Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich,
and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life.
Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.
Last week's live Q&A on Throne about my June essay and subsequent podcast episode
covering the many faces of racism, didn't spark any arguments, finger-pointing,
or eye-rolling from anyone, but rather a unanimous desire to not only better
understand how we can go beyond educating ourselves about systemic racism,
privilege, and ways to move past it,
but the tools we can use to more productively discuss this issue with our family members,
co-workers, and friends. To clarify once again, privilege is when you think something
isn't a problem just because it doesn't affect you personally.
One woman, we'll call her Susan, offered the following example of privilege
for us to consider: when she was looking for a commercial space to lease
so she can open a nail salon, she rented a suite on the second floor
of a walk-up building with no elevator.
Because of her able-bodied privilege, it didn't even occur to her that this would be
a problem until someone made an appointment but couldn't get to her salon
because it wasn't wheelchair accessible.
Susan doesn't have to be disabled in order to be an ally now in an ongoing
effort to make all buildings and commercial spaces accessible.
Being made aware of her privilege didn't make her defensive,
it made her a better person.
I think we can all benefit from taking inventory of our privilege, whatever it may be.
And if something positive can be gleaned
from recent events, is that a number of readers who attended the live discussion
expressed how they've always considered themselves nice and kind, but have only
now come to realize they've been living with white privilege without realizing it.
Black listeners said they don't have the time, patience, or bandwidth to educate everyone,
which is perfectly understandable; racism isn't their problem to fix, it's ours.
Many people have been unknowingly living in a bubble, and as Thich Nhat Hanh says,
"We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness."
One of the most productive questions someone asked was: what is the best way
to have these conversations with family members who don't see the problem
or cannot look within to see that they are part of the problem?
Well, unsolicited advice can only be perceived as an attack, and, therefore, responded to
with defensiveness. Calling someone out on being racist is very tricky for two reasons:
one, they might feel justified in their bigotry,
in which case you're doing nothing but stating the obvious for them,
or two, they will deny it and respond aggressively. So the only way I have found
to peacefully broach the subject is to lead by example. That is to say, never point the finger
at someone else, but rather share a personal story about your own racism.
Make one up if you have to, and how you have awakened to a new truth
after years of believing something else.
Share a personal story about prejudices that you hold and how your mind has changed.
Make it about you, not them; and they will not get defensive, offensive, or shut you out.
Owning up to our own shortcomings comes across as an invitation for the person
with whom we are having a discussion to do the same. And once someone is open
and vulnerable, it's easier to talk to them than when we try to force-feed them,
because when we push our beliefs on someone, we're literally pushing them away.
This opened the discussion to how many of us had emotionally-charged conversations
with family that was not very effective.
Not getting emotionally-charged and staying in the present moment with no attachment
to the outcome of a conversation is something of a learned art form,
and that's exactly what we are here to do: to learn, not just keep repeating the same
behavior and expecting different results.
The online Q&A then took an unexpected political turn, which I would normally skip
over as this isn't the time or place for that,
so I gently shut it down in a way the person who brought it up actually appreciated.
This person was upset about a certain politician because he is, as she said,
"Divisive, mean, and not a good role model."
My only suggestion was that she add the words, "according to me," at the end
of all of her statements and accusations.
It is our egos that turn our opinions into facts, so much so that then we look at people
with differing opinions as our enemies.
But if we add the words, "according to me," at the end of our statements,
then we keep our egos at bay.
If we don't do that, we assume our truth is true for others as well,
and it's important that we know our viewpoint is ours alone,
that there isn't a "Universal Truth," and that if you believe there is,
notice how it's always conveniently your own.
Racism is a moral issue, not a political one,
even though politicians will certainly try to make it so.
WhiteAccomplices.org offers helpful strategies in an organized way.
The first step is to put ourselves in other people's shoes, to practice empathy
and compassion, and acknowledge that some things may be beyond our understanding,
but not outside of our ability to be supportive.
We only criticize that which we have not even made the effort to understand,
for once we understand, there's nothing left to criticize. I'd like to wrap up
by affirming the Charter for Compassion:
The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical, and spiritual
traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves.
Compassion impels us to work tirelessly
to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves
from the center of our world and put another there, and to honor the inviolable sanctity
of every single human being,
treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity, and respect.
It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically
from inflicting pain. It is a denial of our common humanity to act or speak violently
out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit, or deny basic rights
to anybody, or to incite hatred by denigrating others, even our enemies.
We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even
increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.
We, therefore, call upon everyone, regardless of how you identify, to restore compassion
to the center of morality, to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of
scripture that breeds violence, hatred, or disdain, is illegitimate, to ensure that youth
are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions, and cultures,
to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity, to cultivate an
informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings.
We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous, and dynamic force
in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness,
compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological,
and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential
to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment
and indispensable to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.
So, to all my brothers and sisters, I invite you to be Soldiers of Peace in the Army of Love.
And as Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Namaste.
Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless
and Buddhist Boot Camp.
For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com,
where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project,
watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list.
We hope you have enjoyed this episode,
and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions.
Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏🏼