:49,101 --> 00:25:53,860 that hot bubble bath with like 400 00:25:53,861 --> 00:25:56,160 glass of cold water and some candles, 401 00:25:56,161 --> 00:25:58,660 like not even the lights on. Yeah, 402 00:25:58,661 --> 00:26:01,300 yeah. Oh, it's so good. 403 00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:05,540 It's so good. I am I hope you know I've talked about how I 404 00:26:05,541 --> 00:26:09,180 have a love hate relationship with my bath tub because it's not deep enough 405 00:26:09,181 --> 00:26:12,460 But like even just a hot shower and you do one of those bath 406 00:26:12,461 --> 00:26:17,340 bomb things like in the shower that will like Yeah, 407 00:26:17,341 --> 00:26:20,640 I don't know what they're called Yeah, 408 00:26:20,641 --> 00:26:24,740 yeah, and then you just stand there and you like turn the water on 409 00:26:24,741 --> 00:26:28,100 as how does you can stand it? And you stay there until the water 410 00:26:28,101 --> 00:26:32,760 hot rudder runs out, which I know so bad for the environment So good 411 00:26:32,761 --> 00:26:36,440 for making. So good for me. And like you're not there to shave your 412 00:26:36,441 --> 00:26:40,520 legs. You're not there to wash your hair. Like you are just letting that 413 00:26:40,521 --> 00:26:44,240 hot water run over you and like enjoying that moment. 414 00:26:44,580 --> 00:26:47,940 Maybe do a little sugar scrub and huh. 415 00:26:48,620 --> 00:26:51,320 Yeah. Just feels so good. It really does. 416 00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:56,620 It really does. Yeah. Let's move on to the 417 00:26:56,621 --> 00:26:58,640 bee in the photo reminder. 418 00:27:00,020 --> 00:27:02,340 We talk about this a lot, friends, 419 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,420 but we're going to talk about it again because it is so important. 420 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,100 The kids don't care how you look. 421 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,860 They just want to know that you are a part of their story. 422 00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:19,760 And when you were gone, they were going to want to look back and 423 00:27:19,761 --> 00:27:22,380 see not just pictures of them growing up, 424 00:27:22,381 --> 00:27:26,940 but them with you. Because you are the most important person to them. 425 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,160 Yeah, well, and speaking from experience, 426 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,360 like I lost my mom about 12 years ago, 427 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:38,120 and there are so few pictures of her with us. 428 00:27:38,460 --> 00:27:40,520 I have one of her and my grandma, 429 00:27:40,940 --> 00:27:45,380 and I love this photo because they passed within three months of each other 430 00:27:45,381 --> 00:27:47,720 and both hated to be in photos. 431 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:51,780 And I took it of them doing dishes at my sister's house. 432 00:27:52,340 --> 00:27:54,720 And so they both have tea towels, and my grandma's like, 433 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,260 and my mom's trying to hide behind the roaster but they're looking at each 434 00:27:58,261 --> 00:28:02,860 other they've just got this like mischievous giggle going on and 435 00:28:02,861 --> 00:28:07,540 it's one of my favorite photos but you I want to have ones 436 00:28:07,541 --> 00:28:12,100 with me and her in them together yeah yeah yeah 437 00:28:12,101 --> 00:28:16,280 I mean and it's I get it like I look back and I don't 438 00:28:16,281 --> 00:28:19,700 think I have a ton of pictures of me and my mom together it's 439 00:28:19,701 --> 00:28:23,120 either my mom and my kids or me and my kids you know like 440 00:28:23,121 --> 00:28:27,680 but me and my mom know and and that's we're so guilty of 441 00:28:27,681 --> 00:28:30,480 it and even when we were little my mom isn't in a lot of 442 00:28:30,481 --> 00:28:35,000 the pictures she was the picture taker when my niece passed and 443 00:28:35,001 --> 00:28:38,320 we were trying to make the video they were making the video of it 444 00:28:38,321 --> 00:28:42,940 and asked for pictures we were like we don't I 445 00:28:42,941 --> 00:28:46,740 mean we have tons of pictures of her but not of her with us 446 00:28:46,741 --> 00:28:49,800 you know because we're always is taking them. 447 00:28:50,860 --> 00:28:54,920 And that's that's hard. You you need to make sure that you get in 448 00:28:54,921 --> 00:28:59,580 the pictures. So make sure there's at least one picture 449 00:28:59,581 --> 00:29:03,340 where you're not the photographer. You're not trying to do the selfie, 450 00:29:04,060 --> 00:29:08,760 you know, even though like I think phones have made it a little easier. 451 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,840 But for sure, you know, 452 00:29:11,020 --> 00:29:13,380 capture those those messy moments, 453 00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:18,540 the real moments, those are the pictures. Like 454 00:29:18,541 --> 00:29:22,200 people are in action. It's not the pose to like everybody look cute and 455 00:29:22,201 --> 00:29:24,500 pretty, you know, family photos. 456 00:29:24,660 --> 00:29:27,380 It's the ones where everybody's in the moment. 457 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,280 Yeah. Exactly. 458 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,820 Yeah. Yes. 459 00:29:33,821 --> 00:29:37,540 And you can get your part like ask your spouse or your partner, 460 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,460 get me at the picture today, even if I resist. 461 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,060 Yeah. Of course, we did do it. Take it without my permission. 462 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,980 Right. Look. 463 00:29:47,981 --> 00:29:51,420 pajamas, whatever it is. Just take the pictures. 464 00:29:53,460 --> 00:29:55,700 Turn the camera around. 465 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,640 Even you're doing cookie decorating, 466 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,820 you're doing tree trimming, you're out caroling, 467 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:05,040 you're in the car and you guys are going to go see the lights. 468 00:30:06,060 --> 00:30:09,520 If it has to be a selfie, get in the picture and capture those 469 00:30:09,521 --> 00:30:11,960 moments, capture little videos, 470 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:16,320 those are even more fun. It's all right there at our fingertips. 471 00:30:16,321 --> 00:30:21,260 tips. So use it because your future grandparent are your 472 00:30:21,261 --> 00:30:25,220 future grand kids because you are going to be a grandparent one day. 473 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,060 Hopefully they're not going to be like, oh, 474 00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:32,620 grandma had dark circles. You know, 475 00:30:32,621 --> 00:30:36,320 we all have them. 476 00:30:36,620 --> 00:30:39,380 They're there. But they're going to be like, 477 00:30:39,381 --> 00:30:41,540 oh wow, she was so fun. Look at these. 478 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,300 Yeah. Like, that's what they treasure. 479 00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:48,800 it really is. It really is. 480 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,100 Okay, I'm going to talk about pictures here too, 481 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:58,280 because one of the downsides of photos is 482 00:30:58,281 --> 00:31:02,360 that we start to compare like, 483 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,600 oh my gosh, look at their Christmas tree, 484 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,020 that is perfect. It looks like something out of a department store. 485 00:31:09,140 --> 00:31:11,380 Yeah, or like women. 486 00:31:11,900 --> 00:31:14,920 Sorry, go ahead. Yeah, well, I was going to say, the mom who's like 487 00:31:14,921 --> 00:31:19,460 baking the cookies, you know, you see the TikTok video of like the 488 00:31:19,461 --> 00:31:23,960 mom and her cute little apron baking the perfect cookies with that perfect royal 489 00:31:23,961 --> 00:31:27,120 icing and her sugar cookies look like a work of art. 490 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,360 You're like, well, yeah, 491 00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:35,020 yeah. I have recently started scrolling Facebook to find the 492 00:31:35,021 --> 00:31:38,960 baking that looks the most homemade. And that's who I'm purchasing it from. 493 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,320 Nice. I love it. I love it for me. 494 00:31:43,660 --> 00:31:48,200 I'm actually really excited to support local entrepreneurs and get my baking done 495 00:31:48,201 --> 00:31:50,520 in one fell swoop. It feels good. Yeah. 496 00:31:50,980 --> 00:31:53,300 I always liked doing the nailed it challenge. 497 00:31:53,860 --> 00:31:57,200 You know, you see like something and then you try to do it and 498 00:31:57,201 --> 00:32:00,540 it obviously is not gonna turn out the same way and I'm like nailed 499 00:32:00,541 --> 00:32:02,640 it. Here it is. 500 00:32:02,980 --> 00:32:07,580 This is the real life. That's like a Christmas tradition I could get behind 501 00:32:07,581 --> 00:32:10,580 with my kids. Mm-hmm. That would be fun. 502 00:32:10,900 --> 00:32:14,140 Try it. Yeah. But the reality check behind a lot of it is like 503 00:32:14,141 --> 00:32:16,560 as parents, we all know to get that perfect photo, 504 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:21,280 you have had at least one perfect meltdown minimum one. 505 00:32:21,900 --> 00:32:25,280 Oh, yeah. So I have amazing stories about meltdowns. 506 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:30,140 I clearly remember. And these are so great. 507 00:32:30,420 --> 00:32:32,460 So I remember when I was a kid, 508 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:36,200 we had to get dressed up for Christmas. 509 00:32:36,980 --> 00:32:39,600 And we were ready to go, 510 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,660 you know, I always loved dressing up dance dancer, 511 00:32:43,860 --> 00:32:48,520 you know, putting on a costume, anything with some rhinestones or like anything 512 00:32:48,521 --> 00:32:50,540 pretty and some high heels. And I was like, 513 00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:54,620 yes, but my sister was very much a tomboy. 514 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,880 She hated dresses, hated them. 515 00:32:58,500 --> 00:33:01,060 And I remember this one Christmas, 516 00:33:01,220 --> 00:33:03,500 like my mom had our matching outfits, 517 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,940 you know, you have the coordinated outfits for the kids. 518 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:09,860 She wanted that Christmas picture. As all moms do, 519 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,720 I mean, there wasn't anything out of the ordinary. I think she'd even let 520 00:33:13,721 --> 00:33:17,300 my sister pick out her dress because she knew she didn't like dresses. 521 00:33:17,820 --> 00:33:21,540 Well, my sister decided on Christmas Eve right before we're ready to go to 522 00:33:21,541 --> 00:33:23,900 church that she was not wearing a dress. 523 00:33:24,540 --> 00:33:29,360 It was like World War III in that house 524 00:33:29,361 --> 00:33:33,520 because she was not gonna wear a dress and like she dug her heels 525 00:33:33,521 --> 00:33:35,960 in, it was not happening, 526 00:33:36,380 --> 00:33:41,080 she would not put that dress on, and my mom had not quite at 527 00:33:41,081 --> 00:33:44,580 that point, got into the point of parenting where you learn like pick your 528 00:33:44,581 --> 00:33:47,280 battles. So she was, 529 00:33:47,500 --> 00:33:50,340 she dug her heels in and it was like stubborn, 530 00:33:50,580 --> 00:33:54,080 meet stubborn. And then there's my dad who's like laugh, 531 00:33:54,260 --> 00:33:58,280 well first he was upset with my sister and then he was laughing because 532 00:33:58,281 --> 00:34:00,320 it was like neither side was going to give. 533 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:05,880 She had to have been maybe maybe at most four years old. 534 00:34:06,540 --> 00:34:09,360 Yeah. Oh, but it was like battle royale. 535 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,620 Well fast forward about 30 years later. 536 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,100 And we're all getting ready for the big family picture. 537 00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:22,060 All four of us kids are there with all of our kids and everybody's 538 00:34:22,061 --> 00:34:25,340 getting dressed. And what does her daughter do? 539 00:34:26,060 --> 00:34:28,760 She's not going to wear that dress. 540 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:33,340 Like almost the exact same fit. 541 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:38,800 Oh, it took, we're all dying because my brother 542 00:34:38,801 --> 00:34:42,120 remembered it. I remembered it. My little brother didn't use baby, 543 00:34:42,260 --> 00:34:46,840 but my mom, my dad and we are just cackling because 544 00:34:46,841 --> 00:34:52,680 it's like you know that whole thing of like your mom wishes 545 00:34:52,681 --> 00:34:57,500 that you have a child just like you when you have those moments 546 00:34:57,501 --> 00:35:02,040 and she's like God's going to give you a child just like you and 547 00:35:02,041 --> 00:35:07,640 there it was on full display and oh my gosh it was it 548 00:35:07,641 --> 00:35:09,920 was great It was great. Oh my God. 549 00:35:09,921 --> 00:35:13,280 But it's great coming through to But like, 550 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,820 you know, I mean just to get in like you look at the pictures 551 00:35:15,821 --> 00:35:20,920 and it's fantastic But like the complete absolute meltdown 552 00:35:20,921 --> 00:35:23,060 that has to happen I mean, 553 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,440 we had one in Disney world as a whole family or first like big 554 00:35:26,441 --> 00:35:31,220 family trip And my niece did not want to wear her shirt Because of 555 00:35:31,221 --> 00:35:34,720 the tag and you're like where it Disney you don't have scissors I think 556 00:35:34,721 --> 00:35:37,500 we had to go and beg one of the cast members to find a 557 00:35:37,501 --> 00:35:42,020 scissors to cut the tag out because she could not having the tag in 558 00:35:42,021 --> 00:35:46,240 her shirt. It is like you look back at this picture and all we 559 00:35:46,241 --> 00:35:49,520 remember is the whole drama that went into it. 560 00:35:49,620 --> 00:35:51,880 I mean, it's a great memory, but yeah, 561 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:56,460 but that's the point. It's the memory and the being together and the getting 562 00:35:56,461 --> 00:35:59,840 through it, right? That's, that's the real point. 563 00:36:00,540 --> 00:36:05,400 families aren't made up of nothing but magic and excitement 564 00:36:05,401 --> 00:36:07,500 stories. It's it's all of it. 565 00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:09,800 It's the good, the bad, the ugly, and the fun, 566 00:36:09,900 --> 00:36:12,360 and the magical, and the beautiful. Right. 567 00:36:12,620 --> 00:36:15,980 And being able to find the humor in it all, because I mean, 568 00:36:16,060 --> 00:36:19,100 you've got to laugh at it. Like, when you have a two and three-year-old, 569 00:36:19,101 --> 00:36:22,020 he was like, this is the way it's going to be, 570 00:36:22,100 --> 00:36:24,160 and they have decided, I mean, what can you do? 571 00:36:24,580 --> 00:36:26,780 What can you do but laugh? And, you know, 572 00:36:26,900 --> 00:36:29,360 and then you do get old enough where you start to learn to pick 573 00:36:29,361 --> 00:36:32,760 your battles. Like there are some things that are worth fighting over and some 574 00:36:32,761 --> 00:36:37,360 things you're like, find whatever. Wear the green and the purple and 575 00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:40,060 the orange together. I don't care. Yeah, 576 00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,580 it's fine. It's a great memory. 577 00:36:42,820 --> 00:36:44,980 Look at you in your ridiculous outfit. 578 00:36:45,260 --> 00:36:47,360 I will put that in the senior year book one day. 579 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,500 Love it. Um, let's give our, 580 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,860 let's give our listeners some like practical things they could do. 581 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,060 Like a December meltdown safety kit. Oh yeah, 582 00:36:57,100 --> 00:36:59,780 build your safety to get like your emergency kit just in case. 583 00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:02,880 Yeah, like contents, emergency chocolate, 584 00:37:03,240 --> 00:37:05,680 must have. Must have, must have. 585 00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:08,520 One pre-written boundary script. 586 00:37:09,100 --> 00:37:13,340 So last week we talked about those boundary scripts to use with difficult family 587 00:37:13,341 --> 00:37:16,440 members. Just go ahead and write it down. Like put it in the notes 588 00:37:16,441 --> 00:37:19,440 on your phone, and then that way you have it. 589 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,680 So like you can look like you're scrolling through or checking your email, 590 00:37:22,681 --> 00:37:25,500 but when it gets to that point, you're like, oh, boundary script, 591 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,480 let me have it. Yeah, you should also have one. 592 00:37:29,860 --> 00:37:32,320 It's not that deep mantra. 593 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,820 Yes. It's not that deep. No, 594 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:39,460 it's not that deep. Nobody's gonna care. 595 00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,100 No, exactly. I always do that. 596 00:37:42,340 --> 00:37:46,860 Is this gonna matter in five years? Is this gonna matter in 10 597 00:37:46,861 --> 00:37:49,120 years? And if the answer's no, 598 00:37:49,340 --> 00:37:53,680 then it's not a battle worth fighting. My version of that is, 599 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,300 is this the sort I want to die on today? Right. 600 00:37:56,540 --> 00:38:01,160 Yeah, but there's always great and like I learned that from my 601 00:38:01,161 --> 00:38:05,720 mom who gave me that wonderful advice when I was raising kids 602 00:38:05,721 --> 00:38:08,520 because she had to learn it as well. And it's true, 603 00:38:08,740 --> 00:38:12,200 like it's it's just not going to matter if they want to shave their 604 00:38:12,201 --> 00:38:15,700 head before Christmas. Okay, 605 00:38:15,701 --> 00:38:20,220 if we're going with blue hair today, really not the sword you want to 606 00:38:20,221 --> 00:38:22,960 die on. And if they fall, 607 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:27,400 and oh, I remember one Christmas, my sister looked like Rudolph because we took 608 00:38:27,401 --> 00:38:30,480 my poor sister, 609 00:38:30,580 --> 00:38:34,700 she's coming up a lot in this one, but there's this big hill, 610 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,240 this driveway hill by my parents' house, 611 00:38:37,860 --> 00:38:41,100 and we lived on a cul-de-sac. And so this hill was super fun for 612 00:38:41,101 --> 00:38:44,720 sledding, but it was also super fun when you were on a big wheel. 613 00:38:45,260 --> 00:38:48,520 Do you remember the big wheels, with the big wheel and the fright and 614 00:38:48,521 --> 00:38:51,460 the two little, It was like a tricycle, but it had the giant big 615 00:38:51,461 --> 00:38:55,060 wheel on the front and it kind of sat down. And so we sent 616 00:38:55,061 --> 00:39:00,100 my little sister down the big hill on the big wheel and 617 00:39:00,101 --> 00:39:04,200 where the asphalt is compared to the driveway was like just enough of a 618 00:39:04,201 --> 00:39:07,980 lip. She went like a hit the lip. 619 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:13,360 She went flying over the handrails on the big wheel and 620 00:39:13,361 --> 00:39:17,360 scraped up her whole face on the asphalt. 621 00:39:18,140 --> 00:39:22,860 And this was like right at Christmas and so we had like a scraped 622 00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:26,160 up nose. Oh my mom was so mad at us I mean because we 623 00:39:26,161 --> 00:39:30,720 shouldn't have sent my little sister down You know, 624 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,920 it was like you can do it Um, 625 00:39:33,921 --> 00:39:38,600 and yes, so how we learn it's also how he learned his 626 00:39:38,601 --> 00:39:43,540 kids, right? Yeah, I mean not not the smartest moment 627 00:39:43,541 --> 00:39:47,000 in our lives, but Yeah, 628 00:39:47,740 --> 00:39:50,340 so back to our meltdown safety kit, 629 00:39:50,341 --> 00:39:53,020 though. Sorry, we got on a little squirrel moment there. 630 00:39:54,140 --> 00:39:57,200 A screenshot of your done is better than perfect, 631 00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:02,060 quote. Just make that your wallpaper done is better than 632 00:40:02,061 --> 00:40:06,640 perfect. Or you could like just if it wasn't done the way you wanted, 633 00:40:06,660 --> 00:40:10,240 like say it was your baking, you could just file this under nailed it. 634 00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:14,980 right post that sucker on Facebook or 635 00:40:14,981 --> 00:40:18,060 Instagram. Let's start that back up. 636 00:40:18,140 --> 00:40:20,600 I loved that trend. That trend was great. 637 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:25,280 Yeah. We have a lemur text. So I think you need to have a 638 00:40:25,281 --> 00:40:27,700 friend that you could text. Tell me to calm down. 639 00:40:28,180 --> 00:40:30,260 Yeah. We have a lemur. 640 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:40,220 I was pulling it up here. I don't 641 00:40:40,221 --> 00:40:43,920 know knowing, it's perfect for Canadians. But we send it to each other when 642 00:40:43,921 --> 00:40:48,600 it's like, you'll get the lemur text with the like just 643 00:40:48,601 --> 00:40:51,500 calm down. Just calm down. 644 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,140 Yeah. Yeah. Or you know, 645 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,740 have the friends like I have with Patty who is like Megan, 646 00:40:59,300 --> 00:41:03,140 you don't look good in orange and you're far too pretty for Jim. 647 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:06,900 Way too pretty for prison. I think I've been sent you the song what 648 00:41:06,901 --> 00:41:10,100 they to listen to. You did. You did. 649 00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:13,100 That's a good one. That's a good like if I need a laugh song. 650 00:41:13,300 --> 00:41:15,440 I can pull that one up and I'm like, all right. Okay. 651 00:41:16,060 --> 00:41:18,740 All right. Taking myself way too seriously right now. 652 00:41:19,140 --> 00:41:22,220 And it's going to be all right. But you know, 653 00:41:22,300 --> 00:41:25,960 and then here's your permission slip from Patty and Megan to you. 654 00:41:26,620 --> 00:41:30,300 It's okay to be human today and every day. 655 00:41:30,660 --> 00:41:34,260 It's okay. It's okay. 656 00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:39,800 Sorry, I just was thinking about songs again. Another really good one. 657 00:41:39,940 --> 00:41:44,720 Like, if you have tea to spill to your friends, you should Spotify brand 658 00:41:44,721 --> 00:41:49,200 to put your bra on. That almost became our theme song friends. 659 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,460 If we could figure out how to do that, but Patty and I don't 660 00:41:52,461 --> 00:41:55,000 know enough about all of that, but like that was our, 661 00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:57,680 that was a good one. red to put your broad. 662 00:41:58,060 --> 00:42:02,600 Oh my gosh. Yeah. It's so red back. 663 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:07,640 Oh yeah. And nobody got time for this. 664 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,560 Remember that one from like your way back when? 665 00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:13,720 Yeah. I like that. Nobody got time for this. 666 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,980 Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. 667 00:42:17,180 --> 00:42:20,300 Oh good times. Very friends. 668 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:24,080 Well we're keeping this one a lot shorter because we know it's December and 669 00:42:24,081 --> 00:42:27,480 you don't have a lot of time on your hands and you were just 670 00:42:27,481 --> 00:42:32,260 trying to make it through. So hopefully this gave you a few great tips, 671 00:42:33,240 --> 00:42:37,920 but here's the truth. A calmer mom creates a calmer season. 672 00:42:39,260 --> 00:42:42,200 Rest is an indulgent, it's leadership. 673 00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:46,140 And giving yourself permission to breathe isn't an act of rebellion. 674 00:42:46,740 --> 00:42:50,520 It's how you keep the magic alive without losing yourself in the process. 675 00:42:50,521 --> 00:42:53,600 So, simplify, soften, 676 00:42:54,240 --> 00:42:59,160 breathe, and let things be enough because you 677 00:42:59,161 --> 00:43:02,680 are enough, even in December. 678 00:43:04,660 --> 00:43:07,080 Well, heart felt right there. 679 00:43:07,820 --> 00:43:10,860 I feel like I should say it again because you are enough. 680 00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:15,460 And how many of us need to hear that often? 681 00:43:16,020 --> 00:43:18,340 Truly though. Truly though. 682 00:43:19,900 --> 00:43:22,180 Yeah. All right. Well, 683 00:43:22,181 --> 00:43:26,420 we hope you're surviving. We hope you're going to make it to January. 684 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:30,980 We know you will grab that extra bottle of wine while you're at the 685 00:43:30,981 --> 00:43:33,100 store or better yet, 686 00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,260 order it when you do your online grocery order. 687 00:43:36,261 --> 00:43:40,860 Yeah. Give yourself a little treat and know that it's 688 00:43:40,861 --> 00:43:45,420 going to be okay. And you are making magical memories no matter what is 689 00:43:45,421 --> 00:43:48,260 happening. Yeah. That's truly it. 690 00:43:48,460 --> 00:43:51,300 No matter what happens, it's a memory. Yep. 691 00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:55,380 So make the most of it. All right, 692 00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:59,300 friends, well, we will see you next time, a no-braz required. 693 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:06,640 Have a have a have a lovely December season. 694 00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,540 Yes, that's the goal. 695 00:44:10,020 --> 00:44:13,140 Enjoy it. Take the time to actually be present and enjoy. 696 00:44:13,980 --> 00:44:15,340 And we'll see you next time.