WEBVTT 00:00:02.240 --> 00:00:03.560 Hi, this is Shambhavi. 00:00:03.920 --> 00:00:11.320 Welcome to my weekly podcast about spirituality, love, death, devotion and waking up while living in a messy world. 00:00:12.480 --> 00:00:19.280 The Satsang with Shambhavi podcast is recorded live each week with students of our non-profit community, Jaya Kula. 00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:25.840 For more information and to find out about attending a satsang, visit jayakula.org. 00:00:26.520 --> 00:00:27.600 Thanks for listening. 00:00:27.880 --> 00:00:30.880 Much love to you wherever and however you are. 00:00:34.920 --> 00:00:37.775 Hi, I wanted to ask about fragmented self. 00:00:37.800 --> 00:00:45.960 Stephen mentioned that phrase and I was like, wondering about how Shiva nature is the big Self and then we feel fragmented. 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:48.100 Why did you use the word fragmented self that day? 00:00:48.125 --> 00:00:49.220 I wanted to know. 00:00:49.245 --> 00:00:56.800 The fragmented self that I made reference to in the poem we were reading about a hand separated from the body. 00:00:57.880 --> 00:01:01.280 The hand is what grasps, it's what grabs. 00:01:01.960 --> 00:01:05.320 So I think that's what the Rumi poem was referring to. 00:01:06.080 --> 00:01:13.560 So I was saying that when we feel that we're separate beings, we always have this sense of fragmentation. 00:01:14.360 --> 00:01:22.560 We're trying to create a sense of self out of a bunch of constructs and concepts, received ideas from our cultures. 00:01:23.200 --> 00:01:27.080 We have different ways that our desire expresses itself. 00:01:27.640 --> 00:01:33.300 Basically, fragmented means that we're still experiencing anavamala. 00:01:33.325 --> 00:01:38.640 Anavamala is a Trika term, as you know, that means a feeling of separation. 00:01:39.680 --> 00:01:44.920 And we can contrast anavamala with samavesha. 00:01:45.511 --> 00:01:48.680 Samavesha means a feeling of immersion and continuity. 00:01:49.320 --> 00:01:52.440 When we're still experiencing separation, what does that mean? 00:01:53.240 --> 00:01:59.720 It means that we are still perceiving in a real way that we are separate bodies in space. 00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:03.729 And when we're experiencing samavesha, 00:02:03.757 --> 00:02:12.043 it means that we are actually perceiving that we are continuous with a whole. 00:02:12.071 --> 00:02:16.740 That sense of partness doesn't really exist. 00:02:16.840 --> 00:02:22.400 Once we are feeling more immersed and continuous, there's a whole lot of work we're not doing. 00:02:22.600 --> 00:02:30.586 All the work to create this sense of self. Internal conversations and decisions and all that kind of stuff. 00:02:30.714 --> 00:02:37.057 We're simply not doing that work anymore and there's a sense of profound relaxation. 00:02:37.171 --> 00:02:43.057 Once you experience that, the thought of going back to that work? Ugh. It's like, ugh, no. 00:02:43.400 --> 00:02:45.520 I couldn't even do it if I tried. 00:02:45.920 --> 00:02:52.943 The thing is that when you have this encounter with the natural state, with that continuity, that great continuity, 00:02:52.971 --> 00:03:01.014 it is completely non-different from this kind of devotion and sweetness and 00:03:01.043 --> 00:03:07.880 delight and enjoyment and this intelligence that is not captured by anything that we know of. 00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:16.314 When we're experiencing samavesha, we're not just experiencing some mechanical sense of continuity between ourselves and other people. 00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:18.520 There's no such thing. 00:03:19.280 --> 00:03:24.400 It's not just like, oh, I'm looking into space and I don't feel any difference from you. 00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:27.775 If that's all it were, okay, that would be kind of nice, I guess. 00:03:27.800 --> 00:03:37.229 But that is so, so minuscule compared to what we actually experience, which is being immersed in this Self that's just 00:03:37.257 --> 00:03:40.920 full of all these qualities. Just like we are, right? 00:03:41.960 --> 00:03:47.320 But completely unbound and in their most pizzazzy, pristine form. 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:50.800 I mean, there's just a sense of brilliance about everything, right? 00:03:51.640 --> 00:03:53.686 That is so magnetizing. 00:03:55.000 --> 00:04:03.729 That's why I think once we have contact with that, as Ma said, it's that which we discover and then which causes us to not 00:04:03.757 --> 00:04:06.120 want to discover anything else ever again. 00:04:06.440 --> 00:04:16.640 It's just so magnetizing that everything else just kind of becomes meh [laughs], like bothering to construct a self in any way. 00:04:18.920 --> 00:04:20.080 Other than playfully. 00:04:20.520 --> 00:04:27.880 I think there is a sense of cosplay going on on a cosmic scale, but it's not taken very seriously. 00:04:29.160 --> 00:04:32.240 Constructing a self is really exhausting. 00:04:33.000 --> 00:04:35.080 It's something that we spend a lot of time doing. 00:04:35.960 --> 00:04:42.800 And I think even if we're engaged in it a lot, our body, energy, and mind still somewhere knows how exhausting it is. 00:04:43.480 --> 00:04:50.360 On many levels, we express that we want to be relieved of the burden of the self, the burden of this individual self, I mean. 00:04:51.120 --> 00:04:56.160 And we express it when we numb out. Numbing out is a way of being relieved of the burden of the self. 00:04:57.000 --> 00:05:00.080 We express it when we become addicted to substances. 00:05:00.760 --> 00:05:03.200 That's a way of being relieved of the burden of the self. 00:05:03.760 --> 00:05:09.640 We express it when we try to find refuge in romantic love and a sense of merging with one other person. 00:05:10.320 --> 00:05:16.760 Even in a more micro way, people who are always looking for other people who are the same as them. 00:05:18.200 --> 00:05:22.615 Sometimes when people try to befriend me, they said, oh, we're so alike. 00:05:22.640 --> 00:05:24.200 I think you and I are so alike. 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:28.440 And that's an expression of wanting to be relieved of the burden of the separate self. 00:05:29.400 --> 00:05:38.360 So if you're already relieved of the burden of the separate self, you don't really need to be around only people that are like you. [laughs] Turns out. 00:05:38.720 --> 00:05:47.000 Then when we do spiritual practice, we want to become, you know, one of the phrases that's used in Trika is God-intoxicated. 00:05:47.440 --> 00:05:55.040 There's a direct relationship between spiritual intoxication and literal intoxication, the motivations for them. 00:05:55.243 --> 00:05:57.214 This is just something I've talked about a lot. 00:05:57.240 --> 00:06:02.720 I mean, I grew up in a family of addicts, so it's something I've been contemplating a lot in my life. 00:06:03.520 --> 00:06:11.440 And I got invited a really long time ago when I was living in San Francisco to give a talk at a Zen center about addiction. 00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:19.040 That set me off on this course of thinking about how the impulses for addiction and for spiritual life, they have a lot of similarities. 00:06:20.480 --> 00:06:31.000 And then of course, we're doing spiritual practice and we also have that yearning to be more engaged, more integrated, less separate. 00:06:31.560 --> 00:06:33.935 So these are all expressions on a micro level. 00:06:33.960 --> 00:06:42.135 The only difference between all the stuff we do to numb out and forget ourselves and all the stuff we do to wake up and be relieved of that burden 00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:44.240 of individuality or separateness. 00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:52.455 The only difference is one leads to freshness of mind and more skill and more intimacy and a better life. 00:06:52.480 --> 00:06:54.720 And the other leads to the opposite of that. 00:06:55.320 --> 00:06:56.695 But we all want the same thing. 00:06:56.720 --> 00:06:58.560 We're just expressing it different ways. 00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:08.640 And this is the teaching that I've been giving since I ever taught anything, which is that there's only one desire in all of existence. 00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:17.920 All desire, regardless of what the object of desire is, all desire is expressing the same thing and pretty much feels the same way. 00:07:19.680 --> 00:07:24.000 But it's the object of desire that changes as we wake up more. 00:07:25.880 --> 00:07:27.575 And then finally, what is desire? 00:07:27.600 --> 00:07:35.520 So all those desires, even the desire for realization or spiritual life, even those desires have objects. 00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:37.360 They're directed towards something. 00:07:38.080 --> 00:07:42.760 But Lord Shiva's desire, the desire of this reality, is objectless. 00:07:43.240 --> 00:07:48.400 It's simply this desire to express, like a natural desire for self-expression. 00:07:49.200 --> 00:07:56.600 And that's where we end up with all the playfulness because that desire is just expressing itself freely in all these 00:07:56.629 --> 00:07:59.400 different forms in a playful way. 00:08:01.200 --> 00:08:10.157 I've been getting it reflected back to me that some of my obscurations have been amplified recently to a point that they 00:08:10.186 --> 00:08:11.880 have become very clear. 00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:18.615 That has helped me develop and work on them more clearly. 00:08:18.640 --> 00:08:23.560 And if you could talk about this process that it gets a little bit worse when it starts getting better. 00:08:24.160 --> 00:08:27.760 There's many, many ways that that can happen, not just one way. 00:08:28.720 --> 00:08:38.143 But if we're not aware of something at all, or we're only partially aware of it, or we're only intermittently aware of it, 00:08:39.014 --> 00:08:42.640 and then we become more aware of it, of course it feels more intense. 00:08:44.040 --> 00:08:49.400 Maybe we become more consistently aware of some habit pattern that we have. 00:08:50.120 --> 00:08:52.760 Maybe we stop forgetting it. 00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:59.700 You ever have somebody in your life, or maybe you are that person who constantly is having the same realization over and over again, 00:08:59.729 --> 00:09:02.080 like every two years they have the same realization. 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:06.280 Our karmas are kind of like floating ice flows. 00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:09.480 They kind of go back under and then they come up again. 00:09:09.520 --> 00:09:14.000 But if something appears and remains, then you have this experience. 00:09:14.040 --> 00:09:16.720 Oh, I'm experiencing this more. 00:09:17.120 --> 00:09:18.335 It was always the same. 00:09:18.360 --> 00:09:21.040 It's just you didn't have as much awareness of it before. 00:09:21.800 --> 00:09:24.640 Doing daily spiritual practice will make that happen. 00:09:25.200 --> 00:09:35.229 Right now, what we have on earth is all of the most entrenched patterns in our lives being mirrored 00:09:35.257 --> 00:09:45.343 to us in these grotesque ways that you have to be in some really weird condition not to see because they're writ so large. So many more people are 00:09:45.371 --> 00:09:48.757 seeing and if we're being good practitioners we're 00:09:48.786 --> 00:09:56.080 not just running around proclaiming how outraged we are or how upset we are at other people. 00:09:56.640 --> 00:10:05.480 We are also looking in the mirror and finding how aspects of our own self are reflected in these grotesque behaviors. 00:10:06.360 --> 00:10:09.215 Maybe we're not being as grotesque. 00:10:09.240 --> 00:10:20.135 I mean, I don't think anyone here is being as grotesque as Donald Trump or Benjamin Netanyahu. But there are aspects of them that are part of our 00:10:20.160 --> 00:10:24.360 cultures and part of how we're groomed and trained 00:10:24.680 --> 00:10:32.095 to be and we can look in that mirror and then it's like, uh-oh, I see something of them in myself. 00:10:32.120 --> 00:10:38.800 That's how we should be using these events in addition to all the other ways that we're interacting with them. 00:10:39.400 --> 00:10:43.240 I don't know if that's what you were referring to, but that's just another way. 00:10:43.640 --> 00:10:47.480 I've just always learned from negative examples. 00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:54.240 And when we come into more spiritual maturity or just maturity as a person, that's something we can do. 00:10:54.760 --> 00:11:02.143 Instead of running from every negative example or trying to define it as something completely separate from us, 00:11:02.343 --> 00:11:10.920 we can have the courage and the clarity to see how we might be connected to it somehow and learn more about ourselves and work with that. 00:11:11.560 --> 00:11:18.280 So yeah, this is absolutely an unavoidable part of coming into more awareness and maturity. 00:11:20.240 --> 00:11:24.175 I would love to hear you talk more about learning from negative examples. 00:11:24.200 --> 00:11:27.243 And we hear some examples of how you've done that. 00:11:28.680 --> 00:11:36.255 I grew up with some negative examples and felt something in myself responding to that. 00:11:36.280 --> 00:11:39.520 It wasn't really an intellectual process. 00:11:39.800 --> 00:11:46.840 But one thing I was mentioning to somebody the other day is that my parents socialized. 00:11:47.400 --> 00:11:49.760 They went to parties and had friends and stuff. 00:11:50.600 --> 00:11:52.600 But they never invited anyone over. 00:11:53.200 --> 00:11:56.440 When they socialized, they always went to somebody else's house. 00:11:57.480 --> 00:11:59.775 That was a negative example to me growing up. 00:11:59.800 --> 00:12:01.640 I didn't want to have a house like that. 00:12:02.320 --> 00:12:04.575 And so I made a conscious determination. 00:12:04.600 --> 00:12:10.400 When I have my own place to live, the door will be open and it's going to be open house. 00:12:11.560 --> 00:12:12.895 Why did I think that? 00:12:12.920 --> 00:12:17.200 Why did I not think, oh, it's really nice to go out to a party and then not have to have anyone over? 00:12:17.440 --> 00:12:19.160 Someone might have thought that, right? 00:12:19.480 --> 00:12:23.760 But for me, that was a negative example. 00:12:23.800 --> 00:12:28.840 I wanted to have a house full of visitors, full of guests, and I do. 00:12:29.800 --> 00:12:33.160 I grew up with someone who was very self-concerned. 00:12:33.200 --> 00:12:37.280 My father was a very, very anxious person. 00:12:38.640 --> 00:12:39.829 Not like... 00:12:40.200 --> 00:12:44.920 expressing a lot of insecurity in an everyday way. 00:12:45.000 --> 00:12:46.600 That wasn't how he was anxious. 00:12:46.640 --> 00:12:52.935 There was this deep seated anxiety in him that I don't know if I could ever define. 00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:57.080 But when you looked in his eyes, it looked like a storm. 00:12:58.200 --> 00:13:01.055 It was very difficult for me to look directly at him. 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:06.840 The pain in his eyes was almost too much for me to bear when I was growing up. 00:13:08.080 --> 00:13:15.480 And one of the things he taught me was that when you have that kind of pain, that kind of anxiety, you can't care about anybody else. 00:13:16.040 --> 00:13:19.560 Everything in his life was wrapped up in trying to manage that somehow. 00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:22.480 And that being said, he also laughed a lot. 00:13:22.520 --> 00:13:26.120 You wouldn't meet him and think, oh, he's insecure. 00:13:26.720 --> 00:13:28.000 He was very social. 00:13:28.640 --> 00:13:30.120 I would say even gregarious. 00:13:30.800 --> 00:13:34.320 And he was known among his friends for having a good sense of humor. 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:36.415 And he was creative. 00:13:36.440 --> 00:13:39.695 So it was kind of an interesting situation. 00:13:39.720 --> 00:13:45.160 But I was always aware of that pain and of how wrapped up in himself he was. 00:13:45.880 --> 00:13:47.855 He was very critical of other people. 00:13:47.880 --> 00:13:52.815 He was really anxious about us doing certain things as kids. 00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:55.360 Like he never wanted us to take risks physically. 00:13:55.760 --> 00:13:59.455 He was very anxious about that and just everything related to him. 00:13:59.480 --> 00:14:00.720 I mean, he was a narcissist. 00:14:00.760 --> 00:14:06.000 So I just determined that I did not want my life to be wrapped up in myself. 00:14:06.800 --> 00:14:12.600 I saw what that was doing and how that made a horrible life for a person. 00:14:13.720 --> 00:14:15.920 And caused so many problems for a person. 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:18.760 And I determined I didn't want my life to be like that. 00:14:19.720 --> 00:14:27.071 I can't really explain why I was like that, but we see something that doesn't resonate with how we want to live and we just 00:14:27.100 --> 00:14:28.880 make a decision to live differently. 00:14:30.040 --> 00:14:31.480 That's how it's been for me anyway. 00:14:34.280 --> 00:14:35.880 Did you say samavesha? 00:14:36.440 --> 00:14:37.686 Yes, samavesha. 00:14:37.714 --> 00:14:38.729 Samavesha? 00:14:38.757 --> 00:14:39.643 Yeah. 00:14:39.671 --> 00:14:42.720 And you said that's an experience of continuity. 00:14:43.200 --> 00:14:44.480 It means immersion. 00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:53.200 Immersion. Is that an experience that comes and goes, or is that an underlying state or constant state? 00:14:53.720 --> 00:14:58.520 It is our constant condition, but we don't know it most of the time. 00:14:59.720 --> 00:15:01.720 So we aren't creating it. 00:15:02.680 --> 00:15:12.295 But we are able to recognize it more and more as we go along until it becomes our constant condition in a conscious way. 00:15:12.320 --> 00:15:16.957 It's always our constant condition, just not in a conscious way all the time. 00:15:17.520 --> 00:15:24.415 So there's a long period of time in our practice, for most people anyway, where our awareness of it does come and go a lot. 00:15:24.440 --> 00:15:29.280 Anandamayi Ma said, coming and going, the thing will be done. 00:15:30.120 --> 00:15:36.520 That's what she was referring to, coming and going out of greater recognition or awareness of our natural condition. 00:15:36.960 --> 00:15:41.440 Coming and going from that, we will eventually be established in that. 00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:49.280 Is that like an energetic experience or is there anything else you could say about that? 00:15:50.200 --> 00:15:52.240 No, it's not just an energetic experience. 00:15:53.200 --> 00:15:54.480 Is that part of it? 00:15:54.600 --> 00:15:56.880 Is it some kind of body experience? 00:15:57.880 --> 00:16:02.175 The reason I ask is I'm just a very body-based, full of energy type of person. 00:16:02.200 --> 00:16:03.400 So I just was curious. 00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:10.560 Well, that might be a way that you begin to experience more subtlety in your relationship to reality. 00:16:11.280 --> 00:16:13.015 But that's not where you'll end up. 00:16:13.040 --> 00:16:15.280 That's nothing to hold on to as a concept. 00:16:15.680 --> 00:16:20.160 I would throw out the sentence, I am a very body-based person. 00:16:21.280 --> 00:16:23.840 Right now, that's where you're at. 00:16:24.680 --> 00:16:27.320 But you're also a wisdom-based person. 00:16:28.200 --> 00:16:35.000 So we say in this tradition that we have three ways of experiencing our existence. 00:16:35.800 --> 00:16:37.200 We have a physical body. 00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:40.440 Almost everyone has an experience of their physical body. 00:16:41.240 --> 00:16:42.720 We have an energy body. 00:16:43.360 --> 00:16:48.600 And most people have at least a little experience of that, but, you know, not everyone. 00:16:49.440 --> 00:16:51.760 And then some people have a lot of experience of that. 00:16:52.160 --> 00:16:54.440 And then we also have what's called a wisdom body. 00:16:56.000 --> 00:17:05.029 In this kind of tradition, particularly the Tantrik traditions from India in general, both within India and in their 00:17:05.057 --> 00:17:11.960 reception in the West, there has been undue emphasis put on energetic experiences. 00:17:13.520 --> 00:17:17.760 This is because we're collectors of experiences and accomplishments. 00:17:18.840 --> 00:17:27.343 If we had to say, I'm going to become immersed in a wisdom far vaster than anything I could ever totally embody [laughs], 00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:30.000 we're basically saying I'm not all that. 00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:34.095 But if we can say, oh, I had this energetic experience. 00:17:34.120 --> 00:17:36.615 My Kundalini did thus and such and blah, blah, blah. 00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:37.720 I had these siddhis. 00:17:37.840 --> 00:17:45.680 Then we're basically using spiritual practice to maintain our sense of separation for the greater glory of ourselves. 00:17:46.600 --> 00:17:52.614 Really, when we start to recognize that wisdom 00:17:52.643 --> 00:17:57.600 and energy and physical life are never separate, they're the same thing, 00:17:57.629 --> 00:18:00.280 just experienced three different ways. 00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:12.760 But when we start to be more in touch with that wisdom aspect, then the sense of control that we have over our lives greatly diminishes. 00:18:14.520 --> 00:18:20.815 That's a very shorthand way of saying that, which might actually be so shorthand that I'm giving a misperception. 00:18:20.840 --> 00:18:30.040 But we become more skillful, but we also become less of the decision makers in our lives. 00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:34.320 And our lives become more guided by this greater wisdom. 00:18:35.160 --> 00:18:37.680 So many people have an experience of that too. 00:18:37.760 --> 00:18:46.786 I'm sure you do also, of being able to feel the wisdom in a circumstance or feel like you're being told to go in a certain direction or have 00:18:46.814 --> 00:18:51.015 a spontaneous sense of something that isn't just energetic. 00:18:51.040 --> 00:18:52.560 It's more like a communication. 00:18:52.920 --> 00:18:58.920 All of those things are aspects of our wisdom body or what we call our wisdom body just for convenience sake. 00:18:59.400 --> 00:19:07.286 Eventually, if you do this practice for, I don't know how long, no promises, but eventually you will feel like you're 00:19:07.314 --> 00:19:09.880 just in an ocean of living wisdom. 00:19:11.480 --> 00:19:13.295 Now, to me, that feels marvelous. 00:19:13.320 --> 00:19:19.171 But when that first became more apparent to me, it was actually terrifying. [laughs] 00:19:20.040 --> 00:19:23.775 I went to a friend of mine and I said, I feel like guru's everywhere and I don't know what to do. 00:19:23.800 --> 00:19:29.615 I'm just so afraid I'm going to make a mistake because I feel like I'm constantly being ordered around and told what to do. 00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:32.800 And I don't really know if I'm hearing correctly and blah, blah, blah. 00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:34.840 But that was just a phase. That faded. 00:19:35.560 --> 00:19:39.975 I realized that there wasn't a me in the sense I was thinking of to make a mistake. 00:19:40.000 --> 00:19:41.415 So it didn't really matter. 00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:49.855 In any case, yes, we should pay attention to energetic phenomena that are happening in our opening 00:19:49.880 --> 00:19:56.000 in the way that we're unfolding spiritually as people, but we don't want to get stuck there thinking that's the be all and the end all. 00:19:56.560 --> 00:19:58.320 So don't have a concept about it. 00:19:58.760 --> 00:20:00.360 It's not the main event. 00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:04.520 It is something that happens along the way and that will continue to unfold. 00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:12.280 But the main event is the getting of wisdom and being in relationship to living wisdom. That's the main event. 00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:19.943 I was just thinking the other day, because being in this kind of tradition, in any Tantrik tradition from India, 00:20:19.971 --> 00:20:27.775 if you're teaching in any tradition like this, there's always students coming around who really want to have whiz, bang, 00:20:27.800 --> 00:20:30.695 lights and whistles, energetic experiences. 00:20:30.720 --> 00:20:31.840 And that's what they're here for. 00:20:31.865 --> 00:20:33.740 And that's what they're aiming toward. 00:20:34.400 --> 00:20:42.914 And I was thinking about this the other day because there's an American kundalini yoga teacher who's not alive anymore named Swami Rudranada. 00:20:42.943 --> 00:20:44.800 He was called Rudy for short. 00:20:45.640 --> 00:20:53.360 And he had tremendous control over energy and could create all kinds of phenomena around him. 00:20:54.520 --> 00:20:59.040 But he was also tremendously compassionate. 00:21:00.160 --> 00:21:09.535 If you read his writings and his teachings, you can see that compassion was much more important to him than all of these energetic 00:21:09.560 --> 00:21:13.040 phenomenon that he was able to engage with. 00:21:13.920 --> 00:21:22.495 When he died, there was this huge battle among a few male students who other people in that community called the shakti boys, 00:21:22.520 --> 00:21:29.880 for good reason. Who was going to take over and be the new reigning king of subtle energy. 00:21:30.120 --> 00:21:41.057 Of kundalini. But none of them ever talk about compassion. Like all they talk about is their engagement with energy. This is such a waste. Rudy 00:21:41.086 --> 00:21:48.057 was actually a beautiful teacher of compassion. I didn't study with him but just reading his writings he's one of the people that taught me 00:21:48.086 --> 00:21:55.914 what was actually important. But if we're not looking for it we don't notice I guess. 00:21:57.857 --> 00:22:00.900 Satsang with Shambhavi is produced by Jaya Kula, 00:22:00.929 --> 00:22:10.295 a non-profit community offering opportunities to learn and practice in the direct realization traditions of Trika Shaivism and Dzogchen. 00:22:10.320 --> 00:22:16.757 If you enjoyed listening, please help us keep this podcast and many other teachings open to all by making 00:22:16.786 --> 00:22:18.640 a monthly or one-time donation. 00:22:19.640 --> 00:22:24.400 Visit jayakula.org to make a donation and explore more of our offerings.