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Andy: This is The Secure Family Podcast.

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Welcome friend, I'm Andy Murphy, the
host and the founder of The Secure Dad.

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This show is all about empowering parents
to protect themselves and their family.

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I believe that security is the
foundation of happiness, and I want

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your family to be safe and happy.

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The information that I share
on this podcast is for general

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information purposes only.

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My goal is to empower you to
make safer decisions for yourself

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and for your family because our
safety is our own responsibility.

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Today I want to share with you three
safety tips that I use all the time,

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and I hope you discover that they're
gonna make your life easier too.

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All of that and more coming up
on the Secure Family Podcast.

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Well, we almost had a big step
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but now that's not happening.

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The Consumer Financial Protection
Bureau was going to make data brokers

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ask our permission before they
collected and sold our personal data.

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But now that's not going to happen.

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And honestly, that's a shame.

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So if you were waiting on legislation
to protect your name, address,

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and even social security number,
you'll have to do it on your own.

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That's JoinDeleteMe.com/Dad code Dad.

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There is no doubt that your kids are going
to want to play video games this summer.

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With school being out, there's a
lot more time for this and a lot

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more time begging for new games.

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If you don't know anything about
online gaming, don't worry.

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I've got you covered.

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My ebook Level Up will teach you
everything that you need to know about the

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world of online gaming in just 30 minutes.

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By the end, you'll have all the
information that you need to decide if

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online gaming is right for your kids.

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Get your copy exclusively
at TheSecureDad.com.

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There's a link in the
show notes for you too.

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So today I wanted to chat a little bit
about three things that I do almost

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daily that I think you probably need
to incorporate into your life too.

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I'm always trying to see trouble before
it starts, and I know that you and I both

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don't want to be the target of a crime.

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So we need to do a few things to make
sure that a bad guy doesn't think

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that we're gonna be an easy target.

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And many times trouble isn't
present, but it's still good to

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make wise decisions so that you
don't find yourself in a bad spot.

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Of course we can't always be a hundred
percent aware all of the time 'cause

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you know, we need to enjoy our life.

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Or you know, God forbid we're
tired or we have a headache.

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While the title of this podcast is kind
of simple, we do need to understand

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that situational awareness is actually
very complicated and you can't get

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everything you need to know from
a TikTok video or an X thread or a

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single episode of a popular podcast.

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So, uh, as I alluded to just a moment
ago, we can't be switched on all the time.

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Not even I can do that.

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And I've studied this stuff,
you know, every week for years.

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The fact is that we are going to get
tired, we're going to be distracted by

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the dog in the parking lot, or we're
gonna have our faces in our phones

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trying to figure out a text about what
we're gonna have for dinner tonight.

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Knowing that we can't actually be
situationally aware all of the time,

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I realized that I needed to develop
some personal security habits.

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And these habits I've developed from what
I have learned about being safe in public.

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While my brain may not always be
switched on, if I commit to some of

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these hardcore habits, I still have
some security radar working for me.

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I've preached this for
years and I practice it too.

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So here are three security habits
that you can use to boost your

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situational awareness and avoid
being the target of a crime.

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Now, the first one comes in the parking
lot when you are getting out of your car.

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Make sure to check the immediate
area surrounding your vehicle.

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I have those little circular blind
spot mirrors on my cars and I look at

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those before I get out to make sure
that nobody is like standing right

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beside my car and they're ready to
rush me as soon as they open the door.

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I also look at the one.

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On the other side to make sure
that nobody is hiding there either.

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Then I look in the rear view mirror
and then out the front and through

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the windows, and this is a quick scan
that only takes me, I don't know,

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10 seconds or something like that.

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So this is something that's
easily doable for everybody.

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So then I actually take a larger
scan of the area to see what's going

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on, a little bit further out and
to see who or what may not fit in.

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And we're gonna talk more
about that in a minute.

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Now, I've done this for a long time
and I've heard Patrick McNamara

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say pretty much religiously that
he has a five and 25 yard rule.

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He says that if you first look at five
yards out from your car and then 25 yards

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out to see what's going on before you
get out, you're gonna be in great shape.

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And this was cool to hear him
say that because I've been doing

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something like that all along.

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But I think the way he's put it
is a whole lot more memorable.

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So look five yards around your
car first, and then push out

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to 25 and see what's going on.

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Secure habit number two
is to look up and out.

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This means that we limit the
opportunity to be distracted in public.

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The best way that we can do this
is by not being on our phones

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while we're out in public.

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When our faces are in our
phones, we are down and in.

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This is the exact opposite
of what we need to be doing.

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I need all the opportunities that I
can get to see a situation developing,

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so the better my odds of being aware,
I set myself up for more success

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by making sure that my eyes, ears,
and brain are available to take

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in everything that's happening.

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Also, when your face is in your phone,
you may not notice that you've wandered

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too close to a fountain and you trip
and fall in and you're all wet now.

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While that sounds ridiculous, I swear
I see a video every week of somebody

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falling into a fountain or falling down
like an open manhole cover or something.

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So keeping yourself alert to your
environment is key, and you need

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to devote your brain to doing that.

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And because it's summer, I also
want to remind you that you need

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to be up and out when you are
watching your kids at the pool.

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Remember that.

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The last secure habit that I
wanna leave you with for today is

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to notice who is acting counter
to what's going on around you.

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The gentleman of the Human
Behavior Podcast call this

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looking for incongruent signals.

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That means something that is
in a location or shouldn't be.

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Or maybe something is missing.

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Maybe a person is behaving
differently than everyone else.

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It, it can actually mean a lot of things.

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For example, let's head
back out to the parking lot.

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If I'm in the parking lot at Best
Buy and I see a car pull up to

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the front of the building by the
doors, that's not something unusual.

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Maybe they're dropping somebody
off for work, or maybe they

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just bought a really big TV that
needs to be loaded into the car.

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But now, because you're paying attention
and you are up and out, you see three

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people pop out of the car all at once.

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Well, that's a little different.

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And they're all wearing hoodies and masks.

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Well, that's very incongruent
to what's going on.

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And then they spring inside
leaving their car doors open.

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None of these are safe behaviors.

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These are signals that they are most
likely going to rob the store and

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because again, I'm up and out, I see
this and I decide to get in my car and

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leave, then I'm gonna call the cops.

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All of the things that these people
demonstrated in this scenario were

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things that we need to be looking
for, because that's not what people

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are doing in the parking lot.

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Normally people are parking
their car, getting their keys

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and their wallet and their phone.

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They're getting out and
they're walking into the store.

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Anything other than that is
really something that you

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should pay attention to.

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It might not be a crime.

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But it's definitely something that you
need to look at, understand and decide if

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that's gonna impact your personal safety.

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Now, I have told this story before
on the podcast, and I think it's

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worth going over again because I
thought about it yesterday of all

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things, and it really made me laugh.

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Plus this really fits into
what we're talking about.

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So on the last day of one of my Disney
trips, I was not in a great mood.

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It was, we were going into one
of the parks, I think it was

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Epcot, maybe, I don't know.

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I was tired and the trip
was coming to an end.

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My family had gotten stressed over
a disagreement that we had trying

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to get from the hotel to the park.

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When we reached the outer entrance
of the park, the one before the

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ticket gate, I realized that I just
did not have a sunny disposition.

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The baseline for people going into a
Disney Park is happy, excited, energetic,

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and I was none of those things.

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I also think my stomach hurt too.

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So before I even hit the metal detector.

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The closest agent squared up
to me, and I saw it coming.

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His shoulders, his feet and his
hips were all directed at me.

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He pretty much just ignored my
wife and son, and he was just

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ready to have an encounter with me.

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So there I was talking with this
agent and other people were watching

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us as well, and were also on camera.

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And he asked to look in my bag.

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That's not unusual.

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That's totally fine.

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Now I know that there's nothing in
this bag that he's going to flag.

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So after a brief search, he pulls
out my Key Bar and he examines it.

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By the way, a Key Bar is this thing
for people who have a lot of keys.

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You kind of put them.

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It's in this, you know, I really
don't know how to describe it.

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It's just a, it's a big block of keys.

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That's, that's what you need to know.

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So he gets excited and he taps
the key bar and he says, sir, you

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can't have this knife right here.

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He thinks that I have integrated
a knife into my key bar, which is

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actually something that you can do.

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Um, but I had not done that.

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He even had just a little bit of
happy feet as he said this 'cause he

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bounced up on the balls of his feet
and he kinda looked away so that I

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wouldn't catch the smirk on his face.

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He was also looking at
his other security agents.

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I told him that I didn't have a knife
and I splayed out all of the keys

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for him and everybody else to see.

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I said that the key in
question that he pointed to was

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actually the key to my church.

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As quickly as he was excited.

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He deflated, and after that he
sent me on my way and I smiled

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for the first time that morning

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In that particular situation, was
he wrong to stop and investigate me?

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Absolutely not.

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He made the right call.

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I was the anomaly in the
baseline, but I wasn't a threat.

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But he was right to investigate further.

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And that's what we have to do is check
out who's not acting like everybody

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else and see what's going on and see
if this is gonna be an issue for us.

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If it's going to be an issue,
we need to get out of there.

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I hope you found these three
safety tips helpful, and yes,

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there are more and I will share
them as we go in further podcasts.

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Just keep in mind that situational
awareness is a big topic of

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multiple domains, and it's actually
a lot of fun to sit and study.

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You can't get it all at once,
but if you commit to it, it's

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a really fascinating journey.

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For more on this, I want you to go and
listen to my friends Greg Williams and

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Brian Marin of the Human Behavior Podcast.

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Thank you friend for joining me for this
episode of The Secure Family Podcast.

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00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:16,798
You can take back your privacy and
personal data with help from DeleteMe.

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00:12:17,158 --> 00:12:21,148
Get 20% off a privacy plan when
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00:12:21,748 --> 00:12:25,258
DeleteMe is the official data
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00:12:26,218 --> 00:12:29,788
Learn everything that you need
to know as a parent about online

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00:12:29,788 --> 00:12:31,588
gaming in just 30 minutes.

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00:12:31,888 --> 00:12:35,128
My ebook Level Up is ready
to download right now.

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Check out the link in the description.

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I am Andy Murphy reminding you that
our safety is our own responsibility.