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Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, 

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and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life.

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Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye. 

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Last week's live Q&A  on Throne about my June essay and subsequent podcast episode

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covering the many faces of racism, didn't spark any arguments, finger-pointing, 

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or eye-rolling from anyone, but rather a unanimous desire to not only better 

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understand how we can go beyond educating ourselves about systemic racism, 

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privilege, and ways to move past it,

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but the tools we can use to more productively discuss this issue with our family members,

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co-workers, and friends. To clarify once again, privilege is when you think something

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isn't a problem just because it doesn't affect you personally. 

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One woman, we'll call her Susan, offered the following example of privilege 

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for us to consider: when she was looking for a commercial space to lease 

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so she can open a nail salon, she rented a suite on the second floor 

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of a walk-up building with no elevator.  

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Because of her able-bodied privilege, it didn't even occur to her that this would be

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a problem until someone made an appointment but couldn't get to her salon

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because it wasn't wheelchair accessible.

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Susan doesn't have to be disabled in order to be an ally now in an ongoing 

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effort to make all buildings and commercial spaces accessible.

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Being made aware of her privilege didn't make her defensive, 

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it made her a better person.

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I think we can all benefit from taking inventory of our privilege, whatever it may be.

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And if something positive can be gleaned 

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from recent events, is that a number of readers who attended the live discussion

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expressed how they've always considered themselves nice and kind, but have only 

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now come to realize they've been living with white privilege without realizing it.

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Black listeners said they don't have the time, patience, or bandwidth to educate everyone,

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which is perfectly understandable; racism isn't their problem to fix, it's ours.

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Many people have been unknowingly living in a bubble, and as Thich Nhat Hanh says,

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"We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness."

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One of the most productive questions someone asked was: what is the best way

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to have these conversations with family members who don't see the problem 

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or cannot look within to see that they are part of the problem?

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Well, unsolicited advice can only be perceived as an attack, and, therefore, responded to 

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with defensiveness. Calling someone out on being racist is very tricky for two reasons: 

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one, they might feel justified in their bigotry,

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in which case you're doing nothing but stating the obvious for them,

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or two, they will deny it and respond aggressively. So the only way I have found 

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to peacefully broach the subject is to lead by example. That is to say, never point the finger

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at someone else, but rather share a personal story about your own racism.

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Make one up if you have to, and how you have awakened to a new truth

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after years of believing something else.

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Share a personal story about prejudices that you hold and how your mind has changed.

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Make it about you, not them; and they will not get defensive, offensive, or shut you out.

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Owning up to our own shortcomings comes across as an invitation for the person 

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with whom we are having a discussion to do the same. And once someone is open

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and vulnerable, it's easier to talk to them than when we try to force-feed them,

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because when we push our beliefs on someone, we're literally pushing them away. 

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This opened the discussion to how many of us had emotionally-charged conversations

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with family that was not very effective.

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Not getting emotionally-charged and staying in the present moment with no attachment 

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to the outcome of a conversation is something of a learned art form,

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and that's exactly what we are here to do: to learn, not just keep repeating the same

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behavior and expecting different results.

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The online Q&A then took an unexpected political turn, which I would normally skip

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over as this isn't the time or place for that,

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so I gently shut it down in a way the person who brought it up actually appreciated. 

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This person was upset about a certain politician because he is, as she said,

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 "Divisive, mean, and not a good role model."

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My only suggestion was that she add the words, "according to me," at the end

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of all of her statements and accusations.

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It is our egos that turn our opinions into facts, so much so that then we look at people 

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with differing opinions as our enemies.

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But if we add the words, "according to me," at the end of our statements, 

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then we keep our egos at bay.

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If we don't do that, we assume our truth is true for others as well,

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and it's important that we know our viewpoint is ours alone, 

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that there isn't a "Universal Truth," and that if you believe there is, 

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notice how it's always conveniently your own. 

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Racism is a moral issue, not a political one, 

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even though politicians will certainly try to make it so.

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WhiteAccomplices.org offers helpful strategies in an organized way.

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The first step is to put ourselves in other people's shoes, to practice empathy

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and compassion, and acknowledge that some things may be beyond our understanding,

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but not outside of our ability to be supportive.

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We only criticize that which we have not even made the effort to understand, 

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for once we understand, there's nothing left to criticize. I'd like to wrap up 

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by affirming the Charter for Compassion:

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The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical, and spiritual

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traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. 

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Compassion impels us to work tirelessly 

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to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves 

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from the center of our world and put another there, and to honor the inviolable sanctity 

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of every single human being,

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treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity, and respect.

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It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically

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from inflicting pain. It is a denial of our common humanity to act or speak violently

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out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit, or deny basic rights

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to anybody, or to incite hatred by denigrating others, even our enemies.

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We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even

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increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

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We, therefore, call upon everyone, regardless of how you identify, to restore compassion

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to the center of morality, to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of

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scripture that breeds violence, hatred, or disdain, is illegitimate, to ensure that youth

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are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions, and cultures, 

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to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity, to cultivate an

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informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings. 

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We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous, and dynamic force 

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in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness,

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compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological, 

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and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential

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to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment 

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and indispensable to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.

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So, to all my brothers and sisters, I invite you to be Soldiers of Peace in the Army of Love.

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And as Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Namaste.

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Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless 

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and Buddhist Boot Camp.

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For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com,

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where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project,

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watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list.

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We hope you have enjoyed this episode, 

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and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions. 

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Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏🏼