1 00:00:22,728 --> 00:00:24,870 Marian Edelman Wright once said, 2 00:00:25,469 --> 00:00:28,632 you can't be what you can't see. 3 00:00:30,153 --> 00:00:31,574 Think about that just for a 4 00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:33,295 moment and think about all 5 00:00:33,356 --> 00:00:34,878 of those big goals and 6 00:00:34,917 --> 00:00:36,779 dreams and aspirations that 7 00:00:36,798 --> 00:00:40,402 you have and imagine them 8 00:00:40,442 --> 00:00:42,243 with purpose and clarity. 9 00:00:42,664 --> 00:00:44,204 And if you imagine them with 10 00:00:44,265 --> 00:00:45,305 purpose and clarity, 11 00:00:45,786 --> 00:00:47,628 how much easier it is to 12 00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:49,149 actually achieve. 13 00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:53,237 So today I have the absolute 14 00:00:53,298 --> 00:00:55,820 pleasure of interviewing my friend, 15 00:00:56,039 --> 00:00:56,899 Steve Gamlin. 16 00:00:57,439 --> 00:00:57,740 Now, 17 00:00:57,881 --> 00:00:59,962 Steve is known as the motivational 18 00:00:59,981 --> 00:01:02,283 firewood guy and the vision board guy. 19 00:01:02,703 --> 00:01:05,563 He helps people understand 20 00:01:05,584 --> 00:01:07,325 their vision with that 21 00:01:07,405 --> 00:01:08,786 purpose and clarity that 22 00:01:08,805 --> 00:01:10,646 I'm talking about so that 23 00:01:10,665 --> 00:01:12,706 you can gain confidence and 24 00:01:12,826 --> 00:01:14,468 impact that you are looking 25 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:16,349 for this year and beyond. 26 00:01:16,588 --> 00:01:18,310 Steve, welcome to the show, my friend. 27 00:01:18,772 --> 00:01:19,852 Thank you very much, Tara. 28 00:01:19,893 --> 00:01:20,912 Happy to be here and looking 29 00:01:20,933 --> 00:01:22,153 forward to our conversation. 30 00:01:23,114 --> 00:01:26,575 So vision, it's so important. 31 00:01:26,855 --> 00:01:27,757 You know, 32 00:01:27,876 --> 00:01:29,817 I'm just looking back at my own journey, 33 00:01:29,837 --> 00:01:30,278 Steve, 34 00:01:31,019 --> 00:01:33,560 and the first vision board I ever 35 00:01:33,599 --> 00:01:37,341 created was only just three years ago. 36 00:01:38,183 --> 00:01:41,103 It was January of, uh, gosh, 37 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:42,405 what year was that? 38 00:01:42,605 --> 00:01:48,188 So, yeah, and you you'll laugh. 39 00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:50,460 I actually had to Google how 40 00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:51,542 to do a vision board. 41 00:01:51,561 --> 00:01:54,242 I didn't know. 42 00:01:54,262 --> 00:01:54,623 Right. 43 00:01:54,822 --> 00:01:56,962 But I heard the term before 44 00:01:57,643 --> 00:01:58,524 and there were no, 45 00:01:58,563 --> 00:01:59,343 it's not like there was 46 00:01:59,403 --> 00:02:01,024 instructions readily available. 47 00:02:01,043 --> 00:02:02,644 I couldn't like figure it out. 48 00:02:02,704 --> 00:02:04,405 I wasn't quite sure what to do. 49 00:02:04,944 --> 00:02:06,085 Do you run into that a lot? 50 00:02:07,206 --> 00:02:07,465 Yeah. 51 00:02:07,646 --> 00:02:07,846 See, 52 00:02:07,965 --> 00:02:09,686 a lot of people will reach out to me 53 00:02:09,705 --> 00:02:10,306 because I've been doing 54 00:02:10,326 --> 00:02:11,667 this for twenty years now. 55 00:02:12,127 --> 00:02:12,766 And they'll say, Steve, 56 00:02:12,787 --> 00:02:13,567 I made a vision board. 57 00:02:13,646 --> 00:02:14,108 So great. 58 00:02:14,147 --> 00:02:14,867 Send me a picture. 59 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:15,587 And I get it. 60 00:02:16,408 --> 00:02:18,569 and they did exactly what 61 00:02:18,810 --> 00:02:20,711 most people do because if 62 00:02:20,730 --> 00:02:21,831 you ever saw the secret or 63 00:02:21,852 --> 00:02:22,491 you see any of these 64 00:02:22,551 --> 00:02:23,692 motivational gurus out 65 00:02:23,731 --> 00:02:25,073 there all of a sudden you 66 00:02:25,092 --> 00:02:27,014 get in my inbox a picture 67 00:02:27,054 --> 00:02:29,955 of a board with photos of a 68 00:02:29,995 --> 00:02:31,656 lamborghini a yacht a 69 00:02:31,675 --> 00:02:33,437 private jet a mansion a big 70 00:02:33,477 --> 00:02:34,556 honking gold watch and a 71 00:02:34,576 --> 00:02:35,358 bank vault full of gold 72 00:02:35,377 --> 00:02:37,038 bars and piles of cash it's 73 00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:37,658 what I call the vision 74 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,579 board starter kit and so 75 00:02:39,598 --> 00:02:40,520 many people think it's all 76 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,700 about the material things 77 00:02:43,673 --> 00:02:44,832 And that's part of life. 78 00:02:44,853 --> 00:02:45,574 There's nothing wrong with 79 00:02:45,614 --> 00:02:46,753 any of those pictures, by the way. 80 00:02:47,454 --> 00:02:48,574 But here's my biggest thing 81 00:02:48,593 --> 00:02:49,594 when it comes to vision boards. 82 00:02:50,175 --> 00:02:51,215 It's not just what you get, 83 00:02:51,275 --> 00:02:52,254 it's who you want to become. 84 00:02:53,055 --> 00:02:55,156 And it takes on such a heavier, 85 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,917 more in-depth journey than 86 00:02:57,956 --> 00:02:58,817 just saying you want a 87 00:02:58,836 --> 00:02:59,937 bunch of stuff because 88 00:03:01,318 --> 00:03:02,277 you're not necessarily 89 00:03:02,318 --> 00:03:03,298 going to be acclimated to 90 00:03:03,318 --> 00:03:04,478 believe you actually deserve it. 91 00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:06,299 And in the event that you do, 92 00:03:06,959 --> 00:03:07,878 and you don't feel you deserve it, 93 00:03:07,899 --> 00:03:08,759 and you haven't built up 94 00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:10,280 the best version of you along the way, 95 00:03:11,161 --> 00:03:11,781 You're probably going to 96 00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:15,862 sabotage it and lose it in some way. 97 00:03:16,104 --> 00:03:18,884 It's all about aligning with your values, 98 00:03:18,944 --> 00:03:21,026 what your version of success is. 99 00:03:21,205 --> 00:03:22,627 I completely agree. 100 00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:23,806 We don't talk about that 101 00:03:23,847 --> 00:03:25,328 enough when we go on 102 00:03:25,388 --> 00:03:27,068 Instagram or YouTube or any 103 00:03:27,088 --> 00:03:28,270 of these places or LinkedIn, 104 00:03:28,289 --> 00:03:28,909 for that matter. 105 00:03:29,689 --> 00:03:32,132 We see a version of success that, you know, 106 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:32,991 society doesn't. 107 00:03:33,263 --> 00:03:34,242 Maybe our parents, 108 00:03:34,323 --> 00:03:35,163 maybe it was the way we 109 00:03:35,183 --> 00:03:37,664 were brought up tells us that, you know, 110 00:03:37,705 --> 00:03:39,645 that's everybody's goal, right? 111 00:03:39,725 --> 00:03:41,425 It's called the American dream. 112 00:03:41,966 --> 00:03:43,347 So if you know, that's, 113 00:03:43,447 --> 00:03:45,228 we're just in the United States. 114 00:03:45,247 --> 00:03:46,427 So I'm mentioning that, you know, 115 00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:48,329 it's pretty common that we 116 00:03:48,408 --> 00:03:49,429 all seem to have the same 117 00:03:49,468 --> 00:03:50,469 version of success. 118 00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:50,650 Oh, 119 00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:53,431 you have to have this super lucrative 120 00:03:53,531 --> 00:03:54,191 corporate job. 121 00:03:54,230 --> 00:03:55,651 You need to be a doctor or a lawyer. 122 00:03:55,692 --> 00:03:57,092 You need to have a Lamborghini, 123 00:03:57,211 --> 00:03:58,812 a big house or whatever it is. 124 00:03:59,427 --> 00:04:01,128 But nobody stops to think 125 00:04:01,149 --> 00:04:03,229 what they actually want. 126 00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:04,689 And that's part of the 127 00:04:04,729 --> 00:04:07,151 problem of why we're having 128 00:04:07,491 --> 00:04:10,013 this lack of fulfillment, I feel like, 129 00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:11,432 on a big level, 130 00:04:11,473 --> 00:04:12,614 like on a collective scale, 131 00:04:12,633 --> 00:04:13,973 don't you think? 132 00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:14,555 Yeah. 133 00:04:14,615 --> 00:04:15,335 And a lot of people, 134 00:04:15,514 --> 00:04:16,735 they get to that thing and 135 00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:17,935 they drive and they grind. 136 00:04:17,975 --> 00:04:18,735 And that's why I say the 137 00:04:18,755 --> 00:04:19,896 hustle and grind mindset is 138 00:04:19,976 --> 00:04:21,377 actually causing a lot of damage. 139 00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:22,918 There's nothing wrong with working hard. 140 00:04:23,317 --> 00:04:24,579 There's nothing wrong with hustling. 141 00:04:24,978 --> 00:04:26,779 But you've got to know why you want it. 142 00:04:27,485 --> 00:04:28,386 And who you're going to be 143 00:04:28,406 --> 00:04:29,346 when you get to the end of it. 144 00:04:29,466 --> 00:04:30,846 And I've had people in their twenties say, 145 00:04:30,867 --> 00:04:31,148 Steve, 146 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,327 I'm going to make a million dollars 147 00:04:32,348 --> 00:04:32,627 this year. 148 00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:33,509 I'm going to work like eighty, 149 00:04:33,548 --> 00:04:35,028 a hundred hours a week and 150 00:04:35,088 --> 00:04:35,629 I'm going to get it. 151 00:04:35,649 --> 00:04:36,769 I'm going to grind and grind and grind. 152 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:37,529 And I say, you married? 153 00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:37,949 They go, yeah. 154 00:04:38,009 --> 00:04:43,132 I go, you won't be by the end of the year. 155 00:04:43,151 --> 00:04:43,492 That's right. 156 00:04:43,512 --> 00:04:44,252 And I know because I did 157 00:04:44,293 --> 00:04:45,333 that to my first marriage. 158 00:04:46,694 --> 00:04:47,293 Workaholic. 159 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:47,894 I worked fifty, 160 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:48,894 sixty hours a week at a 161 00:04:48,915 --> 00:04:49,975 radio station and DJed 162 00:04:49,995 --> 00:04:51,016 weddings pretty much every 163 00:04:51,036 --> 00:04:51,935 weekend year round. 164 00:04:53,057 --> 00:04:55,458 And destroyed my myself, my health, 165 00:04:55,658 --> 00:04:56,437 my relationship. 166 00:04:57,461 --> 00:04:58,322 And, you know, 167 00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,041 for my share of the issues that caused it, 168 00:05:00,682 --> 00:05:01,502 it led to a divorce. 169 00:05:02,863 --> 00:05:03,903 So it's really important. 170 00:05:03,923 --> 00:05:04,244 You know, 171 00:05:04,283 --> 00:05:05,824 working hard is great and I love it. 172 00:05:06,404 --> 00:05:09,127 But you've got to know who you want to be. 173 00:05:09,406 --> 00:05:10,846 And you also mentioned core 174 00:05:10,867 --> 00:05:11,848 values in there, too. 175 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:13,769 And the way that I teach vision boards, 176 00:05:13,788 --> 00:05:14,668 this is the program I 177 00:05:14,709 --> 00:05:15,449 created and the way I do it 178 00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:16,629 at live events with all my 179 00:05:17,029 --> 00:05:18,011 corporate clients as well. 180 00:05:18,930 --> 00:05:19,771 You got to think in eight 181 00:05:19,932 --> 00:05:20,771 major categories. 182 00:05:20,831 --> 00:05:21,973 And it's a pretty standard 183 00:05:22,512 --> 00:05:24,494 personal development tool. 184 00:05:24,514 --> 00:05:25,593 You've probably seen it out there. 185 00:05:25,613 --> 00:05:26,595 They're all a little bit different. 186 00:05:27,415 --> 00:05:28,435 I've kind of tweaked mine. 187 00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:30,197 And if you're going to have a vision, 188 00:05:30,216 --> 00:05:31,619 you need to think of these eight areas. 189 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:32,718 Your physical health, 190 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,380 your emotional well-being. 191 00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:34,920 Imagine that. 192 00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:35,802 What emotions do you want to 193 00:05:35,822 --> 00:05:37,562 feel while you're achieving your goals? 194 00:05:38,403 --> 00:05:39,884 Your closest relationships, 195 00:05:40,045 --> 00:05:41,125 your core values and ethics 196 00:05:41,146 --> 00:05:43,048 that guide every thought, word, 197 00:05:43,148 --> 00:05:44,709 and action that you commit. 198 00:05:45,610 --> 00:05:47,031 Your faith and spirituality, 199 00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:48,211 if that's an important part of your life. 200 00:05:48,492 --> 00:05:50,194 Your connection to the world in real ways, 201 00:05:50,233 --> 00:05:51,754 which took a beating during 202 00:05:51,795 --> 00:05:52,636 the pandemic years. 203 00:05:53,235 --> 00:05:56,399 And then your career and your money. 204 00:05:57,088 --> 00:05:57,187 Now, 205 00:05:57,208 --> 00:05:59,209 it may seem overwhelming to a lot of 206 00:05:59,250 --> 00:05:59,470 people. 207 00:05:59,509 --> 00:05:59,790 They say, 208 00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:00,870 should I make a separate vision 209 00:06:00,891 --> 00:06:01,430 board for each? 210 00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:04,052 No, you're one person, make one board. 211 00:06:04,192 --> 00:06:05,473 All eight of these things are happening. 212 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:07,355 Whether or not you're paying attention. 213 00:06:07,375 --> 00:06:08,156 So wouldn't it be a good 214 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,377 idea to set goals in 215 00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:12,038 alignment with exactly who 216 00:06:12,057 --> 00:06:13,860 you are and who you want to become? 217 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:18,483 Keeping all eight of those in mind. 218 00:06:18,762 --> 00:06:18,862 Wow. 219 00:06:19,303 --> 00:06:21,845 I wish I would have 220 00:06:21,865 --> 00:06:22,485 mentioned a couple of years ago. 221 00:06:22,505 --> 00:06:22,906 We're here now. 222 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:25,708 We're three years too late. 223 00:06:26,339 --> 00:06:28,461 Um, so it's interesting. 224 00:06:28,781 --> 00:06:29,901 So, you know, 225 00:06:30,081 --> 00:06:32,002 when I first made this vision board again, 226 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:33,523 I had to literally Google it. 227 00:06:33,543 --> 00:06:34,863 That's not an exaggeration. 228 00:06:36,425 --> 00:06:37,865 I went to Walmart, 229 00:06:37,904 --> 00:06:40,086 I got my supplies and it 230 00:06:40,105 --> 00:06:40,927 was a poster board. 231 00:06:40,947 --> 00:06:41,887 Like you would have when 232 00:06:41,927 --> 00:06:42,747 you're in the eighth grade. 233 00:06:42,887 --> 00:06:43,088 Right. 234 00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:48,069 And I put it down and I started thinking, 235 00:06:48,129 --> 00:06:49,271 you know, what do I want? 236 00:06:49,331 --> 00:06:52,031 Who do I want to become? 237 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,072 Very interesting. 238 00:06:54,052 --> 00:06:54,312 And. 239 00:06:56,057 --> 00:06:56,598 At the time, 240 00:06:56,678 --> 00:06:59,620 I was really struggling with depression, 241 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,822 anxiety, and lack of confidence. 242 00:07:02,983 --> 00:07:05,545 And I just wanted out. 243 00:07:05,745 --> 00:07:08,187 Whatever change had to be, 244 00:07:08,348 --> 00:07:10,470 I wanted like the complete opposite. 245 00:07:11,911 --> 00:07:14,673 And I said, okay, what's my biggest fear? 246 00:07:14,754 --> 00:07:18,137 I said, okay, it's public speaking. 247 00:07:18,156 --> 00:07:19,017 I hated it. 248 00:07:19,317 --> 00:07:19,598 Right? 249 00:07:19,637 --> 00:07:20,358 So ironic. 250 00:07:22,261 --> 00:07:22,781 I hated it. 251 00:07:23,345 --> 00:07:24,386 I said you know what there's 252 00:07:24,466 --> 00:07:25,966 something like compelling 253 00:07:26,007 --> 00:07:28,569 towards us and I knew it 254 00:07:28,608 --> 00:07:30,091 was an area of growth and 255 00:07:30,211 --> 00:07:32,271 something like I was like I 256 00:07:32,291 --> 00:07:35,814 just want to try it and I I 257 00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:37,255 found the lady and she was 258 00:07:37,336 --> 00:07:39,497 in you know on stage and 259 00:07:40,079 --> 00:07:42,641 big audience and I thought 260 00:07:42,860 --> 00:07:44,081 I just want to teach to 261 00:07:44,161 --> 00:07:45,884 people and like really 262 00:07:45,944 --> 00:07:48,004 really help them but I 263 00:07:48,045 --> 00:07:49,005 didn't know how I didn't 264 00:07:49,026 --> 00:07:50,867 know what I was doing so 265 00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:52,805 I clicked out this picture 266 00:07:52,824 --> 00:07:56,187 and that became the center. 267 00:07:56,228 --> 00:08:00,411 Steve, can I tell you six months later, 268 00:08:01,492 --> 00:08:03,492 I met my first speaking 269 00:08:03,533 --> 00:08:07,495 mentor and he helped me, you know, 270 00:08:07,516 --> 00:08:08,456 through this process, 271 00:08:08,497 --> 00:08:09,877 navigate the industry and such. 272 00:08:11,019 --> 00:08:13,060 And then it was only a few 273 00:08:13,221 --> 00:08:14,942 weeks or so after that I 274 00:08:14,982 --> 00:08:17,163 got my first speaking opportunity. 275 00:08:19,641 --> 00:08:20,581 It went from vision to 276 00:08:20,721 --> 00:08:22,302 reality in less than eight months, 277 00:08:22,322 --> 00:08:22,482 I think. 278 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:22,781 It was crazy. 279 00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:26,262 Have you ever experienced that? 280 00:08:26,362 --> 00:08:27,184 Oh, many times. 281 00:08:27,944 --> 00:08:28,384 Many times. 282 00:08:28,564 --> 00:08:29,624 And here's the thing about it. 283 00:08:29,663 --> 00:08:30,824 So many people think, oh, 284 00:08:30,845 --> 00:08:32,845 that's lucky you manifested it. 285 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:33,325 Meaning, 286 00:08:33,784 --> 00:08:35,346 and what they mean by manifest is 287 00:08:35,546 --> 00:08:36,846 you wished for it and it happened. 288 00:08:38,106 --> 00:08:40,287 And I blame the DVD version 289 00:08:40,307 --> 00:08:41,248 of The Secret for this. 290 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,148 Now, I love The Secret. 291 00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,807 And it did a great broad 292 00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:44,589 brush of the law of 293 00:08:44,609 --> 00:08:46,089 attraction and manifesting and all that. 294 00:08:47,037 --> 00:08:48,136 but they included I'm not 295 00:08:48,157 --> 00:08:48,738 sure if you've seen the 296 00:08:48,758 --> 00:08:49,717 video version of it they 297 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:50,618 included the genie in a 298 00:08:50,658 --> 00:08:52,019 magic lamp and his only 299 00:08:52,058 --> 00:08:53,278 line throughout the whole 300 00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:55,980 movie was your wish is my 301 00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:58,601 command and it gave people 302 00:08:58,621 --> 00:08:59,601 the illusion and some 303 00:08:59,621 --> 00:09:00,381 people may look at your 304 00:09:00,422 --> 00:09:02,942 success now and say oh Tara 305 00:09:02,982 --> 00:09:03,984 you wished for that and it 306 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,345 happened no you envisioned 307 00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:07,924 it and you declared that's 308 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,225 what you wanted then all of 309 00:09:09,265 --> 00:09:10,586 a sudden your senses became 310 00:09:10,625 --> 00:09:12,626 available of opportunities 311 00:09:13,317 --> 00:09:14,356 to meet that person or at 312 00:09:14,376 --> 00:09:15,097 least connect with that 313 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,118 person it's almost like 314 00:09:16,498 --> 00:09:17,318 instead of staring at your 315 00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:18,458 shoes or your phone wishing 316 00:09:18,499 --> 00:09:19,639 for stuff you know texting 317 00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:20,799 the universe I want this 318 00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:22,280 you actually had your head 319 00:09:22,321 --> 00:09:24,000 on a swivel in your eyes 320 00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:26,121 and your ears and your mind 321 00:09:26,201 --> 00:09:27,903 didn't doubt you because 322 00:09:28,322 --> 00:09:29,183 even when you first set the 323 00:09:29,224 --> 00:09:30,583 vision your confidence 324 00:09:30,624 --> 00:09:32,445 level is already at work 325 00:09:32,745 --> 00:09:33,544 it's already climbing the 326 00:09:33,585 --> 00:09:34,785 mountain without you know 327 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:35,426 even if you think it's 328 00:09:35,466 --> 00:09:37,106 without you that when you 329 00:09:37,126 --> 00:09:38,106 had the opportunity to meet 330 00:09:38,147 --> 00:09:39,048 that person you were at 331 00:09:39,087 --> 00:09:40,207 least barely confident 332 00:09:40,227 --> 00:09:42,208 enough to reach out and make a connection 333 00:09:42,865 --> 00:09:43,585 With that person. 334 00:09:43,985 --> 00:09:44,785 And then they saw an 335 00:09:44,826 --> 00:09:45,785 opportunity to help you. 336 00:09:45,826 --> 00:09:45,966 Now, 337 00:09:46,446 --> 00:09:49,268 that person is being a teacher as well. 338 00:09:49,288 --> 00:09:50,807 Teaching you to be able to 339 00:09:50,827 --> 00:09:51,687 get to a place where you 340 00:09:51,707 --> 00:09:52,808 can turn around and teach others. 341 00:09:52,869 --> 00:09:53,969 It's like climbing a mountain. 342 00:09:54,389 --> 00:09:55,129 And you found this guy 343 00:09:55,149 --> 00:09:56,009 sitting on a rock in the 344 00:09:56,049 --> 00:09:56,909 sun eating a sandwich. 345 00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:58,191 And you said, hey, I want to do this. 346 00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:00,731 And he said, well, come climb with me. 347 00:10:00,792 --> 00:10:01,731 We're heading on up together. 348 00:10:02,172 --> 00:10:03,432 That's how this works. 349 00:10:03,513 --> 00:10:04,894 And people say it sounds all 350 00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:05,894 mystical and all that. 351 00:10:07,634 --> 00:10:08,554 And it's all woo-woo. 352 00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,475 And one of my taglines is, dude, 353 00:10:11,615 --> 00:10:12,796 I'm blue collar woo. 354 00:10:13,856 --> 00:10:16,418 I come from carpenters and building stuff. 355 00:10:16,477 --> 00:10:19,519 And instead of just spouting woo woo stuff, 356 00:10:19,979 --> 00:10:21,220 I sit here and I roll up my 357 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,980 sleeves next to you and I 358 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,081 hand you the tools and show 359 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,000 you how to use them. 360 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,042 And that's how this works. 361 00:10:27,081 --> 00:10:28,162 It's very scientific. 362 00:10:28,302 --> 00:10:29,182 I just don't explain it in a 363 00:10:29,202 --> 00:10:29,863 scientific way. 364 00:10:29,883 --> 00:10:32,283 I just trust that it works. 365 00:10:32,364 --> 00:10:33,083 It does. 366 00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:34,745 And it's repeatable. 367 00:10:35,004 --> 00:10:37,785 So this same exact, you know, 368 00:10:38,461 --> 00:10:40,102 scenario I was just talking about there, 369 00:10:40,163 --> 00:10:42,904 there, you know, I went from, okay, 370 00:10:42,965 --> 00:10:44,186 public speaking, right? 371 00:10:44,326 --> 00:10:45,687 Let's, let's conquer that goal. 372 00:10:45,726 --> 00:10:47,307 So that was the vision board 373 00:10:47,327 --> 00:10:48,609 of that year was primarily 374 00:10:48,629 --> 00:10:51,551 that the next year it was 375 00:10:51,571 --> 00:10:53,052 about authorship. 376 00:10:53,432 --> 00:10:54,692 And I kept talking about 377 00:10:54,812 --> 00:10:55,953 authorship and I kept 378 00:10:56,214 --> 00:10:58,035 thinking of myself as an author. 379 00:10:58,615 --> 00:10:59,797 Then once I started, 380 00:11:00,216 --> 00:11:01,638 so it started with a vision 381 00:11:01,798 --> 00:11:02,999 on my vision board, 382 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,640 then it began me talking 383 00:11:05,681 --> 00:11:07,042 about myself as such. 384 00:11:07,491 --> 00:11:08,972 and then connecting with authors. 385 00:11:09,013 --> 00:11:10,273 So I started connecting with 386 00:11:10,812 --> 00:11:11,833 New York Times bestselling 387 00:11:11,894 --> 00:11:12,833 authors on LinkedIn. 388 00:11:13,094 --> 00:11:13,414 And again, 389 00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,034 this wasn't that far removed 390 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,615 from that first vision board. 391 00:11:17,495 --> 00:11:18,476 Less than a year. 392 00:11:20,177 --> 00:11:22,778 It was literally after that, 393 00:11:22,979 --> 00:11:24,359 I got an opportunity to 394 00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:25,740 speak with NASDAQ again, 395 00:11:25,759 --> 00:11:27,279 in twenty twenty two. 396 00:11:28,260 --> 00:11:28,921 I had only been an 397 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,282 entrepreneur for six months. 398 00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:31,942 Then after that, 399 00:11:31,961 --> 00:11:32,863 so that combines the 400 00:11:32,883 --> 00:11:34,383 speaking and the other things. 401 00:11:34,864 --> 00:11:35,823 And then after that, 402 00:11:36,368 --> 00:11:37,769 It was, you know what? 403 00:11:38,549 --> 00:11:39,250 I think I can write, 404 00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:40,471 I'm just going to go ahead 405 00:11:40,510 --> 00:11:42,172 and try to write a book. 406 00:11:43,173 --> 00:11:43,572 Boom. 407 00:11:44,332 --> 00:11:45,573 You just have to, 408 00:11:45,653 --> 00:11:47,054 it starts with that clarity 409 00:11:47,075 --> 00:11:48,556 of that vision though, Steve, 410 00:11:48,615 --> 00:11:50,418 and not enough people 411 00:11:50,498 --> 00:11:51,899 really talk about this. 412 00:11:52,558 --> 00:11:53,980 They talk about clarity, 413 00:11:54,159 --> 00:11:56,741 but they don't talk to you 414 00:11:56,822 --> 00:11:58,863 about how to gain that clarity. 415 00:11:59,364 --> 00:12:00,465 And that's a big pet peeve 416 00:12:00,504 --> 00:12:01,705 of mine because you're 417 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,046 actually talking about how 418 00:12:03,066 --> 00:12:04,006 to gain the clarity. 419 00:12:04,573 --> 00:12:05,614 And it's something very 420 00:12:05,673 --> 00:12:07,674 tangible that anybody can do, 421 00:12:07,695 --> 00:12:10,436 which is why I love what you do. 422 00:12:10,515 --> 00:12:12,017 So, you know, 423 00:12:12,037 --> 00:12:14,158 you talked about this vision starter kit, 424 00:12:14,177 --> 00:12:17,558 which is really funny, right? 425 00:12:17,599 --> 00:12:19,220 Because I think you're right. 426 00:12:19,399 --> 00:12:20,740 I think a lot of people have 427 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,600 that same vision starter kit, right? 428 00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:24,322 It's like a Lamborghini and 429 00:12:24,361 --> 00:12:26,523 a big house and a big stack of money. 430 00:12:26,842 --> 00:12:27,844 And there's nothing wrong 431 00:12:27,864 --> 00:12:28,783 with those things, 432 00:12:28,844 --> 00:12:30,404 but they should not be your 433 00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:31,345 whole life's work. 434 00:12:32,062 --> 00:12:33,623 I like how you also talk 435 00:12:33,663 --> 00:12:35,384 about having faith in there. 436 00:12:35,403 --> 00:12:36,464 That's something that's 437 00:12:36,624 --> 00:12:38,024 really important to me. 438 00:12:41,067 --> 00:12:42,768 It's so interesting though, 439 00:12:42,788 --> 00:12:43,587 because you're talking 440 00:12:43,607 --> 00:12:45,548 about not one part of the person, 441 00:12:45,589 --> 00:12:46,610 but the whole person. 442 00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:49,350 Exactly. 443 00:12:49,390 --> 00:12:49,591 Wow. 444 00:12:49,991 --> 00:12:51,111 What have been some 445 00:12:51,251 --> 00:12:52,753 interesting transformations 446 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:53,714 that you've seen on 447 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,875 people's vision that you've 448 00:12:55,934 --> 00:12:58,375 worked with that went from 449 00:12:58,416 --> 00:12:59,996 that vision board starter kit 450 00:13:01,044 --> 00:13:02,005 So actually something more 451 00:13:02,086 --> 00:13:03,846 meaningful and purposeful for them. 452 00:13:03,865 --> 00:13:04,106 Yeah. 453 00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:05,746 One of my favorites happened about, 454 00:13:06,187 --> 00:13:08,188 I want to say about six years ago. 455 00:13:08,589 --> 00:13:09,349 There's a company that I've 456 00:13:09,369 --> 00:13:10,048 worked with now. 457 00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:12,029 This past December was my 458 00:13:12,129 --> 00:13:14,912 seventeenth annual event with them. 459 00:13:14,991 --> 00:13:16,152 And I teach vision boards to 460 00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:17,072 their entire company and 461 00:13:17,092 --> 00:13:18,432 visualization and do some 462 00:13:18,472 --> 00:13:19,413 coaching for them as well. 463 00:13:20,374 --> 00:13:21,475 And one of the attendees 464 00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:22,916 reached out to me and said, Hey, Steve, 465 00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:23,936 I got this goal, 466 00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:25,356 something I've wanted to do 467 00:13:26,216 --> 00:13:27,337 for most of my life. 468 00:13:27,378 --> 00:13:28,077 And at the time she was 469 00:13:28,097 --> 00:13:29,379 around twenty eight, 470 00:13:29,418 --> 00:13:30,178 twenty nine years old. 471 00:13:30,942 --> 00:13:31,322 And she said, 472 00:13:31,442 --> 00:13:33,164 I want to go on a safari to Africa. 473 00:13:33,345 --> 00:13:34,787 Giraffes are my favorite 474 00:13:34,927 --> 00:13:36,369 creature on the planet. 475 00:13:36,428 --> 00:13:38,171 I think they're so majestic and gorgeous. 476 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,432 And I would love for, at the time, 477 00:13:40,734 --> 00:13:42,475 her fiance and her, now married, 478 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:44,677 to go on a safari. 479 00:13:45,919 --> 00:13:46,740 But I don't know how to 480 00:13:46,961 --> 00:13:48,243 create it as a vision. 481 00:13:48,263 --> 00:13:48,903 And I said, okay, 482 00:13:48,964 --> 00:13:50,044 we got on a coaching call. 483 00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:52,162 I said, well, where do you want to go? 484 00:13:52,201 --> 00:13:53,822 And she said, the plains of the Serengeti, 485 00:13:53,842 --> 00:13:54,403 because that's where 486 00:13:54,423 --> 00:13:55,484 there's a lot of giraffes 487 00:13:55,504 --> 00:13:56,144 and other animals. 488 00:13:56,264 --> 00:13:56,724 It's great. 489 00:13:57,085 --> 00:13:57,904 How much is it going to cost? 490 00:13:58,085 --> 00:13:58,644 I have no idea. 491 00:13:58,666 --> 00:13:59,245 I said, good. 492 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:00,606 This week, here's your first step. 493 00:14:00,647 --> 00:14:01,687 Reach out to a travel agent 494 00:14:01,706 --> 00:14:02,347 and figure out how much 495 00:14:02,368 --> 00:14:02,967 it's going to cost. 496 00:14:03,687 --> 00:14:04,408 So she did that. 497 00:14:04,548 --> 00:14:05,389 She determined it was going 498 00:14:05,408 --> 00:14:06,789 to be about ten thousand dollars. 499 00:14:07,551 --> 00:14:07,990 And I said, now, 500 00:14:08,071 --> 00:14:09,192 in addition to paying your bills, 501 00:14:09,211 --> 00:14:09,731 because remember, 502 00:14:09,751 --> 00:14:10,511 you got all these other 503 00:14:10,592 --> 00:14:11,513 eight areas of your life, 504 00:14:11,832 --> 00:14:12,913 all eight you're working on. 505 00:14:12,933 --> 00:14:14,014 This is kind of an add on 506 00:14:14,034 --> 00:14:14,735 for something cool. 507 00:14:16,403 --> 00:14:17,003 How long do you think it 508 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:17,943 would take you to save that 509 00:14:18,004 --> 00:14:19,284 in addition to paying all your bills? 510 00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:21,105 And she goes, ooh, probably two years. 511 00:14:21,125 --> 00:14:22,066 I said, okay, perfect. 512 00:14:22,606 --> 00:14:23,466 So now we're talking about a 513 00:14:23,527 --> 00:14:27,009 two-year project. 514 00:14:27,049 --> 00:14:28,029 Who could you share this with? 515 00:14:28,049 --> 00:14:28,610 Who do you trust? 516 00:14:28,629 --> 00:14:29,370 She goes, oh my gosh, 517 00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,412 my whole tribe of people on 518 00:14:31,432 --> 00:14:33,673 her team and all of her clients as well. 519 00:14:34,354 --> 00:14:36,054 So she went into her Facebook Live, 520 00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:37,635 her weekly Friday morning live. 521 00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:38,964 And said, 522 00:14:39,465 --> 00:14:40,446 I want to go on a safari to 523 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:41,966 Africa because I want to see giraffes. 524 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:43,048 And all of a sudden, 525 00:14:43,067 --> 00:14:43,967 people started sending her 526 00:14:43,988 --> 00:14:45,269 little giraffe pendants, 527 00:14:45,570 --> 00:14:47,770 a pen set that had four jungle creatures. 528 00:14:47,890 --> 00:14:48,772 One was a giraffe. 529 00:14:49,493 --> 00:14:50,874 I went on Amazon.com and I 530 00:14:50,894 --> 00:14:51,854 found her two shower 531 00:14:51,874 --> 00:14:53,596 stickers of a mama and a baby giraffe. 532 00:14:53,855 --> 00:14:55,817 They are still to this day in her shower. 533 00:14:56,758 --> 00:14:57,678 And she sees them every day 534 00:14:57,698 --> 00:14:58,559 and she touches them and says, 535 00:14:58,620 --> 00:15:00,620 I'm going to come see you. 536 00:15:00,681 --> 00:15:02,121 In order to track her progress, 537 00:15:02,142 --> 00:15:02,482 because again, 538 00:15:02,503 --> 00:15:03,964 we're talking two years here. 539 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:05,860 I found a children's 540 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:06,741 coloring book with a 541 00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:08,322 giraffe picture in it, 542 00:15:08,701 --> 00:15:10,263 and it had twelve spots on it. 543 00:15:10,903 --> 00:15:11,943 So I wrote her name and her 544 00:15:11,964 --> 00:15:13,144 fiance's name on two of them, 545 00:15:13,183 --> 00:15:14,423 and I wrote five hundred, five hundred, 546 00:15:14,464 --> 00:15:15,225 five hundred, five hundred, 547 00:15:15,264 --> 00:15:16,164 five on the other ten, 548 00:15:16,644 --> 00:15:18,046 five thousand dollars for each year. 549 00:15:18,225 --> 00:15:19,946 Every time she banked five hundred dollars, 550 00:15:19,966 --> 00:15:20,846 she would do a Facebook 551 00:15:20,947 --> 00:15:24,048 Live and color in a spot on that giraffe. 552 00:15:25,368 --> 00:15:27,089 So it kept going every 553 00:15:27,129 --> 00:15:28,149 Friday morning on a radio 554 00:15:28,168 --> 00:15:29,970 station that's up here in the Northeast, 555 00:15:30,009 --> 00:15:30,830 and she could hear it in 556 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:31,870 Maine and I could hear it 557 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:32,510 in New Hampshire. 558 00:15:33,179 --> 00:15:33,900 Every Friday morning, 559 00:15:33,921 --> 00:15:35,121 they would do a name that tune. 560 00:15:35,162 --> 00:15:36,663 And at the end of it, for some reason, 561 00:15:36,683 --> 00:15:38,024 they would play Africa by Toto. 562 00:15:40,128 --> 00:15:41,229 It was called Africa Friday. 563 00:15:41,428 --> 00:15:42,791 So every Friday morning, 564 00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:43,751 she made sure she listened 565 00:15:43,772 --> 00:15:45,293 to that and she heard Africa. 566 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,135 Now, I created a hashtag for her, 567 00:15:48,397 --> 00:15:50,499 Giraffe Africa, put them together. 568 00:15:50,818 --> 00:15:52,181 She became known as hashtag 569 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,261 Giraffrica Jen. 570 00:15:54,727 --> 00:15:56,469 still is all these years 571 00:15:56,509 --> 00:15:57,989 later now covet got in the 572 00:15:58,028 --> 00:15:59,289 way a lot of things and 573 00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:00,769 travel and some things 574 00:16:00,809 --> 00:16:02,291 going on over there she's 575 00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:03,831 actually going this summer 576 00:16:03,912 --> 00:16:06,692 finally for all the work we 577 00:16:06,712 --> 00:16:08,013 did for those two years 578 00:16:08,052 --> 00:16:09,033 together and she nailed it 579 00:16:09,053 --> 00:16:10,134 by the way she I think she 580 00:16:10,153 --> 00:16:12,254 was six or eight weeks into 581 00:16:13,335 --> 00:16:14,576 beyond the second year is 582 00:16:14,615 --> 00:16:16,135 when she finally saved the 583 00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:17,456 ten thousand dollars 584 00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:20,017 incredible what everyone 585 00:16:20,336 --> 00:16:21,898 everyone piled on and sent 586 00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:22,957 her all these giraffe 587 00:16:22,977 --> 00:16:23,697 things and she would send 588 00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:24,697 me pictures every time she 589 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,758 goes oh my gosh this thing 590 00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:27,859 has taken on a life of its 591 00:16:27,918 --> 00:16:29,318 own and so that's what 592 00:16:29,359 --> 00:16:31,099 happens when you share your 593 00:16:31,139 --> 00:16:33,460 vision very clearly and 594 00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:36,059 passionately other people 595 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,659 want to be a part of it and 596 00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:39,201 she is still getting gifts 597 00:16:39,321 --> 00:16:40,801 and anytime my wife and I 598 00:16:40,821 --> 00:16:42,421 would be traveling if we 599 00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:43,860 saw a giant stuffed animal 600 00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:45,381 giraffe I would go hug it 601 00:16:45,442 --> 00:16:46,081 and she would take my 602 00:16:46,101 --> 00:16:47,481 picture and we would send it to jen 603 00:16:50,182 --> 00:16:52,884 Such next level, you know, 604 00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:54,385 in a couple of different ways, right? 605 00:16:54,466 --> 00:16:55,566 No, I love that. 606 00:16:55,726 --> 00:16:57,587 I love a story where you 607 00:16:57,967 --> 00:16:59,208 really honor people. 608 00:17:00,668 --> 00:17:02,551 I'm pretty passionate about that. 609 00:17:02,671 --> 00:17:03,990 It's one of the tenets of my 610 00:17:04,031 --> 00:17:07,192 business is to give first, give often, 611 00:17:07,313 --> 00:17:08,173 and do it with love. 612 00:17:08,814 --> 00:17:11,415 Everything we should do, you know, 613 00:17:11,455 --> 00:17:13,017 in a business sense or just 614 00:17:13,076 --> 00:17:16,179 in life is to love another person. 615 00:17:16,699 --> 00:17:17,078 You know what? 616 00:17:17,138 --> 00:17:18,000 It starts with self. 617 00:17:20,136 --> 00:17:21,096 It starts with self and 618 00:17:21,156 --> 00:17:22,617 honoring yourself too. 619 00:17:22,798 --> 00:17:23,958 And if you have these big 620 00:17:23,998 --> 00:17:26,219 goals and big dreams, you know, 621 00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:28,799 we can be our own worst critics. 622 00:17:29,099 --> 00:17:30,721 We can be the first people to say, 623 00:17:30,740 --> 00:17:31,020 you know what? 624 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,040 That's not possible. 625 00:17:32,721 --> 00:17:33,040 You know what? 626 00:17:33,060 --> 00:17:34,622 That's too far out of the way, 627 00:17:35,301 --> 00:17:36,142 too far reaching. 628 00:17:36,162 --> 00:17:38,022 That's, that's not doable. 629 00:17:38,063 --> 00:17:38,623 I can't do. 630 00:17:38,903 --> 00:17:39,722 And you start to talk 631 00:17:39,762 --> 00:17:41,804 yourself out of it really quick. 632 00:17:42,304 --> 00:17:42,884 Oh yeah. 633 00:17:42,924 --> 00:17:44,424 I used to speak that one fluently. 634 00:17:44,744 --> 00:17:47,145 I was a very self deprecating, 635 00:17:47,875 --> 00:17:50,237 and had no confidence for 636 00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:52,137 years which is pronounced 637 00:17:52,337 --> 00:17:55,039 decades of my life this 638 00:17:55,279 --> 00:17:56,881 confidence to me is only 639 00:17:58,582 --> 00:17:59,541 well put it this way I said 640 00:17:59,561 --> 00:18:00,542 this to somebody recently 641 00:18:00,603 --> 00:18:02,124 when she blew me off for a 642 00:18:02,163 --> 00:18:03,284 zoom call the next day I 643 00:18:03,344 --> 00:18:04,345 asked her why and she said 644 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:05,325 it's kind of embarrassing 645 00:18:05,365 --> 00:18:07,707 but I'm I'm intimidated by 646 00:18:07,727 --> 00:18:08,846 your conference and I 647 00:18:09,268 --> 00:18:10,667 busted out laughing I said 648 00:18:10,708 --> 00:18:11,568 here's the link let's get 649 00:18:11,608 --> 00:18:13,349 on a zoom call now and I 650 00:18:13,369 --> 00:18:14,790 said look my confidence can 651 00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:15,830 barely drive a car and it 652 00:18:15,851 --> 00:18:17,311 sure as hell can't buy a beer yet 653 00:18:20,836 --> 00:18:21,036 I said, 654 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,396 I'm fifty six and my confidence is 655 00:18:23,737 --> 00:18:26,317 maybe about nineteen or twenty years old. 656 00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:27,837 So there's hope. 657 00:18:28,298 --> 00:18:29,778 But it all and you nailed it. 658 00:18:29,878 --> 00:18:30,798 It starts with you. 659 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,319 It starts with the person in your mirror. 660 00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:34,540 Every morning when I get up 661 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:35,921 at five oh five to do my 662 00:18:35,961 --> 00:18:36,942 morning workout and 663 00:18:37,061 --> 00:18:38,321 inspired by Mel Robbins, 664 00:18:38,442 --> 00:18:39,962 as soon as I hit that bathroom mirror, 665 00:18:39,982 --> 00:18:41,103 I give myself a huge high 666 00:18:41,143 --> 00:18:42,763 five and I point at myself and say, you, 667 00:18:42,784 --> 00:18:44,163 my friend, are a good dude. 668 00:18:44,912 --> 00:18:45,833 You're going to go work out 669 00:18:45,952 --> 00:18:47,354 and you are going to have a great day. 670 00:18:47,433 --> 00:18:48,454 And here's the cool part. 671 00:18:48,775 --> 00:18:49,434 You're going to make this 672 00:18:49,474 --> 00:18:51,096 day better for at least one other person. 673 00:18:51,116 --> 00:18:52,057 But it starts with you and 674 00:18:52,076 --> 00:18:52,958 we're going to have a good day. 675 00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:53,458 Rock on. 676 00:18:54,019 --> 00:18:55,180 That's how I start my mornings. 677 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,760 I love that. 678 00:18:56,780 --> 00:18:58,422 Total opposite from twenty 679 00:18:58,461 --> 00:19:00,963 years ago when I was looking to go. 680 00:19:00,983 --> 00:19:02,105 You dumbass. 681 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,346 Look what you did yesterday. 682 00:19:03,365 --> 00:19:06,508 You screwed it up, which is like. 683 00:19:06,528 --> 00:19:08,028 Just throwing a turd bomb at 684 00:19:08,068 --> 00:19:09,069 yourself first thing in the 685 00:19:09,109 --> 00:19:10,691 morning and it's going to wreck your day. 686 00:19:10,711 --> 00:19:13,353 And I've learned self-talk super critical. 687 00:19:13,373 --> 00:19:14,273 Now, you don't have to be like. 688 00:19:14,789 --> 00:19:15,750 Stuart Smalley, you know, 689 00:19:15,790 --> 00:19:17,531 you're good enough, you're smart enough, 690 00:19:17,571 --> 00:19:19,172 and gosh darn it, people love you. 691 00:19:19,772 --> 00:19:20,833 You don't have to be all that way. 692 00:19:21,614 --> 00:19:23,835 But cut yourself some slack. 693 00:19:23,934 --> 00:19:24,935 Think of your favorite 694 00:19:25,016 --> 00:19:26,455 moment from the day before, 695 00:19:26,536 --> 00:19:27,196 something you did. 696 00:19:27,237 --> 00:19:28,116 Maybe you held the door for 697 00:19:28,156 --> 00:19:29,978 somebody or somebody said, thank you. 698 00:19:30,858 --> 00:19:32,700 Or somebody told you, hey, 699 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:33,880 you did a great job on this. 700 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,101 Or somebody paid you a compliment, 701 00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:36,221 told you to have a nice hat, 702 00:19:36,582 --> 00:19:37,301 whatever it was. 703 00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,182 Think of the best moment 704 00:19:39,202 --> 00:19:40,284 from the previous day and 705 00:19:40,364 --> 00:19:42,045 use that to start your new day. 706 00:19:42,065 --> 00:19:43,746 I love that. 707 00:19:44,679 --> 00:19:48,040 Yes, because, you know, a lot of people, 708 00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:49,142 myself included, 709 00:19:49,382 --> 00:19:54,565 have suffered from ruminating thoughts. 710 00:19:54,585 --> 00:19:55,345 Yeah. 711 00:19:55,684 --> 00:19:56,965 You used to stay all day. 712 00:19:57,566 --> 00:19:59,166 Yes, yes. 713 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,888 And they really can not just 714 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,009 destroy your confidence. 715 00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:05,651 They can destroy every aspect of your life, 716 00:20:05,691 --> 00:20:06,191 Steve. 717 00:20:06,351 --> 00:20:09,333 And one of the powerful things about, 718 00:20:09,573 --> 00:20:11,334 again, that clarity of vision, 719 00:20:11,933 --> 00:20:12,795 it's an anchor. 720 00:20:13,327 --> 00:20:14,409 in a lot of ways. 721 00:20:14,628 --> 00:20:16,890 So even if negative thoughts 722 00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:19,412 come to mind or even worse, 723 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:21,173 the record player of negative thoughts, 724 00:20:21,192 --> 00:20:22,294 that ruminating thought 725 00:20:22,334 --> 00:20:23,275 that I'm talking about, 726 00:20:24,075 --> 00:20:26,856 the vision will help guide 727 00:20:26,876 --> 00:20:28,557 you through that process 728 00:20:28,778 --> 00:20:31,519 because it's almost like 729 00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:35,742 the compass that really 730 00:20:35,823 --> 00:20:37,663 takes you through the storm, you know? 731 00:20:38,721 --> 00:20:40,022 And we all go through those 732 00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:41,963 times in our lives when we're, again, 733 00:20:42,003 --> 00:20:42,884 doubting ourselves, 734 00:20:42,904 --> 00:20:43,944 doubting our abilities. 735 00:20:45,727 --> 00:20:47,807 And we're questioning our 736 00:20:48,067 --> 00:20:49,989 just worth and confidence. 737 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,030 But when you have a really clear vision, 738 00:20:53,391 --> 00:20:55,132 it is like a compass and it 739 00:20:55,152 --> 00:20:56,532 helps you kind of get back 740 00:20:56,613 --> 00:20:58,515 on track and get back in on 741 00:20:58,535 --> 00:20:59,575 the path as a word. 742 00:20:59,595 --> 00:21:00,836 Don't you agree with that? 743 00:21:01,743 --> 00:21:03,684 yeah um and one of the 744 00:21:03,704 --> 00:21:04,964 things too is if you're in 745 00:21:05,045 --> 00:21:06,365 a weaker place right now or 746 00:21:06,384 --> 00:21:07,405 a place that's compromised 747 00:21:07,425 --> 00:21:08,425 by your own self-talk or 748 00:21:08,445 --> 00:21:09,365 your self-beliefs and your 749 00:21:09,405 --> 00:21:11,067 thoughts here's the thing I 750 00:21:11,106 --> 00:21:12,686 tell people I said look you 751 00:21:12,707 --> 00:21:13,807 set this vision you created 752 00:21:13,847 --> 00:21:14,907 this you told me this story 753 00:21:14,928 --> 00:21:16,147 and which I'm a storyteller 754 00:21:16,167 --> 00:21:18,449 by nature so I'll say you 755 00:21:18,469 --> 00:21:19,169 know tell me a little story 756 00:21:19,189 --> 00:21:20,269 about this and like oh this 757 00:21:20,309 --> 00:21:21,250 this this and this I said 758 00:21:21,309 --> 00:21:21,890 okay how are you going to 759 00:21:21,910 --> 00:21:24,230 get there I have no idea okay 760 00:21:25,134 --> 00:21:26,595 is there anybody out there 761 00:21:26,734 --> 00:21:28,135 on planet earth right now 762 00:21:28,175 --> 00:21:29,115 who is enjoying the life 763 00:21:29,135 --> 00:21:29,916 that you want to create 764 00:21:29,957 --> 00:21:31,557 they go well yeah it's kind 765 00:21:31,597 --> 00:21:32,637 of part of what inspired me 766 00:21:32,657 --> 00:21:35,660 I said good start shadowing 767 00:21:35,759 --> 00:21:37,461 or observing these people 768 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:38,801 just watch from a distance 769 00:21:38,821 --> 00:21:39,582 I mean if you can meet them 770 00:21:39,622 --> 00:21:41,042 and greet them great but 771 00:21:41,083 --> 00:21:42,364 watch from a distance see 772 00:21:42,403 --> 00:21:43,744 how they carry themselves 773 00:21:43,785 --> 00:21:44,664 see what they post on 774 00:21:44,724 --> 00:21:45,766 social media see what they 775 00:21:45,865 --> 00:21:47,166 never do on social media 776 00:21:47,186 --> 00:21:47,826 and don't do that 777 00:21:49,198 --> 00:21:51,259 But emulate these people who 778 00:21:51,299 --> 00:21:53,000 are higher up the mountain than you are. 779 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,622 Step in their steps. 780 00:21:54,761 --> 00:21:57,785 Watch what they do and how they do it. 781 00:21:58,746 --> 00:21:59,726 Success leaves clues. 782 00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:01,067 Everybody in the world has said that. 783 00:22:01,126 --> 00:22:02,848 I think Tony Robbins gets credit for it. 784 00:22:02,888 --> 00:22:05,230 But success does leave clues. 785 00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:06,191 And if you see people out 786 00:22:06,211 --> 00:22:07,051 there living the type of 787 00:22:07,071 --> 00:22:10,095 life you wish to live, 788 00:22:10,115 --> 00:22:11,655 just observe those people. 789 00:22:12,195 --> 00:22:12,817 Read their books. 790 00:22:12,836 --> 00:22:13,517 Read their articles. 791 00:22:13,557 --> 00:22:14,238 Watch their videos. 792 00:22:14,278 --> 00:22:15,558 Listen to their podcasts. 793 00:22:16,892 --> 00:22:18,511 Again, follow them on social media. 794 00:22:18,531 --> 00:22:20,133 See what they say and how they say it. 795 00:22:20,792 --> 00:22:21,613 See how they treat other 796 00:22:21,653 --> 00:22:24,373 people and start to emulate that. 797 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,574 Jack Canfield calls it acting as if. 798 00:22:27,773 --> 00:22:28,913 Act as if you're already at 799 00:22:28,953 --> 00:22:31,194 that level and you will get there. 800 00:22:31,255 --> 00:22:33,515 It'll pull you uphill when 801 00:22:33,535 --> 00:22:34,194 you start to do that 802 00:22:34,214 --> 00:22:34,734 because you're going to 803 00:22:34,755 --> 00:22:35,714 start to realize the people, 804 00:22:35,934 --> 00:22:36,895 some of them who are in 805 00:22:36,915 --> 00:22:37,776 your life right now, 806 00:22:38,195 --> 00:22:38,996 who are trying to drag you 807 00:22:39,016 --> 00:22:39,935 down a different path. 808 00:22:40,895 --> 00:22:42,175 You have got to set some 809 00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:43,116 boundaries and you have got 810 00:22:43,136 --> 00:22:43,876 to make yourself less 811 00:22:43,916 --> 00:22:44,997 available to those people. 812 00:22:45,788 --> 00:22:46,568 Start looking up the 813 00:22:46,588 --> 00:22:49,069 mountain toward cliffs in 814 00:22:49,089 --> 00:22:51,351 the peak and not sitting at 815 00:22:51,391 --> 00:22:52,372 the bottom of the mountain 816 00:22:52,412 --> 00:22:53,873 on a rotten picnic table, 817 00:22:53,893 --> 00:22:54,692 giving your splinters in 818 00:22:54,732 --> 00:22:55,733 your butt downwind of the 819 00:22:55,773 --> 00:22:57,375 porta potties in the parking lot. 820 00:22:58,615 --> 00:23:00,036 Start climbing with the right people. 821 00:23:00,517 --> 00:23:02,377 Yes, climb with the right people. 822 00:23:02,998 --> 00:23:05,159 So you're mentioning something that is, 823 00:23:05,219 --> 00:23:06,759 again, very passionate to me. 824 00:23:08,441 --> 00:23:10,301 I have three foundational 825 00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:12,884 layers of gratitude that I talk about. 826 00:23:13,898 --> 00:23:15,059 gratitude for the person 827 00:23:15,079 --> 00:23:16,500 that you were gratitude for 828 00:23:16,519 --> 00:23:17,881 the person that you are and 829 00:23:17,901 --> 00:23:19,241 gratitude for the person 830 00:23:19,321 --> 00:23:21,041 you are becoming. 831 00:23:21,742 --> 00:23:24,304 And again, yes, that's, you know, 832 00:23:24,324 --> 00:23:26,345 that was the premise of my TEDx talk. 833 00:23:27,345 --> 00:23:29,546 We don't talk about that enough, 834 00:23:29,586 --> 00:23:30,626 that gratitude for the 835 00:23:30,666 --> 00:23:32,448 person that we are becoming 836 00:23:32,468 --> 00:23:33,567 the person that we want to 837 00:23:33,607 --> 00:23:34,729 become the person that we 838 00:23:34,769 --> 00:23:36,109 want to align ourselves with. 839 00:23:36,150 --> 00:23:37,549 Right. 840 00:23:37,609 --> 00:23:39,631 Some people call it your highest self. 841 00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:40,832 I just say, 842 00:23:41,758 --> 00:23:42,038 you know, 843 00:23:42,057 --> 00:23:43,598 making the most out of your life 844 00:23:43,659 --> 00:23:45,500 and aligning with your purpose, right? 845 00:23:45,539 --> 00:23:47,541 But whether you believe it's 846 00:23:47,561 --> 00:23:48,741 your highest self or not, 847 00:23:48,801 --> 00:23:50,123 or just the best version of 848 00:23:50,163 --> 00:23:51,923 yourself really is how I look at it. 849 00:23:51,963 --> 00:23:53,625 Just, you know, aligning with that person. 850 00:23:53,664 --> 00:23:53,884 Again, 851 00:23:53,944 --> 00:23:56,267 it goes and coincides with this 852 00:23:56,346 --> 00:23:57,748 vision that we're talking about. 853 00:23:58,248 --> 00:24:00,348 You can't have gratitude for 854 00:24:00,388 --> 00:24:02,770 something until you truly 855 00:24:02,790 --> 00:24:05,291 believe it's already happened, right? 856 00:24:06,232 --> 00:24:06,432 So, 857 00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:08,894 but imagine you have that gratitude 858 00:24:08,953 --> 00:24:09,974 already and you're really 859 00:24:09,994 --> 00:24:11,455 grasping that person and 860 00:24:11,942 --> 00:24:12,943 that you want to become, 861 00:24:13,003 --> 00:24:14,565 it again makes it so much 862 00:24:14,765 --> 00:24:16,467 easier to become that person. 863 00:24:16,987 --> 00:24:20,009 That's actually the, out of my book, 864 00:24:20,048 --> 00:24:21,590 that was the most asked 865 00:24:21,691 --> 00:24:23,913 question was how can I have 866 00:24:23,972 --> 00:24:26,253 gratitude for the future 867 00:24:26,273 --> 00:24:27,595 version of myself that I 868 00:24:27,615 --> 00:24:28,655 have yet to become? 869 00:24:29,997 --> 00:24:30,877 The thing of it is you 870 00:24:30,897 --> 00:24:32,159 become that future version 871 00:24:32,219 --> 00:24:33,559 of yourself so much quicker 872 00:24:33,579 --> 00:24:35,000 when you realize that and 873 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,563 make that understanding 874 00:24:37,703 --> 00:24:39,464 really tangible for yourself. 875 00:24:40,424 --> 00:24:42,326 I already have gratitude for 876 00:24:42,465 --> 00:24:44,126 every single goal that I've ever had. 877 00:24:44,247 --> 00:24:45,627 Why? 878 00:24:45,667 --> 00:24:47,769 Because I believe it's going to happen. 879 00:24:48,409 --> 00:24:50,490 I have faith that it will happen. 880 00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:53,432 It's already happened. 881 00:24:53,491 --> 00:24:54,692 So powerful, Steve. 882 00:24:55,443 --> 00:24:56,064 Yeah. 883 00:24:56,183 --> 00:24:56,923 And I've been keeping a 884 00:24:56,943 --> 00:24:57,964 gratitude journal now for 885 00:24:58,085 --> 00:24:59,424 over thirteen years. 886 00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:00,785 And my typical practice 887 00:25:01,286 --> 00:25:03,125 starts after my workout 888 00:25:03,185 --> 00:25:05,186 when I get back up to my 889 00:25:05,287 --> 00:25:06,826 office and I flip open the 890 00:25:06,866 --> 00:25:09,048 laptop as it's powering up. 891 00:25:09,528 --> 00:25:10,327 My gratitude journal 892 00:25:10,387 --> 00:25:11,627 actually sits underneath it 893 00:25:11,647 --> 00:25:12,407 to keep it at a little 894 00:25:12,748 --> 00:25:15,588 slant so I can type somewhat legibly. 895 00:25:16,648 --> 00:25:18,150 And I'll take it out and 896 00:25:18,170 --> 00:25:19,450 I'll write the date and I 897 00:25:19,470 --> 00:25:21,151 write the words great stuff. 898 00:25:21,510 --> 00:25:22,451 And I write one, two, three. 899 00:25:23,342 --> 00:25:24,521 And in less than a line each, 900 00:25:24,682 --> 00:25:25,643 I write my three favorite 901 00:25:25,843 --> 00:25:27,103 moments from the previous 902 00:25:27,163 --> 00:25:29,523 day as descriptively as I 903 00:25:29,564 --> 00:25:31,544 can in less than a line each. 904 00:25:32,625 --> 00:25:36,625 And even on the worst, absolute worst, 905 00:25:36,746 --> 00:25:38,227 toughest days of my life, 906 00:25:39,386 --> 00:25:40,567 when the storm is raging, 907 00:25:40,586 --> 00:25:41,567 when there's thunder, lightning, 908 00:25:41,607 --> 00:25:43,347 wind and rain and just jet 909 00:25:43,387 --> 00:25:44,868 black clouds across the sky, 910 00:25:45,749 --> 00:25:46,868 I can find that little tiny 911 00:25:46,909 --> 00:25:48,190 crack in the clouds where 912 00:25:48,210 --> 00:25:49,670 that one ray of light comes through. 913 00:25:50,731 --> 00:25:51,832 that's what I try to focus 914 00:25:51,892 --> 00:25:52,813 on every day as far as the 915 00:25:52,833 --> 00:25:55,252 gratitude going on and if 916 00:25:55,272 --> 00:26:12,176 you can do that three two 917 00:26:12,277 --> 00:26:14,758 and go so the most 918 00:26:14,778 --> 00:26:15,538 important thing is to 919 00:26:15,577 --> 00:26:16,778 remember no matter what is 920 00:26:16,837 --> 00:26:18,759 happening out there there is something 921 00:26:19,473 --> 00:26:20,335 to be grateful for. 922 00:26:20,515 --> 00:26:21,415 And my family and I have a 923 00:26:21,455 --> 00:26:22,316 small nonprofit. 924 00:26:22,336 --> 00:26:23,297 It's a five one C three 925 00:26:23,317 --> 00:26:24,518 called Beach Bum Philanthropy. 926 00:26:25,178 --> 00:26:26,499 And we try to do our best to 927 00:26:26,519 --> 00:26:28,641 help out local homeless shelters. 928 00:26:29,481 --> 00:26:32,023 And even yesterday, here in New Hampshire, 929 00:26:32,044 --> 00:26:33,565 it was minus eight degrees. 930 00:26:34,526 --> 00:26:35,707 And I went to the shelter, 931 00:26:35,946 --> 00:26:38,429 and I had a couple of cans of coffee, 932 00:26:38,909 --> 00:26:40,190 and brought them and these people, 933 00:26:40,250 --> 00:26:41,070 many of whom live out on 934 00:26:41,090 --> 00:26:42,811 the street or just crashing 935 00:26:42,872 --> 00:26:43,932 somewhere on a friend's couch. 936 00:26:44,587 --> 00:26:45,568 We're so grateful just to 937 00:26:45,608 --> 00:26:46,949 have a hot cup of coffee 938 00:26:46,989 --> 00:26:48,250 yesterday to come in out of the cold. 939 00:26:48,329 --> 00:26:49,691 And I said, you know, 940 00:26:49,711 --> 00:26:50,310 do you have anybody that 941 00:26:50,351 --> 00:26:51,192 doesn't drink coffee that 942 00:26:51,211 --> 00:26:51,951 likes hot chocolate? 943 00:26:51,971 --> 00:26:52,372 They said, oh, 944 00:26:52,412 --> 00:26:53,772 we go through hot chocolate like crazy, 945 00:26:53,813 --> 00:26:55,673 but we're out. 946 00:26:55,693 --> 00:26:56,954 Give me about fifteen minutes. 947 00:26:57,654 --> 00:26:58,736 Came back with ninety 948 00:26:58,776 --> 00:27:00,017 packets of hot chocolate 949 00:27:00,176 --> 00:27:02,877 and they were so grateful. 950 00:27:02,917 --> 00:27:04,759 So even people who are 951 00:27:04,838 --> 00:27:06,640 dealing with day to day 952 00:27:06,859 --> 00:27:08,580 life or death challenges, 953 00:27:09,662 --> 00:27:10,622 we're grateful that they 954 00:27:10,642 --> 00:27:11,663 could have a mug of hot 955 00:27:12,340 --> 00:27:14,001 Cocoa with marshmallows. 956 00:27:14,041 --> 00:27:14,701 I made sure I got the one 957 00:27:14,741 --> 00:27:15,461 with marshmallows because 958 00:27:15,481 --> 00:27:16,163 that's my favorite. 959 00:27:17,323 --> 00:27:20,164 But even, you know, 960 00:27:20,265 --> 00:27:21,365 and we can all be anywhere 961 00:27:21,384 --> 00:27:23,905 in our life and forget to 962 00:27:23,925 --> 00:27:25,346 be grateful for those little things. 963 00:27:25,446 --> 00:27:27,607 And that's something I take 964 00:27:27,627 --> 00:27:28,567 with me every day whenever 965 00:27:28,607 --> 00:27:30,769 we go to the shelter to understand. 966 00:27:32,109 --> 00:27:32,930 I want to give these people 967 00:27:32,970 --> 00:27:34,951 something to be grateful for today. 968 00:27:35,351 --> 00:27:38,932 If you can find the gratitude. 969 00:27:40,079 --> 00:27:43,000 your life becomes so much better. 970 00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:45,402 And I really encourage 971 00:27:45,541 --> 00:27:46,902 everybody listening to this 972 00:27:46,961 --> 00:27:49,923 to really grab hold of this concept. 973 00:27:49,942 --> 00:27:51,284 There's a reason why 974 00:27:51,344 --> 00:27:53,144 gratitude is my first step 975 00:27:53,183 --> 00:27:55,545 in my method to build confidence. 976 00:27:56,144 --> 00:27:58,546 It's not just about building confidence. 977 00:27:58,605 --> 00:28:02,086 It's about living a more fulfilled life. 978 00:28:02,907 --> 00:28:05,409 It's about connecting with other people, 979 00:28:05,469 --> 00:28:06,628 starting with yourself. 980 00:28:07,682 --> 00:28:10,084 It's about appreciating the 981 00:28:10,163 --> 00:28:11,984 life that you've lived, your past, 982 00:28:12,325 --> 00:28:13,425 the life that you're living, 983 00:28:13,465 --> 00:28:14,067 your present. 984 00:28:14,146 --> 00:28:14,547 And again, 985 00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:16,909 that life that you want to live 986 00:28:16,949 --> 00:28:18,670 for your future. 987 00:28:18,730 --> 00:28:19,570 If you can find the 988 00:28:19,590 --> 00:28:21,531 gratitude in any situation, 989 00:28:22,393 --> 00:28:23,653 it's not only going to lead 990 00:28:23,693 --> 00:28:25,434 to a level of fulfillment 991 00:28:25,555 --> 00:28:27,316 that I feel like a lot of 992 00:28:27,375 --> 00:28:29,458 people haven't even experienced yet. 993 00:28:30,077 --> 00:28:30,838 But for me, 994 00:28:30,919 --> 00:28:34,060 it was a really deep connection 995 00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:35,082 to my faith. 996 00:28:36,945 --> 00:28:38,487 It deepened my faith in a 997 00:28:38,527 --> 00:28:41,067 way that I was not expecting. 998 00:28:41,848 --> 00:28:46,050 And not only faith in myself, like, yes, 999 00:28:46,151 --> 00:28:47,112 I can do this, 1000 00:28:47,192 --> 00:28:49,272 but it was a faith and a 1001 00:28:49,313 --> 00:28:51,153 higher power that said, you know what? 1002 00:28:52,654 --> 00:28:53,955 I was made for more. 1003 00:28:54,016 --> 00:28:55,537 I was born for more. 1004 00:28:55,836 --> 00:28:57,238 I wasn't born to suffer. 1005 00:28:57,778 --> 00:29:00,359 I wasn't born to be miserable. 1006 00:29:00,819 --> 00:29:02,520 I wasn't born to have lack. 1007 00:29:04,162 --> 00:29:06,063 And I know that anybody 1008 00:29:07,212 --> 00:29:08,913 that's listening to this right now, 1009 00:29:09,673 --> 00:29:11,775 maybe we, again, we felt that way before, 1010 00:29:11,815 --> 00:29:13,796 but I'm telling you right now, 1011 00:29:14,557 --> 00:29:16,897 your life is made for more. 1012 00:29:16,938 --> 00:29:18,098 You're made for more. 1013 00:29:18,898 --> 00:29:20,380 You can absolutely do 1014 00:29:20,519 --> 00:29:23,842 anything you want in life. 1015 00:29:25,342 --> 00:29:26,182 It starts with you. 1016 00:29:26,202 --> 00:29:27,624 Yeah. 1017 00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:29,565 And something I share with a lot of people, 1018 00:29:30,045 --> 00:29:30,825 especially if they might be 1019 00:29:30,865 --> 00:29:31,325 going through some 1020 00:29:31,365 --> 00:29:32,306 struggles in life right now, 1021 00:29:33,115 --> 00:29:33,634 I just tell them, 1022 00:29:33,894 --> 00:29:34,895 be very careful with the 1023 00:29:34,976 --> 00:29:35,776 universe and the law of 1024 00:29:35,796 --> 00:29:36,816 attraction because it has a 1025 00:29:36,895 --> 00:29:37,516 sense of humor. 1026 00:29:38,116 --> 00:29:39,116 If you're going through some 1027 00:29:39,156 --> 00:29:40,978 stuff right now, and I get it, trust me, 1028 00:29:41,337 --> 00:29:42,238 in my life right now, 1029 00:29:43,097 --> 00:29:44,058 privately going through 1030 00:29:44,138 --> 00:29:46,019 some very serious things at the moment. 1031 00:29:46,679 --> 00:29:48,039 But what I caution people on 1032 00:29:48,099 --> 00:29:50,079 is don't ever look up at the sky and say, 1033 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:52,401 what else could possibly go wrong? 1034 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:53,402 Because the universe will 1035 00:29:53,521 --> 00:29:56,201 actually pause for a second, giggle, 1036 00:29:56,962 --> 00:29:57,903 and send you some more crap. 1037 00:29:59,288 --> 00:30:01,028 Because that's, in a way, 1038 00:30:01,128 --> 00:30:02,190 almost what you're asking for. 1039 00:30:02,230 --> 00:30:03,390 Like what else can go wrong 1040 00:30:03,849 --> 00:30:05,691 to pile on and actually make this worse? 1041 00:30:06,990 --> 00:30:07,990 A better thing to do, 1042 00:30:08,050 --> 00:30:10,011 and I know it's so easy to fall into that, 1043 00:30:10,092 --> 00:30:11,612 is just to say, okay, this is going on, 1044 00:30:11,652 --> 00:30:13,053 this is going on, this is going on. 1045 00:30:13,653 --> 00:30:15,212 What can I do about it today 1046 00:30:16,232 --> 00:30:17,874 to bring a plus sign at the 1047 00:30:17,933 --> 00:30:18,733 end of the day and not 1048 00:30:18,773 --> 00:30:19,614 another minus sign? 1049 00:30:19,653 --> 00:30:21,295 How can I focus on that 1050 00:30:21,315 --> 00:30:22,335 little tiny crack in the 1051 00:30:22,375 --> 00:30:23,154 clouds where the sun is 1052 00:30:23,174 --> 00:30:23,954 coming through versus 1053 00:30:23,974 --> 00:30:25,256 staring at the clouds and 1054 00:30:25,296 --> 00:30:26,455 waiting for the lightning to hit me? 1055 00:30:27,548 --> 00:30:28,950 we've got to be very careful 1056 00:30:29,009 --> 00:30:30,871 with our choice of words 1057 00:30:30,931 --> 00:30:32,031 it's like what I caution 1058 00:30:32,051 --> 00:30:33,032 people on when they talk 1059 00:30:33,073 --> 00:30:33,893 about themselves being 1060 00:30:33,932 --> 00:30:36,734 self-deprecating is that 1061 00:30:36,775 --> 00:30:38,135 your inner self is just 1062 00:30:38,416 --> 00:30:39,317 going to respond to the 1063 00:30:39,396 --> 00:30:41,878 words and the tone so be 1064 00:30:41,919 --> 00:30:43,000 very careful the words that 1065 00:30:43,039 --> 00:30:44,740 you choose to use whether 1066 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,981 it's inside yourself or to 1067 00:30:47,001 --> 00:30:48,963 the world around you I just 1068 00:30:48,983 --> 00:30:50,003 keep looking for signs that 1069 00:30:50,204 --> 00:30:51,404 better days are coming and 1070 00:30:51,444 --> 00:30:52,066 good things are going to 1071 00:30:52,086 --> 00:30:53,086 happen and I actually 1072 00:30:53,106 --> 00:30:53,866 believe that I'm going to 1073 00:30:53,886 --> 00:30:54,948 be part of the process 1074 00:30:55,845 --> 00:30:56,884 So it keeps me from just 1075 00:30:56,924 --> 00:30:58,065 being down or focusing on 1076 00:30:58,085 --> 00:31:00,425 the really bad stuff and saying, okay, 1077 00:31:00,445 --> 00:31:01,506 we're going to find some hope here. 1078 00:31:02,226 --> 00:31:02,925 I'm going to find the next 1079 00:31:03,006 --> 00:31:04,247 best version of me today. 1080 00:31:05,247 --> 00:31:06,646 One of my former mentors, 1081 00:31:06,866 --> 00:31:07,646 the late great Lonnie 1082 00:31:07,686 --> 00:31:08,747 Robinson used to say that. 1083 00:31:08,787 --> 00:31:09,326 He goes, brother, 1084 00:31:09,406 --> 00:31:10,327 all you got to do is create 1085 00:31:10,347 --> 00:31:12,728 the next best version of you. 1086 00:31:12,748 --> 00:31:13,667 He goes, 1087 00:31:13,728 --> 00:31:15,147 you don't have to do the ultimate 1088 00:31:15,188 --> 00:31:15,588 version. 1089 00:31:15,669 --> 00:31:17,148 Just how are you going to be 1090 00:31:17,189 --> 00:31:18,929 better today in one way than yesterday? 1091 00:31:19,328 --> 00:31:19,949 Go do that. 1092 00:31:20,429 --> 00:31:21,730 And you string enough of 1093 00:31:21,750 --> 00:31:22,890 those days together and all 1094 00:31:22,910 --> 00:31:23,930 of a sudden you realize 1095 00:31:24,792 --> 00:31:26,273 you're climbing, you're rising up, 1096 00:31:26,493 --> 00:31:27,734 and you look and speak 1097 00:31:27,775 --> 00:31:29,695 about yourself differently in the mirror, 1098 00:31:29,776 --> 00:31:31,517 and you also build your 1099 00:31:31,557 --> 00:31:33,057 confidence that way because 1100 00:31:33,098 --> 00:31:34,118 you're rising up. 1101 00:31:34,619 --> 00:31:36,280 And one of my stage stories is called, 1102 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:37,201 Some Days Your Phoenix 1103 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:38,402 Rides a Pogo Stick. 1104 00:31:39,923 --> 00:31:41,243 Because, you know, 1105 00:31:41,963 --> 00:31:43,125 my life has fallen into the 1106 00:31:43,164 --> 00:31:44,246 fire a couple times, 1107 00:31:44,346 --> 00:31:45,646 burnt off the tail feathers, 1108 00:31:45,686 --> 00:31:47,528 but here's the thing, they grow back. 1109 00:31:48,769 --> 00:31:49,710 If you don't just stare at 1110 00:31:49,730 --> 00:31:50,930 the little nubs of feathers 1111 00:31:50,950 --> 00:31:51,810 you had all the time, 1112 00:31:52,647 --> 00:31:53,428 they grow back. 1113 00:31:53,468 --> 00:31:54,249 And when they grow back, 1114 00:31:54,269 --> 00:31:55,469 the colors are more vivid 1115 00:31:55,628 --> 00:31:57,951 and you can fly higher. 1116 00:31:57,971 --> 00:31:58,570 But you got to have the 1117 00:31:58,611 --> 00:31:59,490 confidence and you have to 1118 00:31:59,530 --> 00:32:01,291 have the appreciation for 1119 00:32:01,332 --> 00:32:02,653 the time that it takes for 1120 00:32:02,692 --> 00:32:05,534 them to grow back so you can fly again. 1121 00:32:05,554 --> 00:32:06,013 That's right. 1122 00:32:06,034 --> 00:32:06,734 I love that, Steve. 1123 00:32:07,255 --> 00:32:07,615 Well, 1124 00:32:08,715 --> 00:32:11,396 I would love to end on a note of what 1125 00:32:11,477 --> 00:32:15,598 is one tip, just one, one takeaway, 1126 00:32:15,719 --> 00:32:17,720 one tip that somebody can 1127 00:32:18,059 --> 00:32:19,701 take with them right now to 1128 00:32:20,167 --> 00:32:22,028 get started on this process, 1129 00:32:22,209 --> 00:32:23,490 or if they've already kind 1130 00:32:23,569 --> 00:32:24,631 of started this process, 1131 00:32:25,111 --> 00:32:26,531 what can they do to enhance 1132 00:32:26,551 --> 00:32:27,692 it and make it better for them? 1133 00:32:28,173 --> 00:32:28,932 Yep. 1134 00:32:28,972 --> 00:32:30,054 Understand that life is like 1135 00:32:30,074 --> 00:32:31,555 an old wooden roller coaster. 1136 00:32:32,496 --> 00:32:33,776 Wherever you are right now, 1137 00:32:33,836 --> 00:32:35,076 you are at parking lot level, 1138 00:32:35,116 --> 00:32:36,077 you just handed your ticket, 1139 00:32:36,097 --> 00:32:36,917 you're getting on the ride. 1140 00:32:37,358 --> 00:32:38,519 Any one of your goals is at 1141 00:32:38,538 --> 00:32:39,759 the top of that first hill. 1142 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:41,141 And it's not like the 1143 00:32:41,181 --> 00:32:42,122 jet-powered coasters. 1144 00:32:42,142 --> 00:32:43,082 You are not going to launch 1145 00:32:43,142 --> 00:32:43,563 right up there. 1146 00:32:43,583 --> 00:32:44,542 You're going to do what a 1147 00:32:44,563 --> 00:32:46,223 lot of people think is very boring work. 1148 00:32:46,243 --> 00:32:48,506 You're going to go click, click, click, 1149 00:32:48,846 --> 00:32:49,066 click. 1150 00:32:49,541 --> 00:32:50,303 But if you start taking 1151 00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:51,423 those steps and you do 1152 00:32:51,482 --> 00:32:53,003 enough of them consistently, 1153 00:32:53,825 --> 00:32:54,766 look over your shoulder 1154 00:32:54,786 --> 00:32:55,726 every once in a while and 1155 00:32:55,746 --> 00:32:56,946 realize how much higher you 1156 00:32:57,007 --> 00:32:57,907 are now than when you 1157 00:32:57,928 --> 00:32:58,907 started at the parking lot. 1158 00:32:59,909 --> 00:33:00,509 And after a while, 1159 00:33:00,528 --> 00:33:01,269 you're going to realize 1160 00:33:01,289 --> 00:33:02,371 that's getting closer and 1161 00:33:02,411 --> 00:33:03,431 closer and closer because 1162 00:33:03,451 --> 00:33:04,731 you are becoming the person 1163 00:33:04,751 --> 00:33:05,893 who's going to not only achieve it, 1164 00:33:05,913 --> 00:33:07,773 but appreciate it and have 1165 00:33:07,794 --> 00:33:09,015 it be a part of who you are. 1166 00:33:09,055 --> 00:33:11,636 So understand it can be a long journey. 1167 00:33:12,958 --> 00:33:14,439 But after each thing you do 1168 00:33:14,479 --> 00:33:15,538 or accomplish or achieve, 1169 00:33:15,558 --> 00:33:17,840 just think in your head, click, click. 1170 00:33:18,804 --> 00:33:20,525 I've got a hashtag, click, baby, click. 1171 00:33:20,565 --> 00:33:22,346 And that's what all of my coaching clients, 1172 00:33:22,365 --> 00:33:24,027 when they have a little breakthrough, 1173 00:33:25,327 --> 00:33:26,528 I get tagged on social media. 1174 00:33:26,567 --> 00:33:27,409 Hey, Steve Gamlin. 1175 00:33:27,489 --> 00:33:29,329 Ooh, hashtag, click, baby, click. 1176 00:33:29,369 --> 00:33:30,549 And I reach out to them and go, all right, 1177 00:33:30,630 --> 00:33:31,049 lay it on me. 1178 00:33:31,070 --> 00:33:31,411 What'd you do? 1179 00:33:31,431 --> 00:33:33,291 Because then I get to share 1180 00:33:33,311 --> 00:33:34,632 their story with other people. 1181 00:33:35,492 --> 00:33:37,874 So we all get to get up there together. 1182 00:33:37,894 --> 00:33:38,914 Because when you get over the top, 1183 00:33:38,934 --> 00:33:39,815 you do that last thing. 1184 00:33:40,755 --> 00:33:41,855 Hang on for a ride you 1185 00:33:41,895 --> 00:33:42,876 couldn't stop if you tried 1186 00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:43,797 because you did all the work. 1187 00:33:43,856 --> 00:33:44,696 And at the end of it, 1188 00:33:46,317 --> 00:33:47,479 screaming your brains out, 1189 00:33:48,196 --> 00:33:49,278 If you really enjoyed it, 1190 00:33:49,417 --> 00:33:49,999 what do you want to do? 1191 00:33:50,019 --> 00:33:50,838 You want to get back and do 1192 00:33:50,878 --> 00:33:52,421 it again and go next level 1193 00:33:52,441 --> 00:33:53,842 because there's always a next level. 1194 00:33:53,882 --> 00:33:55,824 So if you're frustrated or 1195 00:33:55,844 --> 00:33:56,765 feeling stuck or like 1196 00:33:56,785 --> 00:33:57,865 you're on a merry-go-round, 1197 00:33:57,925 --> 00:33:59,007 get off and hop on the 1198 00:33:59,027 --> 00:34:00,067 wooden roller coaster and 1199 00:34:00,087 --> 00:34:02,849 just start doing your little clicks. 1200 00:34:03,451 --> 00:34:03,891 I love that. 1201 00:34:03,911 --> 00:34:06,073 Yes, I appreciate the steps along the way. 1202 00:34:06,874 --> 00:34:07,714 Well, Steve, 1203 00:34:07,815 --> 00:34:09,976 what are the best places to 1204 00:34:09,996 --> 00:34:11,378 get a hold of you? 1205 00:34:12,422 --> 00:34:14,324 You can find me on social media. 1206 00:34:14,403 --> 00:34:15,445 I spend most of my time on 1207 00:34:15,505 --> 00:34:16,726 Facebook and LinkedIn, 1208 00:34:16,985 --> 00:34:18,047 or you can go to my website 1209 00:34:18,086 --> 00:34:20,108 at visionboardspecial.com. 1210 00:34:20,128 --> 00:34:21,889 I love that. 1211 00:34:21,949 --> 00:34:22,510 Wonderful. 1212 00:34:22,590 --> 00:34:24,610 Well, Steve, it was an absolute pleasure. 1213 00:34:24,670 --> 00:34:25,751 Thank you so much for being 1214 00:34:25,791 --> 00:34:27,373 a guest on the show and 1215 00:34:27,452 --> 00:34:28,693 thank you for everyone who 1216 00:34:28,813 --> 00:34:30,074 tuned in today for this 1217 00:34:30,175 --> 00:34:32,036 episode of Grasp Confidence. 1218 00:34:32,496 --> 00:34:33,978 We appreciate every single 1219 00:34:34,018 --> 00:34:35,398 person who listens and 1220 00:34:35,438 --> 00:34:37,420 tunes in weekly for amazing 1221 00:34:37,460 --> 00:34:38,400 guests and interviews. 1222 00:34:38,831 --> 00:34:41,291 from people from all over the globe. 1223 00:34:41,572 --> 00:34:43,934 Guys, don't forget to like, subscribe, 1224 00:34:44,094 --> 00:34:45,155 and leave a review. 1225 00:34:45,494 --> 00:34:48,297 Each review is gratefully appreciated. 1226 00:34:48,637 --> 00:34:49,376 Thank you so much, 1227 00:34:49,396 --> 00:34:51,639 and we will see you on the next episode. 1228 00:34:51,659 --> 00:34:51,998 Take care.